The Extra 'A'

If you don't have anything nice to say, examine your heart.

2011-10-17T12:13:00.001-07:00

My nephew is sweet and loving most of the time. But he can be a terror as well. Just this morning, I put a cartoon on my computer for him, and when it was over, he howled like a dog for several minutes because I did not immediately start a new one. I was frustrated that despite the efforts of his parents, he is not content for even a moment if he does not get his way.

Without much thought I found myself saying, "I wish I could just throw a fit every time I don't get my way."

But if I was truly honest with myself, and you, my readers, I would have to admit that I also am quick to complain when things don't go my way. Whether it is waiting on something I want, or being disappointed in the actions of others, I love to complain, if not outwardly, than within myself.

I wish I could say, like Paul, that I have learned to be content, but I haven't. I am still learning. And my heart breaks over the ugliness of my sin. As I examine my heart, I realize that I have a long way to go in being like my Savior. He constantly reveals to me things that were previously hidden.

And then, as I repent, He restores me to the place I need to be. A place where I can serve and love God and others better. I can rest in His mercies and extend them to others.

My challenge, dear readers, is that this week, we come before God and ask Him to reveal our sin to us and to restore us in His mercy. Then, put that mercy on like a robe, and extend it to all those around you.

Those who are hurting, and those who are condemned, they need to see God's mercy in His people. I know I do, and I am blessed to know as many merciful people as I do. :)

Spiritual Luxury

2011-09-08T15:58:00.002-07:00

"80% of the world's people never own a Bible." I am listening to K.P. Yohannan's book, Revolution in World Missions. And this nearly blew me away. Along with this fact were listed many others related to the amount of Christian media and other "spiritual luxuries" that are available to the affluent West. The contrast of struggling people around the world with our gold-leafed Christianity is almost sickening.
I must admit, I love Christian "stuff". I love the bookmarks with Scripture embossed on them, and the cute handbags with crosses, or the T-shirts with butterflies that speak of new life. I think all these things are great. They are wonderful, actually. They encourage and uplift believers and sometimes allow for a conversation starter with others. But there is point that needs to be made, taken in, and applied.
When I lived in Peru, I was attending a small Bible College with a small bilingual library. I understood that English books were hard to find, since I was in a Spanish-speaking country, but one thing that I always found strange was that, even though we had as many Spanish-speaking students as English-speaking students (more actually), there were twice as many English books as Spanish ones.
Ignorantly, I believed for awhile that this was because the Spanish students must have access to these books in country and therefore did not need them in the school library. But I was very wrong. Several members of the congregation poured over the volumes available for hours every week. This was the place where books were available to them. And most of the books had not come from a Spanish-speaking country, but were actually printed in the United States.
I once went to a Christian book store in Lima. The limited supply of books saddened me. One of my favorite hobbies is browsing the aisles of books, movies, cds and other Christian media. And once I have collected it, I then often forget what I have or don't have.
One of the greatest blessings from my time there was the opportunity I had to bless two of my friends with Spanish translations of books I love. And I so easily forget that.
There are so many people who have never owned a Bible. I have three in my room right now. So many people don't have the gospel. Yet, we spend so much energy entertaining ourselves and each other.
So, what's the challenge? I am not writing to cause you to go sell your spiritual paraphernalia or to feel guilty for owning it. I just share this with hopes that God will remind you of how fortunate we are. And to ask you to search your heart and finances and see if you can't find more room there for God and the things He longs for.

Heart Guard on Trial

2011-08-29T10:31:00.005-07:00

There's something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I wanted to share it. It is something God is really using to draw me closer to Him in a way I never expected.

Awhile ago, something very strange happened to me. All my friends started getting married. I recently took a look around and realized that all of my closest friends are married. Sometimes this is frustrating. Sometimes, although all my friends are great about including me, and they often try to plan group activities with other single friends, I feel like an outsider. I feel like there is a whole part of life that I just don't understand.

(The funny part is that I am still so young. And a big chunk of these friends are the same age. But that is not the point... So, I won't dwell on that.)

In the midst of this frustration and some self-doubt, God brought some words of encouragement to me in the form of a book: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris. If you think that I am took passive in my "love life", read this book, and it might help you understand my point of view. In the book, Harris shares his view of romance, which is very similar to mine. A few years ago, I read When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric and Leslie Ludy, which expressed many of the same ideas.

What I love about these books most is that they showed me that I am not some freak for believing the way I do about relationships. Although I did gain insight from these authors, many of the convictions they shared in these books were ones I had already claimed as my own before cracking the binding.

I am not going to date. Period. I am going to be careful about how close I get with my male friends. I am not going to flirt, and swoon, and dress to impress just to get a guys attention. I will not be set up. I will not allow my friends, as much as I love them, to convince me that I am a freak because I am not looking for a boyfriend. I don't expect everyone to agree, or even to understand.

I look forward to being married as much as the next girl. I have imagined what it will be like to fall in love with a wonderful man who loves me. I have dreamed of the proposal, engagement and wedding, several times over. And I really do hope it happens sooner rather than later.

However, I am committed to letting God be in control of every aspect of that relationship, including the timing. I am certain that He has already written my love story, and He has given me all the patience and strength I need to live it out. I don't think God wants or needs anything from me except obedience. So, until I meet a man who I believe could be "the one", a man who shares my convictions, meets my standards and puts God first, I will be enjoying the blessing of being single.

The thing I get asked the most when discussing this topic is, "How are you going to meet that guy if you aren't putting yourself out there?"

To be honest, I don't know exactly how I will meet him. But I do know that God will bring him into my life. I am actively waiting for him. But I can almost guarantee that I haven't met him yet.

Another FAQ is, "How will you get to know him if you don't date?" Well, I will get to know him as a friend, around other people. Then, if both of us feel that God is bringing us together, the relationship will become romantic in nature. I would at that point consider going out on dates alone with him, within set boundaries.

Yes, my views are radical. No, it will not be easy. But I am convinced that it will be worth it.

I do not share this to say i have it all figured out, or even to say that God will only honor relationships/couples who follow this pattern. I merely wish to share what God has shown me, and to encourage anyone who is in the same situation.

If you are looking for a challenge, here it is: find a friend who is struggling to follow through with something God has convicted them of. Encourage them to keep faith. If you don't agree with that conviction, that's okay. Try to be understanding instead of mocking or condemning them. Edification is key among believers.

An Elephant Never Forgets

2011-08-23T12:23:00.003-07:00

Let me start my saying that I do realize that I am very young. I have yet to experience a moment in which I felt "old". But I do realize, that as we age, we develop qualities that are rather unappealing to us. One such quality is forgetfulness. This is often the cause of many jokes.

My father is very forgetful. He can't remember what you said to him yesterday or what he is supposed to do today. We blame his age for this.

My 5-year-old niece, on the other hand, has the memory of an elephant. Not only can she remember her weekly word list or her memory verse, but she also can remember what her cousin was wearing to her 3rd birthday, or that last year you promised to take her to the zoo next time you were in town. It is dangerous to try to get her to forget by promising to speak of it later or to tell her that something will happen at a certain time or under certain conditions because she will likely remember what you said better than you do.

Memory is a funny thing. The more we use it, the more we can use it. The more you practice memorization, the easier it is to memorize. So why is it, that I can memorize whole plays and quote movies and songs, but so little of God's Word is hidden in my heart?
My only honest answer is that I spend more time with the words of the world than with the Living Word. Sure, I have more verses memorized than a lot of my friends, but that is because I learned them as a young child. In recent years, I have spent little effort on memorizing Scripture, despite my practices in memorization.
I am going to challenge myself to memorize some verses, and to start, I would like you each to share a verse with me that you plan to memorize. Are you up for the challenge?

Here's my first verse:

"As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the LORD is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him." - (Psa 18:30 NASB)

Spit on

2011-07-17T13:12:00.002-07:00

Have you ever been spit on? Or slapped in the face? Or intentionally humiliated by another person? I remember one time when that happened to me. I was in seventh grade, and the one thing I wanted in life at the time was to make friends. There was a pretty popular girl at my school, and I didn't really know her, but she felt it was her duty to humiliate girls like me.

I was the type of girl who didn't really fit in. You know, acne, frizzy hair, glasses, cheap clothes, no sense of style, lanky, awkward, nerdy, walking around with a book. I was basically a target for bullying. And, on top of that, I was a sensitive, puberty stricken, 13-year-old who just wanted to be liked by the people who teased her.

Well, one day, it rained, so I wore the only jacket I owned: a snow jacket. It was big and puffy, white, and a little short in the sleeves. It had a blue fleece lining in the snap off hood. The jacket was obviously not as stylish as those of the other girls, and so, Miss Popularity decided to make it the object of a prank. At lunch time, she took a cup of peaches and poured it into the hood of my jacket. All my friends watched as she did it. No one said a word until we we done eating and headed out of the cafeteria. At that point, one of my friends stopped me just as I reached for my hood and told me what had the whole school laughing.

That was a serious low point in my life. At the time, I hated that girl. She had done something I found unthinkable, and honestly, evil. She had hurt me when I had never done anything to her.

But this week, I realized something about myself. I am no better than that girl. In some ways, I am worse. Praise God, I have never intentionally humiliated anyone, or targeted someone in order to bully them. But I have done much worse.

In my heart, and in the quiet leisurely hours of my life, I have rejected the One who only wants to be my friend. I have denied my Savior the love and honor He deserves in areas of my life. I have, in a way, spit on the face of the Man who died out of pure love for me. How easily, like Peter, I reject Him when it is convenient. How quickly, like David, I fall from a point of glory to one of shame.

It brought me to my knees in humble repentance, where I met the open arms of my Savior.

In light of all this, I come to a new revelation of the extent of God's love and grace. And in that, I experience a greater ability through Christ to love others.

A challenge now is posed to you, my dear reader. Search your heart and let God reveal to you a secret shame hidden there. Repent of that sin, and let God pour out His grace on you. Be ready for miracle. Be in awe. And then pass it on to those around you. Love them as you have been loved.

Serene Days, Blue Sky

2011-05-19T17:26:00.002-07:00

This will be a short post. I just wanted to advertise a blog I think you will enjoy.

Serene Days, Blue Sky is a new blog, created by me. The Extra 'A' was created to tell the story of my spiritual journey. It talks about events in my life as they pertain to that, but I really wanted to start a blog that focused specifically on the everyday moments with my niece and nephew now that I am living with them.

I am excited to share it with you, but still keep the two separate. So, if you have time, stop by and take a look. I hope all my faithful followers will enjoy my new blog and keep reading this as well.

The Young Slave Girl's Uncut Hair

2011-05-15T13:09:00.004-07:00

A small, scared young girl chained with others on a muddy platform waits in shame for the auction to begin. As prices are shouted out, the auctioneer jeers on the crowd with lewd suggestions of how the new owner might get his money's worth out of such a purchase. She turns her face in shame and embarrassment as the price, although significantly higher than it started, is still much lower than any human being would like to claim as their value. Then, out of nowhere, a man shouts a price, one that is so extreme that all the bidding men could live for a year without the slaves they had come intent to purchase. The man has offered to pay for all the slaves, and the auctioneer readily agrees. The slaves are handed over to the man, and he instantly removes their chains.

"You are mine, now," he says. "You can now choose to serve me, or go back to the platform and the chains."

Some of the slaves are terrified of what trick such a powerful man might try to play. Others think that he must have some alternative motive. But the small young girl looks into his eyes and sees the love that has moved him to such an action.

"I will serve you, Master," she declares in a voice stronger than one might expect. "I'm not strong, and I'm not too bright, but my life is yours. I will do whatever you ask."

In the weeks and months to come, all the slaves who had decided to serve the generous man had learned the depths of his love and care reached far beyond purchasing slaves and removing their chains. He fed them from his own table, and gave them rooms that rivaled his for comfort. He educated them, and spent quality time getting to know them individually. He sought to find tasks that suited their strengths an interests.

One day, the master of the house approached that brave young girl who had declared her loyalty. He asked her if she would be willing to do something very difficult for him. Since she had been released of her chains, she had grown out her hair. It was long and flowing, and very beautiful. Her master asked her to cut it.

Tears flowed freely down the girl's face. She didn't understand. "I thought you loved me," she said. "Why would you require something so difficult of me if you love me?"

The master's eyes were also full of tears as he responded. "It is because I love you that I ask this of you." But the girl didn't understand. And so she refused to cut her hair.

The next day, as the girl walked along the road, her hair was caught in a branch. As she worked to untangle it, she remember the master's words. But, still, she thought, a few uncomfortable moments is worth the beauty of my long locks. And so she continued to let her hair grow long.

A few months later, the girl reached her point of greatest beauty. Many suitors came seeking her hand. Never having received such attention, the young girl was easily impressed by them all. Unsure what to do, she sought advice from her master.

"You are free to choose," he told her. "Only remember what I have taught you, and that if you marry a man outside of my house, it will complicate your life greatly."

The girl knew that her master would be desperately disappointed if she chose a man outside his home, but among the suitors one man stood out. He found her lovely and told her so often. He was most impressed with her hair, and told her of how he dreamed of the life they would share.

In the end, she chose to marry him even though he lived outside her master's home.

She tried for a time to continue to serve her master while living in the home of her husband, but it became more and more difficult. Her husband was a slave in the home of a cruel master who tried to make her do terrible things for him. He beat her when she failed to please him and never even took the time to learn her name.

One day, the girl, now a woman, realized she had not seen her own master in a year's time. When she had asked her husband if she might return to her rightful owner for the day, he had grown cold to her, so she had stayed away much longer than she could have imagined. She thought back to the day her master had asked her to cut her hair and cried as she remembered his words, "It is because I love you that I ask this of you."

She now understood. He had been wise enough to see what the beauty of her tresses would lead to. The sacrifice would have been small in light of the pain she had faced. She never would have known what it had spared her. Her weeping was great in light of her foolishness. "Oh, Master, what have I done?"

The story of this slave girl is the story of many of us. I have been like the slave girl, choosing to do things my own way instead of the way of my Master. However, sometimes, I do make the right choice, and never see what my small sacrifice has spared me from. Today, I was reminded that my Master always has the best for me. I hope this story helps us all to see that.

It will not likely be physical beauty that God asks you to sacrifice. In the same way, it may not be that an unequally yoked relationship is what it leads to. But remember, any choice that leads us against God is the wrong one.

As one of my favorite teachers told me, "The only right of a slave is obedience." And if Christ is my Master, I am, by all logic, His slave. And what an honor that is.

The Waters of Belen

2011-04-04T18:47:00.002-07:00

An image comes to mind whenever I think of how God sees sin. I am taken back to about a year ago when I had my first taste of the jungle. Iquitos, Peru is a city located right on the Amazon river, and at the river's edge, there is an area of town known as Belen. (I remember finding this name ironic since it is the Spanish translation of Bethlehem.) Belen is home to the poorest of Iquitos' occupants. It is literally on the river with houses that float. The delta-like area rises and falls each season with the river bringing the houses up with it. The water is the street, yard, playground, and common area of the community. It is also the sewer. Belen's water is filthy. It stinks. It literally made me gag the first time I went out on a boat from the pier to a home where we held a children's program. When I thought about all that went on in the water, my heart went out to the children who happily swam and played in the filth.

I think that must be how God feels toward us when we indulge in sin. He knows how filthy it is and how bad it is for us, and He is saddened that we choose to remain in it. Unlike the children of Belen, we have a choice. God has saved us and brought us into His "Boat". We don't need to remain in the filth of sin we were born into. When we choose to swim in it after our eyes have been opened to it's filth, we are like fools who would put on their nicest clothing and dive into sewage.

I find myself thinking of this a lot lately as God has confronted me about some areas of sin in my life. I am going through Romans, and I am being awakened to sins I didn't realize I committed. If I remain in them, I sadden God, because He has so much better for me than the sewer I was pulled from.

Tachael's Movin' In

2011-03-24T17:31:00.002-07:00

So it's been about a month since my last post, and a lot has changed in my life. I am currently residing in CA with my brother and his family. I find myself looking for a job even as I am acting as nanny by choice. I am really enjoying it, even though it still feels like a vacation. It is like that whenever I move. It seems surreal for awhile, as if I may wake up the next morning and return to my previous home or way of life.

It is too early to miss anything of AZ yet, but I still miss Peru, and I know I will miss the rest of my family and my church soon. I am praying to get plugged in here soon, and discover why God has called me out here. I am sure He has something for me. He is so faithful and always comes through for me, often in ways I could never have planned or imagined.

I am already learning a lot about my niece and nephew. It is different when you live with children than when you visit them or they visit you. When you live with them, you have to set clear boundaries and expectations. You have to step back and let their parents be in charge without letting them think they can get away with murder when you are in charge. It's a fine line to walk, and I am praying to keep my balance so that I am not caught off guard by the 2- and 5-year-old who knock on my door at all times of day and night.

I love them so much, and I enjoy them more than I could say, so I am praying that we can find a way to live at peace without them being spoiled. :)

On being an adult.

2011-02-24T09:35:00.002-07:00

I am now 22 years old. I feel as if this is a significant marker. Maybe I should have felt this way at 21, or 18. But I didn't. I suddenly find myself looking at my immediate future with a practical eye. Before, I often took on the far away future with plans and dreams. But now I realize, maybe because of maturity, or simply because my life has faced one change after another for the last two years, that I must make responsible adult decisions in order to be a responsible adult.

My family is going through a time of change right now, and that means my life is changing too, but I am reminded in such times how constant my God is.

The other day, I picked up my Bible and was going to turn to Romans, where I have been studying, but then decided to seek comfort in the book of Psalms. I read Psalm 86, not for the first time, but with new eyes. David's prayer became my own, as I imagined my spiritual battle, and remembered the attributes of God.

"(1) A Prayer of David. Incline Your ear, O LORD, and answer me; For I am afflicted and needy. (2) Preserve my soul, for I am a godly man; O You my God, save Your servant who trusts in You. (3) Be gracious to me, O Lord, For to You I cry all day long. (4) Make glad the soul of Your servant, For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. (5) For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You. (6) Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; And give heed to the voice of my supplications! (7) In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You, For You will answer me. (8) There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord, Nor are there any works like Yours. (9) All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord, And they shall glorify Your name. (10) For You are great and do wondrous deeds; You alone are God. (11) Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name. (12) I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever. (13) For Your lovingkindness toward me is great, And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol. (14) O God, arrogant men have risen up against me, And a band of violent men have sought my life, And they have not set You before them. (15) But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth. (16) Turn to me, and be gracious to me; Oh grant Your strength to Your servant, And save the son of Your handmaid. (17) Show me a sign for good, That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed, Because You, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me." - Psa 86:1-17 NASB

How amazing God is! And how quickly I forget. I was so stressed and confused about my situation, but this psalm brought me peace. It helped me remember that my plans are safe in the hands of the Lord, and that if my decision is to follow Him I cannot fail. I asked for "a sign for good" and He gave it to me. Now, I am moving in a new direction with my life, God as my guide. He has always come through for me, and I am choosing to trust in Him as I take each step in faith.

Lovely: Defined

2011-01-13T12:14:00.002-07:00

So, I have so many things in my brain right now. Hopefully I can sort through them and share more in the months ahead. But right now I find that God is teaching me so much in one area of my life and I want to share that with you, my friends.

