2010: It was fun, but I wouldn't do it again.

So, I failed the blogging thing. At least for awhile. I am not going to set goals, or try to make up for it... I am just going to update when I feel like it. With that said, let the blogging commence.

It's New Year's Eve, and I can hardly believe it. My sister and I were just trying to remember what we did on this day last year. Fail. We can't remember... but that's ok because today isn't about remembering last year's party, but about remembering the great things of 2010, good and bad, and looking forward to next year.

2010 was a crazy year for me. Half of it was spent in Peru... There I did many things I never imagined I would. I swam in the Amazon. I went sandboarding. I worked as a translator. It was crazy.

The other half was spent here, and "ordinary life" has been rather surreal. I have been doing other things I never imagined. I took Bible College classes online. I have helped in the youth group as a small group leader, and in the church office as a volunteer. I learn something new each week.

This year I have learned a lot.

I have learned what it means to be part of a family.

I have learned to let go of my dreams, and hold on to my faith.

I have learned to cook some, and that I am never going to be a chef.

I have learned to let my guard down, and to guard my heart.

I have learned that love comes in many forms, but the love of God surpasses any of them.

I have learned that joy is a choice, and must be chosen daily.

I have learned to make a bed perfectly, and the value of submission and humility over proper cleaning technique.

I have learned that I am more full of weakness than I thought possible, and more full of possibility than I could have dreamed.

I have learned that I can live in God's presence, and that my failure doesn't offend Him only sadden Him.

This year I have wept and laughed, made new friends and reconnected with old ones.

I gained family in a place far from home, and learned to be at home wherever my family is.

It was one of the hardest years of my life, but I thank God for His grace that brought me through.

Next year, I have one goal, to know God and love Him more.

That, and get a job... that is my current goal.

If I learn even a fraction as much as I did this year, it will be a good year.

Better late and Thankful, than early and... not Thankful.(?)

So, I didn't do the 30 days of Thanksgiving challenge that I usually do... But I was reminded to be thankful quite a bit in this month of Thanksgiving. I was especially thankful this month for my family. I love them entirely too much to just be thankful once a year, but this Thanksgiving was vary special, and I am so glad we got to share it.

Thanksgiving has always held a special place in my heart. I have memories from as early as 5 or 6 years old, enjoying a big family dinner at my Grammy's house with my mom's extended family. I loved everything about the holiday, even then. I love the food, the fact that all Christmas related activities seem to commence the next day. I love a lot of loud people all shoved into one house with the mixed smell of a burning pine log and a cooking turkey. I love the car ride through the streets lined by orange and red leaves.

When we moved to AZ and far from such things as trees and fall, and my extended family, Thanksgiving was kind of depressing for a few years. And last year, I was in another country, so it was very hard to be away from my family on Thanksgiving.

This year, however, was probably the best Thanksgiving I have ever had... and we celebrated on Saturday. My parents, all my siblings, and their families gathered at my brother's new home in Bakersfield. We stayed a few days and enjoyed food, fellowship and general Thanksgiving-ness. I held my niece and nephew close and explained why we celebrate this holiday. I told them how much they are loved and how thankful we are for them. I celebrated my family and was blown away by the faithfulness of God.

I love Thanksgiving.

We had an amazing meal, and an amazing time. I hope I never forget it. I think this was the first year I really celebrated Thanksgiving to the full extent.

I learned something this Saturday. Thanksgiving is not a day. It is an attitude of your heart. It is a conscious choice made to celebrate the blessings in your life. To feast and reflect and enjoy all that God has given. To be truly thankful. It is a special time set aside to do that and only that. I am glad it is such a big event annually so that we can make it so important and special, but we should really be full of thanksgiving each day.

So, today, I am thankful for the opportunity to share on this blog, and all that this blog has given back to me, through you, my readers.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters?

Who do you go to with your problems? A close friend? Your mom? A sister? A neighbor? Do you go to your pastor? To a counselor? To your spouse?

Today someone said something to me that hurt my feelings. I responded in kind. The conversation that had started innocently enough became a heated argument in short time. To quench the anger, I remember (a little too late) what I learned in a Bible Study about not talking when I am angry. So I ended the argument by leaving the conversation, not as nicely as I should have.

Then, I had a decision. What do I do with this anger? I turned to the closest person to me and began to spew all my justification for my anger. This wise and godly person did exactly the thing that anyone should in the situation; this person told me to shut up.

The truth is it wasn't that third party's business what happened between me and the second party. Counsel from my godly adviser was heeded, but I was still boiling over with hurt feelings and I just felt like I had to tell someone. I knew to tell anyone would be gossip and would likely only escalate my already raging emotional state.

Finally, I did what I should have done initially, way back before responding to the hurtful statement. I went to God.

I was reminded that my job as a Christian is to reflect God to the world around me. When people hurled insults on the Son of God, He responded by dieing for them. He literally laid Himself down for them as they killed Him. Knowing this, I should easily humble myself before a flippant comment.

So, I did the last thing I wanted to do in that situation. I swallowed my pride and apologized. Unfortunately, some damage was already done, and my pride wanted to keep rearing its head. But the situation slowly began to turn around. I still have a lot to learn, and I still have a lot of apologizing to do. But I think we are well on our way in the right direction.

So next time you are faced with an unkind word from a friend, or a bad situation at work, who will you turn to? You may eventually need to seek out advice from a godly person, like my adviser who told me to zip it, but first seek out the Counselor that has been sent to you. He has all wisdom and gives it freely to all who ask.

He is a great listener, and always has the right answer. He never lies, even when the truth isn't what we want to hear. He will comfort you, and then, humble you so you can be perfected.

It's a painful process, but the results are glorious.

Happy Birthday Brother Bear!

So, I should have posted this yesterday, but I was too depressed about the fact that I was missing yet another of my nephews birthdays. I am still a little sad about that, but I am choosing to accept that there is a lesson in all of this and that God has allowed this in order to accomplish something good in me.

But let me tell you the story of our little Sky-bear. He was born one Friday afternoon two years ago. I was away at a Women's Retreat with the ladies of Calvary Chapel Surprise. But instead of enjoying my time as a grape in our skits, I was worrying about my beloved Stephani and the baby that she had carried less than 8 months. I was wishing I could be bringing my brother coffee as he paced the waiting room, or reading books to my niece and teaching her to pray for her new brother. Logically, I knew that my presenc

e wouldn't help my nephews lungs develop, or help my sister-in-laws liver function. But somehow, I felt, if I could be there, they would be better. I could help. I could DO something.

That Sunday, as soon as I was back in town, I rushed home, packed an over-night bag and headed to the hospital to take care of the new mom while daddy went to work. I brought her water, and wheeled her down to the nursery. We laughed and tried not to worry about the fragile boy who was more connected than my laptop. I was allowed to change his diaper, allowing me more contact than my sisters or parents had been allowed so far, and in that moment, as his little read legs kicked and his little chest rose and fell with his gasping breaths, my heart melted.

Please save him, Lord, I prayed. I don't think I could live without him.

About two weeks later, Skyler James went home to a new house, two loving parents, and a doting three year old sister. His parents and doctors constantly monitored his breathing and heart rate. Every sneeze caused fear, and every cough brought panic. He had many doctor's visits, and again I prayed. Please keep him, Lord. We need this little boy.

By Thanksgiving, he was a mostly healthy baby boy. He had made it to his due date. He was breathing normally, and his monitors were no longer needed. By Christmas, he was gaining weight, and by the time I said goodbye in August of the next year, he was in the 90th percentile for non-premature babies.

Now, he's two. He's got a huge smile, and a personality to match. Every time I look into his big blue-green eyes, my heart melts all over again. And every time I hear his uproarious laugh, I am reminded of the miracle of his life. And I breathe a different prayer. Thank you, Lord, for this little boy. Thank you, for letting me be part of his life.

I am truly blessed to be part of this miracle. This is for you, Sky. Your Tee loves you.

The Best Roommate I Ever Had

So, my blog used to be fun and inspiring, and weekly. I don't know what happened to that. But let's try and get it back, shall we. First of all, let me say, I love my sister.

I have had great roommates at Bible College and on various trips in my life at different times, but let me say, my sister Leah is my all time favorite. Why? I am not exactly sure. But I have a few reasons why she shouldn't be.

She sometimes locks me out of the room (not on purpose), and then goes to sleep.

I sometimes trip over her stuff.

When upset, she gets quiet, and won't talk about it.

