Counted Worthy

Christmas flew past, and the New Year is fast approaching. I can't believe how soon I will be headed back to Peru. I have not accomplished, yet, all the things on my to-do list, but I have been able to enjoy my family and friends. I have spent a lot of time catching up with my niece, and as always, she has taught me some valuable lessons by her simple childlike questions.
She has such a strong desire to please me, her parents, and God. I remind her over and over that God loves her and so do we. And that love is not dependent on her actions.
The truth of the matter is that I need to be reminded of this as often as she does. God loves me, not matter what I do.
Lately, I have been overcome by my unworthiness. I feel as though nothing I can do will make a difference. It's true. I am unworthy, and nothing I do, on my own, will amount to anything. But, as we studied in church this morning, I am a friend of God. He sees me in the light of Christ's righteousness. He is faithful, even when I am faithless.
In 2 Corinthians 5: 21, Paul talks about how, through His work on the cross, Christ has traded places with us. When we accept the grace of God, we take on the righteousness of Christ's life, just as He took on our sin that day.
This truth is overwhelming, and if this was all that the cross did, it would be enough. But that's not all. God's grace doesn't only save us and make us right with God, it gives us a part in the salvation of others.
God gives us Christ's righteousness so that He can abide in us and change us into Christ-like Christians. We have the opportunity to live out an abundant life through Christ in which He makes a difference and we get to be part of that difference in the world around us.
In Galatians, Paul tells us that after accepting Christ, He ceased to live for himself, but allowed Christ to live through him. This is the secret to making a difference for God's kingdom. And this is something we can only do when we realize that God has already made us righteous.
When we realize that God sees the perfection of Jesus when He looks at us, then, we can have the confidence to live in an attitude of humble righteousness like He did. He will change us into the men and women who can do the work He has planned in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
As much as I love my favorite 4-year-old, God loves me more. And though I may talk back, disobey, and throw tantrums once in awhile, His love is unfailing. And He still wishes to use me for His purposes here on this earth, and, as the disciples who we glad to suffer for Christ, I am so happy to be counted worthy of His name.

Christmas... and all that jazz.

So, I wrote a Christmas letter for the first time in my life! I really had a hard time convincing myself it was ok but I think I did a pretty good job. And I am going to mail it... hopefully tomorrow. ;) I have been a little behind schedule this season. But I would love to share it with all my blog buddies now. But first, let me add, that I have really been enjoying my time at home. I love this time of year, and I love my family and friends. I am so glad to share this time with you all.
And without further ado... the letter:

Dear Friends and Family,
This year has been one of excitement and new opportunities for me. I have learned so much as I have grown closer to my Lord. This Christmas, as I reflect on the year that has passed, I see how God has used each experience to grow me into a woman capable of fulfilling the call He has placed on my life.
In January I had the opportunity to travel out of the country for the first time on a mission trip to Ethiopia. I was blessed by the prayer and support from many people all over the USA. There, I was able to learn more about several ministries and what it takes to get a ministry started and keep it running. Although I have been on many mission trips within the States, there were lessons I still needed to learn before I was ready to live in another country.
After returning to Arizona, I applied for Bible College in Lima, Peru. About one week before my graduation from Estrella Mountain Community College, I received an acceptance letter and began preparing to move to Peru. I realized that my life was changing drastically. Since graduating from High School, I had worked to pay for my food, my gas, my books, everything except rent and tuition. Now, I was going to be living without an income. At one point I realized that the money I had previously earned and the money my parents had available was not enough to pay for my mid-semester mission trip to Cuzco. Knowing that God had called me to Peru, I was learning to trust that He would provide. I had ideas about how missionaries must raise money, but most of the support I received came from unexpected sponsors. And I was completely overcome with gratitude and humility by the way God’s people responded to my need.
Through that trip to Cuzco, many came to know the Lord, and many believers were encouraged in their ministry to the people in the Andes and the Urabumba Valley. It was a joy to be there for one week as God moved in the lives of so many. I am so glad I was able to be part of that.
Besides my short trip to Cuzco, I have been part of a local ministry in Lima ran by a wonderful woman from Switzerland named Doris. She takes in children whose parents cannot care for them and raises them in her home, which she calls “El Refugio” or “The Refuge”. Every Saturday, I go visit Doris and the kids with two other students. We play with them and teach them English. They have been such a blessing to me. It has really been an opportunity to put into practice what I learn in the classroom.
Now, I am home for the holidays, but I am planning to return to Peru. I have learned that God will supply for all my needs, and more. I want to thank all of you who have supported me with prayer, encouragement and all forms of support throughout my journey. God has used each of you to reach the people of Lima and the Urabumba Valley. I ask that you continue to remember me and the people of Peru throughout the New Year. I am blessed to know you all, and see how God has used you.

Merry Christmas,

Rachael Hicks

*If you are interested in supporting God's work through me in Lima, please let me know so I can give you more information or answer your questions. Email me at MissionaryHicks@gmail.com

Re-entry

So, I read this book for my missions class. It was called Serving as Senders. It was full of information for missionaries, and those who want to support them, about how to set up a support system. And in the book, as well as the class, there was a great emphasis on this idea that Mr. Pirolo calls "Re-entry". This is apparently the most stressful period for a missionary, and often is overlooked by those around them.
This is the period I am in now. I thought that the book and my instructors were exaggerating when they told us we would have culture shock when we went home. It didn't seem likely since I was a student here for four months that I would have changed so drastically. I mean, I love Peru, but I still want to eat hamburgers, and thank the Lord, we have sceptic systems in the US of A. And, I don't have to greet everyone in my church with a kiss. I was certain that I would be so thrilled to be home that I would not be able to go through separation anxiety.
Well, unfortunately, I was wrong, and reverse culture shock has crept in here and there in my life. However, I wanted to say thank you to all my friends and family who have made this shock easier to deal with. I must say that I feel extremely loved and blessed to have so many caring people in my life who have been genuinely concerned with both my semester in Peru and my return to the States.
This week, I have discovered a new weakness to boast in. And a new fondness for Arizona, the state that has slowly wooed me for the last several years. I love my family, biological and spiritual, that reside temporarily in this State while awaiting our permanent Home.

You say "Goodbye", I say "Hello"

I have been thinking about what I should write on this blog. I feel like the end of the semester should reflect on the beginning somehow and sort of sum up what I have learned and experienced. So, that's what I will try to do. But I also feel as though this is not the end of my time in Peru, but merely a vacation in the middle in which I will say goodbye once again to all my friends and family in the States. So, I want to share with you a piece of who I have become while here in Lima, and what I hope to continue in should my Bridegroom wait just a little longer.
When I came here, I had never been away from my parents or my baby sister (who is now 18) for more than a month. I had lived 20 years under the guidance and protection of two godly parents and their one set of rules. I was so accustomed to those rules, that I imagine I might have lived by them if I lived on my own. I was so used to their help, and I didn't even realize and appreciate how much they did for me.
Being here was really very difficult at first. I was living with several people who didn't come from the home of Doug and Tina Hicks. They didn't have the same ideas of "clean", "loud", or "appropriate". My roommates come form two different Latin American countries, and our communication was kinda slim in the first weeks.
After about a month, I found a real rhythm, and although I can't say the rest of my time was perfect, it was without any incident that would cause a rift in my relationships with my peers. I grew close with some of the girls who are in similar situations as me. I learned to love beyond language barriers and enjoy my replacement "sisters". My life is better than I dreamed it could be.
There are some things bout Peru that may never get used to or fully appreciate, like rice at every meal. There are some that I am not yet adjusted to, but have tried to embrace, like greeting others with a kiss. There are are some, that I have almost forgotten are not American and only realize when speaking to those who are not here, like Spanglish.
Peru has taken a place in my heart, but it has also grown my love for those back home. It is a place God used to break me from the world, but grow my love for the people of the world. I don't need my parents, my friends, my siblings, or my niece. But now I understand more what it means to love them like God. In being separated from them, God has made me depend on Him, and His love is the only love that allows me to see how much I was lacking.
When I came here, in many ways, I thought I had it together as a Christian. The first week crushed that, as I looked at the other students and felt I didn't measure up. The second week, I began to see they were just as humbled as me and we began, at that point, to grow together. They became a temporary family for me, and have encouraged my growth, sometimes unintentionally. That is what has made these last few days the hardest. Now it is time to say a farewell. Some of them I plan to see in a few months. Others I may never see again this side of heaven. There is a small fear inside me of continuing without them what we have began together. But I KNOW that my God is big enough. He brought me here, and He'll finish to completion the work He has began in me.
There is so much more I could share, but I think this is enough. Your challenge: Welcome me home with the realization that this will be an adjustment for me, but know that I have appreciated every moment you spent reading my blog and praying for me. Know that I love you all, and I often think of you fondly. You have brought a piece of our true Home to me, and I can't wait to see you all!