I was very excited when my friend Teddy told me about how the high school girls were studying the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians. Each girl was given a fruit to study. They looked up the word in the dictionary and then in their Bibles. They were also given the challenge of applying what God had taught them about the word and then sharing it with all the youth group girls. Each week for the past few months, a different girl has shared after church on Sunday.

KC, who leads the 7th grade girls' small group thought those girls and my 8th-graders should join the fun. I agreed. So we decided to pick some words for them to study. Our words came from Philippians chapter 4.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - (Phl 4:8 NASB)

Their words are: true, honorable, right, etc. We even picked some synonyms that are used in other translations. I have challenged my girls to find out what God has to say about their words for months now, almost forgetting that I chose a word of my own: lovely.

According to this verse, I should be dwelling on lovely things. I haven't ever really thought about what the word lovely means before, but I can tell you that I don't often dwell on lovely things as I should. Feeling convicted, but also ready to be done with my less than lovely thoughts and to live in the fullness of what God has for me, I started a journey this week to discover loveliness...

As I began my Sunday drive to church, I tried to think of my own definition of lovely. I think God's creation is lovely. I think that what God has done for me is lovely, saving me, blessing me with family and friends, protecting me from heart ache I have seen others experience, bringing me through tough times of my own. That is lovely. I also think that I know some very lovely people: my niece, my parents, my sisters, my friends from Bible College, the wives of my pastors. Lovely, inside and out.

I was not wrong in my assessment of the loveliness in my life. But I realized when I looked deeper that I had missed a lot. Webster defines lovely as "delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace". I like that. I am to think on things that God would define as "delightful for beauty, harmony or grace."

This led me back to Scripture. I have a long list of things that God sees as lovely. Things He delights in. I want to delight in these things and dwell on them. Here are just of few of those things:

God’s dwelling places (Ps 84:1); His name (Ps 135:3); The feet of him who brings good news (Is 52:7); The Son of Man (Ez 33:32); Wisdom’s crown (Pr 4:8-9); Timely advice (Prov25:11); Songs of thanksgiving (Is 51:3); Gifts God gives His people (Ez 16:11,12,16); Sacrifice (Ez 16:19); Music (Amos 5:23).

God sees me as lovely, also. I know this because He calls many of His servants lovely, and the Bible refers to many women as lovely. God even refers to His people as outwardly lovely while they are in sin. However, there is a contrast between that loveliness and the loveliness that delights Him.

The Bible talks plainly about this issue in the book of Proverbs. A lovely home is pointless if the mistress is contentious (Pr 21:9; 25:24), and a lovely woman who lacks indiscretion is like a ring of gold in a pig’s snout (Pr 11:22)… I don’t want that. I don't want to be contentious or indiscreet. I want to be lovely in all ways. And that starts by thinking on lovely things.

My challenge (I know it's been awhile since I challenge my blog readers or myself), this week my challenge is to find something lovely to dwell on. When your thoughts begin to stray into less than lovely areas, seek out the loveliness of God and allow His Spirit to transform your mind into one that delights the Lord because it is full of beauty, harmony with God, and His grace.

2010: It was fun, but I wouldn't do it again.

2010-12-31T16:26:00.004-07:00

So, I failed the blogging thing. At least for awhile. I am not going to set goals, or try to make up for it... I am just going to update when I feel like it. With that said, let the blogging commence.

It's New Year's Eve, and I can hardly believe it. My sister and I were just trying to remember what we did on this day last year. Fail. We can't remember... but that's ok because today isn't about remembering last year's party, but about remembering the great things of 2010, good and bad, and looking forward to next year.

2010 was a crazy year for me. Half of it was spent in Peru... There I did many things I never imagined I would. I swam in the Amazon. I went sandboarding. I worked as a translator. It was crazy.

The other half was spent here, and "ordinary life" has been rather surreal. I have been doing other things I never imagined. I took Bible College classes online. I have helped in the youth group as a small group leader, and in the church office as a volunteer. I learn something new each week.

This year I have learned a lot.

I have learned what it means to be part of a family.

I have learned to let go of my dreams, and hold on to my faith.

I have learned to cook some, and that I am never going to be a chef.

I have learned to let my guard down, and to guard my heart.

I have learned that love comes in many forms, but the love of God surpasses any of them.

I have learned that joy is a choice, and must be chosen daily.

I have learned to make a bed perfectly, and the value of submission and humility over proper cleaning technique.

I have learned that I am more full of weakness than I thought possible, and more full of possibility than I could have dreamed.

I have learned that I can live in God's presence, and that my failure doesn't offend Him only sadden Him.

This year I have wept and laughed, made new friends and reconnected with old ones.

I gained family in a place far from home, and learned to be at home wherever my family is.

It was one of the hardest years of my life, but I thank God for His grace that brought me through.

Next year, I have one goal, to know God and love Him more.

That, and get a job... that is my current goal.

If I learn even a fraction as much as I did this year, it will be a good year.

Better late and Thankful, than early and... not Thankful.(?)

2010-11-30T10:29:00.002-07:00

So, I didn't do the 30 days of Thanksgiving challenge that I usually do... But I was reminded to be thankful quite a bit in this month of Thanksgiving. I was especially thankful this month for my family. I love them entirely too much to just be thankful once a year, but this Thanksgiving was vary special, and I am so glad we got to share it.

Thanksgiving has always held a special place in my heart. I have memories from as early as 5 or 6 years old, enjoying a big family dinner at my Grammy's house with my mom's extended family. I loved everything about the holiday, even then. I love the food, the fact that all Christmas related activities seem to commence the next day. I love a lot of loud people all shoved into one house with the mixed smell of a burning pine log and a cooking turkey. I love the car ride through the streets lined by orange and red leaves.

When we moved to AZ and far from such things as trees and fall, and my extended family, Thanksgiving was kind of depressing for a few years. And last year, I was in another country, so it was very hard to be away from my family on Thanksgiving.

This year, however, was probably the best Thanksgiving I have ever had... and we celebrated on Saturday. My parents, all my siblings, and their families gathered at my brother's new home in Bakersfield. We stayed a few days and enjoyed food, fellowship and general Thanksgiving-ness. I held my niece and nephew close and explained why we celebrate this holiday. I told them how much they are loved and how thankful we are for them. I celebrated my family and was blown away by the faithfulness of God.

I love Thanksgiving.

We had an amazing meal, and an amazing time. I hope I never forget it. I think this was the first year I really celebrated Thanksgiving to the full extent.

I learned something this Saturday. Thanksgiving is not a day. It is an attitude of your heart. It is a conscious choice made to celebrate the blessings in your life. To feast and reflect and enjoy all that God has given. To be truly thankful. It is a special time set aside to do that and only that. I am glad it is such a big event annually so that we can make it so important and special, but we should really be full of thanksgiving each day.

So, today, I am thankful for the opportunity to share on this blog, and all that this blog has given back to me, through you, my readers.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters?

2010-11-18T23:35:00.002-07:00

Who do you go to with your problems? A close friend? Your mom? A sister? A neighbor? Do you go to your pastor? To a counselor? To your spouse?

Today someone said something to me that hurt my feelings. I responded in kind. The conversation that had started innocently enough became a heated argument in short time. To quench the anger, I remember (a little too late) what I learned in a Bible Study about not talking when I am angry. So I ended the argument by leaving the conversation, not as nicely as I should have.

Then, I had a decision. What do I do with this anger? I turned to the closest person to me and began to spew all my justification for my anger. This wise and godly person did exactly the thing that anyone should in the situation; this person told me to shut up.

The truth is it wasn't that third party's business what happened between me and the second party. Counsel from my godly adviser was heeded, but I was still boiling over with hurt feelings and I just felt like I had to tell someone. I knew to tell anyone would be gossip and would likely only escalate my already raging emotional state.

Finally, I did what I should have done initially, way back before responding to the hurtful statement. I went to God.

I was reminded that my job as a Christian is to reflect God to the world around me. When people hurled insults on the Son of God, He responded by dieing for them. He literally laid Himself down for them as they killed Him. Knowing this, I should easily humble myself before a flippant comment.

So, I did the last thing I wanted to do in that situation. I swallowed my pride and apologized. Unfortunately, some damage was already done, and my pride wanted to keep rearing its head. But the situation slowly began to turn around. I still have a lot to learn, and I still have a lot of apologizing to do. But I think we are well on our way in the right direction.

So next time you are faced with an unkind word from a friend, or a bad situation at work, who will you turn to? You may eventually need to seek out advice from a godly person, like my adviser who told me to zip it, but first seek out the Counselor that has been sent to you. He has all wisdom and gives it freely to all who ask.

He is a great listener, and always has the right answer. He never lies, even when the truth isn't what we want to hear. He will comfort you, and then, humble you so you can be perfected.

It's a painful process, but the results are glorious.

Happy Birthday Brother Bear!

2010-10-11T12:08:00.006-07:00

So, I should have posted this yesterday, but I was too depressed about the fact that I was missing yet another of my nephews birthdays. I am still a little sad about that, but I am choosing to accept that there is a lesson in all of this and that God has allowed this in order to accomplish something good in me.

But let me tell you the story of our little Sky-bear. He was born one Friday afternoon two years ago. I was away at a Women's Retreat with the ladies of Calvary Chapel Surprise. But instead of enjoying my time as a grape in our skits, I was worrying about my beloved Stephani and the baby that she had carried less than 8 months. I was wishing I could be bringing my brother coffee as he paced the waiting room, or reading books to my niece and teaching her to pray for her new brother. Logically, I knew that my presenc

e wouldn't help my nephews lungs develop, or help my sister-in-laws liver function. But somehow, I felt, if I could be there, they would be better. I could help. I could DO something.

That Sunday, as soon as I was back in town, I rushed home, packed an over-night bag and headed to the hospital to take care of the new mom while daddy went to work. I brought her water, and wheeled her down to the nursery. We laughed and tried not to worry about the fragile boy who was more connected than my laptop. I was allowed to change his diaper, allowing me more contact than my sisters or parents had been allowed so far, and in that moment, as his little read legs kicked and his little chest rose and fell with his gasping breaths, my heart melted.

Please save him, Lord, I prayed. I don't think I could live without him.

About two weeks later, Skyler James went home to a new house, two loving parents, and a doting three year old sister. His parents and doctors constantly monitored his breathing and heart rate. Every sneeze caused fear, and every cough brought panic. He had many doctor's visits, and again I prayed. Please keep him, Lord. We need this little boy.

By Thanksgiving, he was a mostly healthy baby boy. He had made it to his due date. He was breathing normally, and his monitors were no longer needed. By Christmas, he was gaining weight, and by the time I said goodbye in August of the next year, he was in the 90th percentile for non-premature babies.

Now, he's two. He's got a huge smile, and a personality to match. Every time I look into his big blue-green eyes, my heart melts all over again. And every time I hear his uproarious laugh, I am reminded of the miracle of his life. And I breathe a different prayer. Thank you, Lord, for this little boy. Thank you, for letting me be part of his life.

I am truly blessed to be part of this miracle. This is for you, Sky. Your Tee loves you.

The Best Roommate I Ever Had

2010-10-04T10:29:00.002-07:00

So, my blog used to be fun and inspiring, and weekly. I don't know what happened to that. But let's try and get it back, shall we. First of all, let me say, I love my sister.

I have had great roommates at Bible College and on various trips in my life at different times, but let me say, my sister Leah is my all time favorite. Why? I am not exactly sure. But I have a few reasons why she shouldn't be.

She sometimes locks me out of the room (not on purpose), and then goes to sleep.

I sometimes trip over her stuff.

When upset, she gets quiet, and won't talk about it.

I like to talk about things.

She stays up late most of the time, and wakes up early some of the time.

Our room is tiny.

I have more stuff than her, and therefore feel bad in comparison.

However, she is my sister. We have shared a room for most of our lives. We know each other so well that we rarely can stay upset with each other.

We both love Jesus.

We both love punk rock.

We are the only people who have ever understood the point of the question: Why would you staple dirt to your feet if you are levitating?

We often laugh at stupid things that nobody else understands.

We like to entertain ourselves with Strong Bad Emails.

We have a lifetime of memories and stories.

We have random conversations about languages and scifi.

Life outside the Bible College bubble

2010-09-22T09:58:00.003-07:00

It's been quite awhile since my last post. And I must admit that is mostly because I've had a bad attitude. I was doing some traveling, and I did get sick a couple times. But mostly I've been avoiding the whole self-reflection/seeking God/revealing my heart to others thing. Not to say that I have fallen into some deep pit of sin and depression, but just that I have felt pretty blah and didn't feel like sharing my blah-ness with those who read this regularly.

I am going to admit that I had some plans for coming home from Peru and jumping right back into my old life, but that didn't happen. My old life is gone. Logically, I knew this would be the case, but I somehow hoped I was different than everybody else. Not so, Rachael, not so. You too have a new life full of uncertainties and challenges. And I am finding that I have just as many here as I had there.

I came expecting to get a job... I had no idea that my job would be as an unpaid family chauffeur since my parents, younger sister and I share two cars and have crazy schedules.

I came expecting to help my brother and sister-in-law take care of the two cutest kids known to man... I had no idea that after just one month of being home they would move to California.

I came expecting to jump back into all my ministries and Bible studies and social engagements... I had no idea how difficult that would be without a car and a cell phone, especially living half an hour from where I lived before.

My life is not the same as I expected... my dad says, "Welcome to adulthood." And I guess he's right. I'm 21. I'm a senior in college. I have responsibilities. I have challenges. But I have Jesus, too. And I am not giving up.

I my not have known what I would encounter as I landed in PHX on that 747 and walked down the familiar carpet to where I would be reunited with my family. But God knew. He knew that I would struggle with the unknown and eventually find comfort in His arms. He knew I would stubbornly refuse to accept any reality I had not planned until it was just too hard to keep going. He knew that I would find true joy in driving my sister to school, and in serving two days a week at my church. He knew I would need only the couple friends I could still reach, even though I still want 100. He knew that a piece of my heart would leave as I kissed my niece and nephew goodbye and hugged my sister-in-law tight. He knew all this.

I have come to believe that most of my expectations are silly, and pointless, but God allows me to have them. He uses them to get me to move in the direction He calls me. Then, He allows me to be humbled by them when I am disappointed. And just when I think I can take no more disappointment, He steps in with beautiful surprises and proves His glorious faithfulness once again.

Welcome to my life. This is it. A series of expectations, disappointments and surprises. It's not easy, and sometimes not pretty, but always worth it. Because no matter how many times I let myself down, my God never fails.

One More Day...

2010-08-02T09:14:00.002-07:00

Today, I crawled out of bed around 9:30 am. My nose running, and my mouth dry, hating the cool air on my arms and ever-so-grateful for my socks and extra blankets, I didn't exactly spring into action. I was up half the night try to figure out how to do what the medicine I took was supposed to. But, despite my current lack of health, I found myself rather joyful this morning. If you are asking why, then you must not realize how much I have been looking forward to this day.
Today, I celebrate one more time waking up in a city I have come to love.
Today, I get to return to one I have learned to call home.
Today, I will enjoy one more day with those who have become my family over the last year.
Today, I head into the arms of those I have missed all the while.
Today, I have one more day serving God in a different culture.
Today, I can step back into the familiar.
Today, I speak Spanish for one more day in a country that claims it with pride.
Today, I will speak English again without fear of being misunderstood.
Today, I have one more day. I have been blessed beyond measure to live this day to its fullest and to joyfully embrace the place God has me, all-the-while looking ahead with gladness at what tomorrow holds.
I have one more day in Lima, Peru, and one more day to serve my Lord. Today is special. It's one more day to do what I was created for.
So, I will not allow my cold symptoms to stop me as I say good bye to all my dear friends. I must admitt, I am not sad to leave. I am thrilled. I have had a very hard time smiling with the few goodbyes I've said. I am ready for the next step. I am ready to walk in God's good, pleasing and perfect will.
I just want to share a passage that has meant a lot to me this week, thinking about all the people who have continued to support me on this journey:

[3] I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, [4] always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, [5] in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. [6] For I am confident of this very
thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of
Christ Jesus. [7] For it is only right for me to feel this way about you
all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in
the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace
with me. [8] For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the
affection of Christ Jesus. [9] And this I pray, that your love may abound
still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, [10] so that you
may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and
blameless until the day of Christ; [11] having been filled with the fruit of
righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of
God. - Philippians 1:3-11 NASB

I am so pleased to know that my journey is not over. God has so much more to teach me, and so many more works for me to walk in. And I am so excited to go where ever He leads.

Our equipo in Arequipa

2010-07-25T12:08:00.003-07:00

I, along with seven of my friends from Lima, was able to spend a great week in Arequipa with a team of young people from 5 churches from Virginia and North Carolina. We had a blast as we ministeredalong side Pastor Efrain and his church. We dug in the dirt, ate at a fancy restaraunt and experienced pretty much everything in between. This was a great trip for this group because it showed them a great variety of what Peru's mission field looks like.
I was happy to take part in their experience, and get to know yet another famous peruvian site. The team was amazed at arriving to Arequipa to find that those of use from Lima thought it especially clean and green. They almost cringed at the thought of something bigger, dirtier, and less green. I, loviing Lima as I do, basked in the sunshine we were able to enjoy as we went about our Father's business.
We shared Jesus in parks and schools, helped at a construction site for a new church, and came alongside the coffee shop ministry there. It was a blessing for me to see these young teens work so hard. I was refreshed in my spirit and reminded why I love ministry.
This summer has been a great struggle for me, and many of my close friends and family know. As much as I love Peru, this summer, my heart has been in Arizona and what is waiting for me there. On my trip to Arequipa, God gently reminded me that He has called me here for a reason. I am here to serve Him. I need to be focused on Him, not my ministry even, but on my God, my beloved.
With that said, I have one week left here in Lima, to enjoy my city and my friends before heading from the middle of winter, to mansoon season (God save me). I am planning to enjoy it. I know my next blog will be the better time to share this verse I have, but, just in case, I thought I'd share it now. This is a verse for the children's ministry team at CC Surprise, for my family, and for my fellow missionaries here. I came accross it last week while reading ahead during a team devo (shhhh... don't tell on me).
1 Thessalonians 2:17 -- "But we, brethren, having been taken away from you for a short while—in person, not in spirit—were all the more eager with great desire to see your face." (NASB)
This is my thought for you all. Though we are temporarily separated, my thoughts and prayers are with you. In fact, by that separation, my love for you is not weakened. On the contrary. My desire to be with you is even greater. I am excited to hear more about what God has done in my absense and to share what He has done in and with me.
God bless, and I'll see you soon. Very soon

I know we've come so far, but we've got so far to go.

