Sunday, May 2, 2010

Are you ok?

There is something I like to say when my emotions seem to be overwhelming me. "Why did God make emotions so big and people so small?" Everyone has those days, or sometimes weeks, or months, when you hear the question, "Are you ok?" and want to say, "No! I'm not ok. I feel like screaming right now. I am dying inside." But instead you say, "Yeah, I'm great." Then you force a smile, and remind yourself that you have to work hard to make everyone believe you if you want them to think you are alright. But, I personally, try to avoid that. Not by walking around weeping and wailing, but by being honest if I'm not ok. And also, by rejoicing in the Lord despite my circumstances. I think it is possible to do both.
This has been a tough semester, and I have not been happy through a lot of stuff in my life, but I do have joy. It's not always the case, but for the most part, I am learning to rejoice. When my family moves and gives my cat away, when I go to breakfast and there is no coffee, when I get housekeeping because I forget to line up my shoes, when I miss my family on Skype yet again, or when close friends are struggling with serious illness, I can rejoice. I can be sobbing and crying out to God, sad, heartbroken, and full of joy. Why? Because I know that my God is in control. I know that my emotions will pass, and so will my situation, and my God will still be there. In control, working things out for my good.
I know many Christians who condemn others for being sad, or confused or angry because of bad things that have happened in their lives, in fact, many have tried to convict me of such "sins", but I do not believe God wants us to deny emotions of sadness, confusion, or anger, but instead wants us to be wise in how we act on them. If I am sad, I should poor out my heart to my God, and ask for His comforting arms to hold me. If I am angry, I should rest in the knowledge that God is just, and not allow my anger to turn to bitterness or hatred. If I am confused, I should present my questions to God and ask Him for wisdom and accept that He has a plan and a purpose for my life that I may not understand this side of Heaven.
It is ok to be sad, but we should not be without hope. It is ok to be angry, but we should not be without love. It is ok to be confused, but we should not be without faith. God has given us all we need for life and godliness. He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit. We have an eternal future, and a living Hope. This life is fleeting, and so are all the emotions it brings with it. So we cannot let them control us. We need to live in light of eternity, not in light of today.
That has been hard for me this week, since it seems emotions are heightened when decisions need to be made. But my challenge this week is to not let my emotions lead me, but to lead my emotions as I follow God.
Paul the apostle continuously reminded the Philipians to rejoice. He wanted them to remember that they were able to "do all things through Christ" and to keep their focus on the things of God. But Paul was confused, and even discouraged at times. That is not a sin. The sin is when we allow those emotions to direct our actions instead of trusting God to take care of us.
So, I challenge you as well, trust in God, and do not be ruled by your emotions... even if you are not ok. Remember, God is great.

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