The Tunnel

There's a particular tunnel in PHX that goes on for quite awhile. It's downtown on the 10 between 7th and 7th, and as your reading this, if you have traveled in this tunnel you likely will not need any of my authorly help in picturing it in your mind. It is long, and dark, lighted with those small round lights that seem mostly to remind you of how dark it is. As a teenager, I went on a few field trips that took us on buses through this large tunnel. And, as the superstitious theatre enthusiasts they are, my friends tried their hardest to practice their breath control by holding their breath the entire way.
I usually just laughed at them, enjoying the extra oxygen for the few long minutes while they looked near expiration.
(There are other tunnels that I have been through that are similar, so I have no doubt that if you are reading this in another part of the world, you can relate to my local tunnel. I can think of one along my family's usual route from Sacto to Frisco.)
As I travel through tunnels, whether or not I am holding my breath, I find there is some great relief in the moment when the light at the end engulfs me and I re-enter the world outside. It is that same feeling of tunnel-escaping relief that overcame me on my 23rd birthday.
As most even shortly acquainted with me know, over a year ago, I returned from my excursion to Peru, full of hope and anticipation for what was next in my life. This was followed by a roller coaster of depression and frustration as I waited for some kind of direction to be revealed. I don't know if I expected lightening to strike, or to go to the mailbox and receive a missive written on stone tablets, but I didn't expect to be on my 6th semester of Bible College with a trail of part-time jobs in my wake as I stared at my still undecided, not-so-distant future.
During this period of my life, I have been faced with other various trials, and difficulties. I moved 3 times. I have said goodbye to some very special women who filled my childhood with fond memories and taught me the importance of family. And I watched as those close to me grieved for even more loss.
I have seen betrayal and insensitivity strike the lives of my church family. I have watched as others close to me have struggled with illness and financial hardship.
I was going through a long, dark tunnel, and I couldn't even see the end.
I found myself growing envious of joy experienced by those around me. Even those who I thought I loved more than myself. I found myself thinking, How can they be so happy while my family is suffering?  and Why does all this have to happen, now, to me? Why am I going through all this?
But guess what... I was wrong think that way. I couldn't see the end of the tunnel because I was looking in the wrong direction. I was so consumed with my lap, the little lights, and the entrance to to the tunnel, that I couldn't see the end.
Well, I am starting to emerge from that tunnel now, but there was something I think I needed to learn.
It was not strange that I had a rough year, though it was perhaps the roughest I've known. God warned me that I would face "Trials of all kinds." But I was selfish and self-righteous in my struggling, thinking I was the only one, and that I, somehow, was worthy of a better life.
I forgot that I should see it as an honor to be counted worthy to share in Christ's sufferings.
I hope that you understand that I am not sharing this with you so that you will feel bad for my hardships, because in the light outside the tunnel, I have realized they are no worse than most of yours. In fact, I almost didn't want to share this message that God put on my heart because I realize how petty and self-important I sound.
The point is this, if you are suffering, praise God because He is with you. He is faithful. And He will use this suffering, yes, even this for your good and His glory.
See the tunnel for what it is, and look forward to its end. Don't become obsessed with the lights or the other cars. Don't focus on what was left behind, outside the tunnel's entrance. Just know you will come out with greater patience and experience that will help you minister to others, if you are willing to submit the whole thing to God. And, who knows, maybe you can expand your lungs in the process.

If you don't have anything nice to say, examine your heart.

My nephew is sweet and loving most of the time. But he can be a terror as well. Just this morning, I put a cartoon on my computer for him, and when it was over, he howled like a dog for several minutes because I did not immediately start a new one. I was frustrated that despite the efforts of his parents, he is not content for even a moment if he does not get his way.

Without much thought I found myself saying, "I wish I could just throw a fit every time I don't get my way."

But if I was truly honest with myself, and you, my readers, I would have to admit that I also am quick to complain when things don't go my way. Whether it is waiting on something I want, or being disappointed in the actions of others, I love to complain, if not outwardly, than within myself.

I wish I could say, like Paul, that I have learned to be content, but I haven't. I am still learning. And my heart breaks over the ugliness of my sin. As I examine my heart, I realize that I have a long way to go in being like my Savior. He constantly reveals to me things that were previously hidden.

And then, as I repent, He restores me to the place I need to be. A place where I can serve and love God and others better. I can rest in His mercies and extend them to others.

My challenge, dear readers, is that this week, we come before God and ask Him to reveal our sin to us and to restore us in His mercy. Then, put that mercy on like a robe, and extend it to all those around you.

Those who are hurting, and those who are condemned, they need to see God's mercy in His people. I know I do, and I am blessed to know as many merciful people as I do. :)

Spiritual Luxury

"80% of the world's people never own a Bible." I am listening to K.P. Yohannan's book, Revolution in World Missions. And this nearly blew me away. Along with this fact were listed many others related to the amount of Christian media and other "spiritual luxuries" that are available to the affluent West. The contrast of struggling people around the world with our gold-leafed Christianity is almost sickening.
I must admit, I love Christian "stuff". I love the bookmarks with Scripture embossed on them, and the cute handbags with crosses, or the T-shirts with butterflies that speak of new life. I think all these things are great. They are wonderful, actually. They encourage and uplift believers and sometimes allow for a conversation starter with others. But there is point that needs to be made, taken in, and applied.
When I lived in Peru, I was attending a small Bible College with a small bilingual library. I understood that English books were hard to find, since I was in a Spanish-speaking country, but one thing that I always found strange was that, even though we had as many Spanish-speaking students as English-speaking students (more actually), there were twice as many English books as Spanish ones.
Ignorantly, I believed for awhile that this was because the Spanish students must have access to these books in country and therefore did not need them in the school library. But I was very wrong. Several members of the congregation poured over the volumes available for hours every week. This was the place where books were available to them. And most of the books had not come from a Spanish-speaking country, but were actually printed in the United States.
I once went to a Christian book store in Lima. The limited supply of books saddened me. One of my favorite hobbies is browsing the aisles of books, movies, cds and other Christian media. And once I have collected it, I then often forget what I have or don't have.
One of the greatest blessings from my time there was the opportunity I had to bless two of my friends with Spanish translations of books I love. And I so easily forget that.
There are so many people who have never owned a Bible. I have three in my room right now. So many people don't have the gospel. Yet, we spend so much energy entertaining ourselves and each other.
So, what's the challenge? I am not writing to cause you to go sell your spiritual paraphernalia or to feel guilty for owning it. I just share this  with hopes that God will remind you of how fortunate we are. And to ask you to search your heart and finances and see if you can't find more room there for God and the things He longs for.