Hey there bloggers. (This may post twice. I am emailing this as a test to see if I can post via email. This way, even if blogger doesn't work, I will be able to post from anywhere!!!) I wanted to say I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have had a crazy month. I was so busy preparing for my trip, and working. Then, I have been sick and well, it really doesn't matter.
So, what you really want to know is where I am on this journey with my Prince. Well, so far, I have been on this roller coaster of emotions. I am sometimes excited, sometimes terrified, and mostly just ready to go. I want to squeal in the anticipation of what I will meet on the road ahead, and cry at the sad thought of what I am leaving behind. Today was the emotional climax (so far).
In all my life, I have become very close to few people. There are four families I can think of in California (I am still in touch with them all), but most live here in the Pheonix area. I am leaving behind my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, two sisters and my parents. I am leaving behind the comforting power of my purring kitties. I am leaving behind two great church families who have come to mean more than words can testify. I am leaving behind children who I have watched grow for years. I am leaving behind two of my three closest friends, and a college group that better exemplifies the church of Acts than any congregation I have previously been part of.
But all of this is not in vain. And I say this with confidence for many reasons.
First of all, because all of you have surrounded me with love and support. Because I am following the prayers of righteous men. I am being held up in prayer like Moses. I am going with the support, not only of the people I love, but of people who love my Lord.
Secondly, I am not really leaving forever. Since I first felt called to ministry I have learned a lot about the life style of the missionary and my previous misconceptions have slowly been torn away. I want you to know that even though I call Sacramento my home town, I have learned it is not my home. Niether, though, is AZ. And niether is Peru. I am merely a visitor on this planet, and I find "home" in the company of my family, the Body of Christ. You are all my home. And one day, we will be at home together. And we will laugh at the idea of seperation, because our temporal lives will seem as only a moment.
Third, I am not alone on this journey. I go to do the work the Lord has already prepared in advance for me. I know He will be with me, and that I will always have have His Holy Comfortor, even when I feel lonely. I will not go anywhere He has not been or He has not allowed me to go. I feel confident in His calling on my life. Which leads to my final point.
I do not leave in vain, for this is a work of eternal reward. I am doing this for my God, and this is a step to show that this is not my life. I know that now. I can say that with conviction. I still try to claim it sometimes, but this life is His: I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know where I will be in ten years, five years or even a year from now, and the part of me that packed two weeks early absolutely can't stand that. And everytime, I see the face of my niece, I ask God why. But I am learning to constently empty that "me" out and replace it with the Word of God, which tells me not to even worry about tomorrow. The Word tells me that even to be hated by my family would be a blessing if it was for the glory of God, and I am much more blessed than that.
Thank you too all who have helped me get this far in my life and ministry. I love you and am more greatful than you could know this side of eternity.
My challenge: Ask yourself, and God, what you should leave behind for His sake?
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Loving my Life
Well, to start off, I had a great experience with my niece last week. She has been desperately upset with me that I am moving "far away to go to school". She has been asking me why for awhile now. I usually just say something like, "It's just something I have to do" or "Everyone goes to different schools and mine is just far." But we were driving and those answers weren't cutting it. (You see, all our important Why-Because conversations happen in the car. During a monsoon one day, she asked, "Why does it rain?" I then told her the story of the flood.)
Finally she said, "But why do you have to go to that school? I just want you to play with me every day."
"I need to do what God wants," I told her, "and God wants me to go to that school."
"Why?" I was really starting to hate that word.
"Because I the Bible tells us that we can show Jesus we love Him by doing what He wants. Part of that is playing with you and teaching you about Jesus. But there are other people who don't know about Jesus, and He wants me to tell them how much He loves them." At this point we entered a parking lot with a familiar green circular sign.
"Are we at Starbucks, now? I thought we were going to a friend's house with hamsters." And the conversation ended.