2010-07-11T12:52:00.003-07:00

As the time grows closer for me to leave Peru, I am beginning to realize how much I will miss this place. My life has been here for the last year. And being here I have learned a lot. But what means the most to me is something that I faced again this week. As much as I know and as much as I have grown, I still have a long way to go.
The other day, I was upset about something silly, and I justified my anger.
I often let my mind dwell on thoughts I shouldn't.
I sometimes get lazy and ignore a simple task that God would have me complete.
More often than not, I need to repent of my attitude when making beds or getting up earlier than I want to.
These are just a few of the sins that are hideous to God. I am learning to hate them to. I want to hate my sin as much as God does so that I can become the woman He wants me to be. I want to be more like His Son who stands between me and Him. I want to be worthy of the Name that I hold. I want to be able with Paul to say that I have done all that God has asked of me.
That is my goal. And that is my challenge to you this week. If you have just realized your need for a Savior, or if you have been walking with our Lord for years, there is still so much more that God wants to change in you. Sanctification is a process... it's sometimes painful, sometimes ugly, but always worth it.
Next week I am going to Arequipa. Pray for me, that God would use me and the team to do His work. I will be back in Lima for just a few weeks after that. See you soon. :)

Independence Day

2010-07-04T13:12:00.004-07:00

As I strolled down the streets of Magdalena with my red scarf, red socks and patriotic t-shirt, the familiar sting of disappointment hit me. Once again, I am missing out on something very American because I am in another country. All week long, I have been humming patriotic songs and thinking of fireworks and hot dogs. But today, I am here, alone in my room, without any patriot plans of my own. But then, in the midst of my pity party, I am reminded, once again, why I am here.
I am not here, in Peru to tell Peruvians how great my country is, or to share apple pie and pot roast with their unenlightened taste buds. I am not here to prove to them that showering while sick does not lead to instant death. I am not here to prove that not all people from the USA are unable to speak a second language.
I am here because this is where God sent me. He wants me to share His love with these people. To tell them that He sent His Son to die for them, and that Jesus Christ is the only intercessor between God and man.
Last week, a group of amazing young people came from Chino Valley, California, and I got the privilege of serving as one of four translators on their trip to Ica, Peru. Ica is awesome. It's a little city on the northern tip of the world's driest desert. I felt right at home. :) I got to know these people with a love for the Lord as we helped Pastor Robin and his wife, Traci who serve at Iglesia Christiana Koinonia Ica. I was blessed beyond measure to see God use my Spanish in ways I couldn't imagine. I spoke to people of all ages, including a 90 year old abuela who was proud of her ability to wander around without an escort.
I may never see any of these amazing people I am getting the opportunity to know again this side of heaven, but the instant bond of friendship between believers never ceases to amaze me. I would trade every holiday from now til the Millennium to keep serving my God wherever He calls me. His blessings are much better than any 4th of July parade or block party.
And as proud as I am to be an American and as grateful as I am for that blessed freedom we celebrate today, it cannot compare to the freedom I have in Christ Jesus.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

2010-06-20T20:20:00.003-07:00

Today was Father's Day! The reason this post is going up so late is that I spent hours talking to my family today. I am totally in love with them, in case I haven't made that clear. I missed them like crazy. But my God is so good that He knew that they were what I needed today.
I have a great father. He loves me and cares for me. He is always concerned about me and my siblings and our well being physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I often call him my human concordance. He is the source of most of my knowledge. And since being in college, I have come to love him more.
But if I ever had to choose between my earthly father, and my Heavenly Father, I would take the second. I am so blessed that God has given me parents who love Him as much as I do. But I know that my God loves me more than my parents do.
I would be temporarily paralyzed without my dad, but I know that I will live with him forever in eternity. I think that's why its easier for me to say goodbye for a few months or years. I miss him terribly, along with the rest of my family, but in light of eternity, what's six more weeks.
My prayer is that this Father's Day, you all experience a little piece of the Father's love and get to know Him better. He wanted to be your Father so bad, He watched His Son die. I can't imagine love like that, but I feel it sometimes... it's overwhelming.

Story Time

2010-06-06T14:18:00.002-07:00

Hello and welcome to Story Time with Rachael. Today's story is about a beautiful girl who was outcast but lovable. She had a terrible life and wanted something she couldn't have. So, she followed her heart and chased her dreams and lived happily ever after. Sound familiar? That's the basic storyline of every fairy tale and children's story I've ever heard/read/seen. It sounds great. Inspirational. Empowering. But guess what, it's completely unbiblical.
The Bible tells us that our hearts are decietful and desperately wicked. It tells us that they are perverted by our sin and are the source of our evil desires. Our dreams are the result of selfish ambition. And wanting what we don't have to the point that we would do anything to get it is called coveteousnous and is breaking the tenth commandment.
The world we live in is full of ideas that are contrary to the Word of God, but many times we openly accept them into our lives and even encourage them in the lives of others. We need to be careful.
I am sharing this because in my life I am often tempted to follow my heart, but if I do, I usually end up hurt and confused. If I follow after God's heart, my desires become His, and I can lead my heart into true joy.
I have a dear friend who is a great example of that to me. She encourages me to continue to seek after God's heart.
Right now, my wicked heart is selfishly desiring to sleep in every morning. It desires to take advantage of the kindness of others in order to fill my stomach and my social appitite. It desires to seek after worldly success and the things that the world tells me I need.
But God's heart tells me to serve others. It tells me to go out of my way to be kind to them. It tells me to spend time alone seeking His face and learning to know Him more. It tells me to seek after the heavenly prize and crowns that I will gain for giving of myself to live for Him.
This is a constant battle. In small things and great. Many times we forget that God's heart is pure and perfect, full of plans for us. We can trust Him with our heart, and He will remove our desires and replace them with His, but we have to seek after His kingdom, and its righteousness first. Or else we will end up hurt and confused.

My prospective plans

2010-05-30T20:39:00.002-07:00

This week flew by. My Spanish is improving, and I think I am learning a lot more about Peruvian culture. Soon, Mission teams from the States will be arriving. Please pray for me, that God will give me the ability to do all that may be required, whether that is just waking up early to make them breakfast, or accompanying them on trips to other parts of Peru as a translator. These are some of the things I have already been asked to do. I am sure that this will be a whole new kind of experience for me, and I am especially nervous about the translation. I know that God likes to use weak and despised things, so I will have to find my confidence in Him.
Also, please pray for Pastor John Bonnor, and his wife, Pilar as they travel across three continents this month. They will celebrate their anniversary (along with my parents) this week, while they are visiting their son in California. Then, the whole family is headed to Germany for their daughter's wedding.
The church here will be without their head pastor for that time, but we have a few great leaders here to keep things running smoothly.
Thanks to everyone who has supported me. Soon, I hope to get back to a weekly challenge. I will have to set aside more time for prayer and reflection next time I write one of these. I am looking forward so much to returning to the States in August, but even more to living the life God has for me each day as I wait for Him to show me His will.

A quick recap of my week

2010-05-23T17:46:00.003-07:00

So, last week I took a class in Spanish. I am amazed at how well I did. I got no credit for it, but it was worth it to sit in and learn. My brain is so packed with Spanish vocabulary and gramar rules that I think it may burst. I am very thankful for my English speaking friends, and also for all the people here who have been so patient with me.
I thought that last week would be my break. A week off. But it wasn't, and I am glad. I am keeping busy. I have helped Ivy, one of the staff members, and my dear friend, with some of her office work. And I am getting ahead on my Chuck Tracks. I have also been spending time with my buddy Shirley and her mom. I am planning to attend the Women's Bible Study on Tuesday mornings, as well. So, there are no plans to slow down soon.
Besides which, since there are not a bunch of students, there is no chef... which means I have to buy and prepare my own meals. I am learning the value of the dollar (and the sole). Today I was so excited because it was my first chance to do my own laundry here in Peru. (I know that sounds silly, but when you pay a certain amount per load, it's exciting to do 5 for less than half that price.)
All-in-all, my life is exciting. God is teaching me things I would have never expected to learn during this time. I can't hardly wait until the teams start showing up from the States and I can speak English and eat good food again. :) But for now, I really do love a room to myself and a flexible schedule.
I also would like to share with those who don't already know that I am returning to Arizona in August. I am excited to see my family and try a semester online. It should be a good time in the Lord continuing my preparation for real life in ministry. See you all then.

Don't Say, "Goodbye"

2010-05-16T18:15:00.003-07:00

Like most people, I hate goodbyes. They are funny things. I think we can learn a lot about our relationships with other people in how we say goodbye. In Acts, Paul said a very sad goodbye to the leaders of the church in Ephesus. They were all weeping. It was a sad occasion because they loved him, and they didn't want to see him go.
There are some people who I got to watch leave this weekend who were loved like Paul. Because of their great ministry and fellowship here in Lima, it was hard to see them go. Some people had sad goodbyes, knowing they may never return to this city, and may not see some of the people they have come to love so dearly. Some people left hopeful, expecting to return soon, parting with short hugs and lots of See-you-soons.
I realize now how much I love each of the students who have made up the body that was CCBC Lima this semester. As I said goodbye, and thought that I may never see them this side of heaven, my eyes began to water, and my chest got heavy. This summer, and next semester, I will miss my girls.
I will miss Ina. The lighthearted joy that she used to illuminate each room she entered. I will miss her cute style and her knowledge of Japanese culture that was appreciated by man a Peruvian.
I will miss Lauren (who has not yet left) and her beautiful smile, that rarely departs from her face. I will miss her desire to encourage and to love all who let her in. I will miss her simple faith and easy friendship.
I will miss Rosalie. She was someone who I didn't know that well last semester, but who I have come to love more each day. She is beautiful inside and out, and I love to see how the Lord is continuously using her willingness to serve Him and others.
I will miss Emily, my roommate. I will miss her great mix of North and South American culture that allowed for a great bridge between the two worlds. I will miss our late night conversations and our after lunch naps. I will miss her desire to serve God and to glorify Him in her weakness.
I will miss Andrea. I will miss her desire to make friends with those who are so different from her. I will miss her honesty, and her Colombian sense of humor that lightened many awkward situations. I will miss her ability to find beauty in anyone.
I will miss Lara. I will miss her love of knowledge, and her personality. I will miss her willingness to do whatever may be necessary. I will miss her care that she easily gives to be our nurse-at-hand in the jungle or on the beach. I will miss her... but not yet; she is here til July.
I will miss Holly. I will miss her love for Peru, and for the girls. I will miss her desire to see herself grow into a woman who can be used by God. I will miss her desire to see others have the same opportunity.
I will miss Carolina. I will miss her quiet smile, that sometimes bursts into uproarious laughter. I will miss her sweetness and her beauty. I will miss her morning greetings that didn't make me wish for a second cup of coffee before replying.
I will miss Megan, my sweet friend from Flagstaff. I have come to love her like a sister, and seen her grow. I will miss her crazy dancing, and her desire to serve others. I will miss her silly secrets and laughter. I will miss her rebuke and honesty that has caused me to grow, and her quick forgiveness.
I will miss my Shirley! I will miss our wordless conversations across the table. I will miss her forgetfulness, and her easygoing personality. I will miss my companion who loves food and sleep as much as I do. I will miss our Saturday trips to the bakery and walks to her mom's house. I will miss our times spent teaching each other our language and our culture. I will miss her knowing exactly when there is something wrong.
I will miss my girls. I know God has great things for each of them, and that one day we will share our stories of His great work in and through us. I can hardly wait.

Happy Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-09T15:54:00.002-07:00

Hey, all my blog friends. This is gonna be a short post... mostly because I need to leave for church soon. My life has been crazy! The semester ends this week, and with so many changes going on at home, my plans are continuously changing, as well. I wish I could say that I am a confident in what the next step of my life is, but I am not sure what I will doing in a few weeks time.
Please pray for me and my family as we make some important decisions and await important information that will greatly affect how much time I will have left in Peru. I am so thankful for all of the encouragement I have from all of you.
I want to say a special thank you to all my family who has supported me through all the ups and downs of this semester. Also, to all of you who have prayed for me. I am eternally indebted.
I also want to add that I have a great Mom who I love more than my life. She has sacrificed so much for me and been through so much for me. I could never say thank you enough. I don't know why God gave you to me, Mom, but I am thankful for His grace in putting our family together like He did, and I know He is working everything out for our good and His glory.
God bless you, and have a great Mother's Day.
Rachael Out.

Are you ok?

2010-05-02T14:25:00.002-07:00

There is something I like to say when my emotions seem to be overwhelming me. "Why did God make emotions so big and people so small?" Everyone has those days, or sometimes weeks, or months, when you hear the question, "Are you ok?" and want to say, "No! I'm not ok. I feel like screaming right now. I am dying inside." But instead you say, "Yeah, I'm great." Then you force a smile, and remind yourself that you have to work hard to make everyone believe you if you want them to think you are alright. But, I personally, try to avoid that. Not by walking around weeping and wailing, but by being honest if I'm not ok. And also, by rejoicing in the Lord despite my circumstances. I think it is possible to do both.
This has been a tough semester, and I have not been happy through a lot of stuff in my life, but I do have joy. It's not always the case, but for the most part, I am learning to rejoice. When my family moves and gives my cat away, when I go to breakfast and there is no coffee, when I get housekeeping because I forget to line up my shoes, when I miss my family on Skype yet again, or when close friends are struggling with serious illness, I can rejoice. I can be sobbing and crying out to God, sad, heartbroken, and full of joy. Why? Because I know that my God is in control. I know that my emotions will pass, and so will my situation, and my God will still be there. In control, working things out for my good.
I know many Christians who condemn others for being sad, or confused or angry because of bad things that have happened in their lives, in fact, many have tried to convict me of such "sins", but I do not believe God wants us to deny emotions of sadness, confusion, or anger, but instead wants us to be wise in how we act on them. If I am sad, I should poor out my heart to my God, and ask for His comforting arms to hold me. If I am angry, I should rest in the knowledge that God is just, and not allow my anger to turn to bitterness or hatred. If I am confused, I should present my questions to God and ask Him for wisdom and accept that He has a plan and a purpose for my life that I may not understand this side of Heaven.
It is ok to be sad, but we should not be without hope. It is ok to be angry, but we should not be without love. It is ok to be confused, but we should not be without faith. God has given us all we need for life and godliness. He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit. We have an eternal future, and a living Hope. This life is fleeting, and so are all the emotions it brings with it. So we cannot let them control us. We need to live in light of eternity, not in light of today.
That has been hard for me this week, since it seems emotions are heightened when decisions need to be made. But my challenge this week is to not let my emotions lead me, but to lead my emotions as I follow God.
Paul the apostle continuously reminded the Philipians to rejoice. He wanted them to remember that they were able to "do all things through Christ" and to keep their focus on the things of God. But Paul was confused, and even discouraged at times. That is not a sin. The sin is when we allow those emotions to direct our actions instead of trusting God to take care of us.
So, I challenge you as well, trust in God, and do not be ruled by your emotions... even if you are not ok. Remember, God is great.

The Good Life

2010-04-25T13:03:00.003-07:00

My life is great! I graduated high school with a group of friends who all had dreams. Some dreamed of making it on Broadway or in Hollywood. Some wanted to become great business men and women. Some desired to just be married and start a family. I wanted to be in ministry and living in another country. Now, about 3 years later, I am living in Peru, serving the Lord while studying the Bible. It's beautiful. Many of my friends from high school are still working towards their goals, but more have gotten further and further away. Some have changed their mind, or given up. I feel blessed that God has shown me His will for my life at such a young age.
I often get discouraged when I look into the future, and I try to figure it out. When I was a young girl in high school, I was terribly confused when it seemed like I was moving further from becoming a missionary because I had an idea of how I would make that happen. But God did things His way, and so far this life is much better than I could have made it on my own.
Last week, I was able to spend some time in San Bartolo in a beautiful ocean side resort. Each day, several times, I found myself in wonder, praising God for the opportunity to be somewhere I could never have imagined. And as I look back on my life, I realize that there are so many blessings that I would have missed out on if God had let me do everything my way.
Recently, I have been looking at my options for further education after Bible College. I realize that if I pursue the path I feel God is directing me in, I will have at least three more years of schooling ahead of me. And I may have to go to a school other than the one I would choice for myself. These, among other factors, scare me. I pray, God, don't you want me to serve you? Don't you want me in ministry? Haven't you called me to this place? Don't you have these plans for my life? And the truth is, God answers all these questions with a resounding, Yes! But we are gonna do things My way. Not yours.
I have walked with God long enough to know that I can trust Him. I need to rest in His faithfulness and trust in His promises. Sometimes that is hard. Sometimes, I don't see how I can afford to do things His way, but the truth is I can't afford to do things my way. God knows everything, including the future, and His way is always the best way. His plans never fail. So, right now as I am making plans for my summer here, and for my future, I will keep my eyes on Christ as He leads me in His ways.
I challenge you to seek God while you make plans. His plans may seem crazy, less direct, or costly, but they are always best. They come from the mind of an infinite God who loves you and wants you to prosper.

Another one bites the dust

2010-04-18T20:21:00.002-07:00

YAY!!! I have finished another class. This semester has been a lot more work academically. But God has used it in mighty ways. Last weekend I could hardly see how I would finish this class, but by the grace of God I have. And the best part is I am leaving tomorrow for a class on the beach. That's right! The English students are headed for a few days on the beach with Pastor Brian Newberry from CC San Diego. It looks promising!
I am excited to see what God has in store for me this week. I know that there is so much I still need to learn before I will be the woman I can be, but thank God He uses imperfect people to do His work now.
I went to a great vow renewal ceremony tonight for CC Lima's pastor, John Bonner, and his wife Pilar. They have blessed all of us here by being willing servants and starting a Bible college and a church ten years ago. And tonight they celebrated 25 years of marriage. It was a great time.
My prayer is that I will one day have a marriage that lasts that long and is still centered on God. It's funny. Girls are the same around the world. My good friend Shirley, who is Peruvian, also dreams of a beautiful wedding and an even more beautiful wedding. That is one of my greatest desires. I know God will bless it if I am faithful to obey Him and wait for the right man.
Have a great week, my friends. I sure plan to. See you at the beach! Or not. ;)

Is it worth it?