Gracias por arroz?

Ok, so this has been a crazy week! Thursday was Thanksgiving, and then last night there was a bridal shower for Michelle, the director's daughter. Tonight is the graduation ceremony. Plus, everyone is preparing to leave.
I must say, I have been reminded more than once that I need to trust in God and not worry,but the air of anxiety has made this a temptation for me.
On Thanksgiving, all the Peruvians got the impression that Thanksgiving is all about food. And, in their minds, not even good food. But the Americans were soooo excited for this delicious taste of home. There were a few of my mom's best dishes that I missed, but overall, the meal was well prepared and muy rico. :) The Peruvians even tolerated it, after piling rice high on top of their mashed potatoes and gravy (why?).
I asked one Peruvian why he had to ruin the perfectly good meal with his rice, and he said: For me, food without rice is not food. And although I respectfully disagree, he made me think.
For me, life without Christ is not life. Or, at least that is the correct perspective of life. When I try to live the life God has called me to without the power of His Spirit, it's a wasted effort. And the resulting life is not life at all. This was a valuable lesson that I needed to be reminded of this Thanksgiving, and so I am even thankful for the rice.

I kept up with 30 Days of Thanksgiving (ending on Thanksgiving) and I wanted to let you all know that I am especially thankful for all those who supported me in coming here, whether it was through finances, gifts, kind words, or, most importantly, PRAYER! I am eternally grateful. You have been a blessing in my life. And I know I have lacked in the area of expressing my gratitude. So, thank you.

30 Days of Thanksgiving:

1. School
2. My Bible
3. My parents
4. Food
5. Quiet Moments
6. Nature
7. Airplanes
8. Tomas the Lamb
9. Unexpected blessings
10. Candy and Bailey
11. Transportation (in various forms)
12. CoCo
13. Candy's Passport ;)
14. Shirley and Karina
15. US Military
16. Internet
17. Amy, Masa, and Stephanie R.
18. Becca, Leah and Stephani M.
19. Malinda H. and Mrs. Swinney
20. Girls I miss: Lauren, Coral, Nichol
21. Serene and Skyler
22. My Pastors
23. God's Consistency
24. 2 years of Community College
25. God choosing and using me
26. Calvary Chapel Lima
27. A good night's sleep
28. Martyrs
29. Christmas with Family
30. Jesus' sacrifice/my salvation

Instruments of Wickedness or Instruments of Righteousness?

Happy Sunday!
Today, I forgot myself, and almost forgot to post. That would be dreadful since I only have two more Sundays in Peru.
This week, I have been pretty busy with my 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus class (AKA Pastoral Epistles), and I have learned a lot. I have been to the beach a couple times also, and I have found time to enjoy the weather, now that it is FINALLY a little warmer. :)
On a deeper level, I have been distracted this week. Thoughts of so many things are flooding my head. Thankfully, I have so many encouragements to keep me praying. God has been teaching me a lot about myself, and I am exciting to see what is to come.
I never could have anticipated what this time in Peru would mean to me, and I am glad to be returning next semester.
I have found a new verse that I plan to memorize for the times when I am tempted to live for myself and fleshly desires:
"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness."
As a daughter of God, I have two options constantly before me with my thoughts, actions, and even emotions. I can offer them to God, as instruments of righteousness, or offer them to sin as instruments of wickedness. And when we don't offer them to God, this is sin. That may be hard to swallow, but it is a truth I am learning the hard way. I need to put God in the center of all I do if I desire to please Him in it.
So, please pray for me as I struggle to put aside my distractions and offer the parts of my body to God. My challenge is for you to spend some time allowing God to point out which parts of yourself you are offering to sin.
Have a great week friends!

More of You, Less of Me

2 Samuel 5:10
"And he became more and more powerful, because the LORD God Almighty was with him."
Acts 27:25
"So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as He told me."
As I lay in bed at night, I remember my walks on the beach, my phone calls with my family, and the Words that God has placed on my heart. I wake up praising Him, still in a state of disbelief that I have been living in a foreign country. I leave in 3 weeks, with the plan to return in February (this time for 1o months). I feel so.... blessed. But some nights I still fail to rest easy.
This week was my Missions class. It was a tough class. Most of it was about Spiritual Warfare, and that was intense. I realized that I need to pray more. The last day we talked about building a support team. I realize that this is something I need to do. I know there are many people who have provided me support, through prayer, exhortation, money, and other ways. And I appreciate it more than I can tell. However, since I plan to be in Peru for the next year and a half as a missionary/intern/student, I have realized that this is an area that I have not spent much time on. So, please pray for me as God and I work on this in my life.
I know that only through God can I become more powerful, like David. And I know, like Paul, that my God is faithful. He will keep His promises to me, and He will provide for me to do the work in the area He has guided me into. But sometimes my faith is so weak, so I pray that I will continue in the path He has set before me, and I thank God that He is faithful no matter what, and that His work is not dependant on my faithfulness, but on His.
If I sound weak, I am glad because I am certain that God is using me right now, and if you see my weakness, you will not be able to give credit to me. But let me tell you, I am so full of joy right now. And even amidst my anxiety of the looming money issues, I have a peace inside that I am learning to grab hold of and cling to in times of uncertainty.
I pray so often for many of you. I am so grateful to you for your encouragement, especially to Danielle and Linda who are always finding just the words I need to hear.
I am so happy to be returning for a couple months, and am excited to see how God will use the rest of my time in Peru to prepare me for the next step and to reach the people here.
I didn't share much about my trip last week because it is still processing, but please ask if you want to know more.
This week, I challenge you to surround yourself with godly people who can support you in the call of God on your life.
Please pray for me as I try to do the same.

Home?

So, this week was amazing. I went with five other students to Cuzco and we were expecting to stay in a hostal, and instead got to stay in a huge house with two rock walls and a pet sheep (who I adore). We were blessed to overflowing with extra funds which we passed on to our host, Coco, and his ministry. We were able to share the Nueva Buena with children and families all around the Cuzco area in several mountain villages.

Sunday morning, we headed to the airport with groggy faces and backpacks full of dirty clothes, and spirits full of fond memories. But our adventure was not over. Due to unforseen weather conditions and several events beyond our control, we got home (AKA Lima) more than 28 hours later than expected. I truely believed God had us there longer so we could be a witness during times of unexpected misfortune as well as blessing. It is so easy to be on fire for God when you have a comfy bed and clean clothes and extra food and a pet sheep. But take that away and give you an airport floor as a matress and it's not quite as easy.

I have been in Lima for about 3 months now, and I leave in a month. I have learned a lot here, but I have learned what words cannot express on my trip this past week.

My challenge to you is to look at all the ways God has been blessing you, and remember them, even when you are frustrated.

I meant to post more pictures soon.

