In PERU!!! It's true. I got my acceptance letter last Friday, and I leave in August!
I graduate in about two weeks, then I have a summer: school free. It should be loads of fun, working at Starbucks and hanging with some cool kids (who happen to be the children of some church staff). But while I enjoy this summer, my mind will be swarming with thoughts of luggage, visas, school supplies and learning Spanish.
In fact, this may come as no surprise to some of you, but I am already starting to make lists. I have started planning what needs to be planned. That list looks like this:
1. Flight/travel
2. Classes
3. Supplies
4. Shots :/
5. Paying for school
6. Missions fundraising
7. Packing
8. Learn Spanish!
Then there is the list of what I would like to/am required to have for school. It looks like this:
1. LAPTOP
2. IPOD
3. Digital Camera
4. Bible Software
5. Bilingual Bible
6. Books
7. "Chuck Tracks"
Then there is the list of toiletries that I will need while I am there.... I haven't decided yet which ones to buy extras of here, and which ones to bring one of and buy more there. That's really a space issue.
1. Tooth brush (ok, that one is coming on the plane)
2. Tooth paste (ditto)
3. Contact solution (checked luggage for sure)
4. Shampoo/Conditioner
5. Shower gel/soap
6. Lotion
7. Curling spray for my hair (that's the first thing in my checked bag after contact solution)
8. Deodorant
9. Razors
10. Make-up (foundation, lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner)
11. Hair accessories (pins, rubber bands)
The final list is clothing, since I already have bedding and linens taken care of... This list will be made as it gets closer, since I really do still need to wear these clothes. For now, I think I will start stocking up on toiletries so it doesn't come as a big expense in August. I will probably pack and repack all summer! I love packing... yes, I'm a weirdo. But God has so designed me for travel. I am certain that is why I don't care about make-up, using public restrooms doesn't bother me, and I love to learn languages and try new foods (most of the time; just don't ask me about what I ate on my birthday in Ethiopia).
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
"80 grand later and I found out all that I had learned"
"Is that you should show up to take your finals and your midterms."
So, again my life reflects a Relient K song. But its really my sister's fault. She gives me these CDs she burns with catchy tunes. Today (well, I guess it is yesterday now) I picked up all my stuff for graduation... YAY! One less thing to do. In just a few weeks I will have my Associates. I'll be the first in my family, too. It's weird and exciting.
I guess what is so weird is that I feel like in some classes I didn't learn much. Like in the song, I just showed up. However, I guess I learned enough to keep a 4.0, so I can't complain.
In 2 years at EMCC, I have taken:
-1 Math (After testing into Calc, I decided on MAT142, the lowest level they allowed me to take.)
-2 Lab Sciences (They both were Biology, the only science I ever understood)
-2 Computer classes (I abhor these classes, so I took them online over winter breaks)
-2 English classes (Reasons 1 and 2 why I decided not to become an English teacher, which had been my dream since I was 8)
-3 Religion courses (My favorite. Fun classes, fair teacher, lots of learning via discussion)
-1 Mythology (I agree, it should be considered a religion course.)
-2 Psychology classes (In which the instructor tried to convince me to switch majors.)
-1 Sociology class (Gender and Society, which I affectionately referred to as Feminism 101 (ok, so it was really affectionate)
-2 Communication classes (which taught me that talking to people usually means convincing them you are right)
-1 Story telling class (I read them The Tale of Three Trees.)
-2 Sign Language classes (which are not helping my attempts to learn Spanish)
And now, I get to take the classes I have been waiting to take since my second semester here, when I finally admitted that I secretly wanted to go to Bible College. I really don't want to major in English. I really don't want to live in the same spot my whole life with a comfortable income. I want to recklessly abandon this world and live an extreme life of faith. Why? Because one day, I realized something.
When I was fourteen, and in eighth grade, I learned a lesson more valuable than anything I learned from school. I was at a youth camp. We were all worshiping God, and learning about how great He is. We were getting convicted and rejoicing together. For the most part, we all new our Savior. It was then that it hit me. We are so blessed. We KNOW Jesus. We have the opportunity to worship, and to be convicted and rejoice together because we know HIM. But what about the rest of the world? I realized that a majority of the people I saw everyday were going to Hell, and that I was doing nothing to stop them from dying in their sin. I was afraid to share my faith. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of getting to close to sinners. I was just plain scared. But I felt what one author refers to as the Blow Fish Feeling. I knew what I needed to do, but I didn't know how. I knew I couldn't do it myself, but I felt like a blow fish about to explode if I didn't.
