¿Tan necios sois?

Hello friends! I hope you are enjoying your lives half as much as I am enjoying mine. I know sometimes we all forget what a gift life is. We forget what a privilege it is to serve God. We forget what an undeserved honor it is to be called by Him into His family. I often look at my life in amazement. I can't believe that God would choose me over anyone else. And that is the focus of this week's rambling: My Weakness!
So, I just want to start by admitting that in the past I was often less than humble. Growing up in a Christian home, I was often judgemental of others and certain that I had my life pretty together. At least more than whoever happened to sit next to me in Sunday school. Then, about 4 years ago, I learned that I was completely wrong about myself. I was faced with, for the first time, the fact that next to God, my thoughts, plans and ideas are elementary at best.
Well, I was realizing that I had many areas of weakness, and so I began to work on them. I let God change me. I surrendered to Him any area which I saw as unpleasing, or less than great. And I know that was what God expected from me at the time. And God really worked at improving those areas in my life, and I am a better person because of it. But friends, He wasn't done.
You see, God does want our broken areas. He does want our weaknesses. He wants to change us and grow us in those areas. But He also wants our strengths. And if we don't give them to Him, He may just take them away.
Let me give you two examples: one from my life, and one from the Bible so you know I'm not just making stuff up.
This week, I was really struggling. Many of you, especially if you have known me for awhile, know that I am good with kids. God has given me natural talents in this area. I also believe I have been supernaturally gifted with the ability to teach. I hope that this doesn't sound arrogant because there is a point in me sharing this, and I get real humble by the end of the story, promise. Let me tell you, I taught Sunday school for the last two years, and there were times that I walked into a class having never seen the curriculum and threw together a lesson as I went. This is my strength.
But, let me tell you, the rules totally change when you throw in a new language. (And at the orphanage, there are 2 new languages: Spanish and Swiss German.) I went to the orphanage the last two weeks and tried to teach these kids ANYTHING, and they were not having it. I couldn't even get them to listen to me. I enjoyed my time with the kids but I felt kinda discouraged that I was completely unable to teach them. I didn't understand until I read the next example:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power my rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have heard this passage so many times, but it meant something so great to me this time. Paul is saying that he was strong. He had his own strength, and that was good to him. But God gave him a weakness to remind Paul to not boast in His strength and to remember that even in our strengths we need God.
In the same way, God brought me to the last place on earth I would have brought myself, where they speak the language I hated, and taught me that HE gave me my strength, and that in that strength, I still need Him. He made me weak so He could make me strong.
Now, if anything is accomplished in my ministry here, it will be obvious that God made it happen. And this is how I prepare myself. By reading Scriptures like this:
Psalm 46:1,5,10 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble... God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day... 'Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.'"
My challenge: that you would strive to rely on God in your strengths as well as your weaknesses.
Gálatas 3:3--"¿Tan necios sois? ¿Habiendo comenzado por el Espíritu, ahora vais a acabar por la carne?"

Because I love you, silly.