Almost too Good to be True

Last night, I went to the Cliffs, which is a favorite hang out spot for the students here. It is a quiet grassy cliff area where you can see the beach and a point on the peir. It's beautiful, if a little smoggy, there, and it's one of the few ways you can escape from the noise of campus and the busy city of Lima.
There are millions of people here in Lima, and the trafic is never ending. There are about 70 people living on our tiny campus and more than 200 on campus most days between 8 am and 10 pm. The noise just doesn't stop. And I am easily disturbed by this.
I never thought of myself as an introvert. In fact, at home, I often sought a way out of the quiet so that I could enjoy the company of my friends and family. But here, I crave quiet. I crave a time where I will be uninterupted in a single prayer time, Bible study, phone call, or thought. I hate that from about 6:30 am until 11 pm I cannot find quiet. It practically kills me emotionally.
But last night, the last two months of noise floated away in about 15 minutes as I found an open spot a few yards away from my friends and spent some time with my beloved Jesus. We talked in a way that I have missed, and I was refreshed and filled with joy. It was almost too good to be true. And it was exactly what I needed. I pray and have a "quiet time" everyday, but I find it so hard to focus and just relax in the presence of my God with so many distractions around me. But last night, there were none. It was me, the grass, the ocean, the breeze and my Savior in glorious fellowship.
Tuesday, I am leaving for a mission trip to Cuzco. And I am not exactly physically finished preparing. and I am sure that I could use some more time with God. But last night was the best preparation I could have hoped for. And I am going to try and get more of it from now on.
I am challenging you, to find a place of quiet, and enjoy time without distractions. Without any noise. Without other people. Just you and God. This can be so difficult, but it is so rewarding!!!
I love you all and I have nothing else to share this week. Please pray for my team as we reach out to the people of Cuzco. God bless.

La Pan de Vida

I am sure that it is not a big deal in the eyes of most that I am "late" posting to my blog, but I am going a little crazy right now in my attempt to update all of you before 11pm Peru time. I have had a mostly normal week with a few curve balls. But this week was actually the most relaxing week so far. And it shouldn't have been, really, but God has given me such an overwhelming peace about life, so I know I can rest in Him.
Monday, we started Daniel class, which is muy chebere. (Let me apologize now for random Spanish which has begun to sneak into my everyday speech. I take t as a good sign.) I am learning a lot about the character of Daniel, but also of God especially in the way He works in the life of sinners. I am fascinated by the story of Nebuchadnezzar, and I am fairly certain I will meet him in that great day and understand so much more of his God-inspired story.
We leave a week from tomorrow for our mission trips and I am fairly certain my destination is Cuzco! Exciting. Hopefully I will get to see some awesome ruins while serving the new church plant there!
I thought I would share with all of you that I have slept through 3 meals this week. This makes perfect sense to anyone who knows me well or has seen me before 9:00am. As much as I love food, and I have accepted this fact since being here (especialmente la comida de Juanita, esta muy buena) I love sleep even more! I am learning to not be lazy or sluggish, but I know God understands the basic appreciation I get in fulfilling my natural human need for sleep. And I also don't really do mornings, but I have been. But I CANNOT wake up on my own. So, last Sunday, I slept until it was just about time to leave for church! I hurried and rushed and scurried and every other word that would apply, I did. I don't know that I focused much that morning, but I truly appreciated lunch that afternoon.
Then, the next day, I woke up, and like every weekday, I laid in bed waiting for someone to yell, "Diesiuna esta listo!" Pero, no! I heard it not. I fell back to sleep and woke up 30 min after breakfast and just 45 min before I needed to be in Devo's.
Today, I made it to breakfast, ate 2 bowels of the way-too-sweet cereal that is served here on Sunday (and now Saturday) mornings. Then, I had a sandwich at church and enjoyed Chifa (mi favorita) for lunch. After lunch cleanup, I fell asleep. I woke up when dinner was over and had no time to eat before church. So, I went to Metro (which is like a big grocery store... kinda like Fry's) and bought some panes and an ice cream bar. (A typical Rachael meal back home.) :)
There is a song one of the Spanish students wrote that we sing here a lot. I love it. Here is part of it:

Jesus, mi luz

Jesus, mi amor.

Eres el Pan de Vida

y la esparanza de mis dias.

Translated:

Jesus, my light

Jesus, my love

You are the Bread of Life

And the Hope for my days.

I really wanted to share this with you to show how much I have been encouraged this week that God is my provider. He will supply all I need. All the money I need for school and for missions. All the nourishment I need when I miss a meal. All the rest I need when I wake up early and don't get coffee. He is it. He is everything.
This knowledge encourages me to follow the path laid out for me, no matter how difficult, because I know He has taken care of all the needs that I have.
Isaiah 64:4 dice: "Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him."
If we wait on God, He will act on our behalf, just as He acted on behalf of Daniel and his friends while they were in captivity. Just as he acted on behalf of Nebuchadnezzar when he repented. Just as He acted on behalf of Stephen who saw heaven open up at the point of his greatest persecution. Just as He acted on behalf of every person who has ever turned to Him and received a Spirit of sonship. We now have the right to call Him, "Abba" which translated means, not "Father", although that is an appropriate name for God, but "Daddy" as a child in need, and in love with the one who provides for us. That is our God!
So, I have no challenge this week, just encouragement. I ask that you pray for my Spanish... It is getting better, but I am nervous about the trip next week. Thank you all for your continuous love and prayers. They mean more than I could explain in any language.

God is Bigger than Financial Aid

I happen to know that many people read this blog on a weekly basis, and for this reason, I am consistently searching my journal and my Bible to find something significant to share with you. And, being that I was at a Women's Retreat the past two days, I would have expected to have something to share. But I have come up short of what I would normally consider blog-worthy material. I am sure many of you are shocked that I consider what I write before randomly vomiting words from my brain through my fingers to the screen, but I do. It is actually very important to me, and I consider it the one ministry I have to give back to those of you who have supported me so much. And today, I sit here writing about the fact that I have nothing to write about, but that was true, until I admitted to myself that I know exactly what to write about.
I know that there is only one thought that has filled my mind and my journal for most of my time since I last blogged. (Is that really a verb, now?)
That thought this: Where is the money going to come from? You see, though I know God will provide for whatever He calls me to, I find myself still lost in my flesh of worrying. At times, I feel certain that I must in some way help God out. What foolishness, I know. I am sure Paul was speaking directly to me when he wrote Galatians 3:3, he would call me foolish if he knew me, I'm sure. But I am admitting this to you now. I lack faith in this. I wish I could tell you that was completely at peace with this, but I am not. In this moment, I struggle with myself to rip my worries away from the old Rachael and hand them to my Heavenly Father. Indeed, Thursday, I was jumping with joy at the reassurance of God's desire to use me and my part in that, and last night, I was relaxing in the peace of His goodness (the theme of our retreat). But this is a daily struggle. I am constantly faced with the reality of a life without a paying job. But a life that God has called me to. And I cannot see past the moments where the money is gone.
I feel fairly convinced that this is my first glimpse into missionary life. As I go farther, there will probably be times where there is not even money to get me home, or to pay for the next meal. I so easily stumble in to thoughts of what could have been my future if I just transferred to ASU instead of coming here. Fortunately, I have learned so much already, and I would not exchange it for all the money in the world. And as much as I love the life God has given me and the future He has promised me, I am terrified of it. This a daily walk I have with my God, and I know He is big enough, but sometimes, I lose sight of that.
My prayer is that God would give me clarity of mind so that my fears and worries do not prevent me from making wise decisions about where to God next, and that I will hear His voice when He speaks to me.
I understand that I will play a part in fundraising, which I dread. My pride hates when I admit that I need help. And I know how it feels to be asked for money. I don't want to do it, but unfortunately, it is something most missionaries have to do.
Coupling this hatred of fundraising with my uncertain financial situation, next summer, and next school year seem completely hopeless. But that is why I am so happy that my Hope is not in this world. My hope is not in my own plans for the future. Or the money it will take for my dreams to be accomplished. My Hope is Christ. And I can do anything through the strength I have in Him.
The same is true for you. I know that the economic situation is getting worse for you. I am losing money every day that I don't exchange as I watch the dollar drop before my eyes, and I know that you are living in the home of that dollar. I am praying for so many friends and family members of myself and other students who are looking for work. And I wish I could be at home to work myself and support my parents instead of getting so much from them.
Here is my Scripture for you that I read this week. Proverbs 30:7-9 "Two things I ask of You, Oh LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown You and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal and so dishonor the name of God." I hope that I can say those words and mean it for as long as I live.
My challenge to you is the same that I face: trust that your God is big enough. He has endless resources, and He holds back no good thing. He will take care of you (and I am preaching to myself here) and He loves you.
Psalm 63:3 "Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You."
Please pray for me, as I begin planning for next semester. I have some tough decisions to make about how long I will be staying, and new visa laws are causing me to consider applying for residency. All the students here are making similar decisions. Some are still not sure if they are returning to Peru, or even if they will be headed home for Christmas.
1 Samuel 12:23 "As fro me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right."
Until next week, Adios.