God has taught me that He wants to use me. He'll do all the work through me, I just have to be willing. This is true for all Christians. Maybe you don't feel called, like me, into full time ministry as a career, but you have been called by God to reach others for His Kingdom. And when you come face to face with that fact, and the real gravity of it, I believe it will drastically change your life.
I want to present a challenge to you. I don't know how many people read this blog, but I am doing to do this, and I would like you to join me.
My challenge is this: Ask God to show you what it will take for you to be the person He wants you to be. When He shows you--do it.
It sounds simple, but trust me its not. I have been saying this prayer for a few weeks now: "God, what do you want me to do for you, today?"
I told you in my recent post, He asked me to give up television. He has asked me to give up dreams. He has asked me to love people who are hard to love. He has asked me to find time for Him first. These are not easy things. But I find that when I just do them, I find peace with a God who loves me more than I could imagine. And He is more than able to take care of me, despite what I think.
So, again my life reflects a Relient K song. But its really my sister's fault. She gives me these CDs she burns with catchy tunes. Today (well, I guess it is yesterday now) I picked up all my stuff for graduation... YAY! One less thing to do. In just a few weeks I will have my Associates. I'll be the first in my family, too. It's weird and exciting.
I guess what is so weird is that I feel like in some classes I didn't learn much. Like in the song, I just showed up. However, I guess I learned enough to keep a 4.0, so I can't complain.
In 2 years at EMCC, I have taken:
-1 Math (After testing into Calc, I decided on MAT142, the lowest level they allowed me to take.)
-2 Lab Sciences (They both were Biology, the only science I ever understood)
-2 Computer classes (I abhor these classes, so I took them online over winter breaks)
-2 English classes (Reasons 1 and 2 why I decided not to become an English teacher, which had been my dream since I was 8)
-3 Religion courses (My favorite. Fun classes, fair teacher, lots of learning via discussion)
-1 Mythology (I agree, it should be considered a religion course.)
-2 Psychology classes (In which the instructor tried to convince me to switch majors.)
-1 Sociology class (Gender and Society, which I affectionately referred to as Feminism 101 (ok, so it was really affectionate)
-2 Communication classes (which taught me that talking to people usually means convincing them you are right)
-1 Story telling class (I read them The Tale of Three Trees.)
-2 Sign Language classes (which are not helping my attempts to learn Spanish)
And now, I get to take the classes I have been waiting to take since my second semester here, when I finally admitted that I secretly wanted to go to Bible College. I really don't want to major in English. I really don't want to live in the same spot my whole life with a comfortable income. I want to recklessly abandon this world and live an extreme life of faith. Why? Because one day, I realized something.
When I was fourteen, and in eighth grade, I learned a lesson more valuable than anything I learned from school. I was at a youth camp. We were all worshiping God, and learning about how great He is. We were getting convicted and rejoicing together. For the most part, we all new our Savior. It was then that it hit me. We are so blessed. We KNOW Jesus. We have the opportunity to worship, and to be convicted and rejoice together because we know HIM. But what about the rest of the world? I realized that a majority of the people I saw everyday were going to Hell, and that I was doing nothing to stop them from dying in their sin. I was afraid to share my faith. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of getting to close to sinners. I was just plain scared. But I felt what one author refers to as the Blow Fish Feeling. I knew what I needed to do, but I didn't know how. I knew I couldn't do it myself, but I felt like a blow fish about to explode if I didn't.
God has taught me that He wants to use me. He'll do all the work through me, I just have to be willing. This is true for all Christians. Maybe you don't feel called, like me, into full time ministry as a career, but you have been called by God to reach others for His Kingdom. And when you come face to face with that fact, and the real gravity of it, I believe it will drastically change your life.
I want to present a challenge to you. I don't know how many people read this blog, but I am doing to do this, and I would like you to join me.
My challenge is this: Ask God to show you what it will take for you to be the person He wants you to be. When He shows you--do it.
It sounds simple, but trust me its not. I have been saying this prayer for a few weeks now: "God, what do you want me to do for you, today?"
I told you in my recent post, He asked me to give up television. He has asked me to give up dreams. He has asked me to love people who are hard to love. He has asked me to find time for Him first. These are not easy things. But I find that when I just do them, I find peace with a God who loves me more than I could imagine. And He is more than able to take care of me, despite what I think.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Set Apart
Ok, so I've been thinking and pondering about what I should include in this blog. I hope you all can understand my ramblings; lately, I have started to feel that sometimes, when I talk, I come across like a cross between an extremist and a lunatic. And, perhaps, I am somewhere in between normal and crazy, but I promise, there is some validity and logic behind my speech... most of the time.
