Psalm51

Its been to long since my last post. And there is really no excuse for mylac lack of consistency. Except maybe to say that in order to write something really worth your time I find I must first do some real soul-searching self examination. That can be painful and ugly. And when tye results of such an exam are published it is alsi embarassing. Yet I feel as if perhaps by sharing my embarrassment I might comfort or encourage someone who feels the same way. And I find that I am blessed in the knowledge that I am nit alone in my struggles. so here it is. My self.I hope you can learn from me more than I seem to. This past few months I have found that I am very critical of people in my life that I know God has specifically called my to minister to. I find myself complaining and whining when I don't get time for the selfish things that consume large periods of time. I have repented of the sin as I see it. But I realize it is a trap I fall in too easily. This week I had a revelation as to why.I sonehow forgot that this life is not about me. Abd ministry is not about me. And jts really nit about those people either. Its about God. When I sin, I may suffer, but I don't sib against myselfs.And if others suffer I should asj for their forgiveness, but I am not really sinning against them either. I sin against God. So in the midst of my selfishness I have committed crimes against a holy God. I have not only put muself first. I have put Him last. Wheb King David killed Uriah because he had impregnated his wife, God sent Nathan to reveal David's sin to him. Distraught over his sin David cried out to Go in the 51st Psalm. Ge not only admitted his sin and need for forgiveness, but alsi recognized the neccesity of honesty. We need to be honest with ourselves and with God if we are going to accomplish His will in our lives. He will do the work of changing us but wr must be trule willing to be changed. That is my desire. I am planning to do great things by the power of the Holy Spirit. But I must be focused on God and put Him first if He is going to use me. Today I can honestly say that I am ready for that. But it will taje a continual glancing into the Mirror of the Word if I am to stay ready.

Big Love

"The LORD did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any of the peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but because the LORD loved you and kept the oath which He swore to your forefathers, the LORD brought you out by a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. - (Deu 7:7-8 NASB)

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. - (1Jo 3:1 NIV)

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - (Rom 5:8 NKJV)

Something a fb friend posted got me thinking a lot about the love of God. And I realized something. Or rather, I remembered something that I have known for awhile and came to appreciate it greater. God's love is GREAT!

But for us to understand how great the love of God is, we must first understand our own desperation. The Bible is very clear that before a person comes to know God the Father personally through faith in Christ, that person is headed straight towards Hell. And the Bible is also clear that Hell is a real, literal, eternal destination. At least as far as I can tell. (I hate to say this because I know many people are offended by this truth. I know it saddens me beyond the point of expression to think that those around me are going to Hell, that some I love dearly have already made up their mind for it. But keep reading, it gets better.)

I, too, was headed on a path straight towards that horrible, nightmarish land of unending torment when a miracle happened. God got a hold of me. I don't understand how or why, but I know it is only possible because of His LOVE. I was everything opposite of everything He stands for. I was His enemy. My best effort was no better than sewage. But He loved me.

In His love for me, Jesus died on the cross. In His love for me, 2000 years after His resurrection, He reached down from Heaven and showed me that love. As I reached out in faith for Him and His love, He gave it freely and completely. That was it, and now, I am His beloved child.

Some ask why, if God loves us, He created Hell. The truth: He didn't create it for us, but for Satan and his demonic angels.

More ask why, if God loves us, He sends people to hell. The truth: It's our own choice. God will not force anyone to be with Him if they want to live outside His will. Eternity in Heaven with God, is eternity submitted completely to Him and His will. And there is no place I'd rather be, but many would rather live for themselves.

Others ask why, if God loves us, He gave us the freedom to choose sin. The truth: I don't know for sure, but I think it is because He wants us to love Him unrestrained. To love Him because we choose to. To love like He loves.

Many people, I know are angered when things like this are thrown out there. They feel that people who believe these things are close-minded, self-righteous haters who would condemn the world around them. But I just want you to know, I am sharing God's love the only way it makes any sense to me: in light of my own desperation. It wouldn't be salvation if I was not saved from something horrific.

I share this news, which I see as the Good News, because I love you all, and I want nothing more than to share eternity with you. To give you an opportunity to taste God's love and see for yourselves how good it is.

Corrie Ten Boom

So, I recently wrote a paper on Corrie Ten Boom, a Holocaust who was imprisoned for living out the gospel to God's chosen people. This is what I wrote for my "Personal Application" section of the paper:

            God is so good, but sometimes we forget that. I forget that whenever something happens that goes against what I thought was God’s plan. As I studied the life of Corrie ten Boom, I was reminded of something no Christian should forget: God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways. His thoughts are so far beyond my understanding, and His ways so much greater than anything I could accomplish.

            So, how is it that I can for a second question the will and work of my God? Yet, that is what I do whenever I look around me and think, This cannot be right. Nothing good can come from this.

            If anyone ever had a right to complain about their circumstances, it was Corrie ten Boom (besides, of course, our Savior, and maybe Paul, the Apostle). She watched the man she loved marry another woman, while she lived the life of a spinster. She watched her mother suffer through paralysis before dying slowly. She was torn from her home for helping God’s people who were being persecuted by a hate-filled world system.

