Like most people, I hate goodbyes. They are funny things. I think we can learn a lot about our relationships with other people in how we say goodbye. In Acts, Paul said a very sad goodbye to the leaders of the church in Ephesus. They were all weeping. It was a sad occasion because they loved him, and they didn't want to see him go.
There are some people who I got to watch leave this weekend who were loved like Paul. Because of their great ministry and fellowship here in Lima, it was hard to see them go. Some people had sad goodbyes, knowing they may never return to this city, and may not see some of the people they have come to love so dearly. Some people left hopeful, expecting to return soon, parting with short hugs and lots of See-you-soons.
I realize now how much I love each of the students who have made up the body that was CCBC Lima this semester. As I said goodbye, and thought that I may never see them this side of heaven, my eyes began to water, and my chest got heavy. This summer, and next semester, I will miss my girls.
I will miss Ina. The lighthearted joy that she used to illuminate each room she entered. I will miss her cute style and her knowledge of Japanese culture that was appreciated by man a Peruvian.
I will miss Lauren (who has not yet left) and her beautiful smile, that rarely departs from her face. I will miss her desire to encourage and to love all who let her in. I will miss her simple faith and easy friendship.
I will miss Rosalie. She was someone who I didn't know that well last semester, but who I have come to love more each day. She is beautiful inside and out, and I love to see how the Lord is continuously using her willingness to serve Him and others.
I will miss Emily, my roommate. I will miss her great mix of North and South American culture that allowed for a great bridge between the two worlds. I will miss our late night conversations and our after lunch naps. I will miss her desire to serve God and to glorify Him in her weakness.
I will miss Andrea. I will miss her desire to make friends with those who are so different from her. I will miss her honesty, and her Colombian sense of humor that lightened many awkward situations. I will miss her ability to find beauty in anyone.
I will miss Lara. I will miss her love of knowledge, and her personality. I will miss her willingness to do whatever may be necessary. I will miss her care that she easily gives to be our nurse-at-hand in the jungle or on the beach. I will miss her... but not yet; she is here til July.
I will miss Holly. I will miss her love for Peru, and for the girls. I will miss her desire to see herself grow into a woman who can be used by God. I will miss her desire to see others have the same opportunity.
I will miss Carolina. I will miss her quiet smile, that sometimes bursts into uproarious laughter. I will miss her sweetness and her beauty. I will miss her morning greetings that didn't make me wish for a second cup of coffee before replying.
I will miss Megan, my sweet friend from Flagstaff. I have come to love her like a sister, and seen her grow. I will miss her crazy dancing, and her desire to serve others. I will miss her silly secrets and laughter. I will miss her rebuke and honesty that has caused me to grow, and her quick forgiveness.
I will miss my Shirley! I will miss our wordless conversations across the table. I will miss her forgetfulness, and her easygoing personality. I will miss my companion who loves food and sleep as much as I do. I will miss our Saturday trips to the bakery and walks to her mom's house. I will miss our times spent teaching each other our language and our culture. I will miss her knowing exactly when there is something wrong.
I will miss my girls. I know God has great things for each of them, and that one day we will share our stories of His great work in and through us. I can hardly wait.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day 2010
Hey, all my blog friends. This is gonna be a short post... mostly because I need to leave for church soon. My life has been crazy! The semester ends this week, and with so many changes going on at home, my plans are continuously changing, as well. I wish I could say that I am a confident in what the next step of my life is, but I am not sure what I will doing in a few weeks time.
Please pray for me and my family as we make some important decisions and await important information that will greatly affect how much time I will have left in Peru. I am so thankful for all of the encouragement I have from all of you.
I want to say a special thank you to all my family who has supported me through all the ups and downs of this semester. Also, to all of you who have prayed for me. I am eternally indebted.
I also want to add that I have a great Mom who I love more than my life. She has sacrificed so much for me and been through so much for me. I could never say thank you enough. I don't know why God gave you to me, Mom, but I am thankful for His grace in putting our family together like He did, and I know He is working everything out for our good and His glory.
God bless you, and have a great Mother's Day.
Rachael Out.
Please pray for me and my family as we make some important decisions and await important information that will greatly affect how much time I will have left in Peru. I am so thankful for all of the encouragement I have from all of you.
I want to say a special thank you to all my family who has supported me through all the ups and downs of this semester. Also, to all of you who have prayed for me. I am eternally indebted.
I also want to add that I have a great Mom who I love more than my life. She has sacrificed so much for me and been through so much for me. I could never say thank you enough. I don't know why God gave you to me, Mom, but I am thankful for His grace in putting our family together like He did, and I know He is working everything out for our good and His glory.
God bless you, and have a great Mother's Day.
Rachael Out.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Are you ok?