Happy Birthday Sky-Bear

Hola mis amigos y amigas de Blogger y Facebook. Hoy es de tiempo para yo escribo ustedes. Estoy muy feliz hoy porque yo puedo ver el sol y el cielo azul. :)

Ok, that was just proof that I am learning to speak some Spanish. I have made not of several verses I wanted to share with you this week, and I will share some with you, but this weekend I am particularly aware of the fragility of life.

One year ago yesterday, I was headed to a Women's Retreat with the ladies for my church and I was very distracted because my brother's wife, my dear Stephani, was in labor. The baby was coming several weeks early to his detriment. And she was ill with a rare liver condition. An emergency C-Section was performed that evening, and the baby was immediately placed in the NICU. I was a few hours drive away and feeling like I might as well be on the other side of the world. I felt helpless. I felt torn. I didn't understand why that weekend had to be the weekend that my family would go through such a time of uncertainty and I would have to miss the birth of my nephew, Skyler.

There is more to the story of how God used that weekend to get me here. But the most important thing, the reason I am sharing this with you, is that God taught me that I must depend only on Him. I must learn that I am never in more control of a situation just because I am closer to it physically. I need to learn to leave my struggles with Him, the Only Capable One. After teaching me this lesson, God blessed me with allowing me to see my nephew that Sunday and be the first person other than his parents and the hospital staff to hold him. I held his little hand as he was in the NICU tent and wondered at the beautiful, fragile life God had allowed me to be part of. At that time, I couldn't see a moment into his future. I couldn't imagine him breathing on his own, or sitting up, or laughing, or talking, crawling, learning to walk. He was so tiny. So helpless. He needed help even to breath. And then, he needed help learning to breath. And then, he needed his parents to feed him, and to watch his breathing.

And now, a year later, Skyler is huge! He is learning to walk and talk. He is silly, with a stubborn streak and a smile that will steal your heart. His laugh is loud and strong, and he needs no help downing a cup of whip cream from Starbucks or a chocolate cupcake (which are two of his favorite treats). He recognizes people by their face and their voice. He loves to play with his kitten, and he hates to see people leave. He is a person now, and he is growing so fast. And sometimes I feel like I am missing so much of it. But I know that just like the day he first left the safety of his mother's womb, God is there. God is helping him breath. God is watching over him, teaching him, and protecting him. Nothing will ever reach any of us that God is not aware of.

So why did God make our lives so fragile? I believe it was purely to drive us to the conclusion that we need God. And we all have this same need for God. Just as my little Sky-Bear needed help to breath his first couple weeks, we all need help breathing every breath. And every life is just as fragile. And so many fragile lives are being lived in the absence of the protection of God. He is perfectly aware of their need, and He is offering His help, but they must accept it. Some people can't hear Him calling, and we need to amplify His voice in their lives. That's the great commission. Us allowing people to come face to face with their own fragility.

When I was preparing to leave, I spent a lot of time with my niece, who happens to be my best friend. She asked me why I had to go to school far away, why I couldn't just go to school with my sister in state. (She's a very smart 3-year-old.) I told her I had to go because God told me to. Then she thought on this for a moment before responding, "But I want you to stay here and play with me." I told her that God wants me to do a lot of things, and one of them is to love her and play with her and tell her about Jesus, but there are a lot of kids who don't know about Jesus, and they don't have anyone to tell them, and that is why I am here. Anytime I get homesick, I remind myself of that conversation. I am here because so many kids don't know about Jesus, and I have a responsibility to fulfill the calling God has placed in my life and reach the kids He has given to me. Because they, also, need His help to breath.

And so I want to share this verse with you: "Oh that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest-- I would flee far away and stay in the desert!" Psalm 55:6-7

And this passage: "I became a servant of the gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of His power. ... I ask you, therefore, not to discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory." Ephesians 3:7, 13

I also want to aske you to pray for my grandma whose health is failing, any for my dad and my family because we would like to visit her if possible.

Speaker's Week

Not a very exciting title this week, sorry. But this is all I think could appropriately define this week. Indeed, it was Speaker's Week, and the Speaker was Dan Edwards. It was an awesome class called "Principles of Ministry", and it was just what I needed.
Last Sunday ended with another awesome bilingual service, and plenty of sleep. Then, Monday, class started. I learned so much that I wish I could share with you, but that's just not practical. Friday, the class ended, and yesterday Dan and his wife flew back to CA. But the good news is that they are returning in January, and Dan will be a regular teacher at the Bible College. :)
Now, I would like to share with you the two most valuable things that I learned this week. One is definitely more "spiritual" than the other, but they both help me in my walk with Christ and have caused a lot of thinking this week.
First of all, I am completely, 100% positive that I am called to do drama ministry with young Christian actors, and I learned that my overwhelming desire is good. I have an unquenchable need to be active in planning, dreaming and otherwise preparing for this ministry. And it is sometimes difficult to appreciate the time I have here to learn because I desire so desperately to be doing this great thing that God has placed upon my heart. I can see how God has called me and confirmed that call in my life. I can see how He has carefully prepared me throughout my life for this. Also, we took a spiritual gifts test for class, and it said I have the gift of teaching... And another gift that I think was a fluke, but that's ok, I will believe this teacher thing. I find that makes sense to me.
Secondly, I learned that there are many kinds of adventures. And while I love the run-onstage-and-do-something-silly kind, and rather enjoy the fly-to-another-country-where-you-don't-speak-the-language kind, I am not at all fond of the walk-around-the-city-aimlessly-for-2-hours-without-a-destination kind. I really hate to do stuff that is not planned. I have gotten much better at dealing with changes in plans and even last minute plans, but no plans at all doesn't jive with my personality. Unfortunately that was lost to me when I decided to go for a walk on Thursday. I don't know what I was thinking. Matt, who happens to be a great leader, decided that we were going on an adventure, and I wanted to get off campus, so I agreed to go. I didn't realize at the time that this meant that he had no idea where he was leading us or that we would spend a majority of the night walking on seemingly endless cement roads.
I had slept quite a lot the night before and had a lot of pent up energy, so I was pretty bored at the leisurely pace of my 7 traveling companions who must have known better than I that we would need that energy in a couple hours. We stopped at a total of four public restrooms, a park, a museum, and a bookstore. There was some tree climbing and dog feeding that occurred, and I even rolled down a hill. By the end, I had enjoyed myself some, but I had also come to the conclusion that I am not adventurous by Matt's standard. And pretty much everyone else was loving it, and sick of my questions and complaints.
Please pray for me this week. I need prayer in two areas. One: My Spanish! And the second is that I would have the right words to say to some friends of mine. There are several people that have contacted me since I started Bible College who do not understand what is the most important thing I have ever known, and I want to be sensitive in sharing with them about my Lord. Thank you all for your love and support. Your prayers are so precious to me. I don't have a challenge this week, so think of one and post it as a comment for me. :)

¿Tan necios sois?