            Then, she was put in one of the most horrific living situations imaginable, and there watched her beloved sister waste away before her very eyes. Her father and her brother both died as a result of ill-treatment. And her life was never the same. But her response was to do exactly what God had called her to do: to love, to forgive, to rejoice.

            How often I am upset because I don’t get the job I want, or I can’t afford a car. I am dissatisfied with the timing of my education, or the living situation I found myself in. But I know, like Corrie and her family, I am doing what God has called me to do. I am living a life of service to Him. And sometimes I think that means I am entitled to something… better. But the truth is, in this world, we will face persecution. That is a promise. But with it comes another promise: the Holy Spirit.

            Corrie ten Boom was right. God never asks us to do anything without giving us the power to accomplish it. And He gives it to us just when we need it. Not early. Not late. At the perfect time. He is faithful, and that is what allows us to be faithful.

                Her life is a great reminder of how we are to live. No matter what life brings our way, we need to live in surrender to the Lord of life.

Costa Rica Letter

Dear Friends and Family,

For the last two years I have served as a small group leader in the youth group at my church, Calvary Chapel Surprise.  As much as I enjoy spending time with these teens, it has been my desire to share God alongside them in another country as I was able to do with so many groups while in Peru. Recently I was asked to be one of four adult leaders accompanying a group of teens on a trip to Costa Rica. This was a great answer to my prayer.

We will leave Surprise, Arizona for Heredia, Costa Rica on July 24 and return on August 2. During our time there, we will be ministering in support of the church and missionaries already serving in Heredia. We will be performing dramas, sharing testimonies, and street witnessing. We are also prepared for a number of special projects that we may be asked to do including Vacation Bible School and painting a building for the church.

As a youth leader, I am hoping to play more of a supporting role on this trip, and ask for your prayer as I take on this new role. I hope to be a good example and source of encouragement for these teens, many of whom are traveling out of the United States for the first time. Please pray that God would show me the best way to minister to the young men and ladies of my team.

Over the last few weeks, we have begun to raise the funds needed for the 13 of us to go on this trip. Each of us has a personal goal of $1,300 to be raised, a large chunk of which will go towards our plane tickets. The rest will provide for food, room and board, and ministry supplies. Many of you have supported me in the past as I went to Ethiopia and Peru. I want to thank all of you who have supported me with prayer, encouragement and all forms of support throughout my journey. God has used each of you to reach the people in each of these places.

Today, I am asking that you pray about supporting our team as we travel to Costa Rica. Any amount of money would be a great blessing, and prayer is the biggest blessing of all. In the past, I have learned that God will supply for all my needs, and more. And I have no doubt that He will provide for this trip as well. Please pray about what part you might play in supporting us on this trip.

If you would like to learn more about our team, the trip or upcoming fundraisers, please visit our facebook page (@CCS Costa Rica 2012) or our read our blog (http://ccsurprisecostarica.blogspot.com/). If you have any additional questions, please let me know.

If you would like to support me and the team financially, please make you check payable to Calvary Chapel Surprise with “Costa Rica” in the memo section. Please contact me for my address.

Any funds that I raise beyond my personal goal will go into the group fund in order to assure that every team member is able to go on the trip.

God bless,

Rachael Hicks

The Tunnel

There's a particular tunnel in PHX that goes on for quite awhile. It's downtown on the 10 between 7th and 7th, and as your reading this, if you have traveled in this tunnel you likely will not need any of my authorly help in picturing it in your mind. It is long, and dark, lighted with those small round lights that seem mostly to remind you of how dark it is. As a teenager, I went on a few field trips that took us on buses through this large tunnel. And, as the superstitious theatre enthusiasts they are, my friends tried their hardest to practice their breath control by holding their breath the entire way.
I usually just laughed at them, enjoying the extra oxygen for the few long minutes while they looked near expiration.
(There are other tunnels that I have been through that are similar, so I have no doubt that if you are reading this in another part of the world, you can relate to my local tunnel. I can think of one along my family's usual route from Sacto to Frisco.)
As I travel through tunnels, whether or not I am holding my breath, I find there is some great relief in the moment when the light at the end engulfs me and I re-enter the world outside. It is that same feeling of tunnel-escaping relief that overcame me on my 23rd birthday.
As most even shortly acquainted with me know, over a year ago, I returned from my excursion to Peru, full of hope and anticipation for what was next in my life. This was followed by a roller coaster of depression and frustration as I waited for some kind of direction to be revealed. I don't know if I expected lightening to strike, or to go to the mailbox and receive a missive written on stone tablets, but I didn't expect to be on my 6th semester of Bible College with a trail of part-time jobs in my wake as I stared at my still undecided, not-so-distant future.
During this period of my life, I have been faced with other various trials, and difficulties. I moved 3 times. I have said goodbye to some very special women who filled my childhood with fond memories and taught me the importance of family. And I watched as those close to me grieved for even more loss.
I have seen betrayal and insensitivity strike the lives of my church family. I have watched as others close to me have struggled with illness and financial hardship.
I was going through a long, dark tunnel, and I couldn't even see the end.
I found myself growing envious of joy experienced by those around me. Even those who I thought I loved more than myself. I found myself thinking, How can they be so happy while my family is suffering?  and Why does all this have to happen, now, to me? Why am I going through all this?
But guess what... I was wrong think that way. I couldn't see the end of the tunnel because I was looking in the wrong direction. I was so consumed with my lap, the little lights, and the entrance to to the tunnel, that I couldn't see the end.
Well, I am starting to emerge from that tunnel now, but there was something I think I needed to learn.
It was not strange that I had a rough year, though it was perhaps the roughest I've known. God warned me that I would face "Trials of all kinds." But I was selfish and self-righteous in my struggling, thinking I was the only one, and that I, somehow, was worthy of a better life.
I forgot that I should see it as an honor to be counted worthy to share in Christ's sufferings.
I hope that you understand that I am not sharing this with you so that you will feel bad for my hardships, because in the light outside the tunnel, I have realized they are no worse than most of yours. In fact, I almost didn't want to share this message that God put on my heart because I realize how petty and self-important I sound.
The point is this, if you are suffering, praise God because He is with you. He is faithful. And He will use this suffering, yes, even this for your good and His glory.
See the tunnel for what it is, and look forward to its end. Don't become obsessed with the lights or the other cars. Don't focus on what was left behind, outside the tunnel's entrance. Just know you will come out with greater patience and experience that will help you minister to others, if you are willing to submit the whole thing to God. And, who knows, maybe you can expand your lungs in the process.

