Because I love you, silly.

So I have not taken any blog worthy photos in awhile. So, I am unable to share my life via photos this week. I am not a photographer, I never have been. So, I sincerely apologize for all you visual people who need images to understand. I don't work that way.
Now, moving past that, I will start this week's blog by saying that I never in my 4 years in Arizona thought that I would for one second miss the wretched desert. But I do. I miss the warmth and the sunshine. (Although, I know you can't imagine this right now, I am sure this will sound lovely in about a month.) I miss my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephew. I miss my church. I miss my friends. I miss free coffee. Yes, I long to be physically with all the people who have made up my life as I made the most significant growth and transition. But I actually found myself thinking that Arizona itself, without these people, is not really that bad. As I write this, I feel as if I am betraying the land I once called home, and still remember fondly, Sacramento, and hope to go there and visit some of my oldest and best friends. But I have no desire to live in California anymore. And for the first time, when people ask where I am from, I answer, "Arizona". I still often feel the need to elaborate that I am originally from California, but I do claim Arizona, now, despite my own amazement at the very thought.
On that note, let me continue by sharing how God has moved in my life this week. This week was less eventful than others, and so I wish to summarize it all at once instead of day by day. I did much of the same. Studying, reading, listening to Chuck Smith explain the Bible. But most importantly, this week, my heart was heavy. I was a little sad, and homesick. I prayed a lot for my family. For my grandmother who is now in the hospital. For my sister-in-law who has been sick for about a year, and finally got a diagnosis of a faulty gallbladder, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. For my sister who is starting college and having a hard time making friends. For my other sister and her husband who have been struggling to find good work. For my nephew who is teething. For my mom who works so hard and spends hours trying to make church a fun place of learning. For my dad who is the head of this family and strives to honor Christ in all areas of his life. For my brother who is trying to just pay the bills. For my niece who can't understand why she has to go to the doctor when her ears hurt. All these people have meant more to me than words can describe. And I felt very helpless this week as their needs have seemed exceptionally real to me. I wish I could be with them and solve everything.
But the truth is, even if I was there, I couldn't solve anything. I wouldn't be able to make those problems disappear. In fact I would just make things worse because I would be miserable. I know that right now I am in the middle of God's will, and if I was at home, I would be sinning, and if there is one thing I've learned from sharing a bathroom with 6 other girls, it is that everything you do or don't do affects everyone around you.
So, it would logically follow that I feel completely hopeless and desperately sad about the whole situation, and if I was depending at all on myself, I would. But praise God that He is my hope. And He loves my family much more than I ever could. And He has called me to love Him first. And He is the One who is taking care of everything. All I have to do is pray and obey.
And He doesn't leave me alone to go through this, but He has surrounded me with other believers who are my eternal family and are there to help me carry any burdens life throws my way.
My verses for this semester so far have been Matthew 10:37-39--

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I have come to see how this plays out in real life. And it's definitely worth it.

So the challenge: Who do you love most? If it's not God, that's the challenge.