My last two posts have been about my college group, and let me just say thank you for all who have been praying. We, also, have had regular prayer meetings, which have lent great encouragement and growth to this young body of believers. Please continue to pray for us as we seek individual and communal direction.
Over my last two years in this adventure known as college life, I have been consistently forced to examine myself. I examine my attitude, relationships, lifestyle, diet, homework habits, everything constantly and for various reasons and with various scrutiny. Lately, God has been gently pushing me to look deeper.
It started, I'm pretty sure, when I finally sent in my application for Bible College. I had still been thinking, "God, I know you have called me to ministry, and I can't wait to learn more at school next year so I can finally answer that call."
God stopped me. And very lovingly, He inspired me to remember what I already knew about the life of a Christian: No matter where we are "called" in the future, ministry begins where we are. Here and now. So I prayed a dangerous prayer: "Lord," I said, in fear, but full of faith, "show Yourself to me, and use me in my here and now. Please do whatever you need to do to me to make me the woman you have called me to be. I am not worthy of this calling, but I know you can work beyond my weakness. I am your servant."
I caution you, if you are thinking about praying a prayer such as this, you will never regret it, but it will change your life.
God answered this prayer.
For a while, God had been challenging me to let go of this world and the things that have attached me to it. I had felt a conviction to give up something many of us worship: my TV time.*
It started when He began to gently call me to His side. When we did speak, the conversation went a little like this.
"Rachael,"(yes, when I pray, I know God calls me by name, and no, it's not audible) "Rachael, why don't you stay with Me a little longer. I have so much more to show you about Myself and where you need to be as My child."
"But God," (I'm sure you can hear the inner 7-year old as I whine to my Heavenly Father) "I've already spent hours at school, and at work, and doing homework, and working on ministry, and spending time encouraging Your children. All of these things You have asked of me. All of them, I have done for You."
And sometimes, God was quiet, allowing me to think, in my own ignorance, that I had somehow fulfilled an obligation by my service. And that this somehow meant that I could spend my time how I wished as long as I was upholding my commitments.
However, recently, I was reminded of a great truth. God cannot be repaid. No matter what I do, I can never fulfill any obligation or debt I owe Him. He paid my debt in full, and I accepted His life in exchange for my own.
The problem is, I have been trying to live my life as if it was my own. God had so much for me that I had been missing because I chose to do some things on my own.
Upon the realization of this fact, I claimed a new, set-apart life. And I have become more aware that my life, my time and my energy are not my own. "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. This life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (Gal. 2:20 NIV)
Through a sometimes painful process, God has begun to shape me into a woman He can use. This has been battle between flesh and spirit, and often, I allow flesh to win. This has meant a lot of changes for me, the least of which is a indefinite fast from my television*, and a constant questioning of motives.
God has changed my perspective, and in light of His great love and sacrifice, I now find myself asking, "How can I serve God more? How can I bring Him more glory? What else can I give Him?" Not out of obligation, but out of gratitude.
I have laid all my life down, piece by piece. All my hopes and dreams (many which I still believe He will fulfill). And I pray each day as catch myself reclaiming bits and pieces and repent over and over. I want to say with the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego: "If [I] am thrown into the blazing furnace, the God [I] serve is able to save[me].But even if He does not, [I] will not serve [other gods]."(Dan. 3:17-18)
*Please don't misunderstand this and think that I believe that television, in itself, leads to a life against God. I simply meant to convey that my attachment to television instead of God was sinful.
My last two posts have been about my college group, and let me just say thank you for all who have been praying. We, also, have had regular prayer meetings, which have lent great encouragement and growth to this young body of believers. Please continue to pray for us as we seek individual and communal direction.
Over my last two years in this adventure known as college life, I have been consistently forced to examine myself. I examine my attitude, relationships, lifestyle, diet, homework habits, everything constantly and for various reasons and with various scrutiny. Lately, God has been gently pushing me to look deeper.
It started, I'm pretty sure, when I finally sent in my application for Bible College. I had still been thinking, "God, I know you have called me to ministry, and I can't wait to learn more at school next year so I can finally answer that call."