Hello friends! I hope you are enjoying your lives half as much as I am enjoying mine. I know sometimes we all forget what a gift life is. We forget what a privilege it is to serve God. We forget what an undeserved honor it is to be called by Him into His family. I often look at my life in amazement. I can't believe that God would choose me over anyone else. And that is the focus of this week's rambling: My Weakness!
So, I just want to start by admitting that in the past I was often less than humble. Growing up in a Christian home, I was often judgemental of others and certain that I had my life pretty together. At least more than whoever happened to sit next to me in Sunday school. Then, about 4 years ago, I learned that I was completely wrong about myself. I was faced with, for the first time, the fact that next to God, my thoughts, plans and ideas are elementary at best.
Well, I was realizing that I had many areas of weakness, and so I began to work on them. I let God change me. I surrendered to Him any area which I saw as unpleasing, or less than great. And I know that was what God expected from me at the time. And God really worked at improving those areas in my life, and I am a better person because of it. But friends, He wasn't done.
You see, God does want our broken areas. He does want our weaknesses. He wants to change us and grow us in those areas. But He also wants our strengths. And if we don't give them to Him, He may just take them away.
Let me give you two examples: one from my life, and one from the Bible so you know I'm not just making stuff up.
This week, I was really struggling. Many of you, especially if you have known me for awhile, know that I am good with kids. God has given me natural talents in this area. I also believe I have been supernaturally gifted with the ability to teach. I hope that this doesn't sound arrogant because there is a point in me sharing this, and I get real humble by the end of the story, promise. Let me tell you, I taught Sunday school for the last two years, and there were times that I walked into a class having never seen the curriculum and threw together a lesson as I went. This is my strength.
But, let me tell you, the rules totally change when you throw in a new language. (And at the orphanage, there are 2 new languages: Spanish and Swiss German.) I went to the orphanage the last two weeks and tried to teach these kids ANYTHING, and they were not having it. I couldn't even get them to listen to me. I enjoyed my time with the kids but I felt kinda discouraged that I was completely unable to teach them. I didn't understand until I read the next example:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power my rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have heard this passage so many times, but it meant something so great to me this time. Paul is saying that he was strong. He had his own strength, and that was good to him. But God gave him a weakness to remind Paul to not boast in His strength and to remember that even in our strengths we need God.
In the same way, God brought me to the last place on earth I would have brought myself, where they speak the language I hated, and taught me that HE gave me my strength, and that in that strength, I still need Him. He made me weak so He could make me strong.
Now, if anything is accomplished in my ministry here, it will be obvious that God made it happen. And this is how I prepare myself. By reading Scriptures like this:
Psalm 46:1,5,10 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble... God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day... 'Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.'"
My challenge: that you would strive to rely on God in your strengths as well as your weaknesses.
Gálatas 3:3--"¿Tan necios sois? ¿Habiendo comenzado por el Espíritu, ahora vais a acabar por la carne?"

Because I love you, silly.

So I have not taken any blog worthy photos in awhile. So, I am unable to share my life via photos this week. I am not a photographer, I never have been. So, I sincerely apologize for all you visual people who need images to understand. I don't work that way.
Now, moving past that, I will start this week's blog by saying that I never in my 4 years in Arizona thought that I would for one second miss the wretched desert. But I do. I miss the warmth and the sunshine. (Although, I know you can't imagine this right now, I am sure this will sound lovely in about a month.) I miss my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephew. I miss my church. I miss my friends. I miss free coffee. Yes, I long to be physically with all the people who have made up my life as I made the most significant growth and transition. But I actually found myself thinking that Arizona itself, without these people, is not really that bad. As I write this, I feel as if I am betraying the land I once called home, and still remember fondly, Sacramento, and hope to go there and visit some of my oldest and best friends. But I have no desire to live in California anymore. And for the first time, when people ask where I am from, I answer, "Arizona". I still often feel the need to elaborate that I am originally from California, but I do claim Arizona, now, despite my own amazement at the very thought.
On that note, let me continue by sharing how God has moved in my life this week. This week was less eventful than others, and so I wish to summarize it all at once instead of day by day. I did much of the same. Studying, reading, listening to Chuck Smith explain the Bible. But most importantly, this week, my heart was heavy. I was a little sad, and homesick. I prayed a lot for my family. For my grandmother who is now in the hospital. For my sister-in-law who has been sick for about a year, and finally got a diagnosis of a faulty gallbladder, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. For my sister who is starting college and having a hard time making friends. For my other sister and her husband who have been struggling to find good work. For my nephew who is teething. For my mom who works so hard and spends hours trying to make church a fun place of learning. For my dad who is the head of this family and strives to honor Christ in all areas of his life. For my brother who is trying to just pay the bills. For my niece who can't understand why she has to go to the doctor when her ears hurt. All these people have meant more to me than words can describe. And I felt very helpless this week as their needs have seemed exceptionally real to me. I wish I could be with them and solve everything.
But the truth is, even if I was there, I couldn't solve anything. I wouldn't be able to make those problems disappear. In fact I would just make things worse because I would be miserable. I know that right now I am in the middle of God's will, and if I was at home, I would be sinning, and if there is one thing I've learned from sharing a bathroom with 6 other girls, it is that everything you do or don't do affects everyone around you.
So, it would logically follow that I feel completely hopeless and desperately sad about the whole situation, and if I was depending at all on myself, I would. But praise God that He is my hope. And He loves my family much more than I ever could. And He has called me to love Him first. And He is the One who is taking care of everything. All I have to do is pray and obey.
And He doesn't leave me alone to go through this, but He has surrounded me with other believers who are my eternal family and are there to help me carry any burdens life throws my way.
My verses for this semester so far have been Matthew 10:37-39--

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I have come to see how this plays out in real life. And it's definitely worth it.

So the challenge: Who do you love most? If it's not God, that's the challenge.

An Inherited Blessing

So, many of you have asked me to share more pictures, so I have posted several on my Facebook profile, and I have made a point of taking at least one each day. I started with the picture of me dancing in bright colors because, as I see it, that was definately a highlight of the week, but as I have in the past, I will continue with my day-to-day exposition of God's work in me, here, in Lima.
This is a sight I didn't expect to see, but after a day of studying Matthew, I walked outside and saw Tim climbing into his room. I was pretty concerned for his safety, at the point the picture was taken. However, knowing there was little to be done to help him, I could not miss this photo oportunity.
Tuesday was a fairly uneventful day. I was an uneventful day. I actually did basically nothing most of the day because I was not feeling well. But on Tuesday night I finished a video I made for my sister-in-law, Stephani. It was her birthday on Wednesday, and I just wanted to make sure she knew that I love her and I think about her often.

This picture is of me and my good friend Bailey. She sleeps in the room adjoining mine. And I love her! She is the same age as me, but on her third semester here. After Bible College she will probably go back to the university and finish her business degree. She works in the coffee shop for her M1 (which is basically a required chore that we have to do for credit). Wednesday was a crazy busy day, but I did manage to finish my Genesis Chuck Tracks! It was a good day of God teaching me the importance of character over the desire for knowledge. While it is good to study God's word, study is pointless without application.

This is the sign over the door in the front of our classroom. This sign stares at me all day long, and sometimes I find myself staring back. Usually I just find myself thinking about Finding Nemo, but lately it has taken on new meaning to me. It reminds me of what I wrote in my last update: God always provides an escape from temptation. So now, I am seeing that more and more, and I pray for God to keep showing me that whenever I see that sign over my classroom door. (And sometimes I still think about Finding Nemo and try not to laugh.) Also, on Thursday, I went tree climbing in the park, but we all forgot to bring our cameras.
And now, the day you have all been thinking about since you stumbled across my page. Or maybe you know me well enough not to be surprised by the crazy picture at the beginning of this post. Either way, I am here to let you know that I was a finalist in the Day of Colors Contest. We all dressed in the most colorful outfits we could comprise, and mine was in the top three. Then we had a dance off, and I, of course, lost. But Carlos had an awesome outfit, and an equally awesome show. This was a fun and relaxing time. Just what we all needed after a few weeks of intense study. I love it here!