I like to talk about things.

She stays up late most of the time, and wakes up early some of the time.

Our room is tiny.

I have more stuff than her, and therefore feel bad in comparison.

However, she is my sister. We have shared a room for most of our lives. We know each other so well that we rarely can stay upset with each other.

We both love Jesus.

We both love punk rock.

We are the only people who have ever understood the point of the question: Why would you staple dirt to your feet if you are levitating?

We often laugh at stupid things that nobody else understands.

We like to entertain ourselves with Strong Bad Emails.

We have a lifetime of memories and stories.

We have random conversations about languages and scifi.

Life outside the Bible College bubble

It's been quite awhile since my last post. And I must admit that is mostly because I've had a bad attitude. I was doing some traveling, and I did get sick a couple times. But mostly I've been avoiding the whole self-reflection/seeking God/revealing my heart to others thing. Not to say that I have fallen into some deep pit of sin and depression, but just that I have felt pretty blah and didn't feel like sharing my blah-ness with those who read this regularly.

I am going to admit that I had some plans for coming home from Peru and jumping right back into my old life, but that didn't happen. My old life is gone. Logically, I knew this would be the case, but I somehow hoped I was different than everybody else. Not so, Rachael, not so. You too have a new life full of uncertainties and challenges. And I am finding that I have just as many here as I had there.

I came expecting to get a job... I had no idea that my job would be as an unpaid family chauffeur since my parents, younger sister and I share two cars and have crazy schedules.

I came expecting to help my brother and sister-in-law take care of the two cutest kids known to man... I had no idea that after just one month of being home they would move to California.

I came expecting to jump back into all my ministries and Bible studies and social engagements... I had no idea how difficult that would be without a car and a cell phone, especially living half an hour from where I lived before.

My life is not the same as I expected... my dad says, "Welcome to adulthood." And I guess he's right. I'm 21. I'm a senior in college. I have responsibilities. I have challenges. But I have Jesus, too. And I am not giving up.

I my not have known what I would encounter as I landed in PHX on that 747 and walked down the familiar carpet to where I would be reunited with my family. But God knew. He knew that I would struggle with the unknown and eventually find comfort in His arms. He knew I would stubbornly refuse to accept any reality I had not planned until it was just too hard to keep going. He knew that I would find true joy in driving my sister to school, and in serving two days a week at my church. He knew I would need only the couple friends I could still reach, even though I still want 100. He knew that a piece of my heart would leave as I kissed my niece and nephew goodbye and hugged my sister-in-law tight. He knew all this.

I have come to believe that most of my expectations are silly, and pointless, but God allows me to have them. He uses them to get me to move in the direction He calls me. Then, He allows me to be humbled by them when I am disappointed. And just when I think I can take no more disappointment, He steps in with beautiful surprises and proves His glorious faithfulness once again.

Welcome to my life. This is it. A series of expectations, disappointments and surprises. It's not easy, and sometimes not pretty, but always worth it. Because no matter how many times I let myself down, my God never fails.

One More Day...

Today, I crawled out of bed around 9:30 am. My nose running, and my mouth dry, hating the cool air on my arms and ever-so-grateful for my socks and extra blankets, I didn't exactly spring into action. I was up half the night try to figure out how to do what the medicine I took was supposed to. But, despite my current lack of health, I found myself rather joyful this morning. If you are asking why, then you must not realize how much I have been looking forward to this day.
Today, I celebrate one more time waking up in a city I have come to love.
Today, I get to return to one I have learned to call home.
Today, I will enjoy one more day with those who have become my family over the last year.
Today, I head into the arms of those I have missed all the while.
Today, I have one more day serving God in a different culture.
Today, I can step back into the familiar.
Today, I speak Spanish for one more day in a country that claims it with pride.
Today, I will speak English again without fear of being misunderstood.
Today, I have one more day. I have been blessed beyond measure to live this day to its fullest and to joyfully embrace the place God has me, all-the-while looking ahead with gladness at what tomorrow holds.
I have one more day in Lima, Peru, and one more day to serve my Lord. Today is special. It's one more day to do what I was created for.
So, I will not allow my cold symptoms to stop me as I say good bye to all my dear friends. I must admitt, I am not sad to leave. I am thrilled. I have had a very hard time smiling with the few goodbyes I've said. I am ready for the next step. I am ready to walk in God's good, pleasing and perfect will.
I just want to share a passage that has meant a lot to me this week, thinking about all the people who have continued to support me on this journey:

[3] I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, [4] always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, [5] in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. [6] For I am confident of this very
thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of
Christ Jesus. [7] For it is only right for me to feel this way about you
all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in
the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace
with me. [8] For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the
affection of Christ Jesus. [9] And this I pray, that your love may abound
still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, [10] so that you
may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and
blameless until the day of Christ; [11] having been filled with the fruit of
righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of
God. - Philippians 1:3-11 NASB

I am so pleased to know that my journey is not over. God has so much more to teach me, and so many more works for me to walk in. And I am so excited to go where ever He leads.

Our equipo in Arequipa

I, along with seven of my friends from Lima, was able to spend a great week in Arequipa with a team of young people from 5 churches from Virginia and North Carolina. We had a blast as we ministeredalong side Pastor Efrain and his church. We dug in the dirt, ate at a fancy restaraunt and experienced pretty much everything in between. This was a great trip for this group because it showed them a great variety of what Peru's mission field looks like.
I was happy to take part in their experience, and get to know yet another famous peruvian site. The team was amazed at arriving to Arequipa to find that those of use from Lima thought it especially clean and green. They almost cringed at the thought of something bigger, dirtier, and less green. I, loviing Lima as I do, basked in the sunshine we were able to enjoy as we went about our Father's business.
We shared Jesus in parks and schools, helped at a construction site for a new church, and came alongside the coffee shop ministry there. It was a blessing for me to see these young teens work so hard. I was refreshed in my spirit and reminded why I love ministry.
This summer has been a great struggle for me, and many of my close friends and family know. As much as I love Peru, this summer, my heart has been in Arizona and what is waiting for me there. On my trip to Arequipa, God gently reminded me that He has called me here for a reason. I am here to serve Him. I need to be focused on Him, not my ministry even, but on my God, my beloved.
With that said, I have one week left here in Lima, to enjoy my city and my friends before heading from the middle of winter, to mansoon season (God save me). I am planning to enjoy it. I know my next blog will be the better time to share this verse I have, but, just in case, I thought I'd share it now. This is a verse for the children's ministry team at CC Surprise, for my family, and for my fellow missionaries here. I came accross it last week while reading ahead during a team devo (shhhh... don't tell on me).
1 Thessalonians 2:17 -- "But we, brethren, having been taken away from you for a short while—in person, not in spirit—were all the more eager with great desire to see your face." (NASB)
This is my thought for you all. Though we are temporarily separated, my thoughts and prayers are with you. In fact, by that separation, my love for you is not weakened. On the contrary. My desire to be with you is even greater. I am excited to hear more about what God has done in my absense and to share what He has done in and with me.
God bless, and I'll see you soon. Very soon

I know we've come so far, but we've got so far to go.

As the time grows closer for me to leave Peru, I am beginning to realize how much I will miss this place. My life has been here for the last year. And being here I have learned a lot. But what means the most to me is something that I faced again this week. As much as I know and as much as I have grown, I still have a long way to go.
The other day, I was upset about something silly, and I justified my anger.
I often let my mind dwell on thoughts I shouldn't.
I sometimes get lazy and ignore a simple task that God would have me complete.
More often than not, I need to repent of my attitude when making beds or getting up earlier than I want to.
These are just a few of the sins that are hideous to God. I am learning to hate them to. I want to hate my sin as much as God does so that I can become the woman He wants me to be. I want to be more like His Son who stands between me and Him. I want to be worthy of the Name that I hold. I want to be able with Paul to say that I have done all that God has asked of me.
That is my goal. And that is my challenge to you this week. If you have just realized your need for a Savior, or if you have been walking with our Lord for years, there is still so much more that God wants to change in you. Sanctification is a process... it's sometimes painful, sometimes ugly, but always worth it.
Next week I am going to Arequipa. Pray for me, that God would use me and the team to do His work. I will be back in Lima for just a few weeks after that. See you soon. :)