2010-04-11T12:35:00.006-07:00

So, I came home from Iquitos, and updated my blog. About half way through writing my post for last week, I got some unexpected news. And since then, my week has been one thing after another. I wish that all my posts could be about my happy life, and what fun I am having in Lima, but this one is not. Let me say, before I go any further, that I am so full of God's joy and peace that I could explode. But I am also a human with emotions, and I have had the hardest week I can remember this week. I have cried too often and hard to count. I have considered changing my life direction. I have felt lost and abandoned. I have wanted to lash out at anyone who was giving me unwanted (although well meant) words of "encouragement". But more than any of this, I have gone to me knees more this week than in a long time. Many times asking God and myself, "Is it worth it?"
I found out this week that one of my closest friends, a girl I've known since I was in Jr. High, who I have known through all the ups and downs of teenage life, with whom I have celebrated the most joyous occasions, and gone through some of the toughest trials, is losing an eye to cancer. And ,this time, I can't be there.
On top of that, another dear friend is moving and expecting her first baby this month. My brother is awaiting news about a possible promotion and move. My sisters are both changing their majors. My parents have decided to move, and told me I will lose yet another cat while I am away.
If you have been praying for me. Thank you. I believe your prayers are what God has used to sustain me this week. If you haven't, please do. Because I am living on prayer right now.
I wanted to share this with you not to make you feel sorry for me. Not even to manipulate prayers or kind words. But to show you what God has been teaching me through the pain of this week.
What was once my life changed in a very short time in my absence, which led me to realize that it has not been my life in quite awhile. If it was my life, it could not have changed a week before I found out. Right now my life is here. And it will be here for awhile.
I would love to be at "home" with all of you, but my life is here, and as long I am here, I will rejoice in the work God has for me here. I don't know how long I will be in the States after I graduate from CCBC, but I do know that God has called me to be a missionary, and I will likely spend a large chunk of my life away from the USA.
This is something I had to commit to last week in Iquitos. I told God that I am willing to go wherever He sends me. No matter what. This week, He just asked me to stay in Lima and be here, completely. I learned what "No matter what" really means.
Don't misunderstand. I love Lima. I love the city and the people. I love my roommate and my friends. I love the school and the church. I love the ministries. I love what God is doing in me. In fact, I rarely miss anyone or anything from the States while I am here. But I also love Surprise, Arizona and Sacramento, California. The people in those places have not been replaced in my heart by the people here. And when my family and friends back home are hurting, I hurt because I want to comfort them.
The hardest part was thinking about all the times I may miss in the future. I have made a life long commitment to serve my God wherever He sends me. My niece asked if I would be home soon, and I had to say "No." She asked if I was leaving again after I come back. And I again she received an answer that she didn't want to hear. I am going to miss a lot of her life, more likely than not. And that's a hard pill to swallow. But it is nothing compared to living the life God has for me.
And so, God is teaching me about the sacrifice that I have made. He is testing my ability to carry the cross I chose. He is asking me, "Are you going to serve me? Really? No matter what?"
And after what has been a hard week, full of struggle and tempting, fear and defeat, but ultimately victory, my answer is a weak, "Yes, Lord. I am going to serve You."
I am not strong enough to do this on my own, but God is strong enough to do this through me. He has been my strength this week and He will be in the times to come.
I would much rather go through a life time of missing my family and friends than experience a week with them that was not in the will of God. It's worth it.

Jungle Woman

2010-04-04T12:45:00.002-07:00

Ok, so I spent the last week in Iquitos, which is a city in the jungle of Peru, along the Amazon River. It was amazing. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I forgot my camera, and am now hanging my head in shame that I could not begin to describe to you what my week was like. Besides which, I am almost certain you do not have enough time to hear the thousands of words it would take, but I will try to give you a little piece anyway, and I will post pictures on Facebook, once I get some from my friends.
Our team left a little over a week ago, at 3 in the morning Saturday. We arrived in Iquitos, and rested a little, then the adventure began. We went to a place called Belen. It is a community of floating houses built in the shallow and slow parts of the river. The people row between houses on canoes. No joke. It's like Venice, but super poor.
The houses shook as we sang songs and did skits with the kids. They colored pictures of the good Samaritan, and spoke to us in their beautiful accents. I think we all lost part of our heart to the children of Iquitos.
The market is always a source of sadness for me, as I choke back tears and vomit that threaten to come out. I wish I could explain it to you in a way that could give you an accurate picture. You walk between medicine men, beautiful produce, rotting meat, starving dogs, scantily clad women, tasty jungle treats, and piles of garbage and animal feces. To the people here this is normal, but OCEA would throw a fit! I am sometimes angry with myself for my apprehension and disgust, and sometimes sad for them to have no other choice but this. One more result of a world under the curse of sin.
We also went on two boat trips during the week to jungle communities that are built just a little ways off the river. I felt like I was in a movie. It was unreal to see the animals and plants and the way of life of these people. Awesome. There was one bridge that was only a couple feet off the ground, but it was a real trip. The water was just a small stream beneath us, but we were told the bridge was necessary protection from snakes. We were able to swim in the jungle there, and it was a blast to minister to the people there through dramas, worship songs, teaching and children's ministry. I would love to go back some time.
Yesterday, we went to a zoo and swam in another part of the river closer to the city. We got to hold a baby anaconda and talk to some parrots. Then we flew home to Lima. A great end to a great week.
I think our whole team of ten Americans, one Peruvian, and one Colombian learned lessons we will never forget. God is really working in my heart to show me that I can do anything through His strength and nothing without it. I have known for a long time that I am called to be a missionary, but until this week I would not believe that I would be able to live in the jungle. Even still, I don't prefer the jungle to the city, but I definitely believe that I would joyfully serve my Lord if He called me there.
My prayer is for all the people I met this week, and that we shared with, that they would see the Lord who gives us strength. I pray that they would turn to Him for salvation that only comes through Him. I pray for all my friends and family back in Arizona that you would be open to whatever life God is calling you to. That you would allow Him to stretch your comfort zone and show you a life that you didn't think you could live. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
I miss you all a little more today, and may prayers and blessings are with you. Please don't forget all the people dying in the desert of Arizona and the valleys of California while you pray for the jungle surrounding Iquitos and the beaches of Lima.

My Cardboard Testimony

2010-03-21T10:14:00.003-07:00

On Friday, all us estudantes are heading out to either Huanaco or Iquitos. I am going to Iquitos. :) Iquitos is in the jungle. It should be great. We have some dramas planned, and we will be traveling around visiting some different places and sharing the gospel.
One of the things that we have been asked to do is share our testimony. Our team leader, Holly, thought it would be cool to do "Cardboard Testimonies". This is simply writing a short phrase that says who you were before Christ on one side of a piece of cardboard, and who you are now on the other side. It will of course be translated into Spanish before it goes onto the cardboard. But I have been thinking a lot about what I want to write on my cardboard. The truth is, there are different areas of my life that I surrendered quite awhile after coming to my realization of my need for a Savior at the ripe old age of 7 years old. ;) My testimony is not just the story of a little girl who was afraid of the dark and said a magic prayer. It is how God has worked in every area of my life to make me into the person He wants me to be, the person I am still striving to become through the Spirit.
There is a rather difficult part of my testimony that I find embarrassing, but that I feel God is preparing to use in the lives of others. This is something I thought I would share with you, my faithful blog readers. Those who are either amused by me, or who love me enough to look past my insanity to what God is doing in this silly gringa.
I am a Type-A, over-competitive, controlling perfectionist. I like to be first, number one, the best, and in charge. I used to hate doing anything if I wasn't great at it. I lost friends because they beat me at my favorite games in elementary school.
When I was in High School, I realized that there are a lot of things I can't control. I realized I can't possibly be the best at everything all the time. And this upset me. It turned my little world upside down. So, I decided to find something I could control.
I struggled with eating problems for a couple years. I never completely stopped eating, but I used food as a punishment/reward system for life. When things went "good enough", I could quench that hunger with a sandwich or an ice cream. When things were going bad, I could stop eating lunch, or maybe not eat for three or four days. It was systematic, it was methodical. I wanted to feel the pains of hunger. That's what drove me to work harder. That was my reminder that I hadn't met my goal, that I hadn't succeeded yet in the task at hand.
But all along, I knew, that this was a sin. This was me trying to take charge of my own life, me trying to control everything. I wasn't trusting God to take care of me. I was trusting me, my system. And what does that say about the God I serve? That He's not big enough! That He can't take care of me without my help. I was thinking I was somehow capable of meeting godly standards.
When I realized just how big my God is, and how much He loves me and cares for me, despite my inability to ever be good enough, I realized how much it saddened His heart that I could not trust Him. The Bible says that God created the heavens and the earth (Gen. 1:1). It tells us that He knew me as I formed in my mother's womb (Ps. 139). It says that He has my life already planned out so that I don't have to worry about how to serve Him (Eph. 2:10).
Nothing I do will ever be "good enough" for God because only God is good. He can only accept perfection, but through His Son, I am made perfect in His sight. So, He never expects perfection from me unless He has brought it about. I can rest that in the eyes of my great God, I stand not just "good enough", but "perfect" because of the blood of His perfect Son.
I am still competitive, and I still like things to follow a system and an order, but God has brought such balance to my life, and the struggle with this area is almost non-existent. (I say "almost" because sometimes the urge to stop eating hits me like a brick, I cannot go on a diet, and fasting is very hard for me.) And when that temptation does come, I just ask myself, "How big is your God?"
So, I guess my cardboard can say, "Perfectionist who does not eat," and on the other side, "Trusting God, partaking of the Bread of Life."

The Hardet Thing About Bible College

2010-03-14T15:23:00.002-07:00

I was gonna write about my paper, but I really wanted to share this with you. I will try to post some links on FB later for those who are really interested in End Times prophecy that is being fulfilled around us.
The hardest thing about Bible College is not sharing a bathroom with girls I hardly know.
It's not eating food that I don't recognize by sight, smell, or taste.
It's not following a dress code that is stricter than my own.
It's not going to class everyday, or studying every night.
It's not learning to speak a language that I hated in high school.
It's not being thousands of miles from my family.
It's not hearing the same songs over and over, in two languages.
It's not running around in the sun until I'm exhausted and sunburned.
It's not taking a test, or reading a book.
It's not relearning how to make a latte because these machines are ... different.
It's not being without my favorite foods.
It's not learning a new transit "system".
It's not protecting myself from potentially dangerous situations.
It's not checking my bills to make sure they are real.
It's not even going without coffee every once in awhile.
It's not learning how to survive without a sceptic system.
The hardest thing about Bible College for this missionary-wannabe is getting up every morning at 7 am and making my bed.
That is the hardest thing for me. I don't know why. Many days I fail at this, and I roll out around 7:04, feeling like a failure. I stare at my bed, unkempt, and completely inviting. I think to myself, Self, yes that is how I think, in English anyway. I think, Self, you could just go back into that bed. Just crawl in and close your eyes for a few more minutes. You really could. No one would even know.
But then I hear another Voice, reminding me, Rachael, and that's how I know it's not me: it doesn't call me "Self". Rachael, you know you need to get up and make the bed. You need to because you are a bond slave, and you have chosen to follow God. And you have agreed to submit to whatever authority He places over you. And the authority over you now requires you to make that bed. No matter how tired you are, when your last cup of coffee was, or who is going to notice.
And so, eventually, I make my bed and get a shower. I have not forgotten, not once. And overall, it seems to have gotten easier. But some days, I really get upset with the Holy Spirit (that voice I mentioned). I want to just go back to sleep. I want to forget about my silly bed, and these silly rules about waking up at an ungodly (yes, ungodly is the right word) hour. I want to be able to keep my room how I like it, not how someone else says. But I have come to realize this is just selfishness.
Romans 12:1-2 tells us to present ourselves as a living sacrifice. And Galatians 5:1 reminds me that I have died to myself. I am not my own. I belong to my Master. And, like Him, my goal is to serve those around me, unselfishly. In 1 John, we are told over and over to love one another. In Romans, we are told that there is no authority that God has not allowed, and for that reason, we need to respect it inasmuch as it does not contradict the command of the Lord.
So I have several reasons to make my bed, and not one legitimate reason not to.
I share this with you, to show you my most sincere and honest struggle. Dorm cleaning is hard for me. It goes against everything I want to do. My flesh absolutely despises it. Not because I am messy; I'm actually pretty organized, but because it is someone else's imposed standard of "clean".
Pray with me that I can learn to love following this rule. And that God can be glorified in this weakness.
I challenge you to search your heart and see if there is not a rule or a task that you hate. Learn to follow/do it with joy. Remember that it is a service unto God. Even if it doesn't seem like it. I'm right there with you. I understand, but, like me, you have no excuse.

Living the Dream

2010-03-07T14:43:00.002-07:00

One day this week, I changed my Facebook status to reflect how amazing it is to live the life that I have prayed for for several years. Sometimes I say that I am living the life I have dreamed of. But that is not exactly true. I have, like most people my age, dreamed up many lives that are not a reality for me right now. I still have dreams and desires that I hope to fulfill if the Lord does not return in the next 20, 40 or 60 years and I am still alive. I have one dream to teach English in China. That has been my dream since I was 14. I dream of living for at least a year on each continent (except Antarctica). I dream of starting a Christian community theatre. I dream of being fluent in 5 languages. I dream of getting married, having children, adopting. These are my dreams. I desire to be near my family when I am raising my children. I desire a husband who has a heart for the same ministry as me. I desire to get my teaching degree, and a master's in theology. I desire to have a cup of coffee each morning as long as I live. These are my desires. But there is a difference between the life I dream of, the life I desire, and the life that I am praying for, in the past, and even now.
I have all these dreams of great things, and plans and desires that are good. But when I pray, not always, sometimes I even pray in the flesh. But usually, when I pray, I pray for God's will. I pray that God would take and form my desires and my dreams into His. And mostly I pray that He would lead me into a life where I can serve Him according to the call I already know He has placed in my life.
There is a verse that has helped me in learning to love the life I live. It is Psalm 37:4. It says: "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart."(NIV) This seems to contradict verses that tell us of the wickedness of our heart, or verses about being content in all things. This seems to say that God will just give us what we want if we follow Him. But we must interpret this verse correctly in light of what we know from Scripture, and what we know about God.
First let's look at the conditional part of this verse... the first phrase tells us what our part is in receiving this blessing. It says, "Delight yourself in the LORD". When we delight ourselves in the LORD, our delight, and our desires are the things that please Him. Our ultimate desire becomes serving Him, doing His will. So, if we delight ourselves in Him, He will conform our desires to His. In this way, our desires will be fulfilled.
God never leaves His servants with unfulfilled desires. He will either fulfill your dreams or change them. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 says, "To this end we also pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power." (NASB) He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He works in us to will and to complete the work He has began.
My dream was to live in China and be a missionary there, but I prayed for God's will, and my dream has changed. Now I have new dreams and new desires that are being continuously changed or fulfilled before my very eyes. I am blessed to live the life of my dreams, but not the life I dreamed of, the life I prayed for.
This is the life that is available to anyone who prays for God's will, and delights in the Lord. You may not have all your current dreams fulfilled, but when He changes your desires, He will not fail in fulfilling them, in His way and in His timing. Praise the Lord; He is the good and true God.

The Earth Shook Yesterday

2010-02-28T14:19:00.003-07:00

Yesterday started like any other Saturday, only quieter. We had a group at a surf camp, and a group in Canta on a retreat, and a group leaving early for the beach with the kids from their outreach. I was enjoying my day, but was rather preoccupied with thoughts about finances, and whether or not my brother is moving, and buying laundry detergent, and unfinished homework for my Revelation class. Like I said- a normal day.
Then, I made my bed, placing Po the Panda beside my pillow, and whispering a prayer for my niece. I did some reading, still distracted, and praying for all the things I think I need.
Opening my computer is the next step in my day usually, and I wanted to see if my parents had heard about the insurance situation, yet. Seeing that I had no reply on Skype and no new emails, Facebook was the next logical step. And a few comments on my news feed caught my eye. One was to my dad, one to my sister-in-law and one to me, from a worried friend who was certain I was under a building somewhere. Another well-meaning friend also wanted to make sure that I wasn't caught in the rubble-y aftermath of the giant earthquake I had no idea about. I knew that something was up, but for some reason didn't immediately check the news, but kept chugging along with my to-do list after reassuring my friends and family that I had not even heard of any earthquake in Peru, and that I and all my friends were very safe despite their bad source of information.
At "Brunch" the other students explained the situation to me. Chile is a mess. There are tsunami warnings all over the Pacific west coast, and Hawaii. I went upstairs and read the news. Cities in rubble, roads overturned, death toll rising. My heart skipped a beat as I prayed.
Thoughts were with our friends on the beach, friends in Hawaii, missionaries in Chile... no wonder my friend thought I was dead. The news looked bad. And it was.
My next thought: Wat if it was me?
Not too long ago there was an earthquake in Haiti, and the next was in Chile. And they aren't going to stop. The earth is headed to it's end, and I can joyfully shout, "Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!" But He's not here yet. Am I really living like today could be my last on earth until the Millennium?
In our Revelation class, we were just talking about the eminent return of Christ. it should make each of us wake up and live for God. We should be trying to take as many hurting souls with us to heaven as we possibly can because the next earthquake could hit you... or them.
I am certain beyond doubt that I am going to spend eternity with my victorious Savior. Why? Because I have accepted His sacrifice on the cross in exchange for my sin. Jesus took my place and yours so we wouldn't have to go to Hell, and so we wouldn't have to suffer the wrath God will one day pour out on the earth that has rebelled against Him. Then, after three days, He rose from the dead, proving that we too will rise with Him if we choose to follow Him and accept His free gift of Salvation. Soon, He will return and Redeem those, both live and dead who have called on Him for forgiveness.
If you haven't, please do, before it's too late. And if you have, please join with me in sharing the hope hat with share with the lost and dying world... before it's too late.
It may be another earthquake that takes you or it may be the Rapture. Either way, what service will you have to show when you stand before the One who died in your place. If God has asked you to do something, anything, what are you waiting for. The Earth Shook Yesterday.

Canta me encanta.

