contentment

Ok, so my Bible study compatriots and my close friends know that this was my word from the Women's Retreat. And it has been driving my nuts. And teaching me a lot.
On Sunday, Todd spoke of us "getting in the wheelbarrow." And I have to say, I was convicted. I know I still have a few thing to load on top of that wheelbarrow so that God can push them across that tight-rope.
Looking back I can see how God has used my life to prepare me for this word. Then, used this word to prepare me for life.
Last April, God gave me a verse, Romans 15:13. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." This may sound like a fluffy, hang-it-on-the-wall, encouraging verse, but it's not. This is more like a God-is-trying-to-tell-you-something-so-pay-attention-to-this-whisper-or-it-will-be-followed-by-a-yell verse of conviction. It's all about choosing to rejoice in God. You see, God has already given us the all joy and peace. We just have to trust in him. Ouch... maybe that means that I need to trust God. You think? Of course I need to trust God.
I told you this contentment stuff is kicking my butt.
Paul makes it sound easy when he says, "I have learned to be content." (Phil 4:10) But watch closely to what happened to Paul as he traveled along the path leading to contentment "whatever the circumstances", "the secret to being content in any and every situation". (v 12) He first had to "know what it is to be in need".
Many of us think we know what it is to be in need, but it didn't lead to the secret of being content. Why? Look at the next phrase: "and I know what it is to have plenty."
I don't know about you, but I have always had enough to survive. Physically, emotionally, intellectually, and, after receiving Christ, spiritually. I had enough. I may have wanted more, but I was not "in need" or even "in want". I did not ache.
I then learned what it was to have plenty. (I think for some people it is harder to be content with plenty. They always want more. Others feel guilty about what they have and forget to be thankful.) My family had been poor, but we got to a more stable living situation and had more money to spend on what my parents called "extras".
I was at my spiritual mountain top. I felt God's presence almost physically and heard his voice almost audibly. I was learning a lot at school, and enjoying it. I had finally made a great friend and was growing closer to many others.
I HAD PLENTY!
But I had not learned contentment.
So, God told my parents to move to Arizona.
Here, without my "plenty", I learned what it is to be "in want". I felt desperate for what I lacked.
I WAS IN WANT, and (at least I thought) IN NEED.
But I still hadn't learned contentment.
So God gave me some plenty. Let, me tell you I was showering in blessings. Slowly I began to value some thing in my life. Some people. Some situations.
None of these things were bad. Even enjoying these blessing was not bad. I was praising God for what he had given me. Indeed, I had learned to be content. But not "in any and every situation." I had only learned to be content with plenty.
So what do you think God did?
He very lovingly, pointed out to me verses and passages of scripture about this whole issue of praise, joy, trust, and, yes, even CONTENTMENT. Then he gave me this word to study.
Then,when I still had not learned, he pulled my rug of plenty right out from under me.
As I grasped for the little pieces of rug fuzz, God slowly swept them away, too.
And so, on my concrete floor of nothingness, I did what any self-reliant, spoiled, spiritual 2-year-old would do. I cried and screamed and kicked my feet. I through a big ol' fit.
And when I was through, and ready to repent, my Daddy God reached out and comforted me.
So, now, I am learning the secret to being content. The one that Paul shared in verse 13. "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
And here's another secret I've learned, "I can do nothing without him."
Because God is in control. And if that scares you, you're not alone. It scares me, too. But I am learning to rejoice in the wheelbarrow.