On that note, let me end my week. I had more fun yesterday at the orphanage, and then did some dishes and talked to my family. Traci, my friend from AZ, is returning to the Grand Canyon State tonight, and so we went out last night.

Since I have been here, I see how God is changing me into His image. It is a slow process, and the more He changes me, the more I am able to see how much there is still left to change. I am excited to share this whole experience with all of my dear friends in the US, and with my new friends here. I know that God is preparing me for something new and exciting. I am pretty sure that I will be home in two years starting work on a brand new ministry, but I see more each day that God is teaching me things here I would never have learned at home. I am learning through living with strangers and a lack of freedom the importance of loving others and depending on God. All this is changing me a little at a time into the servant God needs to serve the people I love so much back home. I need this time of training to prepare me for the ministry I want so badly to jump into right now. I pray that God will bring me back to you a woman after His heart who can be used to serve His people. And I challenge you all to pray that He would bless you with the same.

It's so COOOOLLLDDDD here!

By the grace of God, there go I.

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."
This sounds like It could be the line of a great song... one that I would love to write, but it's not. It's the inspired word of God through His servant Paul to the church in Corinth. (1 Cor 10:12) And it's what God was telling me last week, and this week. That I need to watch myself. Watch my actions, my words, my thoughts, my heart. I am here to draw close to God, and to share Him with the world, but that won't happen if I think I have it figured out already. I didn't even realize that I was about to fall.
So, let me share some of my week with you. Sundays here are always amazing. But last Sunday, there was an especially amazing concert at the church... Awesome!
The rest of my free time was mostly spent reading Fox's Book of Martyrs, which I totally recommend to someone who has countless hours of free time and a stomach for unmentionable torture to those who bravely and proudly bore the name of Christ. And, thankfully, all the reading and studying paid off with an 'A' in Church History.
On Wednesday night, I talked with my dear little niece... She gave my teachers and roommates nicknames which I will never forget. But otherwise my week was rather uneventful until Friday.
I guess we all just decided that it was time to celebrate the end of Church History. I went shopping with Ivy, our Dean of Women. And bought some gummy worms and tape. Then I went to "the cliffs" with a bunch of other students. Basically, it's a really high cliff above the highway where you can see the ocean. It's pretty cool.
Then, on Saturday, I just had a bad day, from the moment I woke up, everything seemed to bother me. I am not sure why. Then, lunch was late. This was an issue not only because I was hungry but because Saturday is the day most of us have afternoon ministries right after lunch. So those of us with Saturday dishes want lunch to be on time so we can go on ministry.... Needless to say, I was less than thrilled with the situation. Not to mention, we are short two hands in the kitchen because one student went home, and the other person helping me was terribly ill and should have been in bed. So I walked by myself, an hour late, to an orphanage I had never been to with less than perfect directions... But I made it. Then, we were kicked out early, only to be informed that mornings really are more ideal. So, next Saturday, will be better! :)
All this to show you that this week, I was tempted to complain, to judge others, to hate, to ask Why?, to give up and give in. And many times I did one or another of theses. I am NOT perfect. But thanks be to God that He does not expect Perfection. In fact, David in Psalm 26 claims to have lived a life blameless before God, and we know He sinned. So what is this blameless life? According to this Psalm, it is to trust in the Lord "without wavering", to "walk continually" in His truth. And David pleaded that God would be merciful and redeem Him on behalf of His blamelessness.
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." If we have a relationship with God, and offer ourselves to Him, we are made blameless in Him. And through that blamelessness, we can plead for redemption. We can confess and restore that blamelessness each time we sin.
But even in this blameless state, we must be careful not to think we have somehow "arrived" at perfection. That we have excelled in this process we call "Christianity". But we must be on guard and look for a way out when we are tempted. Because in the next verse, Paul also says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Do not be fulled, there is always an escape for sin, and there are always open arms waiting to forgive you when you fail to access that escape.
So, now, I will end this week's entry with a prayer and a challenge.
The challenge is for you to seek the escape, and be open to confession in order to live that blameless life.

Dear Lord, Please break me so I am worthless in the eyes of man. Then, build me up with Your Word, fill me with Your Spirit, and bind me with Your love. Hold me close to You to You so that I am surrounded by Your presence. Then, teach me to be like You, as I go before man. Do this so they may glorify You. In all this help me to love the way I can't and the way I don't want to. To even love those whom the world expects me to hate. Thank you for choosing me, unworthy and ugly as I am in comparison to Your holy perfection. I love You because You have shown me what love is. Thank You for shoeing me Your delight in me. Use me, Lord. Here I am. Use me.

Mi vida!

Logging on, I see that it has been awhile since I have read many blogs... So I almost feel guilty posting with the expectation that you will read mine. But as I promised to keep my family and friends up-to-date on Lima happenings, here it is from Sunday to Sunday. (Or should I say Domingo?)



Last Sunday, we all went the 11:00 am Spanish Service at Calvary Chapel Lima. I understood more than I expected, adn even learned some Spanish. Lunch, as always, was good. Then I just hung out til dinner time. Then, we went to Enfoque! The best service I've been to in awhile, billingual, with great teaching. (Enfoque means focus, ie Jesus es mi enfoque.)



Monday, I started class, and it's basically amazing. But the book is hard to read. Mostly because it is so easy to get distracted.... I have to read over 300 pages by Friday morning! We are studying Church History in light of Acts and Jesus letters to the 7 churches in Revelations. It is really sad to see how we are now in the Age of Apostacy. I pray that young believers would rise up and be filled with a passion to reach the people dying around them. I have such a heart for America's youth, and being here, I am even more convinced that I will return to them and be a light for Christ there someday. I just don't know how long I will be gone. I feel like Paul, longing to see my people come to Christ, but seeing acceptance from anyone but them.



Tuesday, I lead devotions.... It was crazy that I went first. Each day a different student leads, but I am first and last (ironic) and I am the only one who will lead it 4 times instead of 3. I spoke about how sacrificing our lives for God is our reasonable act of worship. And that is something God was teaching me a lot on my way here.



Wednesday and Thursday... more of the same. Classes. Homework. Chill time. Thinking that denominations and 'movements' are not perfect, and I can't wait til the Body is all one, whcn we are united with our bridegroom.



Friday, I witnessed to a friend, and tried to give a reason for the hope that is within me... I was frustrated. (But God reminded me the next morning that I do not win souls, and that I must keep sharing my faith.)

Saturday: Field Trip Day! We went to the Museum of the Inquistion here, and to a church. Can you say Paganism? And perverting the name of Christ.... terible'. We had some Chifa (Chinese food) for dinner. AWESOMENESS!!! Then we watched Star Wars Episode IV.

Today, I went to church in Spanish and in English. Then ate lunch. Then down time... mostly because I was locked out of mi cuarto. Then, dinner, and an awesome concert. Fantastic!

Please pray that my Spanish will improve, and that I will learn how to walk blameless before my God... He has given me the word "blameless" several times this week, and I am sure it means something important to my near future.

My Week in Lima

Ok, so I only arrived Wednesday night, but I figured that Sunday was a good day to post a regular week-to-week update, so we will call this week one. I have been trying to journal every night so I don't forget anything I wish to share with you. So, here is a basic rundown of my week and some pictures (more to come) because everyone loves pictures! :)

This is on the wall by our lounge area. I took more pictures, but the internet is slow, so I don't want to load more right now.

This is what I see when I step out of my room. It is coool. In case you know zero Spanish, that means, "Jesus loves you."

This is the desk and closet shared by four girls including me...

The last picture is my bunk bed, I'm on top... It isn't that messy anymore.