2010-02-21T12:32:00.004-07:00

I returned yesterday from a short retreat with the other girls to a city called Canta. It is a beautiful mountain town full of sheep and grass. But, most importantly, it was a quiet place to relax and meet God. I roomed with Lauren, a beautiful girl who loves Jesus who I am enjoying getting to know better this semester. Our dean of women, Ivy taught on the book of Ruth about the character of Ruth and Boaz. We learned from their example what God wants in men and women who are seeking a relationship.
This is a topic that I think gets overlooked a lot in our churches. It is often hard to address ideas of dating or courting or marriage. There are not explicit answers to all our questions, and so, we often end up with broken hearts and soiled reputations, if not physical consequences, when we err in relationship decisions. So, my blog is taking a week away from life in Peru to focus on this topic that my heart has been struggling through.
I personally have very high standards,. Many have teased, and even ridiculed me for many of these standards, including the way I dress, or the fact that I refused to date a boy in high school because he didn't share my faith, or the fact that I am 21 and have never been kissed, but I don't regreat them at all, and I believe that any young woman (or man) of God who put them into practice would have nothing to regret from them. I based them off things I have learned from godly women in my life as well as my own dives into God's Word after mistakes i have made. I wanted to share the basic principles with my blog-buddies, since I know many young girls who are seeking to set up their own set of standards for a love life. Many of these are also relevant for other areas of our lives.
1. The First Priority: First of all, we are told to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. We are told to love and honor Him first in our lives. This is easy to say and hard to do. Before we can be ready for any new romantic relationship we must learn to love the Author of Romance. Anything that is in our life that does not allow or help us love God more cannot stay if we wish to become more like Him. That can include that cute boy who sits next to us in chemistry, or that romantic movie starring a super hot hottie. Or sometimes friends who influence us to make bad choices about relationships. So, if you are uncertain about whether you should get rid of something in your life ask: Is this keeping me from God? Is this more important to me than He is? Would I be unwilling to give this up if God asked me to? If you answer yes, pray that God would help you replace that with something pleasing to Him.
2. The Sacrifice Principle: We are called to present our bodies as living sacrifices. In Romans, Paul tells us that if we are not allowing our bodies to be used by God as instruments of good, than we are allowing them to be used as instruments of evil. This effects your whole life. When you are flirting with a boy, is your body being used as an instrument of good, or evil? When you get dressed in the morning, is your body being used as an instrument of good, or evil? When you are out on a date, and he touches you for the first time, is your body being used as an instrument of good, or evil? I know it's a tough thing to hear, and it's even tougher to answer those questions, but since putting this principle in place, I have felt much more confident about what behavior is acceptable between me and the opposite sex. Anything that does not lead them closer to God is an instrument of evil.
3. The Skin Problem: ok, so this is just a personal standard that I have adopted taught to me at a True Love Waits class by a woman who at the time was engaged. Her now-husband at the time had told her how to dress in such a way that he would be less tempted to think lustfully towards her. The rule is simple. Don't let any skin show that you wouldn't want a guy to touch. And not just your boyfriend, or your brother, or your best friend who is a guy, but how about your teacher, or your youth pastor, or your friend's dad. If he helped you out of the car, it would be ok if he touched your arm, or your hand. If you were playing softball, it wouldn't be awkward if he touched your calves. But it would be pretty awkward if it was your upper thigh, or that part of you chest that is exposed in a low V-neck. This is not a perfect standard, but a general guide line. I find it very helpful, but it is in no way a hard and fast rule. The idea is simply, if they do see it, they will want to touch it.
4. Thought Life: When I was younger, I heard some Christians talking about their thought life. I was really confused. I didn't understand what a thought life was. I now know it is simply what we allow our thoughts to dwell on. We can't always stop a random thought from finding it's way into our head, but we can decide to dwell on good things. Jesus shocked the Jews when He told them that lustful thoughts were sin, but it's the truth. We are not to think sexual thoughts about anyone who we are not married to. That's biblical. And like the old saying goes, If you have to ask, don't do it. If you think your thoughts might be inappropriate, they probably are. I can't tell you how important this is. i have had struggles with this, and still have times when I remind myself that that man is not my husband. The truth is we can make this easier or harder on ourselves by the movies and TV we watch, the books and magazines we read, and the people we hang out with. If we are constantly presented with sexual images, they will be hard to get out of our heads.
5. Arm Length Relationships: When God looks at your life, He already sees the person He has for you. He will not be surprised on the day you get engaged. But until the day when you are finally joined with the person God has for you, I would strongly suggest that you keep in mind that in God's eyes you already belong to that person, even if you don't know them yet. Also, every attractive person you meet already belongs to their future mate as well. I would suggest that you treat anyone you are interested in as someone else's future spouse, until the day you are married. This is important when it comes to romantic relationships, but also friendships. You should not have a friendship that is too intimate with a member of the opposite sex because the chances are one day one of you will get married, and the relationship may have to end, or may cause jealousy if you have not been careful. Also, emotions often come by accident, and you do not want to become too emotionally attached to anyone other than your mate.
6. The Ladder Principle: My mom always told me this, and it never really meant anything until I got dumped by my ex-boyfriend. Relationships are like ladders that you can only climb up. You can't go back down. Once you have shared a kiss, or a hug, or a secret, you can't get it back. And once you go to first base, the next logical step is second. Every time you give something away, it is harder to be satisfied by the previous. I don't think I really want you to have to understand, but trust me when I say, be careful to save as much as you can for the person you will marry so that you can be completely elated by every first that you share.
7. Remove the Hint: We are asked to remove any hint of sexual immorality. We don't want to give Satan anything to hold against us, and we don't want any little temptation to sneak in without notice. I know I already touched on this, but I think it is important enough to reiterate. If it is questionable, it's ok to ask someone you trust, but usually it is best to just get rid of it. You don't want to cause other Christians to sin, or non-believers to question your faith. Any sin is forgivable, so start fresh today. A clean testimony can move mountains.
8. Pray First: Before you think about going out with anyone, pray. Be certain God is in the middle of every decision you make. Base your relationship on a shared faith and certainty in the direction of your life together. Ask those who you know will give you godly counsel. Refuse to be set up by pushy sisters or well meaning friends. Remember that as Christians we make up the Bride of Christ. So, we will be married to Him, and He is a Man worth waiting for, even if we never get an earthly wedding ceremony. Stay pure.
I hope this blesses you. Please know that this is not the hard and fast method to a happy life, but simply part of my knowledge that I pass on to you. Some books I suggest are the Every Man's Battle series (Every Young Woman's Battle was one I read in high school), and When God Writes Your Love Story. I have read parts of others, and I have heard of even more that I am sure are excellent.

Feliz Dia...

2010-02-14T12:40:00.002-07:00

Today is Valentine's Day! I have successfully completed a week of school. I must say, I feel very loved right now. I have been enjoying my classes as well as my time in the coffee shop. I am loving the other students; we have lots of fun together. I also was able to go to Ventenilla, a poverty stricken area on the edge of Lima, where the church has a children's program each Saturday. Through the combination of all this and much more, God has been doing a great work in my life.
I know all of you in the States want to know when I am coming home, and some even wonder if I ever will. So here it is: the more time I spend here, the more my heart grows in love for the people, the language and the food. But the more time I spend here, the more God confirms His call on my life to return to the States when I am finished with Bible College. One day, I would like to bring my family and friends to this city I love so well, so that they could understand me better because I know this place has helped shape who I am.
But I have recently felt that my life experience has uniquely prepared me for ministry in the Phoenix area. I cry when I think that so many people there are lost and dying, just like the people here. I have a special place in my heart for those who have moved from the land they know to a place where they are struggling to belong. I know there are so many people struggling to find love this Valentine's Day, and I want to help them find the One who created love and Who loves unconditionally.
I am here to study the Bible, and learn Spanish, and to know God's Will in my life better each day, but I do believe I will return to you. :)
I am studying the book of Genesis with the other girls here, and I am seeing how God fulfilled all His promises to Abraham. God is doing the same in my life right now. Some promises are fulfilled, some are just being made, but they all hold such hope for me in the trustworthiness of my Savior.
So, if you would, pray with me for the people of Lima, the people of Phoenix, and those God has laid on your heart. Pray that they might seek Him while He still may be found.
Happy Valentine's Day

No, I didn't drop off the planet.

2010-02-07T13:32:00.003-07:00

So, it's been three weeks since my last post. I've had a birthday since them. I am now 21! I can't believe all that God has done in my life in the last year. My 20th birthday was celebrated in Ethiopia, and my 21st was exactly one week before I returned for my second semester in Peru!
I am excited to be here. I didn't realize how much I missed this place until I came back. I saw all my friends that have become my second family. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my heart has grown rather fond of Peru.
At the same time, my heart is more fond of my family in Arizona, and equally fond of my amazing support system there. I wish I could have greeted my dear friends, the Thiele family as they returned from Ethiopia with the three newest members of the clan. My heart was divided between three continents while their forever family waited anxiously for them.
But about this semester in Peru: I am a dorm steward. Which means I have the responsibility of making sure my room is following campus rules and working through conflicts with the other girls. It is a growing experience, and so far I am enjoying it.
Writing this is slightly easier today than it would have been yesterday, since my roommate just returned with our new fan, George. We have no AC here, so George is making life much more pleasant for us. Since seasons are opposite of the States, we are currently in the hottest month of the year, and it has been rather warm and humid.
I have written my first newsletter, which I will be sending to my contacts at my two supporting churches this week. I hope to send one every month. If you would like me to email it to you, send me your address and you will be added to my list. I am going to try and cover different things in the blog and the newsletter.
Let me leave you with this thought that God has encouraged me with this week.
I was reading Leviticus and I noticed that over and over again you see the words, "The LORD said to Moses." It made me think about how often God speaks to me. I began to ask myself if I was listening to Him.
In 1 Kings 13, there is a story of a young man who took direction from an older prophet when it was contrary to what God had told him. It lead to a rather violent death for this mistake. We all need to be careful that we are following the voice of God.
This semester, I am challenging myself to seek God's voice and follow His directions.
2 Corinthians 1:20 says, "For no matter how many promises God has mad, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through Him the "Amen" is spoken to us to the glory of God."
We can easily follow God when we remember not only His commands, but also His promises because we can be sure that He will always be faithful to His word. And when we follow Him, He promises to be with us all the way, and to love and protect us.
Amen!

The White Rabbit

2010-01-18T23:08:00.002-07:00

I'm sorry to say that I was late this week. And with no excuse. The reason simply being that I have had the mother of all colds chasing me for the longest time, and it caught up with me this weekend.
My little sister is now snug in her bed on campus at ASU Main, and though she is sometimes a loner, I will miss seeing her, and laughing with her, now that she is not just down the hall.
Last week was a tough one for me. I sorted a lot of emotions and anxieties. I faced myself, and didn't deal with me to well. But yesterday, I reminded me that God sees how He can be glorified in my weaknesses, and handed Him all my fears. Now, a new week faces me.
This new week is full of excitement and promise, not because of the things that I have filled it with, but because of the God who fills me. I just need to commit each moment to Him.
Today was spent out in this world, and hopefully God can use each encounter to bring those I met closer to Him. I am going to devote this moment to His work. And this night, and tomorrow, and this week, and this year.
I challenge you to do the same. Good night. See you next Sunday... really.

The Search

2010-01-10T11:05:00.005-07:00

Today we are having company over for my brother's birthday. I am full of joy for how God has worked in him and his family over the last year. I love him and can't wait to see what the next year will bring for him. :) The picture above is him and my nephew with their matching hair do!

Steven and Stephani, on their way to California.

Steven and Serene at the petting zoo a couple years ago.

Steven with his MJ cupcake at Sky's birthday party! The best picture I have of him.

Happy Birthday Steven!

It is always fun and exciting when birthdays come in my family. My mom loves to make birthdays special, and I have many fond memories of cakes, parties, or just a special card or my siblings and I on our birthdays. However, as an adult, I now realize why my parents seemed so stressed right before our parties. When you have company, the house must be clean!

Today, I rushed home from church because I didn't finish cleaning a few things last night, and I wanted my bedroom and bathroom to be company-ready. It reminded me of dorm cleanings in school. At the Bible college, we are required to keep our rooms clean. In order to make sure this happens, every week there is an inspection. On Wednesdays, you will find otherwise normal and happy college students, down on the ground, scrubbing like their lives depended on it hoping that the inspection can be held off until they can remove the mold from the shower tile grout. They make certain that they have done their very best to rid their rooms of dirt, dust, mold, or any other thing that does not belong.

Throughout the week, most students keep their beds made and their belongings tidy. The trash is emptied, and the floors are mostly clear. Food is kept out of the room, and shoes are stowed under the beds or in the closet. But on Wednesdays, there is an inspection, and so the students make sure that there is nothing to be held against them.

This is how I feel as I approach Communion. I live my Christian life before God fairly clean. I try to seek Him in everything, and though I sin, I am repentant and continuing to serve Him. However, Communion is an opportunity for me to inspect myself, to seek out anything that I might have missed. But unlike my dorm inspections, God is not an inspector who comes in after I have cleaned to punish me for what I missed. He comes along side of me to help me clear it away. In fact, He just shows me what I've missed, asks me if I want to get rid of it, and then clears it out Himself. Although I may feel ashamed of my proverbial mold in the grout of my heart or the dust in the corner of my mind, I can know that Christ already took the punishment of that sin.

Therefore, I should be earnestly seeking out any concealed sin all the time, and not dreading this heart inspection. I should keep my spirit company-ready. I should remember that my body is the temple of the Lord. It is not what goes in that matters, but what is inside that will likely spill out. I pray that don't cough up the dust of sin, but that my mouth would overflow with words of praise.

I am on a search this week. And I challenge you to join me.

Lord, search me and know me. Change me from the inside out so that others may see You in me, and know that You are God.

Amen.

Peruvian Elephants, and Other Things

2010-01-03T14:00:00.002-07:00

It's funny how during the Holidays, you can become so distracted by little things, like the Christmas gift you misplaced, and forget what is really important, even momentarily. I am fortunate enough to have something to keep me on track... my blog. :)
Right now, it is December 31st, the last day of 2009. It has been a crazy year, but since I explained that in my last post, I won't dwell on that.
Tomorrow I am going with my dad on a road trip because I have been invited to share at my aunt's church in the town where I was born. That is why I am writing my blog early, although, hopefully it will post Sunday afternoon. I will be gone all weekend. I am excited, but, honestly a little nervous
I am now trying to think about all that I wish to share at this church, and I am sure of a few things that I wish to tell them, but I don't know these people very well, so it's a new situation, and therefore makes me a little nervous. I am planning to share a little about myself, a little about what I've done in Peru, and a little about what I am expecting from my next trip. I also want to share with them something that I think is very important. I want to tell them how important it is to be part of missions.
So many people think that missions is an offering or a position or a trip, but that's not true. It's a call of God on the life of every believer. Let me explain. In Psalm 108: 3 David said, "I will praise You, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing of You among the peoples." (NIV) God is a God who is to be declared. He desires us to share Him with others.
In Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus sent the disciples out with what we call the Great Commission. He told them to "Go and make disciples of every nation." He wanted the Good News to spread.
So, all Christians have a responsibility to share the gospel. But some do it in other parts of the world. I am one who is now going to another nation to share. This is what we call missions.
But I am not the only one who will receive a heavenly reward for my work in the mission field. anyone who takes a small part in sending me will also take part in any blessing I receive.
You who pray for me, who encourage me, who support me in so many ways, who learn from my ministry, all are as much a part of it as I am. You receive the same as me. This is your part, and it is sooooo important.
Romans 10:13-15 says:

For "whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved." How then shall
they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they
believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear
without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As
it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of
peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!" (NKJV)

And you are sending me! The type of logic Paul uses here is ascending points in which each point is more important than the previous and the last point ("And how shall they preach unless they are sent?") is most important. I might have beautiful feet as I preach the gospel to children in Cuzco, but you are sending me!

Thank you! And Happy New Year!

Counted Worthy

2009-12-27T12:55:00.003-07:00

Christmas flew past, and the New Year is fast approaching. I can't believe how soon I will be headed back to Peru. I have not accomplished, yet, all the things on my to-do list, but I have been able to enjoy my family and friends. I have spent a lot of time catching up with my niece, and as always, she has taught me some valuable lessons by her simple childlike questions.
She has such a strong desire to please me, her parents, and God. I remind her over and over that God loves her and so do we. And that love is not dependent on her actions.
The truth of the matter is that I need to be reminded of this as often as she does. God loves me, not matter what I do.
Lately, I have been overcome by my unworthiness. I feel as though nothing I can do will make a difference. It's true. I am unworthy, and nothing I do, on my own, will amount to anything. But, as we studied in church this morning, I am a friend of God. He sees me in the light of Christ's righteousness. He is faithful, even when I am faithless.
In 2 Corinthians 5: 21, Paul talks about how, through His work on the cross, Christ has traded places with us. When we accept the grace of God, we take on the righteousness of Christ's life, just as He took on our sin that day.
This truth is overwhelming, and if this was all that the cross did, it would be enough. But that's not all. God's grace doesn't only save us and make us right with God, it gives us a part in the salvation of others.
God gives us Christ's righteousness so that He can abide in us and change us into Christ-like Christians. We have the opportunity to live out an abundant life through Christ in which He makes a difference and we get to be part of that difference in the world around us.
In Galatians, Paul tells us that after accepting Christ, He ceased to live for himself, but allowed Christ to live through him. This is the secret to making a difference for God's kingdom. And this is something we can only do when we realize that God has already made us righteous.
When we realize that God sees the perfection of Jesus when He looks at us, then, we can have the confidence to live in an attitude of humble righteousness like He did. He will change us into the men and women who can do the work He has planned in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
As much as I love my favorite 4-year-old, God loves me more. And though I may talk back, disobey, and throw tantrums once in awhile, His love is unfailing. And He still wishes to use me for His purposes here on this earth, and, as the disciples who we glad to suffer for Christ, I am so happy to be counted worthy of His name.

Christmas... and all that jazz.

2009-12-20T20:45:00.003-07:00

So, I wrote a Christmas letter for the first time in my life! I really had a hard time convincing myself it was ok but I think I did a pretty good job. And I am going to mail it... hopefully tomorrow. ;) I have been a little behind schedule this season. But I would love to share it with all my blog buddies now. But first, let me add, that I have really been enjoying my time at home. I love this time of year, and I love my family and friends. I am so glad to share this time with you all.
And without further ado... the letter:

Dear Friends and Family,
This year has been one of excitement and new opportunities for me. I have learned so much as I have grown closer to my Lord. This Christmas, as I reflect on the year that has passed, I see how God has used each experience to grow me into a woman capable of fulfilling the call He has placed on my life.
In January I had the opportunity to travel out of the country for the first time on a mission trip to Ethiopia. I was blessed by the prayer and support from many people all over the USA. There, I was able to learn more about several ministries and what it takes to get a ministry started and keep it running. Although I have been on many mission trips within the States, there were lessons I still needed to learn before I was ready to live in another country.
After returning to Arizona, I applied for Bible College in Lima, Peru. About one week before my graduation from Estrella Mountain Community College, I received an acceptance letter and began preparing to move to Peru. I realized that my life was changing drastically. Since graduating from High School, I had worked to pay for my food, my gas, my books, everything except rent and tuition. Now, I was going to be living without an income. At one point I realized that the money I had previously earned and the money my parents had available was not enough to pay for my mid-semester mission trip to Cuzco. Knowing that God had called me to Peru, I was learning to trust that He would provide. I had ideas about how missionaries must raise money, but most of the support I received came from unexpected sponsors. And I was completely overcome with gratitude and humility by the way God’s people responded to my need.
Through that trip to Cuzco, many came to know the Lord, and many believers were encouraged in their ministry to the people in the Andes and the Urabumba Valley. It was a joy to be there for one week as God moved in the lives of so many. I am so glad I was able to be part of that.
Besides my short trip to Cuzco, I have been part of a local ministry in Lima ran by a wonderful woman from Switzerland named Doris. She takes in children whose parents cannot care for them and raises them in her home, which she calls “El Refugio” or “The Refuge”. Every Saturday, I go visit Doris and the kids with two other students. We play with them and teach them English. They have been such a blessing to me. It has really been an opportunity to put into practice what I learn in the classroom.
Now, I am home for the holidays, but I am planning to return to Peru. I have learned that God will supply for all my needs, and more. I want to thank all of you who have supported me with prayer, encouragement and all forms of support throughout my journey. God has used each of you to reach the people of Lima and the Urabumba Valley. I ask that you continue to remember me and the people of Peru throughout the New Year. I am blessed to know you all, and see how God has used you.

Merry Christmas,

Rachael Hicks

*If you are interested in supporting God's work through me in Lima, please let me know so I can give you more information or answer your questions. Email me at MissionaryHicks@gmail.com

Re-entry

2009-12-13T21:26:00.002-07:00

So, I read this book for my missions class. It was called Serving as Senders. It was full of information for missionaries, and those who want to support them, about how to set up a support system. And in the book, as well as the class, there was a great emphasis on this idea that Mr. Pirolo calls "Re-entry". This is apparently the most stressful period for a missionary, and often is overlooked by those around them.
This is the period I am in now. I thought that the book and my instructors were exaggerating when they told us we would have culture shock when we went home. It didn't seem likely since I was a student here for four months that I would have changed so drastically. I mean, I love Peru, but I still want to eat hamburgers, and thank the Lord, we have sceptic systems in the US of A. And, I don't have to greet everyone in my church with a kiss. I was certain that I would be so thrilled to be home that I would not be able to go through separation anxiety.
Well, unfortunately, I was wrong, and reverse culture shock has crept in here and there in my life. However, I wanted to say thank you to all my friends and family who have made this shock easier to deal with. I must say that I feel extremely loved and blessed to have so many caring people in my life who have been genuinely concerned with both my semester in Peru and my return to the States.
This week, I have discovered a new weakness to boast in. And a new fondness for Arizona, the state that has slowly wooed me for the last several years. I love my family, biological and spiritual, that reside temporarily in this State while awaiting our permanent Home.