If you don't have anything nice to say, examine your heart.

My nephew is sweet and loving most of the time. But he can be a terror as well. Just this morning, I put a cartoon on my computer for him, and when it was over, he howled like a dog for several minutes because I did not immediately start a new one. I was frustrated that despite the efforts of his parents, he is not content for even a moment if he does not get his way.

Without much thought I found myself saying, "I wish I could just throw a fit every time I don't get my way."

But if I was truly honest with myself, and you, my readers, I would have to admit that I also am quick to complain when things don't go my way. Whether it is waiting on something I want, or being disappointed in the actions of others, I love to complain, if not outwardly, than within myself.

I wish I could say, like Paul, that I have learned to be content, but I haven't. I am still learning. And my heart breaks over the ugliness of my sin. As I examine my heart, I realize that I have a long way to go in being like my Savior. He constantly reveals to me things that were previously hidden.

And then, as I repent, He restores me to the place I need to be. A place where I can serve and love God and others better. I can rest in His mercies and extend them to others.

My challenge, dear readers, is that this week, we come before God and ask Him to reveal our sin to us and to restore us in His mercy. Then, put that mercy on like a robe, and extend it to all those around you.

Those who are hurting, and those who are condemned, they need to see God's mercy in His people. I know I do, and I am blessed to know as many merciful people as I do. :)

Spiritual Luxury

"80% of the world's people never own a Bible." I am listening to K.P. Yohannan's book, Revolution in World Missions. And this nearly blew me away. Along with this fact were listed many others related to the amount of Christian media and other "spiritual luxuries" that are available to the affluent West. The contrast of struggling people around the world with our gold-leafed Christianity is almost sickening.
I must admit, I love Christian "stuff". I love the bookmarks with Scripture embossed on them, and the cute handbags with crosses, or the T-shirts with butterflies that speak of new life. I think all these things are great. They are wonderful, actually. They encourage and uplift believers and sometimes allow for a conversation starter with others. But there is point that needs to be made, taken in, and applied.
When I lived in Peru, I was attending a small Bible College with a small bilingual library. I understood that English books were hard to find, since I was in a Spanish-speaking country, but one thing that I always found strange was that, even though we had as many Spanish-speaking students as English-speaking students (more actually), there were twice as many English books as Spanish ones.
Ignorantly, I believed for awhile that this was because the Spanish students must have access to these books in country and therefore did not need them in the school library. But I was very wrong. Several members of the congregation poured over the volumes available for hours every week. This was the place where books were available to them. And most of the books had not come from a Spanish-speaking country, but were actually printed in the United States.
I once went to a Christian book store in Lima. The limited supply of books saddened me. One of my favorite hobbies is browsing the aisles of books, movies, cds and other Christian media. And once I have collected it, I then often forget what I have or don't have.
One of the greatest blessings from my time there was the opportunity I had to bless two of my friends with Spanish translations of books I love. And I so easily forget that.
There are so many people who have never owned a Bible. I have three in my room right now. So many people don't have the gospel. Yet, we spend so much energy entertaining ourselves and each other.
So, what's the challenge? I am not writing to cause you to go sell your spiritual paraphernalia or to feel guilty for owning it. I just share this  with hopes that God will remind you of how fortunate we are. And to ask you to search your heart and finances and see if you can't find more room there for God and the things He longs for.

Heart Guard on Trial

There's something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I wanted to share it. It is something God is really using to draw me closer to Him in a way I never expected.

Awhile ago, something very strange happened to me. All my friends started getting married. I recently took a look around and realized that all of my closest friends are married. Sometimes this is frustrating. Sometimes, although all my friends are great about including me, and they often try to plan group activities with other single friends, I feel like an outsider. I feel like there is a whole part of life that I just don't understand.

(The funny part is that I am still so young. And a big chunk of these friends are the same age. But that is not the point... So, I won't dwell on that.)

In the midst of this frustration and some self-doubt, God brought some words of encouragement to me in the form of a book: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris. If you think that I am took passive in my "love life", read this book, and it might help you understand my point of view. In the book, Harris shares his view of romance, which is very similar to mine. A few years ago, I read When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy, which expressed many of the same ideas.

