Hey there bloggers. (This may post twice. I am emailing this as a test to see if I can post via email. This way, even if blogger doesn't work, I will be able to post from anywhere!!!) I wanted to say I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have had a crazy month. I was so busy preparing for my trip, and working. Then, I have been sick and well, it really doesn't matter.
So, what you really want to know is where I am on this journey with my Prince. Well, so far, I have been on this roller coaster of emotions. I am sometimes excited, sometimes terrified, and mostly just ready to go. I want to squeal in the anticipation of what I will meet on the road ahead, and cry at the sad thought of what I am leaving behind. Today was the emotional climax (so far).
In all my life, I have become very close to few people. There are four families I can think of in California (I am still in touch with them all), but most live here in the Pheonix area. I am leaving behind my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, two sisters and my parents. I am leaving behind the comforting power of my purring kitties. I am leaving behind two great church families who have come to mean more than words can testify. I am leaving behind children who I have watched grow for years. I am leaving behind two of my three closest friends, and a college group that better exemplifies the church of Acts than any congregation I have previously been part of.
But all of this is not in vain. And I say this with confidence for many reasons.
First of all, because all of you have surrounded me with love and support. Because I am following the prayers of righteous men. I am being held up in prayer like Moses. I am going with the support, not only of the people I love, but of people who love my Lord.
Secondly, I am not really leaving forever. Since I first felt called to ministry I have learned a lot about the life style of the missionary and my previous misconceptions have slowly been torn away. I want you to know that even though I call Sacramento my home town, I have learned it is not my home. Niether, though, is AZ. And niether is Peru. I am merely a visitor on this planet, and I find "home" in the company of my family, the Body of Christ. You are all my home. And one day, we will be at home together. And we will laugh at the idea of seperation, because our temporal lives will seem as only a moment.
Third, I am not alone on this journey. I go to do the work the Lord has already prepared in advance for me. I know He will be with me, and that I will always have have His Holy Comfortor, even when I feel lonely. I will not go anywhere He has not been or He has not allowed me to go. I feel confident in His calling on my life. Which leads to my final point.
I do not leave in vain, for this is a work of eternal reward. I am doing this for my God, and this is a step to show that this is not my life. I know that now. I can say that with conviction. I still try to claim it sometimes, but this life is His: I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know where I will be in ten years, five years or even a year from now, and the part of me that packed two weeks early absolutely can't stand that. And everytime, I see the face of my niece, I ask God why. But I am learning to constently empty that "me" out and replace it with the Word of God, which tells me not to even worry about tomorrow. The Word tells me that even to be hated by my family would be a blessing if it was for the glory of God, and I am much more blessed than that.
Thank you too all who have helped me get this far in my life and ministry. I love you and am more greatful than you could know this side of eternity.
My challenge: Ask yourself, and God, what you should leave behind for His sake?
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