You say "Goodbye", I say "Hello"

2009-12-06T13:48:00.002-07:00

I have been thinking about what I should write on this blog. I feel like the end of the semester should reflect on the beginning somehow and sort of sum up what I have learned and experienced. So, that's what I will try to do. But I also feel as though this is not the end of my time in Peru, but merely a vacation in the middle in which I will say goodbye once again to all my friends and family in the States. So, I want to share with you a piece of who I have become while here in Lima, and what I hope to continue in should my Bridegroom wait just a little longer.
When I came here, I had never been away from my parents or my baby sister (who is now 18) for more than a month. I had lived 20 years under the guidance and protection of two godly parents and their one set of rules. I was so accustomed to those rules, that I imagine I might have lived by them if I lived on my own. I was so used to their help, and I didn't even realize and appreciate how much they did for me.
Being here was really very difficult at first. I was living with several people who didn't come from the home of Doug and Tina Hicks. They didn't have the same ideas of "clean", "loud", or "appropriate". My roommates come form two different Latin American countries, and our communication was kinda slim in the first weeks.
After about a month, I found a real rhythm, and although I can't say the rest of my time was perfect, it was without any incident that would cause a rift in my relationships with my peers. I grew close with some of the girls who are in similar situations as me. I learned to love beyond language barriers and enjoy my replacement "sisters". My life is better than I dreamed it could be.
There are some things bout Peru that may never get used to or fully appreciate, like rice at every meal. There are some that I am not yet adjusted to, but have tried to embrace, like greeting others with a kiss. There are are some, that I have almost forgotten are not American and only realize when speaking to those who are not here, like Spanglish.
Peru has taken a place in my heart, but it has also grown my love for those back home. It is a place God used to break me from the world, but grow my love for the people of the world. I don't need my parents, my friends, my siblings, or my niece. But now I understand more what it means to love them like God. In being separated from them, God has made me depend on Him, and His love is the only love that allows me to see how much I was lacking.
When I came here, in many ways, I thought I had it together as a Christian. The first week crushed that, as I looked at the other students and felt I didn't measure up. The second week, I began to see they were just as humbled as me and we began, at that point, to grow together. They became a temporary family for me, and have encouraged my growth, sometimes unintentionally. That is what has made these last few days the hardest. Now it is time to say a farewell. Some of them I plan to see in a few months. Others I may never see again this side of heaven. There is a small fear inside me of continuing without them what we have began together. But I KNOW that my God is big enough. He brought me here, and He'll finish to completion the work He has began in me.
There is so much more I could share, but I think this is enough. Your challenge: Welcome me home with the realization that this will be an adjustment for me, but know that I have appreciated every moment you spent reading my blog and praying for me. Know that I love you all, and I often think of you fondly. You have brought a piece of our true Home to me, and I can't wait to see you all!

Gracias por arroz?

2009-11-29T13:41:00.002-07:00

Ok, so this has been a crazy week! Thursday was Thanksgiving, and then last night there was a bridal shower for Michelle, the director's daughter. Tonight is the graduation ceremony. Plus, everyone is preparing to leave.
I must say, I have been reminded more than once that I need to trust in God and not worry,but the air of anxiety has made this a temptation for me.
On Thanksgiving, all the Peruvians got the impression that Thanksgiving is all about food. And, in their minds, not even good food. But the Americans were soooo excited for this delicious taste of home. There were a few of my mom's best dishes that I missed, but overall, the meal was well prepared and muy rico. :) The Peruvians even tolerated it, after piling rice high on top of their mashed potatoes and gravy (why?).
I asked one Peruvian why he had to ruin the perfectly good meal with his rice, and he said: For me, food without rice is not food. And although I respectfully disagree, he made me think.
For me, life without Christ is not life. Or, at least that is the correct perspective of life. When I try to live the life God has called me to without the power of His Spirit, it's a wasted effort. And the resulting life is not life at all. This was a valuable lesson that I needed to be reminded of this Thanksgiving, and so I am even thankful for the rice.

I kept up with 30 Days of Thanksgiving (ending on Thanksgiving) and I wanted to let you all know that I am especially thankful for all those who supported me in coming here, whether it was through finances, gifts, kind words, or, most importantly, PRAYER! I am eternally grateful. You have been a blessing in my life. And I know I have lacked in the area of expressing my gratitude. So, thank you.

30 Days of Thanksgiving:

School
My Bible
My parents
Food
Quiet Moments
Nature
Airplanes
Tomas the Lamb
Unexpected blessings
Candy and Bailey
Transportation (in various forms)
CoCo
Candy's Passport ;)
Shirley and Karina
US Military
Internet
Amy, Masa, and Stephanie R.
Becca, Leah and Stephani M.
Malinda H. and Mrs. Swinney
Girls I miss: Lauren, Coral, Nichol
Serene and Skyler
My Pastors
God's Consistency
2 years of Community College
God choosing and using me
Calvary Chapel Lima
A good night's sleep
Martyrs
Christmas with Family
Jesus' sacrifice/my salvation

Instruments of Wickedness or Instruments of Righteousness?

2009-11-22T16:06:00.003-07:00

Happy Sunday!
Today, I forgot myself, and almost forgot to post. That would be dreadful since I only have two more Sundays in Peru.
This week, I have been pretty busy with my 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus class (AKA Pastoral Epistles), and I have learned a lot. I have been to the beach a couple times also, and I have found time to enjoy the weather, now that it is FINALLY a little warmer. :)
On a deeper level, I have been distracted this week. Thoughts of so many things are flooding my head. Thankfully, I have so many encouragements to keep me praying. God has been teaching me a lot about myself, and I am exciting to see what is to come.
I never could have anticipated what this time in Peru would mean to me, and I am glad to be returning next semester.
I have found a new verse that I plan to memorize for the times when I am tempted to live for myself and fleshly desires:
"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness."
As a daughter of God, I have two options constantly before me with my thoughts, actions, and even emotions. I can offer them to God, as instruments of righteousness, or offer them to sin as instruments of wickedness. And when we don't offer them to God, this is sin. That may be hard to swallow, but it is a truth I am learning the hard way. I need to put God in the center of all I do if I desire to please Him in it.
So, please pray for me as I struggle to put aside my distractions and offer the parts of my body to God. My challenge is for you to spend some time allowing God to point out which parts of yourself you are offering to sin.
Have a great week friends!

More of You, Less of Me

2009-11-15T13:35:00.004-07:00

2 Samuel 5:10
"And he became more and more powerful, because the LORD God Almighty was with him."
Acts 27:25
"So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as He told me."
As I lay in bed at night, I remember my walks on the beach, my phone calls with my family, and the Words that God has placed on my heart. I wake up praising Him, still in a state of disbelief that I have been living in a foreign country. I leave in 3 weeks, with the plan to return in February (this time for 1o months). I feel so.... blessed. But some nights I still fail to rest easy.
This week was my Missions class. It was a tough class. Most of it was about Spiritual Warfare, and that was intense. I realized that I need to pray more. The last day we talked about building a support team. I realize that this is something I need to do. I know there are many people who have provided me support, through prayer, exhortation, money, and other ways. And I appreciate it more than I can tell. However, since I plan to be in Peru for the next year and a half as a missionary/intern/student, I have realized that this is an area that I have not spent much time on. So, please pray for me as God and I work on this in my life.
I know that only through God can I become more powerful, like David. And I know, like Paul, that my God is faithful. He will keep His promises to me, and He will provide for me to do the work in the area He has guided me into. But sometimes my faith is so weak, so I pray that I will continue in the path He has set before me, and I thank God that He is faithful no matter what, and that His work is not dependant on my faithfulness, but on His.
If I sound weak, I am glad because I am certain that God is using me right now, and if you see my weakness, you will not be able to give credit to me. But let me tell you, I am so full of joy right now. And even amidst my anxiety of the looming money issues, I have a peace inside that I am learning to grab hold of and cling to in times of uncertainty.
I pray so often for many of you. I am so grateful to you for your encouragement, especially to Danielle and Linda who are always finding just the words I need to hear.
I am so happy to be returning for a couple months, and am excited to see how God will use the rest of my time in Peru to prepare me for the next step and to reach the people here.
I didn't share much about my trip last week because it is still processing, but please ask if you want to know more.
This week, I challenge you to surround yourself with godly people who can support you in the call of God on your life.
Please pray for me as I try to do the same.

Home?

2009-11-09T20:03:00.003-07:00

So, this week was amazing. I went with five other students to Cuzco and we were expecting to stay in a hostal, and instead got to stay in a huge house with two rock walls and a pet sheep (who I adore). We were blessed to overflowing with extra funds which we passed on to our host, Coco, and his ministry. We were able to share the Nueva Buena with children and families all around the Cuzco area in several mountain villages.

Sunday morning, we headed to the airport with groggy faces and backpacks full of dirty clothes, and spirits full of fond memories. But our adventure was not over. Due to unforseen weather conditions and several events beyond our control, we got home (AKA Lima) more than 28 hours later than expected. I truely believed God had us there longer so we could be a witness during times of unexpected misfortune as well as blessing. It is so easy to be on fire for God when you have a comfy bed and clean clothes and extra food and a pet sheep. But take that away and give you an airport floor as a matress and it's not quite as easy.

I have been in Lima for about 3 months now, and I leave in a month. I have learned a lot here, but I have learned what words cannot express on my trip this past week.

My challenge to you is to look at all the ways God has been blessing you, and remember them, even when you are frustrated.

I meant to post more pictures soon.

Almost too Good to be True

2009-11-01T14:53:00.002-07:00

Last night, I went to the Cliffs, which is a favorite hang out spot for the students here. It is a quiet grassy cliff area where you can see the beach and a point on the peir. It's beautiful, if a little smoggy, there, and it's one of the few ways you can escape from the noise of campus and the busy city of Lima.
There are millions of people here in Lima, and the trafic is never ending. There are about 70 people living on our tiny campus and more than 200 on campus most days between 8 am and 10 pm. The noise just doesn't stop. And I am easily disturbed by this.
I never thought of myself as an introvert. In fact, at home, I often sought a way out of the quiet so that I could enjoy the company of my friends and family. But here, I crave quiet. I crave a time where I will be uninterupted in a single prayer time, Bible study, phone call, or thought. I hate that from about 6:30 am until 11 pm I cannot find quiet. It practically kills me emotionally.
But last night, the last two months of noise floated away in about 15 minutes as I found an open spot a few yards away from my friends and spent some time with my beloved Jesus. We talked in a way that I have missed, and I was refreshed and filled with joy. It was almost too good to be true. And it was exactly what I needed. I pray and have a "quiet time" everyday, but I find it so hard to focus and just relax in the presence of my God with so many distractions around me. But last night, there were none. It was me, the grass, the ocean, the breeze and my Savior in glorious fellowship.
Tuesday, I am leaving for a mission trip to Cuzco. And I am not exactly physically finished preparing. and I am sure that I could use some more time with God. But last night was the best preparation I could have hoped for. And I am going to try and get more of it from now on.
I am challenging you, to find a place of quiet, and enjoy time without distractions. Without any noise. Without other people. Just you and God. This can be so difficult, but it is so rewarding!!!
I love you all and I have nothing else to share this week. Please pray for my team as we reach out to the people of Cuzco. God bless.

La Pan de Vida

2009-10-25T19:31:00.002-07:00

I am sure that it is not a big deal in the eyes of most that I am "late" posting to my blog, but I am going a little crazy right now in my attempt to update all of you before 11pm Peru time. I have had a mostly normal week with a few curve balls. But this week was actually the most relaxing week so far. And it shouldn't have been, really, but God has given me such an overwhelming peace about life, so I know I can rest in Him.
Monday, we started Daniel class, which is muy chebere. (Let me apologize now for random Spanish which has begun to sneak into my everyday speech. I take t as a good sign.) I am learning a lot about the character of Daniel, but also of God especially in the way He works in the life of sinners. I am fascinated by the story of Nebuchadnezzar, and I am fairly certain I will meet him in that great day and understand so much more of his God-inspired story.
We leave a week from tomorrow for our mission trips and I am fairly certain my destination is Cuzco! Exciting. Hopefully I will get to see some awesome ruins while serving the new church plant there!
I thought I would share with all of you that I have slept through 3 meals this week. This makes perfect sense to anyone who knows me well or has seen me before 9:00am. As much as I love food, and I have accepted this fact since being here (especialmente la comida de Juanita, esta muy buena) I love sleep even more! I am learning to not be lazy or sluggish, but I know God understands the basic appreciation I get in fulfilling my natural human need for sleep. And I also don't really do mornings, but I have been. But I CANNOT wake up on my own. So, last Sunday, I slept until it was just about time to leave for church! I hurried and rushed and scurried and every other word that would apply, I did. I don't know that I focused much that morning, but I truly appreciated lunch that afternoon.
Then, the next day, I woke up, and like every weekday, I laid in bed waiting for someone to yell, "Diesiuna esta listo!" Pero, no! I heard it not. I fell back to sleep and woke up 30 min after breakfast and just 45 min before I needed to be in Devo's.
Today, I made it to breakfast, ate 2 bowels of the way-too-sweet cereal that is served here on Sunday (and now Saturday) mornings. Then, I had a sandwich at church and enjoyed Chifa (mi favorita) for lunch. After lunch cleanup, I fell asleep. I woke up when dinner was over and had no time to eat before church. So, I went to Metro (which is like a big grocery store... kinda like Fry's) and bought some panes and an ice cream bar. (A typical Rachael meal back home.) :)
There is a song one of the Spanish students wrote that we sing here a lot. I love it. Here is part of it:

Jesus, mi luz

Jesus, mi amor.

Eres el Pan de Vida

y la esparanza de mis dias.

Translated:

Jesus, my light

Jesus, my love

You are the Bread of Life

And the Hope for my days.

I really wanted to share this with you to show how much I have been encouraged this week that God is my provider. He will supply all I need. All the money I need for school and for missions. All the nourishment I need when I miss a meal. All the rest I need when I wake up early and don't get coffee. He is it. He is everything.
This knowledge encourages me to follow the path laid out for me, no matter how difficult, because I know He has taken care of all the needs that I have.
Isaiah 64:4 dice: "Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him."
If we wait on God, He will act on our behalf, just as He acted on behalf of Daniel and his friends while they were in captivity. Just as he acted on behalf of Nebuchadnezzar when he repented. Just as He acted on behalf of Stephen who saw heaven open up at the point of his greatest persecution. Just as He acted on behalf of every person who has ever turned to Him and received a Spirit of sonship. We now have the right to call Him, "Abba" which translated means, not "Father", although that is an appropriate name for God, but "Daddy" as a child in need, and in love with the one who provides for us. That is our God!
So, I have no challenge this week, just encouragement. I ask that you pray for my Spanish... It is getting better, but I am nervous about the trip next week. Thank you all for your continuous love and prayers. They mean more than I could explain in any language.

God is Bigger than Financial Aid

2009-10-18T14:20:00.003-07:00

I happen to know that many people read this blog on a weekly basis, and for this reason, I am consistently searching my journal and my Bible to find something significant to share with you. And, being that I was at a Women's Retreat the past two days, I would have expected to have something to share. But I have come up short of what I would normally consider blog-worthy material. I am sure many of you are shocked that I consider what I write before randomly vomiting words from my brain through my fingers to the screen, but I do. It is actually very important to me, and I consider it the one ministry I have to give back to those of you who have supported me so much. And today, I sit here writing about the fact that I have nothing to write about, but that was true, until I admitted to myself that I know exactly what to write about.
I know that there is only one thought that has filled my mind and my journal for most of my time since I last blogged. (Is that really a verb, now?)
That thought this: Where is the money going to come from? You see, though I know God will provide for whatever He calls me to, I find myself still lost in my flesh of worrying. At times, I feel certain that I must in some way help God out. What foolishness, I know. I am sure Paul was speaking directly to me when he wrote Galatians 3:3, he would call me foolish if he knew me, I'm sure. But I am admitting this to you now. I lack faith in this. I wish I could tell you that was completely at peace with this, but I am not. In this moment, I struggle with myself to rip my worries away from the old Rachael and hand them to my Heavenly Father. Indeed, Thursday, I was jumping with joy at the reassurance of God's desire to use me and my part in that, and last night, I was relaxing in the peace of His goodness (the theme of our retreat). But this is a daily struggle. I am constantly faced with the reality of a life without a paying job. But a life that God has called me to. And I cannot see past the moments where the money is gone.
I feel fairly convinced that this is my first glimpse into missionary life. As I go farther, there will probably be times where there is not even money to get me home, or to pay for the next meal. I so easily stumble in to thoughts of what could have been my future if I just transferred to ASU instead of coming here. Fortunately, I have learned so much already, and I would not exchange it for all the money in the world. And as much as I love the life God has given me and the future He has promised me, I am terrified of it. This a daily walk I have with my God, and I know He is big enough, but sometimes, I lose sight of that.
My prayer is that God would give me clarity of mind so that my fears and worries do not prevent me from making wise decisions about where to God next, and that I will hear His voice when He speaks to me.
I understand that I will play a part in fundraising, which I dread. My pride hates when I admit that I need help. And I know how it feels to be asked for money. I don't want to do it, but unfortunately, it is something most missionaries have to do.
Coupling this hatred of fundraising with my uncertain financial situation, next summer, and next school year seem completely hopeless. But that is why I am so happy that my Hope is not in this world. My hope is not in my own plans for the future. Or the money it will take for my dreams to be accomplished. My Hope is Christ. And I can do anything through the strength I have in Him.
The same is true for you. I know that the economic situation is getting worse for you. I am losing money every day that I don't exchange as I watch the dollar drop before my eyes, and I know that you are living in the home of that dollar. I am praying for so many friends and family members of myself and other students who are looking for work. And I wish I could be at home to work myself and support my parents instead of getting so much from them.
Here is my Scripture for you that I read this week. Proverbs 30:7-9 "Two things I ask of You, Oh LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown You and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal and so dishonor the name of God." I hope that I can say those words and mean it for as long as I live.
My challenge to you is the same that I face: trust that your God is big enough. He has endless resources, and He holds back no good thing. He will take care of you (and I am preaching to myself here) and He loves you.
Psalm 63:3 "Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You."
Please pray for me, as I begin planning for next semester. I have some tough decisions to make about how long I will be staying, and new visa laws are causing me to consider applying for residency. All the students here are making similar decisions. Some are still not sure if they are returning to Peru, or even if they will be headed home for Christmas.
1 Samuel 12:23 "As fro me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right."
Until next week, Adios.

Happy Birthday Sky-Bear

2009-10-11T13:23:00.004-07:00

Hola mis amigos y amigas de Blogger y Facebook. Hoy es de tiempo para yo escribo ustedes. Estoy muy feliz hoy porque yo puedo ver el sol y el cielo azul. :)

Ok, that was just proof that I am learning to speak some Spanish. I have made not of several verses I wanted to share with you this week, and I will share some with you, but this weekend I am particularly aware of the fragility of life.