Independence Day

As I strolled down the streets of Magdalena with my red scarf, red socks and patriotic t-shirt, the familiar sting of disappointment hit me. Once again, I am missing out on something very American because I am in another country. All week long, I have been humming patriotic songs and thinking of fireworks and hot dogs. But today, I am here, alone in my room, without any patriot plans of my own. But then, in the midst of my pity party, I am reminded, once again, why I am here.
I am not here, in Peru to tell Peruvians how great my country is, or to share apple pie and pot roast with their unenlightened taste buds. I am not here to prove to them that showering while sick does not lead to instant death. I am not here to prove that not all people from the USA are unable to speak a second language.
I am here because this is where God sent me. He wants me to share His love with these people. To tell them that He sent His Son to die for them, and that Jesus Christ is the only intercessor between God and man.
Last week, a group of amazing young people came from Chino Valley, California, and I got the privilege of serving as one of four translators on their trip to Ica, Peru. Ica is awesome. It's a little city on the northern tip of the world's driest desert. I felt right at home. :) I got to know these people with a love for the Lord as we helped Pastor Robin and his wife, Traci who serve at Iglesia Christiana Koinonia Ica. I was blessed beyond measure to see God use my Spanish in ways I couldn't imagine. I spoke to people of all ages, including a 90 year old abuela who was proud of her ability to wander around without an escort.
I may never see any of these amazing people I am getting the opportunity to know again this side of heaven, but the instant bond of friendship between believers never ceases to amaze me. I would trade every holiday from now til the Millennium to keep serving my God wherever He calls me. His blessings are much better than any 4th of July parade or block party.
And as proud as I am to be an American and as grateful as I am for that blessed freedom we celebrate today, it cannot compare to the freedom I have in Christ Jesus.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

Today was Father's Day! The reason this post is going up so late is that I spent hours talking to my family today. I am totally in love with them, in case I haven't made that clear. I missed them like crazy. But my God is so good that He knew that they were what I needed today.
I have a great father. He loves me and cares for me. He is always concerned about me and my siblings and our well being physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I often call him my human concordance. He is the source of most of my knowledge. And since being in college, I have come to love him more.
But if I ever had to choose between my earthly father, and my Heavenly Father, I would take the second. I am so blessed that God has given me parents who love Him as much as I do. But I know that my God loves me more than my parents do.
I would be temporarily paralyzed without my dad, but I know that I will live with him forever in eternity. I think that's why its easier for me to say goodbye for a few months or years. I miss him terribly, along with the rest of my family, but in light of eternity, what's six more weeks.
My prayer is that this Father's Day, you all experience a little piece of the Father's love and get to know Him better. He wanted to be your Father so bad, He watched His Son die. I can't imagine love like that, but I feel it sometimes... it's overwhelming.

Story Time

Hello and welcome to Story Time with Rachael. Today's story is about a beautiful girl who was outcast but lovable. She had a terrible life and wanted something she couldn't have. So, she followed her heart and chased her dreams and lived happily ever after. Sound familiar? That's the basic storyline of every fairy tale and children's story I've ever heard/read/seen. It sounds great. Inspirational. Empowering. But guess what, it's completely unbiblical.
The Bible tells us that our hearts are decietful and desperately wicked. It tells us that they are perverted by our sin and are the source of our evil desires. Our dreams are the result of selfish ambition. And wanting what we don't have to the point that we would do anything to get it is called coveteousnous and is breaking the tenth commandment.
The world we live in is full of ideas that are contrary to the Word of God, but many times we openly accept them into our lives and even encourage them in the lives of others. We need to be careful.
I am sharing this because in my life I am often tempted to follow my heart, but if I do, I usually end up hurt and confused. If I follow after God's heart, my desires become His, and I can lead my heart into true joy.
I have a dear friend who is a great example of that to me. She encourages me to continue to seek after God's heart.
Right now, my wicked heart is selfishly desiring to sleep in every morning. It desires to take advantage of the kindness of others in order to fill my stomach and my social appitite. It desires to seek after worldly success and the things that the world tells me I need.
But God's heart tells me to serve others. It tells me to go out of my way to be kind to them. It tells me to spend time alone seeking His face and learning to know Him more. It tells me to seek after the heavenly prize and crowns that I will gain for giving of myself to live for Him.
This is a constant battle. In small things and great. Many times we forget that God's heart is pure and perfect, full of plans for us. We can trust Him with our heart, and He will remove our desires and replace them with His, but we have to seek after His kingdom, and its righteousness first. Or else we will end up hurt and confused.

My prospective plans

This week flew by. My Spanish is improving, and I think I am learning a lot more about Peruvian culture. Soon, Mission teams from the States will be arriving. Please pray for me, that God will give me the ability to do all that may be required, whether that is just waking up early to make them breakfast, or accompanying them on trips to other parts of Peru as a translator. These are some of the things I have already been asked to do. I am sure that this will be a whole new kind of experience for me, and I am especially nervous about the translation. I know that God likes to use weak and despised things, so I will have to find my confidence in Him.
Also, please pray for Pastor John Bonnor, and his wife, Pilar as they travel across three continents this month. They will celebrate their anniversary (along with my parents) this week, while they are visiting their son in California. Then, the whole family is headed to Germany for their daughter's wedding.
The church here will be without their head pastor for that time, but we have a few great leaders here to keep things running smoothly.
Thanks to everyone who has supported me. Soon, I hope to get back to a weekly challenge. I will have to set aside more time for prayer and reflection next time I write one of these. I am looking forward so much to returning to the States in August, but even more to living the life God has for me each day as I wait for Him to show me His will.

A quick recap of my week

So, last week I took a class in Spanish. I am amazed at how well I did. I got no credit for it, but it was worth it to sit in and learn. My brain is so packed with Spanish vocabulary and gramar rules that I think it may burst. I am very thankful for my English speaking friends, and also for all the people here who have been so patient with me.
I thought that last week would be my break. A week off. But it wasn't, and I am glad. I am keeping busy. I have helped Ivy, one of the staff members, and my dear friend, with some of her office work. And I am getting ahead on my Chuck Tracks. I have also been spending time with my buddy Shirley and her mom. I am planning to attend the Women's Bible Study on Tuesday mornings, as well. So, there are no plans to slow down soon.
Besides which, since there are not a bunch of students, there is no chef... which means I have to buy and prepare my own meals. I am learning the value of the dollar (and the sole). Today I was so excited because it was my first chance to do my own laundry here in Peru. (I know that sounds silly, but when you pay a certain amount per load, it's exciting to do 5 for less than half that price.)
All-in-all, my life is exciting. God is teaching me things I would have never expected to learn during this time. I can't hardly wait until the teams start showing up from the States and I can speak English and eat good food again. :) But for now, I really do love a room to myself and a flexible schedule.
I also would like to share with those who don't already know that I am returning to Arizona in August. I am excited to see my family and try a semester online. It should be a good time in the Lord continuing my preparation for real life in ministry. See you all then.

Don't Say, "Goodbye"

Like most people, I hate goodbyes. They are funny things. I think we can learn a lot about our relationships with other people in how we say goodbye. In Acts, Paul said a very sad goodbye to the leaders of the church in Ephesus. They were all weeping. It was a sad occasion because they loved him, and they didn't want to see him go.
There are some people who I got to watch leave this weekend who were loved like Paul. Because of their great ministry and fellowship here in Lima, it was hard to see them go. Some people had sad goodbyes, knowing they may never return to this city, and may not see some of the people they have come to love so dearly. Some people left hopeful, expecting to return soon, parting with short hugs and lots of See-you-soons.
I realize now how much I love each of the students who have made up the body that was CCBC Lima this semester. As I said goodbye, and thought that I may never see them this side of heaven, my eyes began to water, and my chest got heavy. This summer, and next semester, I will miss my girls.
I will miss Ina. The lighthearted joy that she used to illuminate each room she entered. I will miss her cute style and her knowledge of Japanese culture that was appreciated by man a Peruvian.
I will miss Lauren (who has not yet left) and her beautiful smile, that rarely departs from her face. I will miss her desire to encourage and to love all who let her in. I will miss her simple faith and easy friendship.
I will miss Rosalie. She was someone who I didn't know that well last semester, but who I have come to love more each day. She is beautiful inside and out, and I love to see how the Lord is continuously using her willingness to serve Him and others.
I will miss Emily, my roommate. I will miss her great mix of North and South American culture that allowed for a great bridge between the two worlds. I will miss our late night conversations and our after lunch naps. I will miss her desire to serve God and to glorify Him in her weakness.
I will miss Andrea. I will miss her desire to make friends with those who are so different from her. I will miss her honesty, and her Colombian sense of humor that lightened many awkward situations. I will miss her ability to find beauty in anyone.
I will miss Lara. I will miss her love of knowledge, and her personality. I will miss her willingness to do whatever may be necessary. I will miss her care that she easily gives to be our nurse-at-hand in the jungle or on the beach. I will miss her... but not yet; she is here til July.
I will miss Holly. I will miss her love for Peru, and for the girls. I will miss her desire to see herself grow into a woman who can be used by God. I will miss her desire to see others have the same opportunity.
I will miss Carolina. I will miss her quiet smile, that sometimes bursts into uproarious laughter. I will miss her sweetness and her beauty. I will miss her morning greetings that didn't make me wish for a second cup of coffee before replying.
I will miss Megan, my sweet friend from Flagstaff. I have come to love her like a sister, and seen her grow. I will miss her crazy dancing, and her desire to serve others. I will miss her silly secrets and laughter. I will miss her rebuke and honesty that has caused me to grow, and her quick forgiveness.
I will miss my Shirley! I will miss our wordless conversations across the table. I will miss her forgetfulness, and her easygoing personality. I will miss my companion who loves food and sleep as much as I do. I will miss our Saturday trips to the bakery and walks to her mom's house. I will miss our times spent teaching each other our language and our culture. I will miss her knowing exactly when there is something wrong.
I will miss my girls. I know God has great things for each of them, and that one day we will share our stories of His great work in and through us. I can hardly wait.