God stopped me. And very lovingly, He inspired me to remember what I already knew about the life of a Christian: No matter where we are "called" in the future, ministry begins where we are. Here and now. So I prayed a dangerous prayer: "Lord," I said, in fear, but full of faith, "show Yourself to me, and use me in my here and now. Please do whatever you need to do to me to make me the woman you have called me to be. I am not worthy of this calling, but I know you can work beyond my weakness. I am your servant."
I caution you, if you are thinking about praying a prayer such as this, you will never regret it, but it will change your life.
God answered this prayer.
For a while, God had been challenging me to let go of this world and the things that have attached me to it. I had felt a conviction to give up something many of us worship: my TV time.*
It started when He began to gently call me to His side. When we did speak, the conversation went a little like this.
"Rachael,"(yes, when I pray, I know God calls me by name, and no, it's not audible) "Rachael, why don't you stay with Me a little longer. I have so much more to show you about Myself and where you need to be as My child."
"But God," (I'm sure you can hear the inner 7-year old as I whine to my Heavenly Father) "I've already spent hours at school, and at work, and doing homework, and working on ministry, and spending time encouraging Your children. All of these things You have asked of me. All of them, I have done for You."
And sometimes, God was quiet, allowing me to think, in my own ignorance, that I had somehow fulfilled an obligation by my service. And that this somehow meant that I could spend my time how I wished as long as I was upholding my commitments.
However, recently, I was reminded of a great truth. God cannot be repaid. No matter what I do, I can never fulfill any obligation or debt I owe Him. He paid my debt in full, and I accepted His life in exchange for my own.
The problem is, I have been trying to live my life as if it was my own. God had so much for me that I had been missing because I chose to do some things on my own.
Upon the realization of this fact, I claimed a new, set-apart life. And I have become more aware that my life, my time and my energy are not my own. "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. This life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (Gal. 2:20 NIV)
Through a sometimes painful process, God has begun to shape me into a woman He can use. This has been battle between flesh and spirit, and often, I allow flesh to win. This has meant a lot of changes for me, the least of which is a indefinite fast from my television*, and a constant questioning of motives.
God has changed my perspective, and in light of His great love and sacrifice, I now find myself asking, "How can I serve God more? How can I bring Him more glory? What else can I give Him?" Not out of obligation, but out of gratitude.
I have laid all my life down, piece by piece. All my hopes and dreams (many which I still believe He will fulfill). And I pray each day as catch myself reclaiming bits and pieces and repent over and over. I want to say with the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego: "If [I] am thrown into the blazing furnace, the God [I] serve is able to save[me].But even if He does not, [I] will not serve [other gods]."(Dan. 3:17-18)
*Please don't misunderstand this and think that I believe that television, in itself, leads to a life against God. I simply meant to convey that my attachment to television instead of God was sinful.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Entry 2: "Some one plaese save us"
The words to "College Kids" by Relient K ran through my head over and over again this weekend as I was constantly reminded of how desperate "us college kids" really are for direction. A typical conversation with my friends often leads to at least one dilemma we are facing at the present time. Sometimes, it's something as simple as what to eat for lunch, or whether to actually go to class(the right answer of course is "yes", just in case a mother or professor asks). And sometimes it's not so simple. Do I live at home, and save money? If I have a choice, do I get a job? What major should I pick? What school should I transfer to next?
This weekend, my dear friends and I were removed from our normal set of questions and introduced to something new, and to be honest, a little frightening. This weekend we took part in AZ Fuzion, which is a program that brings college students from all over AZ to help plant churches in Tucson. Now, right now, my parents are serving along side some dear family friends in a church plant in Peoria. So, I have some knowledge of what this might entail. And my home church is still sharing space, so I understand some of those frustrations. But this weekend, our challenge was not the activities we helped with at these young churches, but rather what thoughts came along with this.
We were challenged by the pastors and leaders to take what we learned this weekend and pray about planting a church at our college.... now! A crazy and completely impractical, totally illogical by almost any standard, and absolutely a God-inspired thing to challenge us with. Personally, I am no more inclined to start a church now than I was before I went to Tucson on Friday. However, I am totally encouraged that I can do what God has called me to. I believe beyond a doubt He has called me to something much greater than myself (the details of which are still fuzzy), and most of the time I am terrified. But this weekend, I met some college kids who planted a church! Four college students, one pastor, his wife and their two kids, in the middle of Tucson. They planted a church!
And then I am reminded. A young girl and her husband raised the God of the universe for a few years. I am reminded, a young man slayed a giant and became a war hero. I am reminded of so many young ones called by God to do His work. It only took Him six days to build the Earth, just think of how much He can do with me in a couple years.