What I love about these books most is that they showed me that I am not some freak for believing the way I do about relationships. Although I did gain insight from these authors, many of the convictions they shared in these books were ones I had already claimed as my own before cracking the binding.

I am not going to date. Period. I am going to be careful about how close I get with my male friends. I am not going to flirt, and swoon, and dress to impress just to get a guys attention. I will not be set up. I will not allow my friends, as much as I love them, to convince me that I am a freak because I am not looking for a boyfriend. I don't expect everyone to agree, or even to understand.

I look forward to being married as much as the next girl. I have imagined what it will be like to fall in love with a wonderful man who loves me. I have dreamed of the proposal, engagement and wedding, several times over. And I really do hope it happens sooner rather than later.

However, I am committed to letting God be in control of every aspect of that relationship, including the timing. I am certain that He has already written my love story, and He has given me all the patience and strength I need to live it out. I don't think God wants or needs anything from me except obedience. So, until I meet a man who I believe could be "the one", a man who shares my convictions, meets my standards and puts God first, I will be enjoying the blessing of being single.

The thing I get asked the most when discussing this topic is, "How are you going to meet that guy if you aren't putting yourself out there?"

To be honest, I don't know exactly how I will meet him. But I do know that God will bring him into my life. I am actively waiting for him. But I can almost guarantee that I haven't met him yet.

Another FAQ is, "How will you get to know him if you don't date?" Well, I will get to know him as a friend, around other people. Then, if both of us feel that God is bringing us together, the relationship will become romantic in nature. I would at that point consider going out on dates alone with him, within set boundaries.

Yes, my views are radical. No, it will not be easy. But I am convinced that it will be worth it.

I do not share this to say i have it all figured out, or even to say that God will only honor relationships/couples who follow this pattern. I merely wish to share what God has shown me, and to encourage anyone who is in the same situation.

If you are looking for a challenge, here it is: find a friend who is struggling to follow through with something God has convicted them of. Encourage them to keep faith. If you don't agree with that conviction, that's okay. Try to be understanding instead of mocking or condemning them. Edification is key among believers.

An Elephant Never Forgets

Let me start my saying that I do realize that I am very young. I have yet to experience a moment in which I felt "old". But I do realize, that as we age, we develop qualities that are rather unappealing to us. One such quality is forgetfulness. This is often the cause of many jokes.

My father is very forgetful. He can't remember what you said to him yesterday or what he is supposed to do today. We blame his age for this.

My 5-year-old niece, on the other hand, has the memory of an elephant. Not only can she remember her weekly word list or her memory verse, but she also can remember what her cousin was wearing to her 3rd birthday, or that last year you promised to take her to the zoo next time you were in town. It is dangerous to try to get her to forget by promising to speak of it later or to tell her that something will happen at a certain time or under certain conditions because she will likely remember what you said better than you do.

Memory is a funny thing. The more we use it, the more we can use it. The more you practice memorization, the easier it is to memorize. So why is it, that I can memorize whole plays and quote movies and songs, but so little of God's Word is hidden in my heart?
My only honest answer is that I spend more time with the words of the world than with the Living Word. Sure, I have more verses memorized than a lot of my friends, but that is because I learned them as a young child. In recent years, I have spent little effort on memorizing Scripture, despite my practices in memorization.
I am going to challenge myself to memorize some verses, and to start, I would like you each to share a verse with me that you plan to memorize. Are you up for the challenge?

Here's my first verse:

"As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the LORD is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him." - (Psa 18:30 NASB)

Spit on

Have you ever been spit on? Or slapped in the face? Or intentionally humiliated by another person? I remember one time when that happened to me. I was in seventh grade, and the one thing I wanted in life at the time was to make friends. There was a pretty popular girl at my school, and I didn't really know her, but she felt it was her duty to humiliate girls like me.

I was the type of girl who didn't really fit in. You know, acne, frizzy hair, glasses, cheap clothes, no sense of style, lanky, awkward, nerdy, walking around with a book. I was basically a target for bullying. And, on top of that, I was a sensitive, puberty stricken, 13-year-old who just wanted to be liked by the people who teased her.

Well, one day, it rained, so I wore the only jacket I owned: a snow jacket. It was big and puffy, white, and a little short in the sleeves. It had a blue fleece lining in the snap off hood. The jacket was obviously not as stylish as those of the other girls, and so, Miss Popularity decided to make it the object of a prank. At lunch time, she took a cup of peaches and poured it into the hood of my jacket. All my friends watched as she did it. No one said a word until we we done eating and headed out of the cafeteria. At that point, one of my friends stopped me just as I reached for my hood and told me what had the whole school laughing.

That was a serious low point in my life. At the time, I hated that girl. She had done something I found unthinkable, and honestly, evil. She had hurt me when I had never done anything to her.

But this week, I realized something about myself. I am no better than that girl. In some ways, I am worse. Praise God, I have never intentionally humiliated anyone, or targeted someone in order to bully them. But I have done much worse.

In my heart, and in the quiet leisurely hours of my life, I have rejected the One who only wants to be my friend. I have denied my Savior the love and honor He deserves in areas of my life. I have, in a way, spit on the face of the Man who died out of pure love for me. How easily, like Peter, I reject Him when it is convenient. How quickly, like David, I fall from a point of glory to one of shame.