Happy Mother's Day 2010

Hey, all my blog friends. This is gonna be a short post... mostly because I need to leave for church soon. My life has been crazy! The semester ends this week, and with so many changes going on at home, my plans are continuously changing, as well. I wish I could say that I am a confident in what the next step of my life is, but I am not sure what I will doing in a few weeks time.
Please pray for me and my family as we make some important decisions and await important information that will greatly affect how much time I will have left in Peru. I am so thankful for all of the encouragement I have from all of you.
I want to say a special thank you to all my family who has supported me through all the ups and downs of this semester. Also, to all of you who have prayed for me. I am eternally indebted.
I also want to add that I have a great Mom who I love more than my life. She has sacrificed so much for me and been through so much for me. I could never say thank you enough. I don't know why God gave you to me, Mom, but I am thankful for His grace in putting our family together like He did, and I know He is working everything out for our good and His glory.
God bless you, and have a great Mother's Day.
Rachael Out.

Are you ok?

There is something I like to say when my emotions seem to be overwhelming me. "Why did God make emotions so big and people so small?" Everyone has those days, or sometimes weeks, or months, when you hear the question, "Are you ok?" and want to say, "No! I'm not ok. I feel like screaming right now. I am dying inside." But instead you say, "Yeah, I'm great." Then you force a smile, and remind yourself that you have to work hard to make everyone believe you if you want them to think you are alright. But, I personally, try to avoid that. Not by walking around weeping and wailing, but by being honest if I'm not ok. And also, by rejoicing in the Lord despite my circumstances. I think it is possible to do both.
This has been a tough semester, and I have not been happy through a lot of stuff in my life, but I do have joy. It's not always the case, but for the most part, I am learning to rejoice. When my family moves and gives my cat away, when I go to breakfast and there is no coffee, when I get housekeeping because I forget to line up my shoes, when I miss my family on Skype yet again, or when close friends are struggling with serious illness, I can rejoice. I can be sobbing and crying out to God, sad, heartbroken, and full of joy. Why? Because I know that my God is in control. I know that my emotions will pass, and so will my situation, and my God will still be there. In control, working things out for my good.
I know many Christians who condemn others for being sad, or confused or angry because of bad things that have happened in their lives, in fact, many have tried to convict me of such "sins", but I do not believe God wants us to deny emotions of sadness, confusion, or anger, but instead wants us to be wise in how we act on them. If I am sad, I should poor out my heart to my God, and ask for His comforting arms to hold me. If I am angry, I should rest in the knowledge that God is just, and not allow my anger to turn to bitterness or hatred. If I am confused, I should present my questions to God and ask Him for wisdom and accept that He has a plan and a purpose for my life that I may not understand this side of Heaven.
It is ok to be sad, but we should not be without hope. It is ok to be angry, but we should not be without love. It is ok to be confused, but we should not be without faith. God has given us all we need for life and godliness. He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit. We have an eternal future, and a living Hope. This life is fleeting, and so are all the emotions it brings with it. So we cannot let them control us. We need to live in light of eternity, not in light of today.
That has been hard for me this week, since it seems emotions are heightened when decisions need to be made. But my challenge this week is to not let my emotions lead me, but to lead my emotions as I follow God.
Paul the apostle continuously reminded the Philipians to rejoice. He wanted them to remember that they were able to "do all things through Christ" and to keep their focus on the things of God. But Paul was confused, and even discouraged at times. That is not a sin. The sin is when we allow those emotions to direct our actions instead of trusting God to take care of us.
So, I challenge you as well, trust in God, and do not be ruled by your emotions... even if you are not ok. Remember, God is great.

The Good Life

My life is great! I graduated high school with a group of friends who all had dreams. Some dreamed of making it on Broadway or in Hollywood. Some wanted to become great business men and women. Some desired to just be married and start a family. I wanted to be in ministry and living in another country. Now, about 3 years later, I am living in Peru, serving the Lord while studying the Bible. It's beautiful. Many of my friends from high school are still working towards their goals, but more have gotten further and further away. Some have changed their mind, or given up. I feel blessed that God has shown me His will for my life at such a young age.
I often get discouraged when I look into the future, and I try to figure it out. When I was a young girl in high school, I was terribly confused when it seemed like I was moving further from becoming a missionary because I had an idea of how I would make that happen. But God did things His way, and so far this life is much better than I could have made it on my own.
Last week, I was able to spend some time in San Bartolo in a beautiful ocean side resort. Each day, several times, I found myself in wonder, praising God for the opportunity to be somewhere I could never have imagined. And as I look back on my life, I realize that there are so many blessings that I would have missed out on if God had let me do everything my way.
Recently, I have been looking at my options for further education after Bible College. I realize that if I pursue the path I feel God is directing me in, I will have at least three more years of schooling ahead of me. And I may have to go to a school other than the one I would choice for myself. These, among other factors, scare me. I pray, God, don't you want me to serve you? Don't you want me in ministry? Haven't you called me to this place? Don't you have these plans for my life? And the truth is, God answers all these questions with a resounding, Yes! But we are gonna do things My way. Not yours.
I have walked with God long enough to know that I can trust Him. I need to rest in His faithfulness and trust in His promises. Sometimes that is hard. Sometimes, I don't see how I can afford to do things His way, but the truth is I can't afford to do things my way. God knows everything, including the future, and His way is always the best way. His plans never fail. So, right now as I am making plans for my summer here, and for my future, I will keep my eyes on Christ as He leads me in His ways.
I challenge you to seek God while you make plans. His plans may seem crazy, less direct, or costly, but they are always best. They come from the mind of an infinite God who loves you and wants you to prosper.

Another one bites the dust

YAY!!! I have finished another class. This semester has been a lot more work academically. But God has used it in mighty ways. Last weekend I could hardly see how I would finish this class, but by the grace of God I have. And the best part is I am leaving tomorrow for a class on the beach. That's right! The English students are headed for a few days on the beach with Pastor Brian Newberry from CC San Diego. It looks promising!
I am excited to see what God has in store for me this week. I know that there is so much I still need to learn before I will be the woman I can be, but thank God He uses imperfect people to do His work now.
I went to a great vow renewal ceremony tonight for CC Lima's pastor, John Bonner, and his wife Pilar. They have blessed all of us here by being willing servants and starting a Bible college and a church ten years ago. And tonight they celebrated 25 years of marriage. It was a great time.
My prayer is that I will one day have a marriage that lasts that long and is still centered on God. It's funny. Girls are the same around the world. My good friend Shirley, who is Peruvian, also dreams of a beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful wedding. That is one of my greatest desires. I know God will bless it if I am faithful to obey Him and wait for the right man.
Have a great week, my friends. I sure plan to. See you at the beach! Or not. ;)

Is it worth it?