There is something I like to say when my emotions seem to be overwhelming me. "Why did God make emotions so big and people so small?" Everyone has those days, or sometimes weeks, or months, when you hear the question, "Are you ok?" and want to say, "No! I'm not ok. I feel like screaming right now. I am dying inside." But instead you say, "Yeah, I'm great." Then you force a smile, and remind yourself that you have to work hard to make everyone believe you if you want them to think you are alright. But, I personally, try to avoid that. Not by walking around weeping and wailing, but by being honest if I'm not ok. And also, by rejoicing in the Lord despite my circumstances. I think it is possible to do both.
This has been a tough semester, and I have not been happy through a lot of stuff in my life, but I do have joy. It's not always the case, but for the most part, I am learning to rejoice. When my family moves and gives my cat away, when I go to breakfast and there is no coffee, when I get housekeeping because I forget to line up my shoes, when I miss my family on Skype yet again, or when close friends are struggling with serious illness, I can rejoice. I can be sobbing and crying out to God, sad, heartbroken, and full of joy. Why? Because I know that my God is in control. I know that my emotions will pass, and so will my situation, and my God will still be there. In control, working things out for my good.
I know many Christians who condemn others for being sad, or confused or angry because of bad things that have happened in their lives, in fact, many have tried to convict me of such "sins", but I do not believe God wants us to deny emotions of sadness, confusion, or anger, but instead wants us to be wise in how we act on them. If I am sad, I should poor out my heart to my God, and ask for His comforting arms to hold me. If I am angry, I should rest in the knowledge that God is just, and not allow my anger to turn to bitterness or hatred. If I am confused, I should present my questions to God and ask Him for wisdom and accept that He has a plan and a purpose for my life that I may not understand this side of Heaven.
It is ok to be sad, but we should not be without hope. It is ok to be angry, but we should not be without love. It is ok to be confused, but we should not be without faith. God has given us all we need for life and godliness. He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit. We have an eternal future, and a living Hope. This life is fleeting, and so are all the emotions it brings with it. So we cannot let them control us. We need to live in light of eternity, not in light of today.
That has been hard for me this week, since it seems emotions are heightened when decisions need to be made. But my challenge this week is to not let my emotions lead me, but to lead my emotions as I follow God.
Paul the apostle continuously reminded the Philipians to rejoice. He wanted them to remember that they were able to "do all things through Christ" and to keep their focus on the things of God. But Paul was confused, and even discouraged at times. That is not a sin. The sin is when we allow those emotions to direct our actions instead of trusting God to take care of us.
So, I challenge you as well, trust in God, and do not be ruled by your emotions... even if you are not ok. Remember, God is great.
This has been a tough semester, and I have not been happy through a lot of stuff in my life, but I do have joy. It's not always the case, but for the most part, I am learning to rejoice. When my family moves and gives my cat away, when I go to breakfast and there is no coffee, when I get housekeeping because I forget to line up my shoes, when I miss my family on Skype yet again, or when close friends are struggling with serious illness, I can rejoice. I can be sobbing and crying out to God, sad, heartbroken, and full of joy. Why? Because I know that my God is in control. I know that my emotions will pass, and so will my situation, and my God will still be there. In control, working things out for my good.
I know many Christians who condemn others for being sad, or confused or angry because of bad things that have happened in their lives, in fact, many have tried to convict me of such "sins", but I do not believe God wants us to deny emotions of sadness, confusion, or anger, but instead wants us to be wise in how we act on them. If I am sad, I should poor out my heart to my God, and ask for His comforting arms to hold me. If I am angry, I should rest in the knowledge that God is just, and not allow my anger to turn to bitterness or hatred. If I am confused, I should present my questions to God and ask Him for wisdom and accept that He has a plan and a purpose for my life that I may not understand this side of Heaven.
It is ok to be sad, but we should not be without hope. It is ok to be angry, but we should not be without love. It is ok to be confused, but we should not be without faith. God has given us all we need for life and godliness. He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit. We have an eternal future, and a living Hope. This life is fleeting, and so are all the emotions it brings with it. So we cannot let them control us. We need to live in light of eternity, not in light of today.
That has been hard for me this week, since it seems emotions are heightened when decisions need to be made. But my challenge this week is to not let my emotions lead me, but to lead my emotions as I follow God.
Paul the apostle continuously reminded the Philipians to rejoice. He wanted them to remember that they were able to "do all things through Christ" and to keep their focus on the things of God. But Paul was confused, and even discouraged at times. That is not a sin. The sin is when we allow those emotions to direct our actions instead of trusting God to take care of us.
So, I challenge you as well, trust in God, and do not be ruled by your emotions... even if you are not ok. Remember, God is great.
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