It brought me to my knees in humble repentance, where I met the open arms of my Savior.

In light of all this, I come to a new revelation of the extent of God's love and grace. And in that, I experience a greater ability through Christ to love others.

A challenge now is posed to you, my dear reader. Search your heart and let God reveal to you a secret shame hidden there. Repent of that sin, and let God pour out His grace on you. Be ready for miracle. Be in awe. And then pass it on to those around you. Love them as you have been loved.

Serene Days, Blue Sky

This will be a short post. I just wanted to advertise a blog I think you will enjoy.

Serene Days, Blue Sky is a new blog, created by me. The Extra 'A' was created to tell the story of my spiritual journey. It talks about events in my life as they pertain to that, but I really wanted to start a blog that focused specifically on the everyday moments with my niece and nephew now that I am living with them.

I am excited to share it with you, but still keep the two separate. So, if you have time, stop by and take a look. I hope all my faithful followers will enjoy my new blog and keep reading this as well.

The Young Slave Girl's Uncut Hair

A small, scared young girl chained with others on a muddy platform waits in shame for the auction to begin. As prices are shouted out, the auctioneer jeers on the crowd with lewd suggestions of how the new owner might get his money's worth out of such a purchase. She turns her face in shame and embarrassment as the price, although significantly higher than it started, is still much lower than any human being would like to claim as their value. Then, out of nowhere, a man shouts a price, one that is so extreme that all the bidding men could live for a year without the slaves they had come intent to purchase. The man has offered to pay for all the slaves, and the auctioneer readily agrees. The slaves are handed over to the man, and he instantly removes their chains.

"You are mine, now," he says. "You can now choose to serve me, or go back to the platform and the chains."

Some of the slaves are terrified of what trick such a powerful man might try to play. Others think that he must have some alternative motive. But the small young girl looks into his eyes and sees the love that has moved him to such an action.

"I will serve you, Master," she declares in a voice stronger than one might expect. "I'm not strong, and I'm not too bright, but my life is yours. I will do whatever you ask."

In the weeks and months to come, all the slaves who had decided to serve the generous man had learned the depths of his love and care reached far beyond purchasing slaves and removing their chains. He fed them from his own table, and gave them rooms that rivaled his for comfort. He educated them, and spent quality time getting to know them individually. He sought to find tasks that suited their strengths an interests.

One day, the master of the house approached that brave young girl who had declared her loyalty. He asked her if she would be willing to do something very difficult for him. Since she had been released of her chains, she had grown out her hair. It was long and flowing, and very beautiful. Her master asked her to cut it.

Tears flowed freely down the girl's face. She didn't understand. "I thought you loved me," she said. "Why would you require something so difficult of me if you love me?"

The master's eyes were also full of tears as he responded. "It is because I love you that I ask this of you." But the girl didn't understand. And so she refused to cut her hair.

The next day, as the girl walked along the road, her hair was caught in a branch. As she worked to untangle it, she remember the master's words. But, still, she thought, a few uncomfortable moments is worth the beauty of my long locks. And so she continued to let her hair grow long.

A few months later, the girl reached her point of greatest beauty. Many suitors came seeking her hand. Never having received such attention, the young girl was easily impressed by them all. Unsure what to do, she sought advice from her master.

"You are free to choose," he told her. "Only remember what I have taught you, and that if you marry a man outside of my house, it will complicate your life greatly."

The girl knew that her master would be desperately disappointed if she chose a man outside his home, but among the suitors one man stood out. He found her lovely and told her so often. He was most impressed with her hair, and told her of how he dreamed of the life they would share.

In the end, she chose to marry him even though he lived outside her master's home.

She tried for a time to continue to serve her master while living in the home of her husband, but it became more and more difficult. Her husband was a slave in the home of a cruel master who tried to make her do terrible things for him. He beat her when she failed to please him and never even took the time to learn her name.

One day, the girl, now a woman, realized she had not seen her own master in a year's time. When she had asked her husband if she might return to her rightful owner for the day, he had grown cold to her, so she had stayed away much longer than she could have imagined. She thought back to the day her master had asked her to cut her hair and cried as she remembered his words, "It is because I love you that I ask this of you."

She now understood. He had been wise enough to see what the beauty of her tresses would lead to. The sacrifice would have been small in light of the pain she had faced. She never would have known what it had spared her. Her weeping was great in light of her foolishness. "Oh, Master, what have I done?"

The story of this slave girl is the story of many of us. I have been like the slave girl, choosing to do things my own way instead of the way of my Master. However, sometimes, I do make the right choice, and never see what my small sacrifice has spared me from. Today, I was reminded that my Master always has the best for me. I hope this story helps us all to see that.

It will not likely be physical beauty that God asks you to sacrifice. In the same way, it may not be that an unequally yoked relationship is what it leads to. But remember, any choice that leads us against God is the wrong one.

As one of my favorite teachers told me, "The only right of a slave is obedience." And if Christ is my Master, I am, by all logic, His slave. And what an honor that is.