My prayer for my dear college students is that we don't lose track of whatever God has revealed to us because of all the daily questions college raises, but we focus on what really matters. That we follow the path God has laid out for us with the thought always on our mind that God loves all the lost people around us, and His desire is to use us to reach them.
I often ask God why He chose us to do His work. He still hasn't answered that one yet, but I suspect it is for the same reason He sent His Son: He loves us, and He wants us to love Him. By allowing us to show His glory, we also show Him our love. This is His delight. If that idea doesn't humble you, you must not have the same picture of God that I do, because this revelation continuously brings me to my knees.
I feel often like the lowest person among people when I approach God about His call on my life. I see all my faults, and everyone else seems less hole-ly and a lot more holy. She has more experience, and he a better testimony. She has more money, and he more faith. They definitely know their Bible better, and the others have more love for the lost. Why me, my Lord? I am willing, honored, really, but why? Is not their a less faulty servant that you could use?
But God reminds me, in my weakness He is strong. In my failures, His success more easily shows itself. So again I surrender to the Most High God and pray that I do not fail Him.
And, now, we move forward, together, my friends and I, on our at once separate and united journeys toward Eternity. Desperately, we strive for more to join us, and so provide them with the Key that unlocked our chains. And we question new things? Does God want me to plant a church? Is God calling me to move in order to better serve Him? In what way can I be most effective for Christ while my when and where is now and here?
Again, I ask for your prayers. And I challenge you, if you haven't already, ask yourself these questions. You may be surprised by what you discover, about God and yourself. I certainly was.
Maranatha--
Missionary Hicks
This weekend, my dear friends and I were removed from our normal set of questions and introduced to something new, and to be honest, a little frightening. This weekend we took part in AZ Fuzion, which is a program that brings college students from all over AZ to help plant churches in Tucson. Now, right now, my parents are serving along side some dear family friends in a church plant in Peoria. So, I have some knowledge of what this might entail. And my home church is still sharing space, so I understand some of those frustrations. But this weekend, our challenge was not the activities we helped with at these young churches, but rather what thoughts came along with this.
We were challenged by the pastors and leaders to take what we learned this weekend and pray about planting a church at our college.... now! A crazy and completely impractical, totally illogical by almost any standard, and absolutely a God-inspired thing to challenge us with. Personally, I am no more inclined to start a church now than I was before I went to Tucson on Friday. However, I am totally encouraged that I can do what God has called me to. I believe beyond a doubt He has called me to something much greater than myself (the details of which are still fuzzy), and most of the time I am terrified. But this weekend, I met some college kids who planted a church! Four college students, one pastor, his wife and their two kids, in the middle of Tucson. They planted a church!
And then I am reminded. A young girl and her husband raised the God of the universe for a few years. I am reminded, a young man slayed a giant and became a war hero. I am reminded of so many young ones called by God to do His work. It only took Him six days to build the Earth, just think of how much He can do with me in a couple years.
My prayer for my dear college students is that we don't lose track of whatever God has revealed to us because of all the daily questions college raises, but we focus on what really matters. That we follow the path God has laid out for us with the thought always on our mind that God loves all the lost people around us, and His desire is to use us to reach them.
I often ask God why He chose us to do His work. He still hasn't answered that one yet, but I suspect it is for the same reason He sent His Son: He loves us, and He wants us to love Him. By allowing us to show His glory, we also show Him our love. This is His delight. If that idea doesn't humble you, you must not have the same picture of God that I do, because this revelation continuously brings me to my knees.
I feel often like the lowest person among people when I approach God about His call on my life. I see all my faults, and everyone else seems less hole-ly and a lot more holy. She has more experience, and he a better testimony. She has more money, and he more faith. They definitely know their Bible better, and the others have more love for the lost. Why me, my Lord? I am willing, honored, really, but why? Is not their a less faulty servant that you could use?
But God reminds me, in my weakness He is strong. In my failures, His success more easily shows itself. So again I surrender to the Most High God and pray that I do not fail Him.
And, now, we move forward, together, my friends and I, on our at once separate and united journeys toward Eternity. Desperately, we strive for more to join us, and so provide them with the Key that unlocked our chains. And we question new things? Does God want me to plant a church? Is God calling me to move in order to better serve Him? In what way can I be most effective for Christ while my when and where is now and here?
Again, I ask for your prayers. And I challenge you, if you haven't already, ask yourself these questions. You may be surprised by what you discover, about God and yourself. I certainly was.
Maranatha--
Missionary Hicks
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