Heart Guard on Trial

There's something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I wanted to share it. It is something God is really using to draw me closer to Him in a way I never expected.

Awhile ago, something very strange happened to me. All my friends started getting married. I recently took a look around and realized that all of my closest friends are married. Sometimes this is frustrating. Sometimes, although all my friends are great about including me, and they often try to plan group activities with other single friends, I feel like an outsider. I feel like there is a whole part of life that I just don't understand.

(The funny part is that I am still so young. And a big chunk of these friends are the same age. But that is not the point... So, I won't dwell on that.)

In the midst of this frustration and some self-doubt, God brought some words of encouragement to me in the form of a book: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris. If you think that I am took passive in my "love life", read this book, and it might help you understand my point of view. In the book, Harris shares his view of romance, which is very similar to mine. A few years ago, I read When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy, which expressed many of the same ideas.

What I love about these books most is that they showed me that I am not some freak for believing the way I do about relationships. Although I did gain insight from these authors, many of the convictions they shared in these books were ones I had already claimed as my own before cracking the binding.

I am not going to date. Period. I am going to be careful about how close I get with my male friends. I am not going to flirt, and swoon, and dress to impress just to get a guys attention. I will not be set up. I will not allow my friends, as much as I love them, to convince me that I am a freak because I am not looking for a boyfriend. I don't expect everyone to agree, or even to understand.

I look forward to being married as much as the next girl. I have imagined what it will be like to fall in love with a wonderful man who loves me. I have dreamed of the proposal, engagement and wedding, several times over. And I really do hope it happens sooner rather than later.

However, I am committed to letting God be in control of every aspect of that relationship, including the timing. I am certain that He has already written my love story, and He has given me all the patience and strength I need to live it out. I don't think God wants or needs anything from me except obedience. So, until I meet a man who I believe could be "the one", a man who shares my convictions, meets my standards and puts God first, I will be enjoying the blessing of being single.

The thing I get asked the most when discussing this topic is, "How are you going to meet that guy if you aren't putting yourself out there?"

To be honest, I don't know exactly how I will meet him. But I do know that God will bring him into my life. I am actively waiting for him. But I can almost guarantee that I haven't met him yet.

Another FAQ is, "How will you get to know him if you don't date?" Well, I will get to know him as a friend, around other people. Then, if both of us feel that God is bringing us together, the relationship will become romantic in nature. I would at that point consider going out on dates alone with him, within set boundaries.

Yes, my views are radical. No, it will not be easy. But I am convinced that it will be worth it.

I do not share this to say i have it all figured out, or even to say that God will only honor relationships/couples who follow this pattern. I merely wish to share what God has shown me, and to encourage anyone who is in the same situation.

If you are looking for a challenge, here it is: find a friend who is struggling to follow through with something God has convicted them of. Encourage them to keep faith. If you don't agree with that conviction, that's okay. Try to be understanding instead of mocking or condemning them. Edification is key among believers.