The Waters of Belen

An image comes to mind whenever I think of how God sees sin. I am taken back to about a year ago when I had my first taste of the jungle. Iquitos, Peru is a city located right on the Amazon river, and at the river's edge, there is an area of town known as Belen. (I remember finding this name ironic since it is the Spanish translation of Bethlehem.) Belen is home to the poorest of Iquitos' occupants. It is literally on the river with houses that float. The delta-like area rises and falls each season with the river bringing the houses up with it. The water is the street, yard, playground, and common area of the community. It is also the sewer. Belen's water is filthy. It stinks. It literally made me gag the first time I went out on a boat from the pier to a home where we held a children's program. When I thought about all that went on in the water, my heart went out to the children who happily swam and played in the filth.

I think that must be how God feels toward us when we indulge in sin. He knows how filthy it is and how bad it is for us, and He is saddened that we choose to remain in it. Unlike the children of Belen, we have a choice. God has saved us and brought us into His "Boat". We don't need to remain in the filth of sin we were born into. When we choose to swim in it after our eyes have been opened to it's filth, we are like fools who would put on their nicest clothing and dive into sewage.

I find myself thinking of this a lot lately as God has confronted me about some areas of sin in my life. I am going through Romans, and I am being awakened to sins I didn't realize I committed. If I remain in them, I sadden God, because He has so much better for me than the sewer I was pulled from.

Tachael's Movin' In

So it's been about a month since my last post, and a lot has changed in my life. I am currently residing in CA with my brother and his family. I find myself looking for a job even as I am acting as nanny by choice. I am really enjoying it, even though it still feels like a vacation. It is like that whenever I move. It seems surreal for awhile, as if I may wake up the next morning and return to my previous home or way of life.

It is too early to miss anything of AZ yet, but I still miss Peru, and I know I will miss the rest of my family and my church soon. I am praying to get plugged in here soon, and discover why God has called me out here. I am sure He has something for me. He is so faithful and always comes through for me, often in ways I could never have planned or imagined.

I am already learning a lot about my niece and nephew. It is different when you live with children than when you visit them or they visit you. When you live with them, you have to set clear boundaries and expectations. You have to step back and let their parents be in charge without letting them think they can get away with murder when you are in charge. It's a fine line to walk, and I am praying to keep my balance so that I am not caught off guard by the 2- and 5-year-old who knock on my door at all times of day and night.

I love them so much, and I enjoy them more than I could say, so I am praying that we can find a way to live at peace without them being spoiled. :)

On being an adult.

I am now 22 years old. I feel as if this is a significant marker. Maybe I should have felt this way at 21, or 18. But I didn't. I suddenly find myself looking at my immediate future with a practical eye. Before, I often took on the far away future with plans and dreams. But now I realize, maybe because of maturity, or simply because my life has faced one change after another for the last two years, that I must make responsible adult decisions in order to be a responsible adult.

My family is going through a time of change right now, and that means my life is changing too, but I am reminded in such times how constant my God is.

The other day, I picked up my Bible and was going to turn to Romans, where I have been studying, but then decided to seek comfort in the book of Psalms. I read Psalm 86, not for the first time, but with new eyes. David's prayer became my own, as I imagined my spiritual battle, and remembered the attributes of God.

"(1) A Prayer of David. Incline Your ear, O LORD, and answer me; For I am afflicted and needy. (2) Preserve my soul, for I am a godly man; O You my God, save Your servant who trusts in You. (3) Be gracious to me, O Lord, For to You I cry all day long. (4) Make glad the soul of Your servant, For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. (5) For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You. (6) Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; And give heed to the voice of my supplications! (7) In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You, For You will answer me. (8) There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord, Nor are there any works like Yours. (9) All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord, And they shall glorify Your name. (10) For You are great and do wondrous deeds; You alone are God. (11) Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name. (12) I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever. (13) For Your lovingkindness toward me is great, And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol. (14) O God, arrogant men have risen up against me, And a band of violent men have sought my life, And they have not set You before them. (15) But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth. (16) Turn to me, and be gracious to me; Oh grant Your strength to Your servant, And save the son of Your handmaid. (17) Show me a sign for good, That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed, Because You, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me." - Psa 86:1-17 NASB

How amazing God is! And how quickly I forget. I was so stressed and confused about my situation, but this psalm brought me peace. It helped me remember that my plans are safe in the hands of the Lord, and that if my decision is to follow Him I cannot fail. I asked for "a sign for good" and He gave it to me. Now, I am moving in a new direction with my life, God as my guide. He has always come through for me, and I am choosing to trust in Him as I take each step in faith.

Lovely: Defined

So, I have so many things in my brain right now. Hopefully I can sort through them and share more in the months ahead. But right now I find that God is teaching me so much in one area of my life and I want to share that with you, my friends.

I was very excited when my friend Teddy told me about how the high school girls were studying the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians. Each girl was given a fruit to study. They looked up the word in the dictionary and then in their Bibles. They were also given the challenge of applying what God had taught them about the word and then sharing it with all the youth group girls. Each week for the past few months, a different girl has shared after church on Sunday.

KC, who leads the 7th grade girls' small group thought those girls and my 8th-graders should join the fun. I agreed. So we decided to pick some words for them to study. Our words came from Philippians chapter 4.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - (Phl 4:8 NASB)

Their words are: true, honorable, right, etc. We even picked some synonyms that are used in other translations. I have challenged my girls to find out what God has to say about their words for months now, almost forgetting that I chose a word of my own: lovely.