Thursday: I woke up in Lima. I was scared. It was early and cold. I wasn't sure who or where anyone was. i wandered aroung for awhile before doing what I knew I should: read my Bible.
Then I prayed, "LOrd, show me why you have brought me here." By lunch, I had made many friends. By dinner, I heard many testimonies, and by bedtime, I was convinced, and still am, that I am in God's will and that Lima has much to offer.
I have Masa's picture by ny head and my fairwll cards under my pillow. Every night I fall asleep to audio books and prayer for you all.

Friday: We had a great day. I met even more people. Some of us went for a walk around the block and I was finally able to exchange some money. John Bonner is the head pastor of the church and basically in charge. His son graduated that day, and is leaving soon for York, England. So we celebrated with him today. I am so glad the Lord has brought me here with all these great people. I can't wait to see what He will do in and through us this semester.

Saturday: Orientation.... It wasn't too bad. It was pretty exciting to talk about the semester ahead. I also talked to Traci a lot (she's from AZ, and we met before we came). Which is good because we needed to catch up. We also got to meet John's wife Pilar. She had all the girls over for waffels and ice cream. Yum. It was a fun time.
There is always an opportunity to be doing something here. My prayer for my fellow students is to seek God first and to make quiet time a priority when we get busy with our studies this week.

I will put today's summary in next week's post as there is still much of the day ahead of me. Please pray for the students as we continue to seek God's direction for our lives beyond this semester.

I´m here!

Well, the room is dark, so I´m not too sure what it actually looks like. And I can´t get my stuff out without waking my roommate. And I suddenly feel certain that something is going to go wrong. But maybe that is lack of sleep. Still, I am super excited. I just don´t know what to do. I made it through the customs and imigration with no mishaps or missing bags, so I´m off to a good start.
 

--Rachael

Sky Harbor

I am just waiting for my flight and completely excited. I said my goodbyes and was sent away with a prayer. I am hoping to meet up with a classmate in TX. I feel certain that God has great plans for me on this trip! I will blog again soon, but I wanted to get down all my initial leaving thoughts.

Right now, I am so greatful to all of you who are praying for me and are supporting me in so many ways. I can't wait to share with you all that God does over the next few months! See you soon! We just started boarding!
 

--Rachael

I think I figured it out finally!

If you are reading this... it worked!

Test..1..2...3

Hey there bloggers. (This may post twice. I am emailing this as a test to see if I can post via email. This way, even if blogger doesn't work, I will be able to post from anywhere!!!) I wanted to say I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have had a crazy month. I was so busy preparing for my trip, and working. Then, I have been sick and well, it really doesn't matter.
So, what you really want to know is where I am on this journey with my Prince. Well, so far, I have been on this roller coaster of emotions. I am sometimes excited, sometimes terrified, and mostly just ready to go. I want to squeal in the anticipation of what I will meet on the road ahead, and cry at the sad thought of what I am leaving behind. Today was the emotional climax (so far).
In all my life, I have become very close to few people. There are four families I can think of in California (I am still in touch with them all), but most live here in the Pheonix area. I am leaving behind my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, two sisters and my parents. I am leaving behind the comforting power of my purring kitties. I am leaving behind two great church families who have come to mean more than words can testify. I am leaving behind children who I have watched grow for years. I am leaving behind two of my three closest friends, and a college group that better exemplifies the church of Acts than any congregation I have previously been part of.
But all of this is not in vain. And I say this with confidence for many reasons.
First of all, because all of you have surrounded me with love and support. Because I am following the prayers of righteous men. I am being held up in prayer like Moses. I am going with the support, not only of the people I love, but of people who love my Lord.
Secondly, I am not really leaving forever. Since I first felt called to ministry I have learned a lot about the life style of the missionary and my previous misconceptions have slowly been torn away. I want you to know that even though I call Sacramento my home town, I have learned it is not my home. Niether, though, is AZ. And niether is Peru. I am merely a visitor on this planet, and I find "home" in the company of my family, the Body of Christ. You are all my home. And one day, we will be at home together. And we will laugh at the idea of seperation, because our temporal lives will seem as only a moment.
Third, I am not alone on this journey. I go to do the work the Lord has already prepared in advance for me. I know He will be with me, and that I will always have have His Holy Comfortor, even when I feel lonely. I will not go anywhere He has not been or He has not allowed me to go. I feel confident in His calling on my life. Which leads to my final point.
I do not leave in vain, for this is a work of eternal reward. I am doing this for my God, and this is a step to show that this is not my life. I know that now. I can say that with conviction. I still try to claim it sometimes, but this life is His: I'm just along for the ride.

I don't know where I will be in ten years, five years or even a year from now, and the part of me that packed two weeks early absolutely can't stand that. And everytime, I see the face of my niece, I ask God why. But I am learning to constently empty that "me" out and replace it with the Word of God, which tells me not to even worry about tomorrow. The Word tells me that even to be hated by my family would be a blessing if it was for the glory of God, and I am much more blessed than that.
Thank you too all who have helped me get this far in my life and ministry. I love you and am more greatful than you could know this side of eternity.
My challenge: Ask yourself, and God, what you should leave behind for His sake?

Loving my Life

Well, to start off, I had a great experience with my niece last week. She has been desperately upset with me that I am moving "far away to go to school". She has been asking me why for awhile now. I usually just say something like, "It's just something I have to do" or "Everyone goes to different schools and mine is just far." But we were driving and those answers weren't cutting it. (You see, all our important Why-Because conversations happen in the car. During a monsoon one day, she asked, "Why does it rain?" I then told her the story of the flood.)
Finally she said, "But why do you have to go to that school? I just want you to play with me every day."
"I need to do what God wants," I told her, "and God wants me to go to that school."
"Why?" I was really starting to hate that word.
"Because I the Bible tells us that we can show Jesus we love Him by doing what He wants. Part of that is playing with you and teaching you about Jesus. But there are other people who don't know about Jesus, and He wants me to tell them how much He loves them." At this point we entered a parking lot with a familiar green circular sign.
"Are we at Starbucks, now? I thought we were going to a friend's house with hamsters." And the conversation ended.
Last night, I was talking to her mom, certain my niece hated me for planning my trip. Her mom assured me that she is fine. She told her mom that I have to go because God told me to, and I have to tell other kids about Jesus. I am crying now just thinking about it. She is such a blessing!
In other news, and we know I always have other news, my life has been spinning around for the last, oh two months. Not that it was ever calm before that, but its roller coaster-ish right now. Between work, babysitting, drama, and family, I have had no time for my friends. I realize many people face the same issue, and so I feel this is a universal topic. But God showed me something great.
He reminded me of something I think I forget too easily.
God desires our happiness.
I am a fairly friendly and outgoing person, and in the absence of my dear friends (especially Masa and the newest Mrs. Reade) I have started to feel lonely. I have felt a fear that this loneliness will continue and strengthen as I go to Peru. Unfortunately, I was beginning to feel that this was God's desire; that I walk alone through this new experience.
Through this time, God has given me some new contacts with girls from my new school. One even lives in this area! And I am hoping to meet her before we leave the country. He proved His love by sending me words of unity and encouragement from others in the same situation as me.
He also brought me some older-sister figures into my life who have lead me closer to Him and held up my arms in prayer. He also grew another level in my relationship with my family that I think will keep us close as I travel the world.
Many Christians feel they must always be a martyr, suffering in their walk. They must be alone, secluded and desperate, or they aren't following God. This isn't true.
Sometimes, God does call us to a time alone with Him. Sometimes God allows such times to grow us in our faith and dependence on Him, but He never intended for us to be alone as a life style. If you don't believe me, read Paul's letter to the Philippians. He loved them, and reminded them of the importance of fellowship and unity.
Looking back, this is not the first time my Daddy God has done this for me. In fact, I have many sisters in Christ who have come into my life when I needed them most. I know that they are each gifts from God, and I am thankful that He loves us enough to bring us together in Him.
So, here's the challenge: if you have felt lonely, go out and find a godly, Christian friend who can encourage you in your faith, and remind you of God's desire to bless you. And if you are in that place, alone with God, rest in Him and see what He has for you. He is great company.