Last night, I was talking to her mom, certain my niece hated me for planning my trip. Her mom assured me that she is fine. She told her mom that I have to go because God told me to, and I have to tell other kids about Jesus. I am crying now just thinking about it. She is such a blessing!
In other news, and we know I always have other news, my life has been spinning around for the last, oh two months. Not that it was ever calm before that, but its roller coaster-ish right now. Between work, babysitting, drama, and family, I have had no time for my friends. I realize many people face the same issue, and so I feel this is a universal topic. But God showed me something great.
He reminded me of something I think I forget too easily.
God desires our happiness.
I am a fairly friendly and outgoing person, and in the absence of my dear friends (especially Masa and the newest Mrs. Reade) I have started to feel lonely. I have felt a fear that this loneliness will continue and strengthen as I go to Peru. Unfortunately, I was beginning to feel that this was God's desire; that I walk alone through this new experience.
Through this time, God has given me some new contacts with girls from my new school. One even lives in this area! And I am hoping to meet her before we leave the country. He proved His love by sending me words of unity and encouragement from others in the same situation as me.
He also brought me some older-sister figures into my life who have lead me closer to Him and held up my arms in prayer. He also grew another level in my relationship with my family that I think will keep us close as I travel the world.
Many Christians feel they must always be a martyr, suffering in their walk. They must be alone, secluded and desperate, or they aren't following God. This isn't true.
Sometimes, God does call us to a time alone with Him. Sometimes God allows such times to grow us in our faith and dependence on Him, but He never intended for us to be alone as a life style. If you don't believe me, read Paul's letter to the Philippians. He loved them, and reminded them of the importance of fellowship and unity.
Looking back, this is not the first time my Daddy God has done this for me. In fact, I have many sisters in Christ who have come into my life when I needed them most. I know that they are each gifts from God, and I am thankful that He loves us enough to bring us together in Him.
So, here's the challenge: if you have felt lonely, go out and find a godly, Christian friend who can encourage you in your faith, and remind you of God's desire to bless you. And if you are in that place, alone with God, rest in Him and see what He has for you. He is great company.
Finally she said, "But why do you have to go to that school? I just want you to play with me every day."
"I need to do what God wants," I told her, "and God wants me to go to that school."
"Why?" I was really starting to hate that word.
"Because I the Bible tells us that we can show Jesus we love Him by doing what He wants. Part of that is playing with you and teaching you about Jesus. But there are other people who don't know about Jesus, and He wants me to tell them how much He loves them." At this point we entered a parking lot with a familiar green circular sign.
"Are we at Starbucks, now? I thought we were going to a friend's house with hamsters." And the conversation ended.
Last night, I was talking to her mom, certain my niece hated me for planning my trip. Her mom assured me that she is fine. She told her mom that I have to go because God told me to, and I have to tell other kids about Jesus. I am crying now just thinking about it. She is such a blessing!
In other news, and we know I always have other news, my life has been spinning around for the last, oh two months. Not that it was ever calm before that, but its roller coaster-ish right now. Between work, babysitting, drama, and family, I have had no time for my friends. I realize many people face the same issue, and so I feel this is a universal topic. But God showed me something great.
He reminded me of something I think I forget too easily.
God desires our happiness.
I am a fairly friendly and outgoing person, and in the absence of my dear friends (especially Masa and the newest Mrs. Reade) I have started to feel lonely. I have felt a fear that this loneliness will continue and strengthen as I go to Peru. Unfortunately, I was beginning to feel that this was God's desire; that I walk alone through this new experience.
Through this time, God has given me some new contacts with girls from my new school. One even lives in this area! And I am hoping to meet her before we leave the country. He proved His love by sending me words of unity and encouragement from others in the same situation as me.
He also brought me some older-sister figures into my life who have lead me closer to Him and held up my arms in prayer. He also grew another level in my relationship with my family that I think will keep us close as I travel the world.