So, I came home from Iquitos, and updated my blog. About half way through writing my post for last week, I got some unexpected news. And since then, my week has been one thing after another. I wish that all my posts could be about my happy life, and what fun I am having in Lima, but this one is not. Let me say, before I go any further, that I am so full of God's joy and peace that I could explode. But I am also a human with emotions, and I have had the hardest week I can remember this week. I have cried too often and hard to count. I have considered changing my life direction. I have felt lost and abandoned. I have wanted to lash out at anyone who was giving me unwanted (although well meant) words of "encouragement". But more than any of this, I have gone to me knees more this week than in a long time. Many times asking God and myself, "Is it worth it?"
I found out this week that one of my closest friends, a girl I've known since I was in Jr. High, who I have known through all the ups and downs of teenage life, with whom I have celebrated the most joyous occasions, and gone through some of the toughest trials, is losing an eye to cancer. And ,this time, I can't be there.
On top of that, another dear friend is moving and expecting her first baby this month. My brother is awaiting news about a possible promotion and move. My sisters are both changing their majors. My parents have decided to move, and told me I will lose yet another cat while I am away.
If you have been praying for me. Thank you. I believe your prayers are what God has used to sustain me this week. If you haven't, please do. Because I am living on prayer right now.
I wanted to share this with you not to make you feel sorry for me. Not even to manipulate prayers or kind words. But to show you what God has been teaching me through the pain of this week.
What was once my life changed in a very short time in my absence, which led me to realize that it has not been my life in quite awhile. If it was my life, it could not have changed a week before I found out. Right now my life is here. And it will be here for awhile.
I would love to be at "home" with all of you, but my life is here, and as long I am here, I will rejoice in the work God has for me here. I don't know how long I will be in the States after I graduate from CCBC, but I do know that God has called me to be a missionary, and I will likely spend a large chunk of my life away from the USA.
This is something I had to commit to last week in Iquitos. I told God that I am willing to go wherever He sends me. No matter what. This week, He just asked me to stay in Lima and be here, completely. I learned what "No matter what" really means.
Don't misunderstand. I love Lima. I love the city and the people. I love my roommate and my friends. I love the school and the church. I love the ministries. I love what God is doing in me. In fact, I rarely miss anyone or anything from the States while I am here. But I also love Surprise, Arizona and Sacramento, California. The people in those places have not been replaced in my heart by the people here. And when my family and friends back home are hurting, I hurt because I want to comfort them.
The hardest part was thinking about all the times I may miss in the future. I have made a life long commitment to serve my God wherever He sends me. My niece asked if I would be home soon, and I had to say "No." She asked if I was leaving again after I come back. And I again she received an answer that she didn't want to hear. I am going to miss a lot of her life, more likely than not. And that's a hard pill to swallow. But it is nothing compared to living the life God has for me.
And so, God is teaching me about the sacrifice that I have made. He is testing my ability to carry the cross I chose. He is asking me, "Are you going to serve me? Really? No matter what?"
And after what has been a hard week, full of struggle and tempting, fear and defeat, but ultimately victory, my answer is a weak, "Yes, Lord. I am going to serve You."
I am not strong enough to do this on my own, but God is strong enough to do this through me. He has been my strength this week and He will be in the times to come.
I would much rather go through a life time of missing my family and friends than experience a week with them that was not in the will of God. It's worth it.

Jungle Woman

Ok, so I spent the last week in Iquitos, which is a city in the jungle of Peru, along the Amazon River. It was amazing. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I forgot my camera, and am now hanging my head in shame that I could not begin to describe to you what my week was like. Besides which, I am almost certain you do not have enough time to hear the thousands of words it would take, but I will try to give you a little piece anyway, and I will post pictures on Facebook, once I get some from my friends.
Our team left a little over a week ago, at 3 in the morning Saturday. We arrived in Iquitos, and rested a little, then the adventure began. We went to a place called Belen. It is a community of floating houses built in the shallow and slow parts of the river. The people row between houses on canoes. No joke. It's like Venice, but super poor.
The houses shook as we sang songs and did skits with the kids. They colored pictures of the good Samaritan, and spoke to us in their beautiful accents. I think we all lost part of our heart to the children of Iquitos.
The market is always a source of sadness for me, as I choke back tears and vomit that threaten to come out. I wish I could explain it to you in a way that could give you an accurate picture. You walk between medicine men, beautiful produce, rotting meat, starving dogs, scantily clad women, tasty jungle treats, and piles of garbage and animal feces. To the people here this is normal, but OCEA would throw a fit! I am sometimes angry with myself for my apprehension and disgust, and sometimes sad for them to have no other choice but this. One more result of a world under the curse of sin.
We also went on two boat trips during the week to jungle communities that are built just a little ways off the river. I felt like I was in a movie. It was unreal to see the animals and plants and the way of life of these people. Awesome. There was one bridge that was only a couple feet off the ground, but it was a real trip. The water was just a small stream beneath us, but we were told the bridge was necessary protection from snakes. We were able to swim in the jungle there, and it was a blast to minister to the people there through dramas, worship songs, teaching and children's ministry. I would love to go back some time.
Yesterday, we went to a zoo and swam in another part of the river closer to the city. We got to hold a baby anaconda and talk to some parrots. Then we flew home to Lima. A great end to a great week.
I think our whole team of ten Americans, one Peruvian, and one Colombian learned lessons we will never forget. God is really working in my heart to show me that I can do anything through His strength and nothing without it. I have known for a long time that I am called to be a missionary, but until this week I would not believe that I would be able to live in the jungle. Even still, I don't prefer the jungle to the city, but I definitely believe that I would joyfully serve my Lord if He called me there.
My prayer is for all the people I met this week, and that we shared with, that they would see the Lord who gives us strength. I pray that they would turn to Him for salvation that only comes through Him. I pray for all my friends and family back in Arizona that you would be open to whatever life God is calling you to. That you would allow Him to stretch your comfort zone and show you a life that you didn't think you could live. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
I miss you all a little more today, and may prayers and blessings are with you. Please don't forget all the people dying in the desert of Arizona and the valleys of California while you pray for the jungle surrounding Iquitos and the beaches of Lima.

My Cardboard Testimony

On Friday, all us estudantes are heading out to either Huanaco or Iquitos. I am going to Iquitos. :) Iquitos is in the jungle. It should be great. We have some dramas planned, and we will be traveling around visiting some different places and sharing the gospel.
One of the things that we have been asked to do is share our testimony. Our team leader, Holly, thought it would be cool to do "Cardboard Testimonies". This is simply writing a short phrase that says who you were before Christ on one side of a piece of cardboard, and who you are now on the other side. It will of course be translated into Spanish before it goes onto the cardboard. But I have been thinking a lot about what I want to write on my cardboard. The truth is, there are different areas of my life that I surrendered quite awhile after coming to my realization of my need for a Savior at the ripe old age of 7 years old. ;) My testimony is not just the story of a little girl who was afraid of the dark and said a magic prayer. It is how God has worked in every area of my life to make me into the person He wants me to be, the person I am still striving to become through the Spirit.
There is a rather difficult part of my testimony that I find embarrassing, but that I feel God is preparing to use in the lives of others. This is something I thought I would share with you, my faithful blog readers. Those who are either amused by me, or who love me enough to look past my insanity to what God is doing in this silly gringa.
I am a Type-A, over-competitive, controlling perfectionist. I like to be first, number one, the best, and in charge. I used to hate doing anything if I wasn't great at it. I lost friends because they beat me at my favorite games in elementary school.
When I was in High School, I realized that there are a lot of things I can't control. I realized I can't possibly be the best at everything all the time. And this upset me. It turned my little world upside down. So, I decided to find something I could control.
I struggled with eating problems for a couple years. I never completely stopped eating, but I used food as a punishment/reward system for life. When things went "good enough", I could quench that hunger with a sandwich or an ice cream. When things were going bad, I could stop eating lunch, or maybe not eat for three or four days. It was systematic, it was methodical. I wanted to feel the pains of hunger. That's what drove me to work harder. That was my reminder that I hadn't met my goal, that I hadn't succeeded yet in the task at hand.
But all along, I knew, that this was a sin. This was me trying to take charge of my own life, me trying to control everything. I wasn't trusting God to take care of me. I was trusting me, my system. And what does that say about the God I serve? That He's not big enough! That He can't take care of me without my help. I was thinking I was somehow capable of meeting godly standards.
When I realized just how big my God is, and how much He loves me and cares for me, despite my inability to ever be good enough, I realized how much it saddened His heart that I could not trust Him. The Bible says that God created the heavens and the earth (Gen. 1:1). It tells us that He knew me as I formed in my mother's womb (Ps. 139). It says that He has my life already planned out so that I don't have to worry about how to serve Him (Eph. 2:10).
Nothing I do will ever be "good enough" for God because only God is good. He can only accept perfection, but through His Son, I am made perfect in His sight. So, He never expects perfection from me unless He has brought it about. I can rest that in the eyes of my great God, I stand not just "good enough", but "perfect" because of the blood of His perfect Son.
I am still competitive, and I still like things to follow a system and an order, but God has brought such balance to my life, and the struggle with this area is almost non-existent. (I say "almost" because sometimes the urge to stop eating hits me like a brick, I cannot go on a diet, and fasting is very hard for me.) And when that temptation does come, I just ask myself, "How big is your God?"
So, I guess my cardboard can say, "Perfectionist who does not eat," and on the other side, "Trusting God, partaking of the Bread of Life."