According to this verse, I should be dwelling on lovely things. I haven't ever really thought about what the word lovely means before, but I can tell you that I don't often dwell on lovely things as I should. Feeling convicted, but also ready to be done with my less than lovely thoughts and to live in the fullness of what God has for me, I started a journey this week to discover loveliness...

As I began my Sunday drive to church, I tried to think of my own definition of lovely. I think God's creation is lovely. I think that what God has done for me is lovely, saving me, blessing me with family and friends, protecting me from heart ache I have seen others experience, bringing me through tough times of my own. That is lovely. I also think that I know some very lovely people: my niece, my parents, my sisters, my friends from Bible College, the wives of my pastors. Lovely, inside and out.

I was not wrong in my assessment of the loveliness in my life. But I realized when I looked deeper that I had missed a lot. Webster defines lovely as "delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace". I like that. I am to think on things that God would define as "delightful for beauty, harmony or grace."

This led me back to Scripture. I have a long list of things that God sees as lovely. Things He delights in. I want to delight in these things and dwell on them. Here are just of few of those things:

God’s dwelling places (Ps 84:1); His name (Ps 135:3); The feet of him who brings good news (Is 52:7); The Son of Man (Ez 33:32); Wisdom’s crown (Pr 4:8-9); Timely advice (Prov25:11); Songs of thanksgiving (Is 51:3); Gifts God gives His people (Ez 16:11,12,16); Sacrifice (Ez 16:19); Music (Amos 5:23).

God sees me as lovely, also. I know this because He calls many of His servants lovely, and the Bible refers to many women as lovely. God even refers to His people as outwardly lovely while they are in sin. However, there is a contrast between that loveliness and the loveliness that delights Him.

The Bible talks plainly about this issue in the book of Proverbs. A lovely home is pointless if the mistress is contentious (Pr 21:9; 25:24), and a lovely woman who lacks indiscretion is like a ring of gold in a pig’s snout (Pr 11:22)… I don’t want that. I don't want to be contentious or indiscreet. I want to be lovely in all ways. And that starts by thinking on lovely things.

My challenge (I know it's been awhile since I challenge my blog readers or myself), this week my challenge is to find something lovely to dwell on. When your thoughts begin to stray into less than lovely areas, seek out the loveliness of God and allow His Spirit to transform your mind into one that delights the Lord because it is full of beauty, harmony with God, and His grace.

2010: It was fun, but I wouldn't do it again.

So, I failed the blogging thing. At least for awhile. I am not going to set goals, or try to make up for it... I am just going to update when I feel like it. With that said, let the blogging commence.

It's New Year's Eve, and I can hardly believe it. My sister and I were just trying to remember what we did on this day last year. Fail. We can't remember... but that's ok because today isn't about remembering last year's party, but about remembering the great things of 2010, good and bad, and looking forward to next year.

2010 was a crazy year for me. Half of it was spent in Peru... There I did many things I never imagined I would. I swam in the Amazon. I went sandboarding. I worked as a translator. It was crazy.

The other half was spent here, and "ordinary life" has been rather surreal. I have been doing other things I never imagined. I took Bible College classes online. I have helped in the youth group as a small group leader, and in the church office as a volunteer. I learn something new each week.

This year I have learned a lot.

I have learned what it means to be part of a family.

I have learned to let go of my dreams, and hold on to my faith.

I have learned to cook some, and that I am never going to be a chef.

I have learned to let my guard down, and to guard my heart.

I have learned that love comes in many forms, but the love of God surpasses any of them.

I have learned that joy is a choice, and must be chosen daily.

I have learned to make a bed perfectly, and the value of submission and humility over proper cleaning technique.

I have learned that I am more full of weakness than I thought possible, and more full of possibility than I could have dreamed.

I have learned that I can live in God's presence, and that my failure doesn't offend Him only sadden Him.

This year I have wept and laughed, made new friends and reconnected with old ones.

I gained family in a place far from home, and learned to be at home wherever my family is.

It was one of the hardest years of my life, but I thank God for His grace that brought me through.

Next year, I have one goal, to know God and love Him more.

That, and get a job... that is my current goal.

If I learn even a fraction as much as I did this year, it will be a good year.

Better late and Thankful, than early and... not Thankful.(?)

So, I didn't do the 30 days of Thanksgiving challenge that I usually do... But I was reminded to be thankful quite a bit in this month of Thanksgiving. I was especially thankful this month for my family. I love them entirely too much to just be thankful once a year, but this Thanksgiving was vary special, and I am so glad we got to share it.

Thanksgiving has always held a special place in my heart. I have memories from as early as 5 or 6 years old, enjoying a big family dinner at my Grammy's house with my mom's extended family. I loved everything about the holiday, even then. I love the food, the fact that all Christmas related activities seem to commence the next day. I love a lot of loud people all shoved into one house with the mixed smell of a burning pine log and a cooking turkey. I love the car ride through the streets lined by orange and red leaves.

When we moved to AZ and far from such things as trees and fall, and my extended family, Thanksgiving was kind of depressing for a few years. And last year, I was in another country, so it was very hard to be away from my family on Thanksgiving.