So I have not taken any blog worthy photos in awhile. So, I am unable to share my life via photos this week. I am not a photographer, I never have been. So, I sincerely apologize for all you visual people who need images to understand. I don't work that way.
Now, moving past that, I will start this week's blog by saying that I never in my 4 years in Arizona thought that I would for one second miss the wretched desert. But I do. I miss the warmth and the sunshine. (Although, I know you can't imagine this right now, I am sure this will sound lovely in about a month.) I miss my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephew. I miss my church. I miss my friends. I miss free coffee. Yes, I long to be physically with all the people who have made up my life as I made the most significant growth and transition. But I actually found myself thinking that Arizona itself, without these people, is not really that bad. As I write this, I feel as if I am betraying the land I once called home, and still remember fondly, Sacramento, and hope to go there and visit some of my oldest and best friends. But I have no desire to live in California anymore. And for the first time, when people ask where I am from, I answer, "Arizona". I still often feel the need to elaborate that I am originally from California, but I do claim Arizona, now, despite my own amazement at the very thought.
On that note, let me continue by sharing how God has moved in my life this week. This week was less eventful than others, and so I wish to summarize it all at once instead of day by day. I did much of the same. Studying, reading, listening to Chuck Smith explain the Bible. But most importantly, this week, my heart was heavy. I was a little sad, and homesick. I prayed a lot for my family. For my grandmother who is now in the hospital. For my sister-in-law who has been sick for about a year, and finally got a diagnosis of a faulty gallbladder, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. For my sister who is starting college and having a hard time making friends. For my other sister and her husband who have been struggling to find good work. For my nephew who is teething. For my mom who works so hard and spends hours trying to make church a fun place of learning. For my dad who is the head of this family and strives to honor Christ in all areas of his life. For my brother who is trying to just pay the bills. For my niece who can't understand why she has to go to the doctor when her ears hurt. All these people have meant more to me than words can describe. And I felt very helpless this week as their needs have seemed exceptionally real to me. I wish I could be with them and solve everything.
But the truth is, even if I was there, I couldn't solve anything. I wouldn't be able to make those problems disappear. In fact I would just make things worse because I would be miserable. I know that right now I am in the middle of God's will, and if I was at home, I would be sinning, and if there is one thing I've learned from sharing a bathroom with 6 other girls, it is that everything you do or don't do affects everyone around you.
So, it would logically follow that I feel completely hopeless and desperately sad about the whole situation, and if I was depending at all on myself, I would. But praise God that He is my hope. And He loves my family much more than I ever could. And He has called me to love Him first. And He is the One who is taking care of everything. All I have to do is pray and obey.
And He doesn't leave me alone to go through this, but He has surrounded me with other believers who are my eternal family and are there to help me carry any burdens life throws my way.
My verses for this semester so far have been Matthew 10:37-39--

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I have come to see how this plays out in real life. And it's definitely worth it.

So the challenge: Who do you love most? If it's not God, that's the challenge.

An Inherited Blessing

So, many of you have asked me to share more pictures, so I have posted several on my Facebook profile, and I have made a point of taking at least one each day. I started with the picture of me dancing in bright colors because, as I see it, that was definately a highlight of the week, but as I have in the past, I will continue with my day-to-day exposition of God's work in me, here, in Lima.
This is a sight I didn't expect to see, but after a day of studying Matthew, I walked outside and saw Tim climbing into his room. I was pretty concerned for his safety, at the point the picture was taken. However, knowing there was little to be done to help him, I could not miss this photo oportunity.
Tuesday was a fairly uneventful day. I was an uneventful day. I actually did basically nothing most of the day because I was not feeling well. But on Tuesday night I finished a video I made for my sister-in-law, Stephani. It was her birthday on Wednesday, and I just wanted to make sure she knew that I love her and I think about her often.

This picture is of me and my good friend Bailey. She sleeps in the room adjoining mine. And I love her! She is the same age as me, but on her third semester here. After Bible College she will probably go back to the university and finish her business degree. She works in the coffee shop for her M1 (which is basically a required chore that we have to do for credit). Wednesday was a crazy busy day, but I did manage to finish my Genesis Chuck Tracks! It was a good day of God teaching me the importance of character over the desire for knowledge. While it is good to study God's word, study is pointless without application.

This is the sign over the door in the front of our classroom. This sign stares at me all day long, and sometimes I find myself staring back. Usually I just find myself thinking about Finding Nemo, but lately it has taken on new meaning to me. It reminds me of what I wrote in my last update: God always provides an escape from temptation. So now, I am seeing that more and more, and I pray for God to keep showing me that whenever I see that sign over my classroom door. (And sometimes I still think about Finding Nemo and try not to laugh.) Also, on Thursday, I went tree climbing in the park, but we all forgot to bring our cameras.
And now, the day you have all been thinking about since you stumbled across my page. Or maybe you know me well enough not to be surprised by the crazy picture at the beginning of this post. Either way, I am here to let you know that I was a finalist in the Day of Colors Contest. We all dressed in the most colorful outfits we could comprise, and mine was in the top three. Then we had a dance off, and I, of course, lost. But Carlos had an awesome outfit, and an equally awesome show. This was a fun and relaxing time. Just what we all needed after a few weeks of intense study. I love it here!

On that note, let me end my week. I had more fun yesterday at the orphanage, and then did some dishes and talked to my family. Traci, my friend from AZ, is returning to the Grand Canyon State tonight, and so we went out last night.