One year ago yesterday, I was headed to a Women's Retreat with the ladies for my church and I was very distracted because my brother's wife, my dear Stephani, was in labor. The baby was coming several weeks early to his detriment. And she was ill with a rare liver condition. An emergency C-Section was performed that evening, and the baby was immediately placed in the NICU. I was a few hours drive away and feeling like I might as well be on the other side of the world. I felt helpless. I felt torn. I didn't understand why that weekend had to be the weekend that my family would go through such a time of uncertainty and I would have to miss the birth of my nephew, Skyler.

There is more to the story of how God used that weekend to get me here. But the most important thing, the reason I am sharing this with you, is that God taught me that I must depend only on Him. I must learn that I am never in more control of a situation just because I am closer to it physically. I need to learn to leave my struggles with Him, the Only Capable One. After teaching me this lesson, God blessed me with allowing me to see my nephew that Sunday and be the first person other than his parents and the hospital staff to hold him. I held his little hand as he was in the NICU tent and wondered at the beautiful, fragile life God had allowed me to be part of. At that time, I couldn't see a moment into his future. I couldn't imagine him breathing on his own, or sitting up, or laughing, or talking, crawling, learning to walk. He was so tiny. So helpless. He needed help even to breath. And then, he needed help learning to breath. And then, he needed his parents to feed him, and to watch his breathing.

And now, a year later, Skyler is huge! He is learning to walk and talk. He is silly, with a stubborn streak and a smile that will steal your heart. His laugh is loud and strong, and he needs no help downing a cup of whip cream from Starbucks or a chocolate cupcake (which are two of his favorite treats). He recognizes people by their face and their voice. He loves to play with his kitten, and he hates to see people leave. He is a person now, and he is growing so fast. And sometimes I feel like I am missing so much of it. But I know that just like the day he first left the safety of his mother's womb, God is there. God is helping him breath. God is watching over him, teaching him, and protecting him. Nothing will ever reach any of us that God is not aware of.

So why did God make our lives so fragile? I believe it was purely to drive us to the conclusion that we need God. And we all have this same need for God. Just as my little Sky-Bear needed help to breath his first couple weeks, we all need help breathing every breath. And every life is just as fragile. And so many fragile lives are being lived in the absence of the protection of God. He is perfectly aware of their need, and He is offering His help, but they must accept it. Some people can't hear Him calling, and we need to amplify His voice in their lives. That's the great commission. Us allowing people to come face to face with their own fragility.

When I was preparing to leave, I spent a lot of time with my niece, who happens to be my best friend. She asked me why I had to go to school far away, why I couldn't just go to school with my sister in state. (She's a very smart 3-year-old.) I told her I had to go because God told me to. Then she thought on this for a moment before responding, "But I want you to stay here and play with me." I told her that God wants me to do a lot of things, and one of them is to love her and play with her and tell her about Jesus, but there are a lot of kids who don't know about Jesus, and they don't have anyone to tell them, and that is why I am here. Anytime I get homesick, I remind myself of that conversation. I am here because so many kids don't know about Jesus, and I have a responsibility to fulfill the calling God has placed in my life and reach the kids He has given to me. Because they, also, need His help to breath.

And so I want to share this verse with you: "Oh that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest-- I would flee far away and stay in the desert!" Psalm 55:6-7

And this passage: "I became a servant of the gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of His power. ... I ask you, therefore, not to discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory." Ephesians 3:7, 13

I also want to aske you to pray for my grandma whose health is failing, any for my dad and my family because we would like to visit her if possible.

Speaker's Week

2009-10-04T13:21:00.003-07:00

Not a very exciting title this week, sorry. But this is all I think could appropriately define this week. Indeed, it was Speaker's Week, and the Speaker was Dan Edwards. It was an awesome class called "Principles of Ministry", and it was just what I needed.
Last Sunday ended with another awesome bilingual service, and plenty of sleep. Then, Monday, class started. I learned so much that I wish I could share with you, but that's just not practical. Friday, the class ended, and yesterday Dan and his wife flew back to CA. But the good news is that they are returning in January, and Dan will be a regular teacher at the Bible College. :)
Now, I would like to share with you the two most valuable things that I learned this week. One is definitely more "spiritual" than the other, but they both help me in my walk with Christ and have caused a lot of thinking this week.
First of all, I am completely, 100% positive that I am called to do drama ministry with young Christian actors, and I learned that my overwhelming desire is good. I have an unquenchable need to be active in planning, dreaming and otherwise preparing for this ministry. And it is sometimes difficult to appreciate the time I have here to learn because I desire so desperately to be doing this great thing that God has placed upon my heart. I can see how God has called me and confirmed that call in my life. I can see how He has carefully prepared me throughout my life for this. Also, we took a spiritual gifts test for class, and it said I have the gift of teaching... And another gift that I think was a fluke, but that's ok, I will believe this teacher thing. I find that makes sense to me.
Secondly, I learned that there are many kinds of adventures. And while I love the run-onstage-and-do-something-silly kind, and rather enjoy the fly-to-another-country-where-you-don't-speak-the-language kind, I am not at all fond of the walk-around-the-city-aimlessly-for-2-hours-without-a-destination kind. I really hate to do stuff that is not planned. I have gotten much better at dealing with changes in plans and even last minute plans, but no plans at all doesn't jive with my personality. Unfortunately that was lost to me when I decided to go for a walk on Thursday. I don't know what I was thinking. Matt, who happens to be a great leader, decided that we were going on an adventure, and I wanted to get off campus, so I agreed to go. I didn't realize at the time that this meant that he had no idea where he was leading us or that we would spend a majority of the night walking on seemingly endless cement roads.
I had slept quite a lot the night before and had a lot of pent up energy, so I was pretty bored at the leisurely pace of my 7 traveling companions who must have known better than I that we would need that energy in a couple hours. We stopped at a total of four public restrooms, a park, a museum, and a bookstore. There was some tree climbing and dog feeding that occurred, and I even rolled down a hill. By the end, I had enjoyed myself some, but I had also come to the conclusion that I am not adventurous by Matt's standard. And pretty much everyone else was loving it, and sick of my questions and complaints.
Please pray for me this week. I need prayer in two areas. One: My Spanish! And the second is that I would have the right words to say to some friends of mine. There are several people that have contacted me since I started Bible College who do not understand what is the most important thing I have ever known, and I want to be sensitive in sharing with them about my Lord. Thank you all for your love and support. Your prayers are so precious to me. I don't have a challenge this week, so think of one and post it as a comment for me. :)

¿Tan necios sois?

2009-09-27T14:15:00.003-07:00

Hello friends! I hope you are enjoying your lives half as much as I am enjoying mine. I know sometimes we all forget what a gift life is. We forget what a privilege it is to serve God. We forget what an undeserved honor it is to be called by Him into His family. I often look at my life in amazement. I can't believe that God would choose me over anyone else. And that is the focus of this week's rambling: My Weakness!
So, I just want to start by admitting that in the past I was often less than humble. Growing up in a Christian home, I was often judgemental of others and certain that I had my life pretty together. At least more than whoever happened to sit next to me in Sunday school. Then, about 4 years ago, I learned that I was completely wrong about myself. I was faced with, for the first time, the fact that next to God, my thoughts, plans and ideas are elementary at best.
Well, I was realizing that I had many areas of weakness, and so I began to work on them. I let God change me. I surrendered to Him any area which I saw as unpleasing, or less than great. And I know that was what God expected from me at the time. And God really worked at improving those areas in my life, and I am a better person because of it. But friends, He wasn't done.
You see, God does want our broken areas. He does want our weaknesses. He wants to change us and grow us in those areas. But He also wants our strengths. And if we don't give them to Him, He may just take them away.
Let me give you two examples: one from my life, and one from the Bible so you know I'm not just making stuff up.
This week, I was really struggling. Many of you, especially if you have known me for awhile, know that I am good with kids. God has given me natural talents in this area. I also believe I have been supernaturally gifted with the ability to teach. I hope that this doesn't sound arrogant because there is a point in me sharing this, and I get real humble by the end of the story, promise. Let me tell you, I taught Sunday school for the last two years, and there were times that I walked into a class having never seen the curriculum and threw together a lesson as I went. This is my strength.
But, let me tell you, the rules totally change when you throw in a new language. (And at the orphanage, there are 2 new languages: Spanish and Swiss German.) I went to the orphanage the last two weeks and tried to teach these kids ANYTHING, and they were not having it. I couldn't even get them to listen to me. I enjoyed my time with the kids but I felt kinda discouraged that I was completely unable to teach them. I didn't understand until I read the next example:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power my rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have heard this passage so many times, but it meant something so great to me this time. Paul is saying that he was strong. He had his own strength, and that was good to him. But God gave him a weakness to remind Paul to not boast in His strength and to remember that even in our strengths we need God.
In the same way, God brought me to the last place on earth I would have brought myself, where they speak the language I hated, and taught me that HE gave me my strength, and that in that strength, I still need Him. He made me weak so He could make me strong.
Now, if anything is accomplished in my ministry here, it will be obvious that God made it happen. And this is how I prepare myself. By reading Scriptures like this:
Psalm 46:1,5,10 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble... God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day... 'Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.'"
My challenge: that you would strive to rely on God in your strengths as well as your weaknesses.
Gálatas 3:3--"¿Tan necios sois? ¿Habiendo comenzado por el Espíritu, ahora vais a acabar por la carne?"

Because I love you, silly.

2009-09-20T14:32:00.002-07:00

So I have not taken any blog worthy photos in awhile. So, I am unable to share my life via photos this week. I am not a photographer, I never have been. So, I sincerely apologize for all you visual people who need images to understand. I don't work that way.
Now, moving past that, I will start this week's blog by saying that I never in my 4 years in Arizona thought that I would for one second miss the wretched desert. But I do. I miss the warmth and the sunshine. (Although, I know you can't imagine this right now, I am sure this will sound lovely in about a month.) I miss my parents, my siblings, my niece and nephew. I miss my church. I miss my friends. I miss free coffee. Yes, I long to be physically with all the people who have made up my life as I made the most significant growth and transition. But I actually found myself thinking that Arizona itself, without these people, is not really that bad. As I write this, I feel as if I am betraying the land I once called home, and still remember fondly, Sacramento, and hope to go there and visit some of my oldest and best friends. But I have no desire to live in California anymore. And for the first time, when people ask where I am from, I answer, "Arizona". I still often feel the need to elaborate that I am originally from California, but I do claim Arizona, now, despite my own amazement at the very thought.
On that note, let me continue by sharing how God has moved in my life this week. This week was less eventful than others, and so I wish to summarize it all at once instead of day by day. I did much of the same. Studying, reading, listening to Chuck Smith explain the Bible. But most importantly, this week, my heart was heavy. I was a little sad, and homesick. I prayed a lot for my family. For my grandmother who is now in the hospital. For my sister-in-law who has been sick for about a year, and finally got a diagnosis of a faulty gallbladder, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. For my sister who is starting college and having a hard time making friends. For my other sister and her husband who have been struggling to find good work. For my nephew who is teething. For my mom who works so hard and spends hours trying to make church a fun place of learning. For my dad who is the head of this family and strives to honor Christ in all areas of his life. For my brother who is trying to just pay the bills. For my niece who can't understand why she has to go to the doctor when her ears hurt. All these people have meant more to me than words can describe. And I felt very helpless this week as their needs have seemed exceptionally real to me. I wish I could be with them and solve everything.
But the truth is, even if I was there, I couldn't solve anything. I wouldn't be able to make those problems disappear. In fact I would just make things worse because I would be miserable. I know that right now I am in the middle of God's will, and if I was at home, I would be sinning, and if there is one thing I've learned from sharing a bathroom with 6 other girls, it is that everything you do or don't do affects everyone around you.
So, it would logically follow that I feel completely hopeless and desperately sad about the whole situation, and if I was depending at all on myself, I would. But praise God that He is my hope. And He loves my family much more than I ever could. And He has called me to love Him first. And He is the One who is taking care of everything. All I have to do is pray and obey.
And He doesn't leave me alone to go through this, but He has surrounded me with other believers who are my eternal family and are there to help me carry any burdens life throws my way.
My verses for this semester so far have been Matthew 10:37-39--

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I have come to see how this plays out in real life. And it's definitely worth it.

So the challenge: Who do you love most? If it's not God, that's the challenge.

An Inherited Blessing

2009-09-12T16:52:00.008-07:00

So, many of you have asked me to share more pictures, so I have posted several on my Facebook profile, and I have made a point of taking at least one each day. I started with the picture of me dancing in bright colors because, as I see it, that was definately a highlight of the week, but as I have in the past, I will continue with my day-to-day exposition of God's work in me, here, in Lima.
This is a sight I didn't expect to see, but after a day of studying Matthew, I walked outside and saw Tim climbing into his room. I was pretty concerned for his safety, at the point the picture was taken. However, knowing there was little to be done to help him, I could not miss this photo oportunity.
Tuesday was a fairly uneventful day. I was an uneventful day. I actually did basically nothing most of the day because I was not feeling well. But on Tuesday night I finished a video I made for my sister-in-law, Stephani. It was her birthday on Wednesday, and I just wanted to make sure she knew that I love her and I think about her often.

This picture is of me and my good friend Bailey. She sleeps in the room adjoining mine. And I love her! She is the same age as me, but on her third semester here. After Bible College she will probably go back to the university and finish her business degree. She works in the coffee shop for her M1 (which is basically a required chore that we have to do for credit). Wednesday was a crazy busy day, but I did manage to finish my Genesis Chuck Tracks! It was a good day of God teaching me the importance of character over the desire for knowledge. While it is good to study God's word, study is pointless without application.

This is the sign over the door in the front of our classroom. This sign stares at me all day long, and sometimes I find myself staring back. Usually I just find myself thinking about Finding Nemo, but lately it has taken on new meaning to me. It reminds me of what I wrote in my last update: God always provides an escape from temptation. So now, I am seeing that more and more, and I pray for God to keep showing me that whenever I see that sign over my classroom door. (And sometimes I still think about Finding Nemo and try not to laugh.) Also, on Thursday, I went tree climbing in the park, but we all forgot to bring our cameras.
And now, the day you have all been thinking about since you stumbled across my page. Or maybe you know me well enough not to be surprised by the crazy picture at the beginning of this post. Either way, I am here to let you know that I was a finalist in the Day of Colors Contest. We all dressed in the most colorful outfits we could comprise, and mine was in the top three. Then we had a dance off, and I, of course, lost. But Carlos had an awesome outfit, and an equally awesome show. This was a fun and relaxing time. Just what we all needed after a few weeks of intense study. I love it here!

On that note, let me end my week. I had more fun yesterday at the orphanage, and then did some dishes and talked to my family. Traci, my friend from AZ, is returning to the Grand Canyon State tonight, and so we went out last night.

Since I have been here, I see how God is changing me into His image. It is a slow process, and the more He changes me, the more I am able to see how much there is still left to change. I am excited to share this whole experience with all of my dear friends in the US, and with my new friends here. I know that God is preparing me for something new and exciting. I am pretty sure that I will be home in two years starting work on a brand new ministry, but I see more each day that God is teaching me things here I would never have learned at home. I am learning through living with strangers and a lack of freedom the importance of loving others and depending on God. All this is changing me a little at a time into the servant God needs to serve the people I love so much back home. I need this time of training to prepare me for the ministry I want so badly to jump into right now. I pray that God will bring me back to you a woman after His heart who can be used to serve His people. And I challenge you all to pray that He would bless you with the same.

It's so COOOOLLLDDDD here!

By the grace of God, there go I.

2009-09-06T16:45:00.003-07:00

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."
This sounds like It could be the line of a great song... one that I would love to write, but it's not. It's the inspired word of God through His servant Paul to the church in Corinth. (1 Cor 10:12) And it's what God was telling me last week, and this week. That I need to watch myself. Watch my actions, my words, my thoughts, my heart. I am here to draw close to God, and to share Him with the world, but that won't happen if I think I have it figured out already. I didn't even realize that I was about to fall.
So, let me share some of my week with you. Sundays here are always amazing. But last Sunday, there was an especially amazing concert at the church... Awesome!
The rest of my free time was mostly spent reading Fox's Book of Martyrs, which I totally recommend to someone who has countless hours of free time and a stomach for unmentionable torture to those who bravely and proudly bore the name of Christ. And, thankfully, all the reading and studying paid off with an 'A' in Church History.
On Wednesday night, I talked with my dear little niece... She gave my teachers and roommates nicknames which I will never forget. But otherwise my week was rather uneventful until Friday.
I guess we all just decided that it was time to celebrate the end of Church History. I went shopping with Ivy, our Dean of Women. And bought some gummy worms and tape. Then I went to "the cliffs" with a bunch of other students. Basically, it's a really high cliff above the highway where you can see the ocean. It's pretty cool.
Then, on Saturday, I just had a bad day, from the moment I woke up, everything seemed to bother me. I am not sure why. Then, lunch was late. This was an issue not only because I was hungry but because Saturday is the day most of us have afternoon ministries right after lunch. So those of us with Saturday dishes want lunch to be on time so we can go on ministry.... Needless to say, I was less than thrilled with the situation. Not to mention, we are short two hands in the kitchen because one student went home, and the other person helping me was terribly ill and should have been in bed. So I walked by myself, an hour late, to an orphanage I had never been to with less than perfect directions... But I made it. Then, we were kicked out early, only to be informed that mornings really are more ideal. So, next Saturday, will be better! :)
All this to show you that this week, I was tempted to complain, to judge others, to hate, to ask Why?, to give up and give in. And many times I did one or another of theses. I am NOT perfect. But thanks be to God that He does not expect Perfection. In fact, David in Psalm 26 claims to have lived a life blameless before God, and we know He sinned. So what is this blameless life? According to this Psalm, it is to trust in the Lord "without wavering", to "walk continually" in His truth. And David pleaded that God would be merciful and redeem Him on behalf of His blamelessness.
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." If we have a relationship with God, and offer ourselves to Him, we are made blameless in Him. And through that blamelessness, we can plead for redemption. We can confess and restore that blamelessness each time we sin.
But even in this blameless state, we must be careful not to think we have somehow "arrived" at perfection. That we have excelled in this process we call "Christianity". But we must be on guard and look for a way out when we are tempted. Because in the next verse, Paul also says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Do not be fulled, there is always an escape for sin, and there are always open arms waiting to forgive you when you fail to access that escape.
So, now, I will end this week's entry with a prayer and a challenge.
The challenge is for you to seek the escape, and be open to confession in order to live that blameless life.

Dear Lord, Please break me so I am worthless in the eyes of man. Then, build me up with Your Word, fill me with Your Spirit, and bind me with Your love. Hold me close to You to You so that I am surrounded by Your presence. Then, teach me to be like You, as I go before man. Do this so they may glorify You. In all this help me to love the way I can't and the way I don't want to. To even love those whom the world expects me to hate. Thank you for choosing me, unworthy and ugly as I am in comparison to Your holy perfection. I love You because You have shown me what love is. Thank You for shoeing me Your delight in me. Use me, Lord. Here I am. Use me.

Mi vida!

2009-08-30T20:43:00.006-07:00

Logging on, I see that it has been awhile since I have read many blogs... So I almost feel guilty posting with the expectation that you will read mine. But as I promised to keep my family and friends up-to-date on Lima happenings, here it is from Sunday to Sunday. (Or should I say Domingo?)