The Hardet Thing About Bible College

I was gonna write about my paper, but I really wanted to share this with you. I will try to post some links on FB later for those who are really interested in End Times prophecy that is being fulfilled around us.
The hardest thing about Bible College is not sharing a bathroom with girls I hardly know.
It's not eating food that I don't recognize by sight, smell, or taste.
It's not following a dress code that is stricter than my own.
It's not going to class everyday, or studying every night.
It's not learning to speak a language that I hated in high school.
It's not being thousands of miles from my family.
It's not hearing the same songs over and over, in two languages.
It's not running around in the sun until I'm exhausted and sunburned.
It's not taking a test, or reading a book.
It's not relearning how to make a latte because these machines are ... different.
It's not being without my favorite foods.
It's not learning a new transit "system".
It's not protecting myself from potentially dangerous situations.
It's not checking my bills to make sure they are real.
It's not even going without coffee every once in awhile.
It's not learning how to survive without a sceptic system.
The hardest thing about Bible College for this missionary-wannabe is getting up every morning at 7 am and making my bed.
That is the hardest thing for me. I don't know why. Many days I fail at this, and I roll out around 7:04, feeling like a failure. I stare at my bed, unkempt, and completely inviting. I think to myself, Self, yes that is how I think, in English anyway. I think, Self, you could just go back into that bed. Just crawl in and close your eyes for a few more minutes. You really could. No one would even know.
But then I hear another Voice, reminding me, Rachael, and that's how I know it's not me: it doesn't call me "Self". Rachael, you know you need to get up and make the bed. You need to because you are a bond slave, and you have chosen to follow God. And you have agreed to submit to whatever authority He places over you. And the authority over you now requires you to make that bed. No matter how tired you are, when your last cup of coffee was, or who is going to notice.
And so, eventually, I make my bed and get a shower. I have not forgotten, not once. And overall, it seems to have gotten easier. But some days, I really get upset with the Holy Spirit (that voice I mentioned). I want to just go back to sleep. I want to forget about my silly bed, and these silly rules about waking up at an ungodly (yes, ungodly is the right word) hour. I want to be able to keep my room how I like it, not how someone else says. But I have come to realize this is just selfishness.
Romans 12:1-2 tells us to present ourselves as a living sacrifice. And Galatians 5:1 reminds me that I have died to myself. I am not my own. I belong to my Master. And, like Him, my goal is to serve those around me, unselfishly. In 1 John, we are told over and over to love one another. In Romans, we are told that there is no authority that God has not allowed, and for that reason, we need to respect it inasmuch as it does not contradict the command of the Lord.
So I have several reasons to make my bed, and not one legitimate reason not to.
I share this with you, to show you my most sincere and honest struggle. Dorm cleaning is hard for me. It goes against everything I want to do. My flesh absolutely despises it. Not because I am messy; I'm actually pretty organized, but because it is someone else's imposed standard of "clean".
Pray with me that I can learn to love following this rule. And that God can be glorified in this weakness.
I challenge you to search your heart and see if there is not a rule or a task that you hate. Learn to follow/do it with joy. Remember that it is a service unto God. Even if it doesn't seem like it. I'm right there with you. I understand, but, like me, you have no excuse.

Living the Dream

One day this week, I changed my Facebook status to reflect how amazing it is to live the life that I have prayed for for several years. Sometimes I say that I am living the life I have dreamed of. But that is not exactly true. I have, like most people my age, dreamed up many lives that are not a reality for me right now. I still have dreams and desires that I hope to fulfill if the Lord does not return in the next 20, 40 or 60 years and I am still alive. I have one dream to teach English in China. That has been my dream since I was 14. I dream of living for at least a year on each continent (except Antarctica). I dream of starting a Christian community theatre. I dream of being fluent in 5 languages. I dream of getting married, having children, adopting. These are my dreams. I desire to be near my family when I am raising my children. I desire a husband who has a heart for the same ministry as me. I desire to get my teaching degree, and a master's in theology. I desire to have a cup of coffee each morning as long as I live. These are my desires. But there is a difference between the life I dream of, the life I desire, and the life that I am praying for, in the past, and even now.
I have all these dreams of great things, and plans and desires that are good. But when I pray, not always, sometimes I even pray in the flesh. But usually, when I pray, I pray for God's will. I pray that God would take and form my desires and my dreams into His. And mostly I pray that He would lead me into a life where I can serve Him according to the call I already know He has placed in my life.
There is a verse that has helped me in learning to love the life I live. It is Psalm 37:4. It says: "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart."(NIV) This seems to contradict verses that tell us of the wickedness of our heart, or verses about being content in all things. This seems to say that God will just give us what we want if we follow Him. But we must interpret this verse correctly in light of what we know from Scripture, and what we know about God.
First let's look at the conditional part of this verse... the first phrase tells us what our part is in receiving this blessing. It says, "Delight yourself in the LORD". When we delight ourselves in the LORD, our delight, and our desires are the things that please Him. Our ultimate desire becomes serving Him, doing His will. So, if we delight ourselves in Him, He will conform our desires to His. In this way, our desires will be fulfilled.
God never leaves His servants with unfulfilled desires. He will either fulfill your dreams or change them. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 says, "To this end we also pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power." (NASB) He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He works in us to will and to complete the work He has began.
My dream was to live in China and be a missionary there, but I prayed for God's will, and my dream has changed. Now I have new dreams and new desires that are being continuously changed or fulfilled before my very eyes. I am blessed to live the life of my dreams, but not the life I dreamed of, the life I prayed for.
This is the life that is available to anyone who prays for God's will, and delights in the Lord. You may not have all your current dreams fulfilled, but when He changes your desires, He will not fail in fulfilling them, in His way and in His timing. Praise the Lord; He is the good and true God.

The Earth Shook Yesterday

Yesterday started like any other Saturday, only quieter. We had a group at a surf camp, and a group in Canta on a retreat, and a group leaving early for the beach with the kids from their outreach. I was enjoying my day, but was rather preoccupied with thoughts about finances, and whether or not my brother is moving, and buying laundry detergent, and unfinished homework for my Revelation class. Like I said- a normal day.
Then, I made my bed, placing Po the Panda beside my pillow, and whispering a prayer for my niece. I did some reading, still distracted, and praying for all the things I think I need.
Opening my computer is the next step in my day usually, and I wanted to see if my parents had heard about the insurance situation, yet. Seeing that I had no reply on Skype and no new emails, Facebook was the next logical step. And a few comments on my news feed caught my eye. One was to my dad, one to my sister-in-law and one to me, from a worried friend who was certain I was under a building somewhere. Another well-meaning friend also wanted to make sure that I wasn't caught in the rubble-y aftermath of the giant earthquake I had no idea about. I knew that something was up, but for some reason didn't immediately check the news, but kept chugging along with my to-do list after reassuring my friends and family that I had not even heard of any earthquake in Peru, and that I and all my friends were very safe despite their bad source of information.
At "Brunch" the other students explained the situation to me. Chile is a mess. There are tsunami warnings all over the Pacific west coast, and Hawaii. I went upstairs and read the news. Cities in rubble, roads overturned, death toll rising. My heart skipped a beat as I prayed.
Thoughts were with our friends on the beach, friends in Hawaii, missionaries in Chile... no wonder my friend thought I was dead. The news looked bad. And it was.
My next thought: Wat if it was me?
Not too long ago there was an earthquake in Haiti, and the next was in Chile. And they aren't going to stop. The earth is headed to it's end, and I can joyfully shout, "Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!" But He's not here yet. Am I really living like today could be my last on earth until the Millennium?
In our Revelation class, we were just talking about the eminent return of Christ. it should make each of us wake up and live for God. We should be trying to take as many hurting souls with us to heaven as we possibly can because the next earthquake could hit you... or them.
I am certain beyond doubt that I am going to spend eternity with my victorious Savior. Why? Because I have accepted His sacrifice on the cross in exchange for my sin. Jesus took my place and yours so we wouldn't have to go to Hell, and so we wouldn't have to suffer the wrath God will one day pour out on the earth that has rebelled against Him. Then, after three days, He rose from the dead, proving that we too will rise with Him if we choose to follow Him and accept His free gift of Salvation. Soon, He will return and Redeem those, both live and dead who have called on Him for forgiveness.
If you haven't, please do, before it's too late. And if you have, please join with me in sharing the hope hat with share with the lost and dying world... before it's too late.
It may be another earthquake that takes you or it may be the Rapture. Either way, what service will you have to show when you stand before the One who died in your place. If God has asked you to do something, anything, what are you waiting for. The Earth Shook Yesterday.