Since I have been here, I see how God is changing me into His image. It is a slow process, and the more He changes me, the more I am able to see how much there is still left to change. I am excited to share this whole experience with all of my dear friends in the US, and with my new friends here. I know that God is preparing me for something new and exciting. I am pretty sure that I will be home in two years starting work on a brand new ministry, but I see more each day that God is teaching me things here I would never have learned at home. I am learning through living with strangers and a lack of freedom the importance of loving others and depending on God. All this is changing me a little at a time into the servant God needs to serve the people I love so much back home. I need this time of training to prepare me for the ministry I want so badly to jump into right now. I pray that God will bring me back to you a woman after His heart who can be used to serve His people. And I challenge you all to pray that He would bless you with the same.

It's so COOOOLLLDDDD here!

By the grace of God, there go I.

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."
This sounds like It could be the line of a great song... one that I would love to write, but it's not. It's the inspired word of God through His servant Paul to the church in Corinth. (1 Cor 10:12) And it's what God was telling me last week, and this week. That I need to watch myself. Watch my actions, my words, my thoughts, my heart. I am here to draw close to God, and to share Him with the world, but that won't happen if I think I have it figured out already. I didn't even realize that I was about to fall.
So, let me share some of my week with you. Sundays here are always amazing. But last Sunday, there was an especially amazing concert at the church... Awesome!
The rest of my free time was mostly spent reading Fox's Book of Martyrs, which I totally recommend to someone who has countless hours of free time and a stomach for unmentionable torture to those who bravely and proudly bore the name of Christ. And, thankfully, all the reading and studying paid off with an 'A' in Church History.
On Wednesday night, I talked with my dear little niece... She gave my teachers and roommates nicknames which I will never forget. But otherwise my week was rather uneventful until Friday.
I guess we all just decided that it was time to celebrate the end of Church History. I went shopping with Ivy, our Dean of Women. And bought some gummy worms and tape. Then I went to "the cliffs" with a bunch of other students. Basically, it's a really high cliff above the highway where you can see the ocean. It's pretty cool.
Then, on Saturday, I just had a bad day, from the moment I woke up, everything seemed to bother me. I am not sure why. Then, lunch was late. This was an issue not only because I was hungry but because Saturday is the day most of us have afternoon ministries right after lunch. So those of us with Saturday dishes want lunch to be on time so we can go on ministry.... Needless to say, I was less than thrilled with the situation. Not to mention, we are short two hands in the kitchen because one student went home, and the other person helping me was terribly ill and should have been in bed. So I walked by myself, an hour late, to an orphanage I had never been to with less than perfect directions... But I made it. Then, we were kicked out early, only to be informed that mornings really are more ideal. So, next Saturday, will be better! :)
All this to show you that this week, I was tempted to complain, to judge others, to hate, to ask Why?, to give up and give in. And many times I did one or another of theses. I am NOT perfect. But thanks be to God that He does not expect Perfection. In fact, David in Psalm 26 claims to have lived a life blameless before God, and we know He sinned. So what is this blameless life? According to this Psalm, it is to trust in the Lord "without wavering", to "walk continually" in His truth. And David pleaded that God would be merciful and redeem Him on behalf of His blamelessness.
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." If we have a relationship with God, and offer ourselves to Him, we are made blameless in Him. And through that blamelessness, we can plead for redemption. We can confess and restore that blamelessness each time we sin.
But even in this blameless state, we must be careful not to think we have somehow "arrived" at perfection. That we have excelled in this process we call "Christianity". But we must be on guard and look for a way out when we are tempted. Because in the next verse, Paul also says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Do not be fulled, there is always an escape for sin, and there are always open arms waiting to forgive you when you fail to access that escape.
So, now, I will end this week's entry with a prayer and a challenge.
The challenge is for you to seek the escape, and be open to confession in order to live that blameless life.

Dear Lord, Please break me so I am worthless in the eyes of man. Then, build me up with Your Word, fill me with Your Spirit, and bind me with Your love. Hold me close to You to You so that I am surrounded by Your presence. Then, teach me to be like You, as I go before man. Do this so they may glorify You. In all this help me to love the way I can't and the way I don't want to. To even love those whom the world expects me to hate. Thank you for choosing me, unworthy and ugly as I am in comparison to Your holy perfection. I love You because You have shown me what love is. Thank You for shoeing me Your delight in me. Use me, Lord. Here I am. Use me.