Many Christians feel they must always be a martyr, suffering in their walk. They must be alone, secluded and desperate, or they aren't following God. This isn't true.
Sometimes, God does call us to a time alone with Him. Sometimes God allows such times to grow us in our faith and dependence on Him, but He never intended for us to be alone as a life style. If you don't believe me, read Paul's letter to the Philippians. He loved them, and reminded them of the importance of fellowship and unity.
Looking back, this is not the first time my Daddy God has done this for me. In fact, I have many sisters in Christ who have come into my life when I needed them most. I know that they are each gifts from God, and I am thankful that He loves us enough to bring us together in Him.
So, here's the challenge: if you have felt lonely, go out and find a godly, Christian friend who can encourage you in your faith, and remind you of God's desire to bless you. And if you are in that place, alone with God, rest in Him and see what He has for you. He is great company.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Trusting in God
Dear Family and Friends—
This year has been a rollercoaster of faith and doubt for me. In September, I found out about an opportunity to serve God in Ethiopia, and I made a step of faith to go. In the months between the decision and the actual trip, I faced many doubts and fears (and even a car accident). But God proved His faithfulness over and over again to me. Through financial miracles and great sacrifices of family, friends, and even some people I have never met, God provided for me to travel across the globe and serve those who could never dream of the kind of money I spent to get there.
Since my trip to Ethiopia, I have applied and been accepted into Calvary Chapel Bible College in Lima, Peru. Throughout my life, I now see, God has used every little success and struggle to prepare me for the next task He has for me. I believe that through my studies in Peru the next two years, I will grow closer to God, and become thoroughly prepared to serve Him where He next calls me. I am trusting that God will provide for me, and my parents have been beacons of hope and pillars of strength as they remind me that our God is faithful and will never let me down.
Now, here’s the part where you come in. While I am in Peru, I will be participating in some missions projects that could cost anywhere from $130 to $450. I also recently learned of an opportunity to study for a week in Israel. I am certain God will provide for me whatever I will need, but I know that provision may come from other believers who wish to share in the blessings I am sure to experience through this service. Any amount you could spare would be greatly appreciated.
So many of you have given me so much support, spiritually and financially, in the past, and I am asking that you give now only what you feel God is asking of you and nothing more. I value your love and prayers so much more than your money, and hope that you will remember me as I continue my race to eternity.
If you would like to help me financially, please click on my Chip-In Widget (or ask me for more information).
This year has been a rollercoaster of faith and doubt for me. In September, I found out about an opportunity to serve God in Ethiopia, and I made a step of faith to go. In the months between the decision and the actual trip, I faced many doubts and fears (and even a car accident). But God proved His faithfulness over and over again to me. Through financial miracles and great sacrifices of family, friends, and even some people I have never met, God provided for me to travel across the globe and serve those who could never dream of the kind of money I spent to get there.
Since my trip to Ethiopia, I have applied and been accepted into Calvary Chapel Bible College in Lima, Peru. Throughout my life, I now see, God has used every little success and struggle to prepare me for the next task He has for me. I believe that through my studies in Peru the next two years, I will grow closer to God, and become thoroughly prepared to serve Him where He next calls me. I am trusting that God will provide for me, and my parents have been beacons of hope and pillars of strength as they remind me that our God is faithful and will never let me down.
Now, here’s the part where you come in. While I am in Peru, I will be participating in some missions projects that could cost anywhere from $130 to $450. I also recently learned of an opportunity to study for a week in Israel. I am certain God will provide for me whatever I will need, but I know that provision may come from other believers who wish to share in the blessings I am sure to experience through this service. Any amount you could spare would be greatly appreciated.
So many of you have given me so much support, spiritually and financially, in the past, and I am asking that you give now only what you feel God is asking of you and nothing more. I value your love and prayers so much more than your money, and hope that you will remember me as I continue my race to eternity.
If you would like to help me financially, please click on my Chip-In Widget (or ask me for more information).
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