Canta me encanta.

I returned yesterday from a short retreat with the other girls to a city called Canta. It is a beautiful mountain town full of sheep and grass. But, most importantly, it was a quiet place to relax and meet God. I roomed with Lauren, a beautiful girl who loves Jesus who I am enjoying getting to know better this semester. Our dean of women, Ivy taught on the book of Ruth about the character of Ruth and Boaz. We learned from their example what God wants in men and women who are seeking a relationship.
This is a topic that I think gets overlooked a lot in our churches. It is often hard to address ideas of dating or courting or marriage. There are not explicit answers to all our questions, and so, we often end up with broken hearts and soiled reputations, if not physical consequences, when we err in relationship decisions. So, my blog is taking a week away from life in Peru to focus on this topic that my heart has been struggling through.
I personally have very high standards,. Many have teased, and even ridiculed me for many of these standards, including the way I dress, or the fact that I refused to date a boy in high school because he didn't share my faith, or the fact that I am 21 and have never been kissed, but I don't regreat them at all, and I believe that any young woman (or man) of God who put them into practice would have nothing to regret from them. I based them off things I have learned from godly women in my life as well as my own dives into God's Word after mistakes i have made. I wanted to share the basic principles with my blog-buddies, since I know many young girls who are seeking to set up their own set of standards for a love life. Many of these are also relevant for other areas of our lives.
1. The First Priority: First of all, we are told to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. We are told to love and honor Him first in our lives. This is easy to say and hard to do. Before we can be ready for any new romantic relationship we must learn to love the Author of Romance. Anything that is in our life that does not allow or help us love God more cannot stay if we wish to become more like Him. That can include that cute boy who sits next to us in chemistry, or that romantic movie starring a super hot hottie. Or sometimes friends who influence us to make bad choices about relationships. So, if you are uncertain about whether you should get rid of something in your life ask: Is this keeping me from God? Is this more important to me than He is? Would I be unwilling to give this up if God asked me to? If you answer yes, pray that God would help you replace that with something pleasing to Him.
2. The Sacrifice Principle: We are called to present our bodies as living sacrifices. In Romans, Paul tells us that if we are not allowing our bodies to be used by God as instruments of good, than we are allowing them to be used as instruments of evil. This effects your whole life. When you are flirting with a boy, is your body being used as an instrument of good, or evil? When you get dressed in the morning, is your body being used as an instrument of good, or evil? When you are out on a date, and he touches you for the first time, is your body being used as an instrument of good, or evil? I know it's a tough thing to hear, and it's even tougher to answer those questions, but since putting this principle in place, I have felt much more confident about what behavior is acceptable between me and the opposite sex. Anything that does not lead them closer to God is an instrument of evil.
3. The Skin Problem: ok, so this is just a personal standard that I have adopted taught to me at a True Love Waits class by a woman who at the time was engaged. Her now-husband at the time had told her how to dress in such a way that he would be less tempted to think lustfully towards her. The rule is simple. Don't let any skin show that you wouldn't want a guy to touch. And not just your boyfriend, or your brother, or your best friend who is a guy, but how about your teacher, or your youth pastor, or your friend's dad. If he helped you out of the car, it would be ok if he touched your arm, or your hand. If you were playing softball, it wouldn't be awkward if he touched your calves. But it would be pretty awkward if it was your upper thigh, or that part of you chest that is exposed in a low V-neck. This is not a perfect standard, but a general guide line. I find it very helpful, but it is in no way a hard and fast rule. The idea is simply, if they do see it, they will want to touch it.
4. Thought Life: When I was younger, I heard some Christians talking about their thought life. I was really confused. I didn't understand what a thought life was. I now know it is simply what we allow our thoughts to dwell on. We can't always stop a random thought from finding it's way into our head, but we can decide to dwell on good things. Jesus shocked the Jews when He told them that lustful thoughts were sin, but it's the truth. We are not to think sexual thoughts about anyone who we are not married to. That's biblical. And like the old saying goes, If you have to ask, don't do it. If you think your thoughts might be inappropriate, they probably are. I can't tell you how important this is. i have had struggles with this, and still have times when I remind myself that that man is not my husband. The truth is we can make this easier or harder on ourselves by the movies and TV we watch, the books and magazines we read, and the people we hang out with. If we are constantly presented with sexual images, they will be hard to get out of our heads.
5. Arm Length Relationships: When God looks at your life, He already sees the person He has for you. He will not be surprised on the day you get engaged. But until the day when you are finally joined with the person God has for you, I would strongly suggest that you keep in mind that in God's eyes you already belong to that person, even if you don't know them yet. Also, every attractive person you meet already belongs to their future mate as well. I would suggest that you treat anyone you are interested in as someone else's future spouse, until the day you are married. This is important when it comes to romantic relationships, but also friendships. You should not have a friendship that is too intimate with a member of the opposite sex because the chances are one day one of you will get married, and the relationship may have to end, or may cause jealousy if you have not been careful. Also, emotions often come by accident, and you do not want to become too emotionally attached to anyone other than your mate.
6. The Ladder Principle: My mom always told me this, and it never really meant anything until I got dumped by my ex-boyfriend. Relationships are like ladders that you can only climb up. You can't go back down. Once you have shared a kiss, or a hug, or a secret, you can't get it back. And once you go to first base, the next logical step is second. Every time you give something away, it is harder to be satisfied by the previous. I don't think I really want you to have to understand, but trust me when I say, be careful to save as much as you can for the person you will marry so that you can be completely elated by every first that you share.
7. Remove the Hint: We are asked to remove any hint of sexual immorality. We don't want to give Satan anything to hold against us, and we don't want any little temptation to sneak in without notice. I know I already touched on this, but I think it is important enough to reiterate. If it is questionable, it's ok to ask someone you trust, but usually it is best to just get rid of it. You don't want to cause other Christians to sin, or non-believers to question your faith. Any sin is forgivable, so start fresh today. A clean testimony can move mountains.
8. Pray First: Before you think about going out with anyone, pray. Be certain God is in the middle of every decision you make. Base your relationship on a shared faith and certainty in the direction of your life together. Ask those who you know will give you godly counsel. Refuse to be set up by pushy sisters or well meaning friends. Remember that as Christians we make up the Bride of Christ. So, we will be married to Him, and He is a Man worth waiting for, even if we never get an earthly wedding ceremony. Stay pure.
I hope this blesses you. Please know that this is not the hard and fast method to a happy life, but simply part of my knowledge that I pass on to you. Some books I suggest are the Every Man's Battle series (Every Young Woman's Battle was one I read in high school), and When God Writes Your Love Story. I have read parts of others, and I have heard of even more that I am sure are excellent.

Feliz Dia...

Today is Valentine's Day! I have successfully completed a week of school. I must say, I feel very loved right now. I have been enjoying my classes as well as my time in the coffee shop. I am loving the other students; we have lots of fun together. I also was able to go to Ventenilla, a poverty stricken area on the edge of Lima, where the church has a children's program each Saturday. Through the combination of all this and much more, God has been doing a great work in my life.
I know all of you in the States want to know when I am coming home, and some even wonder if I ever will. So here it is: the more time I spend here, the more my heart grows in love for the people, the language and the food. But the more time I spend here, the more God confirms His call on my life to return to the States when I am finished with Bible College. One day, I would like to bring my family and friends to this city I love so well, so that they could understand me better because I know this place has helped shape who I am.
But I have recently felt that my life experience has uniquely prepared me for ministry in the Phoenix area. I cry when I think that so many people there are lost and dying, just like the people here. I have a special place in my heart for those who have moved from the land they know to a place where they are struggling to belong. I know there are so many people struggling to find love this Valentine's Day, and I want to help them find the One who created love and Who loves unconditionally.
I am here to study the Bible, and learn Spanish, and to know God's Will in my life better each day, but I do believe I will return to you. :)
I am studying the book of Genesis with the other girls here, and I am seeing how God fulfilled all His promises to Abraham. God is doing the same in my life right now. Some promises are fulfilled, some are just being made, but they all hold such hope for me in the trustworthiness of my Savior.
So, if you would, pray with me for the people of Lima, the people of Phoenix, and those God has laid on your heart. Pray that they might seek Him while He still may be found.
Happy Valentine's Day

No, I didn't drop off the planet.