Trusting in God

Dear Family and Friends—
This year has been a rollercoaster of faith and doubt for me. In September, I found out about an opportunity to serve God in Ethiopia, and I made a step of faith to go. In the months between the decision and the actual trip, I faced many doubts and fears (and even a car accident). But God proved His faithfulness over and over again to me. Through financial miracles and great sacrifices of family, friends, and even some people I have never met, God provided for me to travel across the globe and serve those who could never dream of the kind of money I spent to get there.
Since my trip to Ethiopia, I have applied and been accepted into Calvary Chapel Bible College in Lima, Peru. Throughout my life, I now see, God has used every little success and struggle to prepare me for the next task He has for me. I believe that through my studies in Peru the next two years, I will grow closer to God, and become thoroughly prepared to serve Him where He next calls me. I am trusting that God will provide for me, and my parents have been beacons of hope and pillars of strength as they remind me that our God is faithful and will never let me down.
Now, here’s the part where you come in. While I am in Peru, I will be participating in some missions projects that could cost anywhere from $130 to $450. I also recently learned of an opportunity to study for a week in Israel. I am certain God will provide for me whatever I will need, but I know that provision may come from other believers who wish to share in the blessings I am sure to experience through this service. Any amount you could spare would be greatly appreciated.
So many of you have given me so much support, spiritually and financially, in the past, and I am asking that you give now only what you feel God is asking of you and nothing more. I value your love and prayers so much more than your money, and hope that you will remember me as I continue my race to eternity.

If you would like to help me financially, please click on my Chip-In Widget (or ask me for more information).

Who's your Daddy?

Since it is Father's Day, I would just like to say thank you to all the fathers who may have stumbled across my blog. Especially, my dad who I cannot thank enough.
But it's been more than a month since I've posted and I have something to get out, so I'll try not to spend to much time rambling at the beginning like I usually do.
In two months time I will be in Peru, so that is that. Moving on.
Today, I spent time with my dad by attending church with my parents. They are part of a church plant. Mom leads the kids, and Dad heads up their men's ministry. I don't visit there often, since I am so involved in my church, but I am blessed each time. Today was special because there was a child dedication.
I love these. At our church, Pastor K. gets so excited to see the little babies and children and pray over each one, and our friend Pastor Scott is not much different. Quite a few children were dedicated this Father's Day, including his own youngest son. But that wasn't what got me. It was the last two babies dedicated that made me tear up today, and not because they were cute (which they were), but because they were foster kids.
Their foster parents have such love and commitment for these children, that they brought them before the church and dedicated them to the Lord. And as the pastor spoke, I couldn't help but think of something my mom had told me when my oldest sibling left for the Navy. She said, "Its not easy to watch your baby leave, but he doesn't belong to me. He belongs to God, and he's only mine for a little while."
I have always loved to hear stories of adoption because they remind me of how God, like adoptive parents saught us out and was willing to pay a great price to make us His children. And as Christians, that is what we are. He is our Father, the Bible tells us that our spirit calls Him ABBA, Daddy. He is our Lord, yes; our Savior, of course, but also our Daddy. He made us His. And He longs, just like any adotive father, to hear us call Him that. We have been reborn into His family and are now co-heirs with His Only Begotten Son, Jesus.
But while on this earth God has given us each "foster" parents. Some of us are fortunate in the way Jesus was to have earthly parents like Mary and Joseph. I also have parents who love God and have chosen to raise me and my siblings to follow His Word and to love Him as they do.
Like those babies I saw today, my parents realize that although I am only theirs for a little while, they have a great responsibility to care for me, not just for my sake, but for the glory of their Abba God who has trusted them with four of His own children.
Many Christians, unfortunately are not blessed like I to have loving Christian parents. However, many times God provides them with other earthly "foster parents". My own parents were such to many a child, teen , young adult, and baby Christian my whole childhood, and are now to many more. Many find great mentors in church leaders, pastors, or just the nice couple in the next pew. They are just people who love their Father, and accept His call to care for His children, just for a little while. Like my mom and dad, they care and provide for them with the knowledge that they are not their own, all the while loving and sacrificing for them as if they were.
So today, Father's Day, I am exceeding greatful for my Heavenly Father and the love and grace He gives me each day, especcially in the form of my very own earthly father, and the other men, who have at times taken on the role of "foster father" in my life.
My challenge: Say a prayer for your own earthly father, whether or not He is a Joseph, and for the other men who have been like a father to you. Thank God for His great plan in bringing them each into your life, and for preparing them for the work He has called them to do for His kingdom.
Happy Fathers Day!

Crazy Weekend

So last week was the last week of school for me at EMCC. I finished me Associates, not with the 4.0 I had hoped and strived for, but I finished. And I graduated on Friday. My whole family was there to cheer me on, and Serene asked when it would be time to yell, "Go Serene!"

On Saturday, I woke up early with a mission. I chopped off my hair! I will post a picture soon, but just imagine me, without about a foot of hair and that's it. I donated it to Locks of Love, so I don't miss it at all. I hope some one else enjoys wearing it as much as I enjoy not carrying it.

I am sure Serene has about 15 more years to wait, but Leah's turn is today! She is graduating from High School (2 of us finally made it through the same school).
I am more excited for her than I was for myself! I am sure gonna miss her when we both move away in August, but we have great plans of fun days spent packing and sorting through childhood memories for this summer. :) I am so proud of my little genius, who, I might add, got into one of the top engineering programs in the country to study computer science. (That is why I really don't need to know much about computers.)
Congrats Leah! You did it! We did it! Even made it through 4 years in this blazing desert! Love ya!

There's a First Time for Everything

And this Friday is a big first in my family. I will be the first to get a college degree. I graduate with an AA in General Education. Then, on Monday, Leah graduates from HS. She will be the first to attend a University. Her and I will both live away from home from the first time. And since we are so close, I will miss her. We shared a room most of our lives. Now, we will live on separate continents. Talk about a tough transition, who will help me when I don't know which button to push on the computer? Who will teach me how to use my first iPOD, and my first laptop?
Then, I will be the first to go to Peru in August, and in October, my nephew will celebrate his first birthday. And then, in November, I will miss my dad's birthday and Thanksgiving with my family for the first time.
Soon, my parents will live alone. Just the two of them, for the first time. Though they swear otherwise, I am sure they will miss us.
While some of these firsts are sad, they share something in common: they are undoubtedly exciting. Anything is exciting, if a little scary, the first time. They share that common element of the unknown. But I am so glad because then, I must make a choice of where to place my faith. My prayer right now is that my family and I all put our faith in Christ as we approach all these firsts, both good and... not so good. That we remember, that although for us it is a first, for God there is no such thing. He is beyond time, and so He has experienced and is already experiencing the firsts of all mankind throughout all history eternally. And He is prepared to face all of our firsts for us.
So, as I plan to pack my first items into my suitcase, and take that first step into the Sky Harbor International terminal (and symbolically a whole new life), I will trust that Jesus is the Lord of Firsts. He is Alpha God, and He is in control. He was here with me before history. And like a good pastor friend of mine said today, God has no beginning. Remember the words of God to Moses: "Before Abraham was, I AM."
And the words of John: "In the beginning was the Word." And that same Word, from the beginning of time has a life of good works set out for me, and for you. If He stepped out of time, and planned my life, and yours, in a way that leads to Him, would He not take care of a life of obedient service to Him after we have responded to His call?
Amen, He would, and HAS. And I am so hopeful in my firsts before me, and even those I don't yet know. But most importantly, the First I await the most is the first time I see Him physically. If I missed every other first to see Him sooner, I would have missed nothing.

Have a great day, its the first time you've seen this today. Embrace it in the Lord of Firsts.