This year, however, was probably the best Thanksgiving I have ever had... and we celebrated on Saturday. My parents, all my siblings, and their families gathered at my brother's new home in Bakersfield. We stayed a few days and enjoyed food, fellowship and general Thanksgiving-ness. I held my niece and nephew close and explained why we celebrate this holiday. I told them how much they are loved and how thankful we are for them. I celebrated my family and was blown away by the faithfulness of God.

I love Thanksgiving.

We had an amazing meal, and an amazing time. I hope I never forget it. I think this was the first year I really celebrated Thanksgiving to the full extent.

I learned something this Saturday. Thanksgiving is not a day. It is an attitude of your heart. It is a conscious choice made to celebrate the blessings in your life. To feast and reflect and enjoy all that God has given. To be truly thankful. It is a special time set aside to do that and only that. I am glad it is such a big event annually so that we can make it so important and special, but we should really be full of thanksgiving each day.

So, today, I am thankful for the opportunity to share on this blog, and all that this blog has given back to me, through you, my readers.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters?

Who do you go to with your problems? A close friend? Your mom? A sister? A neighbor? Do you go to your pastor? To a counselor? To your spouse?

Today someone said something to me that hurt my feelings. I responded in kind. The conversation that had started innocently enough became a heated argument in short time. To quench the anger, I remember (a little too late) what I learned in a Bible Study about not talking when I am angry. So I ended the argument by leaving the conversation, not as nicely as I should have.

Then, I had a decision. What do I do with this anger? I turned to the closest person to me and began to spew all my justification for my anger. This wise and godly person did exactly the thing that anyone should in the situation; this person told me to shut up.

The truth is it wasn't that third party's business what happened between me and the second party. Counsel from my godly adviser was heeded, but I was still boiling over with hurt feelings and I just felt like I had to tell someone. I knew to tell anyone would be gossip and would likely only escalate my already raging emotional state.

Finally, I did what I should have done initially, way back before responding to the hurtful statement. I went to God.

I was reminded that my job as a Christian is to reflect God to the world around me. When people hurled insults on the Son of God, He responded by dieing for them. He literally laid Himself down for them as they killed Him. Knowing this, I should easily humble myself before a flippant comment.

So, I did the last thing I wanted to do in that situation. I swallowed my pride and apologized. Unfortunately, some damage was already done, and my pride wanted to keep rearing its head. But the situation slowly began to turn around. I still have a lot to learn, and I still have a lot of apologizing to do. But I think we are well on our way in the right direction.

So next time you are faced with an unkind word from a friend, or a bad situation at work, who will you turn to? You may eventually need to seek out advice from a godly person, like my adviser who told me to zip it, but first seek out the Counselor that has been sent to you. He has all wisdom and gives it freely to all who ask.

He is a great listener, and always has the right answer. He never lies, even when the truth isn't what we want to hear. He will comfort you, and then, humble you so you can be perfected.

It's a painful process, but the results are glorious.

Happy Birthday Brother Bear!

So, I should have posted this yesterday, but I was too depressed about the fact that I was missing yet another of my nephews birthdays. I am still a little sad about that, but I am choosing to accept that there is a lesson in all of this and that God has allowed this in order to accomplish something good in me.

But let me tell you the story of our little Sky-bear. He was born one Friday afternoon two years ago. I was away at a Women's Retreat with the ladies of Calvary Chapel Surprise. But instead of enjoying my time as a grape in our skits, I was worrying about my beloved Stephani and the baby that she had carried less than 8 months. I was wishing I could be bringing my brother coffee as he paced the waiting room, or reading books to my niece and teaching her to pray for her new brother. Logically, I knew that my presenc

e wouldn't help my nephews lungs develop, or help my sister-in-laws liver function. But somehow, I felt, if I could be there, they would be better. I could help. I could DO something.

That Sunday, as soon as I was back in town, I rushed home, packed an over-night bag and headed to the hospital to take care of the new mom while daddy went to work. I brought her water, and wheeled her down to the nursery. We laughed and tried not to worry about the fragile boy who was more connected than my laptop. I was allowed to change his diaper, allowing me more contact than my sisters or parents had been allowed so far, and in that moment, as his little read legs kicked and his little chest rose and fell with his gasping breaths, my heart melted.

Please save him, Lord, I prayed. I don't think I could live without him.

About two weeks later, Skyler James went home to a new house, two loving parents, and a doting three year old sister. His parents and doctors constantly monitored his breathing and heart rate. Every sneeze caused fear, and every cough brought panic. He had many doctor's visits, and again I prayed. Please keep him, Lord. We need this little boy.

By Thanksgiving, he was a mostly healthy baby boy. He had made it to his due date. He was breathing normally, and his monitors were no longer needed. By Christmas, he was gaining weight, and by the time I said goodbye in August of the next year, he was in the 90th percentile for non-premature babies.

Now, he's two. He's got a huge smile, and a personality to match. Every time I look into his big blue-green eyes, my heart melts all over again. And every time I hear his uproarious laugh, I am reminded of the miracle of his life. And I breathe a different prayer. Thank you, Lord, for this little boy. Thank you, for letting me be part of his life.

I am truly blessed to be part of this miracle. This is for you, Sky. Your Tee loves you.