So, it's been three weeks since my last post. I've had a birthday since them. I am now 21! I can't believe all that God has done in my life in the last year. My 20th birthday was celebrated in Ethiopia, and my 21st was exactly one week before I returned for my second semester in Peru!
I am excited to be here. I didn't realize how much I missed this place until I came back. I saw all my friends that have become my second family. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my heart has grown rather fond of Peru.
At the same time, my heart is more fond of my family in Arizona, and equally fond of my amazing support system there. I wish I could have greeted my dear friends, the Thiele family as they returned from Ethiopia with the three newest members of the clan. My heart was divided between three continents while their forever family waited anxiously for them.
But about this semester in Peru: I am a dorm steward. Which means I have the responsibility of making sure my room is following campus rules and working through conflicts with the other girls. It is a growing experience, and so far I am enjoying it.
Writing this is slightly easier today than it would have been yesterday, since my roommate just returned with our new fan, George. We have no AC here, so George is making life much more pleasant for us. Since seasons are opposite of the States, we are currently in the hottest month of the year, and it has been rather warm and humid.
I have written my first newsletter, which I will be sending to my contacts at my two supporting churches this week. I hope to send one every month. If you would like me to email it to you, send me your address and you will be added to my list. I am going to try and cover different things in the blog and the newsletter.
Let me leave you with this thought that God has encouraged me with this week.
I was reading Leviticus and I noticed that over and over again you see the words, "The LORD said to Moses." It made me think about how often God speaks to me. I began to ask myself if I was listening to Him.
In 1 Kings 13, there is a story of a young man who took direction from an older prophet when it was contrary to what God had told him. It lead to a rather violent death for this mistake. We all need to be careful that we are following the voice of God.
This semester, I am challenging myself to seek God's voice and follow His directions.
2 Corinthians 1:20 says, "For no matter how many promises God has mad, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through Him the "Amen" is spoken to us to the glory of God."
We can easily follow God when we remember not only His commands, but also His promises because we can be sure that He will always be faithful to His word. And when we follow Him, He promises to be with us all the way, and to love and protect us.
Amen!

The White Rabbit

I'm sorry to say that I was late this week. And with no excuse. The reason simply being that I have had the mother of all colds chasing me for the longest time, and it caught up with me this weekend.
My little sister is now snug in her bed on campus at ASU Main, and though she is sometimes a loner, I will miss seeing her, and laughing with her, now that she is not just down the hall.
Last week was a tough one for me. I sorted a lot of emotions and anxieties. I faced myself, and didn't deal with me to well. But yesterday, I reminded me that God sees how He can be glorified in my weaknesses, and handed Him all my fears. Now, a new week faces me.
This new week is full of excitement and promise, not because of the things that I have filled it with, but because of the God who fills me. I just need to commit each moment to Him.
Today was spent out in this world, and hopefully God can use each encounter to bring those I met closer to Him. I am going to devote this moment to His work. And this night, and tomorrow, and this week, and this year.
I challenge you to do the same. Good night. See you next Sunday... really.

The Search

Today we are having company over for my brother's birthday. I am full of joy for how God has worked in him and his family over the last year. I love him and can't wait to see what the next year will bring for him. :) The picture above is him and my nephew with their matching hair do!

Steven and Stephani, on their way to California.

Steven and Serene at the petting zoo a couple years ago.

Steven with his MJ cupcake at Sky's birthday party! The best picture I have of him.

Happy Birthday Steven!

It is always fun and exciting when birthdays come in my family. My mom loves to make birthdays special, and I have many fond memories of cakes, parties, or just a special card or my siblings and I on our birthdays. However, as an adult, I now realize why my parents seemed so stressed right before our parties. When you have company, the house must be clean!

Today, I rushed home from church because I didn't finish cleaning a few things last night, and I wanted my bedroom and bathroom to be company-ready. It reminded me of dorm cleanings in school. At the Bible college, we are required to keep our rooms clean. In order to make sure this happens, every week there is an inspection. On Wednesdays, you will find otherwise normal and happy college students, down on the ground, scrubbing like their lives depended on it hoping that the inspection can be held off until they can remove the mold from the shower tile grout. They make certain that they have done their very best to rid their rooms of dirt, dust, mold, or any other thing that does not belong.

Throughout the week, most students keep their beds made and their belongings tidy. The trash is emptied, and the floors are mostly clear. Food is kept out of the room, and shoes are stowed under the beds or in the closet. But on Wednesdays, there is an inspection, and so the students make sure that there is nothing to be held against them.

This is how I feel as I approach Communion. I live my Christian life before God fairly clean. I try to seek Him in everything, and though I sin, I am repentant and continuing to serve Him. However, Communion is an opportunity for me to inspect myself, to seek out anything that I might have missed. But unlike my dorm inspections, God is not an inspector who comes in after I have cleaned to punish me for what I missed. He comes along side of me to help me clear it away. In fact, He just shows me what I've missed, asks me if I want to get rid of it, and then clears it out Himself. Although I may feel ashamed of my proverbial mold in the grout of my heart or the dust in the corner of my mind, I can know that Christ already took the punishment of that sin.

Therefore, I should be earnestly seeking out any concealed sin all the time, and not dreading this heart inspection. I should keep my spirit company-ready. I should remember that my body is the temple of the Lord. It is not what goes in that matters, but what is inside that will likely spill out. I pray that don't cough up the dust of sin, but that my mouth would overflow with words of praise.

I am on a search this week. And I challenge you to join me.

Lord, search me and know me. Change me from the inside out so that others may see You in me, and know that You are God.

Amen.

Peruvian Elephants, and Other Things

It's funny how during the Holidays, you can become so distracted by little things, like the Christmas gift you misplaced, and forget what is really important, even momentarily. I am fortunate enough to have something to keep me on track... my blog. :)
Right now, it is December 31st, the last day of 2009. It has been a crazy year, but since I explained that in my last post, I won't dwell on that.
Tomorrow I am going with my dad on a road trip because I have been invited to share at my aunt's church in the town where I was born. That is why I am writing my blog early, although, hopefully it will post Sunday afternoon. I will be gone all weekend. I am excited, but, honestly a little nervous
I am now trying to think about all that I wish to share at this church, and I am sure of a few things that I wish to tell them, but I don't know these people very well, so it's a new situation, and therefore makes me a little nervous. I am planning to share a little about myself, a little about what I've done in Peru, and a little about what I am expecting from my next trip. I also want to share with them something that I think is very important. I want to tell them how important it is to be part of missions.
So many people think that missions is an offering or a position or a trip, but that's not true. It's a call of God on the life of every believer. Let me explain. In Psalm 108: 3 David said, "I will praise You, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing of You among the peoples." (NIV) God is a God who is to be declared. He desires us to share Him with others.
In Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus sent the disciples out with what we call the Great Commission. He told them to "Go and make disciples of every nation." He wanted the Good News to spread.
So, all Christians have a responsibility to share the gospel. But some do it in other parts of the world. I am one who is now going to another nation to share. This is what we call missions.
But I am not the only one who will receive a heavenly reward for my work in the mission field. anyone who takes a small part in sending me will also take part in any blessing I receive.
You who pray for me, who encourage me, who support me in so many ways, who learn from my ministry, all are as much a part of it as I am. You receive the same as me. This is your part, and it is sooooo important.
Romans 10:13-15 says:

For "whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved." How then shall
they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they
believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear
without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As
it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of
peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!" (NKJV)

And you are sending me! The type of logic Paul uses here is ascending points in which each point is more important than the previous and the last point ("And how shall they preach unless they are sent?") is most important. I might have beautiful feet as I preach the gospel to children in Cuzco, but you are sending me!

Thank you! And Happy New Year!