Last Sunday, we all went the 11:00 am Spanish Service at Calvary Chapel Lima. I understood more than I expected, adn even learned some Spanish. Lunch, as always, was good. Then I just hung out til dinner time. Then, we went to Enfoque! The best service I've been to in awhile, billingual, with great teaching. (Enfoque means focus, ie Jesus es mi enfoque.)

Monday, I started class, and it's basically amazing. But the book is hard to read. Mostly because it is so easy to get distracted.... I have to read over 300 pages by Friday morning! We are studying Church History in light of Acts and Jesus letters to the 7 churches in Revelations. It is really sad to see how we are now in the Age of Apostacy. I pray that young believers would rise up and be filled with a passion to reach the people dying around them. I have such a heart for America's youth, and being here, I am even more convinced that I will return to them and be a light for Christ there someday. I just don't know how long I will be gone. I feel like Paul, longing to see my people come to Christ, but seeing acceptance from anyone but them.

Tuesday, I lead devotions.... It was crazy that I went first. Each day a different student leads, but I am first and last (ironic) and I am the only one who will lead it 4 times instead of 3. I spoke about how sacrificing our lives for God is our reasonable act of worship. And that is something God was teaching me a lot on my way here.

Wednesday and Thursday... more of the same. Classes. Homework. Chill time. Thinking that denominations and 'movements' are not perfect, and I can't wait til the Body is all one, whcn we are united with our bridegroom.

Friday, I witnessed to a friend, and tried to give a reason for the hope that is within me... I was frustrated. (But God reminded me the next morning that I do not win souls, and that I must keep sharing my faith.)

Saturday: Field Trip Day! We went to the Museum of the Inquistion here, and to a church. Can you say Paganism? And perverting the name of Christ.... terible'. We had some Chifa (Chinese food) for dinner. AWESOMENESS!!! Then we watched Star Wars Episode IV.

Today, I went to church in Spanish and in English. Then ate lunch. Then down time... mostly because I was locked out of mi cuarto. Then, dinner, and an awesome concert. Fantastic!

Please pray that my Spanish will improve, and that I will learn how to walk blameless before my God... He has given me the word "blameless" several times this week, and I am sure it means something important to my near future.

My Week in Lima

2009-08-23T13:20:00.006-07:00

Ok, so I only arrived Wednesday night, but I figured that Sunday was a good day to post a regular week-to-week update, so we will call this week one. I have been trying to journal every night so I don't forget anything I wish to share with you. So, here is a basic rundown of my week and some pictures (more to come) because everyone loves pictures! :)

This is on the wall by our lounge area. I took more pictures, but the internet is slow, so I don't want to load more right now.

This is what I see when I step out of my room. It is coool. In case you know zero Spanish, that means, "Jesus loves you."

This is the desk and closet shared by four girls including me...

The last picture is my bunk bed, I'm on top... It isn't that messy anymore.

Thursday: I woke up in Lima. I was scared. It was early and cold. I wasn't sure who or where anyone was. i wandered aroung for awhile before doing what I knew I should: read my Bible.
Then I prayed, "LOrd, show me why you have brought me here." By lunch, I had made many friends. By dinner, I heard many testimonies, and by bedtime, I was convinced, and still am, that I am in God's will and that Lima has much to offer.
I have Masa's picture by ny head and my fairwll cards under my pillow. Every night I fall asleep to audio books and prayer for you all.

Friday: We had a great day. I met even more people. Some of us went for a walk around the block and I was finally able to exchange some money. John Bonner is the head pastor of the church and basically in charge. His son graduated that day, and is leaving soon for York, England. So we celebrated with him today. I am so glad the Lord has brought me here with all these great people. I can't wait to see what He will do in and through us this semester.

Saturday: Orientation.... It wasn't too bad. It was pretty exciting to talk about the semester ahead. I also talked to Traci a lot (she's from AZ, and we met before we came). Which is good because we needed to catch up. We also got to meet John's wife Pilar. She had all the girls over for waffels and ice cream. Yum. It was a fun time.
There is always an opportunity to be doing something here. My prayer for my fellow students is to seek God first and to make quiet time a priority when we get busy with our studies this week.

I will put today's summary in next week's post as there is still much of the day ahead of me. Please pray for the students as we continue to seek God's direction for our lives beyond this semester.

I´m here!

2009-08-19T23:11:00.001-07:00

Well, the room is dark, so I´m not too sure what it actually looks like. And I can´t get my stuff out without waking my roommate. And I suddenly feel certain that something is going to go wrong. But maybe that is lack of sleep. Still, I am super excited. I just don´t know what to do. I made it through the customs and imigration with no mishaps or missing bags, so I´m off to a good start.

--Rachael

Sky Harbor

2009-08-19T06:47:00.001-07:00

I am just waiting for my flight and completely excited. I said my goodbyes and was sent away with a prayer. I am hoping to meet up with a classmate in TX. I feel certain that God has great plans for me on this trip! I will blog again soon, but I wanted to get down all my initial leaving thoughts.

Right now, I am so greatful to all of you who are praying for me and are supporting me in so many ways. I can't wait to share with you all that God does over the next few months! See you soon! We just started boarding!

--Rachael

I think I figured it out finally!

2009-08-18T21:18:00.002-07:00

If you are reading this... it worked!

Test..1..2...3

2009-08-15T23:25:00.001-07:00

Hey there bloggers. (This may post twice. I am emailing this as a test to see if I can post via email. This way, even if blogger doesn't work, I will be able to post from anywhere!!!) I wanted to say I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have had a crazy month. I was so busy preparing for my trip, and working. Then, I have been sick and well, it really doesn't matter.
So, what you really want to know is where I am on this journey with my Prince. Well, so far, I have been on this roller coaster of emotions. I am sometimes excited, sometimes terrified, and mostly just ready to go. I want to squeal in the anticipation of what I will meet on the road ahead, and cry at the sad thought of what I am leaving behind. Today was the emotional climax (so far).
In all my life, I have become very close to few people. There are four families I can think of in California (I am still in touch with them all), but most live here in the Pheonix area. I am leaving behind my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, two sisters and my parents. I am leaving behind the comforting power of my purring kitties. I am leaving behind two great church families who have come to mean more than words can testify. I am leaving behind children who I have watched grow for years. I am leaving behind two of my three closest friends, and a college group that better exemplifies the church of Acts than any congregation I have previously been part of.
But all of this is not in vain. And I say this with confidence for many reasons.
First of all, because all of you have surrounded me with love and support. Because I am following the prayers of righteous men. I am being held up in prayer like Moses. I am going with the support, not only of the people I love, but of people who love my Lord.
Secondly, I am not really leaving forever. Since I first felt called to ministry I have learned a lot about the life style of the missionary and my previous misconceptions have slowly been torn away. I want you to know that even though I call Sacramento my home town, I have learned it is not my home. Niether, though, is AZ. And niether is Peru. I am merely a visitor on this planet, and I find "home" in the company of my family, the Body of Christ. You are all my home. And one day, we will be at home together. And we will laugh at the idea of seperation, because our temporal lives will seem as only a moment.
Third, I am not alone on this journey. I go to do the work the Lord has already prepared in advance for me. I know He will be with me, and that I will always have have His Holy Comfortor, even when I feel lonely. I will not go anywhere He has not been or He has not allowed me to go. I feel confident in His calling on my life. Which leads to my final point.
I do not leave in vain, for this is a work of eternal reward. I am doing this for my God, and this is a step to show that this is not my life. I know that now. I can say that with conviction. I still try to claim it sometimes, but this life is His: I'm just along for the ride.

I don't know where I will be in ten years, five years or even a year from now, and the part of me that packed two weeks early absolutely can't stand that. And everytime, I see the face of my niece, I ask God why. But I am learning to constently empty that "me" out and replace it with the Word of God, which tells me not to even worry about tomorrow. The Word tells me that even to be hated by my family would be a blessing if it was for the glory of God, and I am much more blessed than that.
Thank you too all who have helped me get this far in my life and ministry. I love you and am more greatful than you could know this side of eternity.
My challenge: Ask yourself, and God, what you should leave behind for His sake?

Loving my Life

2009-07-15T00:06:00.003-07:00

Well, to start off, I had a great experience with my niece last week. She has been desperately upset with me that I am moving "far away to go to school". She has been asking me why for awhile now. I usually just say something like, "It's just something I have to do" or "Everyone goes to different schools and mine is just far." But we were driving and those answers weren't cutting it. (You see, all our important Why-Because conversations happen in the car. During a monsoon one day, she asked, "Why does it rain?" I then told her the story of the flood.)
Finally she said, "But why do you have to go to that school? I just want you to play with me every day."
"I need to do what God wants," I told her, "and God wants me to go to that school."
"Why?" I was really starting to hate that word.
"Because I the Bible tells us that we can show Jesus we love Him by doing what He wants. Part of that is playing with you and teaching you about Jesus. But there are other people who don't know about Jesus, and He wants me to tell them how much He loves them." At this point we entered a parking lot with a familiar green circular sign.
"Are we at Starbucks, now? I thought we were going to a friend's house with hamsters." And the conversation ended.
Last night, I was talking to her mom, certain my niece hated me for planning my trip. Her mom assured me that she is fine. She told her mom that I have to go because God told me to, and I have to tell other kids about Jesus. I am crying now just thinking about it. She is such a blessing!
In other news, and we know I always have other news, my life has been spinning around for the last, oh two months. Not that it was ever calm before that, but its roller coaster-ish right now. Between work, babysitting, drama, and family, I have had no time for my friends. I realize many people face the same issue, and so I feel this is a universal topic. But God showed me something great.
He reminded me of something I think I forget too easily.
God desires our happiness.
I am a fairly friendly and outgoing person, and in the absence of my dear friends (especially Masa and the newest Mrs. Reade) I have started to feel lonely. I have felt a fear that this loneliness will continue and strengthen as I go to Peru. Unfortunately, I was beginning to feel that this was God's desire; that I walk alone through this new experience.
Through this time, God has given me some new contacts with girls from my new school. One even lives in this area! And I am hoping to meet her before we leave the country. He proved His love by sending me words of unity and encouragement from others in the same situation as me.
He also brought me some older-sister figures into my life who have lead me closer to Him and held up my arms in prayer. He also grew another level in my relationship with my family that I think will keep us close as I travel the world.
Many Christians feel they must always be a martyr, suffering in their walk. They must be alone, secluded and desperate, or they aren't following God. This isn't true.
Sometimes, God does call us to a time alone with Him. Sometimes God allows such times to grow us in our faith and dependence on Him, but He never intended for us to be alone as a life style. If you don't believe me, read Paul's letter to the Philippians. He loved them, and reminded them of the importance of fellowship and unity.
Looking back, this is not the first time my Daddy God has done this for me. In fact, I have many sisters in Christ who have come into my life when I needed them most. I know that they are each gifts from God, and I am thankful that He loves us enough to bring us together in Him.
So, here's the challenge: if you have felt lonely, go out and find a godly, Christian friend who can encourage you in your faith, and remind you of God's desire to bless you. And if you are in that place, alone with God, rest in Him and see what He has for you. He is great company.

Trusting in God

2009-07-06T15:33:00.002-07:00

Dear Family and Friends—
This year has been a rollercoaster of faith and doubt for me. In September, I found out about an opportunity to serve God in Ethiopia, and I made a step of faith to go. In the months between the decision and the actual trip, I faced many doubts and fears (and even a car accident). But God proved His faithfulness over and over again to me. Through financial miracles and great sacrifices of family, friends, and even some people I have never met, God provided for me to travel across the globe and serve those who could never dream of the kind of money I spent to get there.
Since my trip to Ethiopia, I have applied and been accepted into Calvary Chapel Bible College in Lima, Peru. Throughout my life, I now see, God has used every little success and struggle to prepare me for the next task He has for me. I believe that through my studies in Peru the next two years, I will grow closer to God, and become thoroughly prepared to serve Him where He next calls me. I am trusting that God will provide for me, and my parents have been beacons of hope and pillars of strength as they remind me that our God is faithful and will never let me down.
Now, here’s the part where you come in. While I am in Peru, I will be participating in some missions projects that could cost anywhere from $130 to $450. I also recently learned of an opportunity to study for a week in Israel. I am certain God will provide for me whatever I will need, but I know that provision may come from other believers who wish to share in the blessings I am sure to experience through this service. Any amount you could spare would be greatly appreciated.
So many of you have given me so much support, spiritually and financially, in the past, and I am asking that you give now only what you feel God is asking of you and nothing more. I value your love and prayers so much more than your money, and hope that you will remember me as I continue my race to eternity.

If you would like to help me financially, please click on my Chip-In Widget (or ask me for more information).

Who's your Daddy?

2009-06-21T14:17:00.003-07:00

Since it is Father's Day, I would just like to say thank you to all the fathers who may have stumbled across my blog. Especially, my dad who I cannot thank enough.
But it's been more than a month since I've posted and I have something to get out, so I'll try not to spend to much time rambling at the beginning like I usually do.
In two months time I will be in Peru, so that is that. Moving on.
Today, I spent time with my dad by attending church with my parents. They are part of a church plant. Mom leads the kids, and Dad heads up their men's ministry. I don't visit there often, since I am so involved in my church, but I am blessed each time. Today was special because there was a child dedication.
I love these. At our church, Pastor K. gets so excited to see the little babies and children and pray over each one, and our friend Pastor Scott is not much different. Quite a few children were dedicated this Father's Day, including his own youngest son. But that wasn't what got me. It was the last two babies dedicated that made me tear up today, and not because they were cute (which they were), but because they were foster kids.
Their foster parents have such love and commitment for these children, that they brought them before the church and dedicated them to the Lord. And as the pastor spoke, I couldn't help but think of something my mom had told me when my oldest sibling left for the Navy. She said, "Its not easy to watch your baby leave, but he doesn't belong to me. He belongs to God, and he's only mine for a little while."
I have always loved to hear stories of adoption because they remind me of how God, like adoptive parents saught us out and was willing to pay a great price to make us His children. And as Christians, that is what we are. He is our Father, the Bible tells us that our spirit calls Him ABBA, Daddy. He is our Lord, yes; our Savior, of course, but also our Daddy. He made us His. And He longs, just like any adotive father, to hear us call Him that. We have been reborn into His family and are now co-heirs with His Only Begotten Son, Jesus.
But while on this earth God has given us each "foster" parents. Some of us are fortunate in the way Jesus was to have earthly parents like Mary and Joseph. I also have parents who love God and have chosen to raise me and my siblings to follow His Word and to love Him as they do.
Like those babies I saw today, my parents realize that although I am only theirs for a little while, they have a great responsibility to care for me, not just for my sake, but for the glory of their Abba God who has trusted them with four of His own children.
Many Christians, unfortunately are not blessed like I to have loving Christian parents. However, many times God provides them with other earthly "foster parents". My own parents were such to many a child, teen , young adult, and baby Christian my whole childhood, and are now to many more. Many find great mentors in church leaders, pastors, or just the nice couple in the next pew. They are just people who love their Father, and accept His call to care for His children, just for a little while. Like my mom and dad, they care and provide for them with the knowledge that they are not their own, all the while loving and sacrificing for them as if they were.
So today, Father's Day, I am exceeding greatful for my Heavenly Father and the love and grace He gives me each day, especcially in the form of my very own earthly father, and the other men, who have at times taken on the role of "foster father" in my life.
My challenge: Say a prayer for your own earthly father, whether or not He is a Joseph, and for the other men who have been like a father to you. Thank God for His great plan in bringing them each into your life, and for preparing them for the work He has called them to do for His kingdom.
Happy Fathers Day!

Crazy Weekend

2009-05-18T10:09:00.003-07:00

So last week was the last week of school for me at EMCC. I finished me Associates, not with the 4.0 I had hoped and strived for, but I finished. And I graduated on Friday. My whole family was there to cheer me on, and Serene asked when it would be time to yell, "Go Serene!"

On Saturday, I woke up early with a mission. I chopped off my hair! I will post a picture soon, but just imagine me, without about a foot of hair and that's it. I donated it to Locks of Love, so I don't miss it at all. I hope some one else enjoys wearing it as much as I enjoy not carrying it.

I am sure Serene has about 15 more years to wait, but Leah's turn is today! She is graduating from High School (2 of us finally made it through the same school).
I am more excited for her than I was for myself! I am sure gonna miss her when we both move away in August, but we have great plans of fun days spent packing and sorting through childhood memories for this summer. :) I am so proud of my little genius, who, I might add, got into one of the top engineering programs in the country to study computer science. (That is why I really don't need to know much about computers.)
Congrats Leah! You did it! We did it! Even made it through 4 years in this blazing desert! Love ya!

There's a First Time for Everything

2009-05-11T00:38:00.004-07:00

And this Friday is a big first in my family. I will be the first to get a college degree. I graduate with an AA in General Education. Then, on Monday, Leah graduates from HS. She will be the first to attend a University. Her and I will both live away from home from the first time. And since we are so close, I will miss her. We shared a room most of our lives. Now, we will live on separate continents. Talk about a tough transition, who will help me when I don't know which button to push on the computer? Who will teach me how to use my first iPOD, and my first laptop?
Then, I will be the first to go to Peru in August, and in October, my nephew will celebrate his first birthday. And then, in November, I will miss my dad's birthday and Thanksgiving with my family for the first time.
Soon, my parents will live alone. Just the two of them, for the first time. Though they swear otherwise, I am sure they will miss us.
While some of these firsts are sad, they share something in common: they are undoubtedly exciting. Anything is exciting, if a little scary, the first time. They share that common element of the unknown. But I am so glad because then, I must make a choice of where to place my faith. My prayer right now is that my family and I all put our faith in Christ as we approach all these firsts, both good and... not so good. That we remember, that although for us it is a first, for God there is no such thing. He is beyond time, and so He has experienced and is already experiencing the firsts of all mankind throughout all history eternally. And He is prepared to face all of our firsts for us.
So, as I plan to pack my first items into my suitcase, and take that first step into the Sky Harbor International terminal (and symbolically a whole new life), I will trust that Jesus is the Lord of Firsts. He is Alpha God, and He is in control. He was here with me before history. And like a good pastor friend of mine said today, God has no beginning. Remember the words of God to Moses: "Before Abraham was, I AM."
And the words of John: "In the beginning was the Word." And that same Word, from the beginning of time has a life of good works set out for me, and for you. If He stepped out of time, and planned my life, and yours, in a way that leads to Him, would He not take care of a life of obedient service to Him after we have responded to His call?
Amen, He would, and HAS. And I am so hopeful in my firsts before me, and even those I don't yet know. But most importantly, the First I await the most is the first time I see Him physically. If I missed every other first to see Him sooner, I would have missed nothing.

Have a great day, its the first time you've seen this today. Embrace it in the Lord of Firsts.

In less than 4 months I will be ...

2009-04-29T22:24:00.002-07:00

In PERU!!! It's true. I got my acceptance letter last Friday, and I leave in August!
I graduate in about two weeks, then I have a summer: school free. It should be loads of fun, working at Starbucks and hanging with some cool kids (who happen to be the children of some church staff). But while I enjoy this summer, my mind will be swarming with thoughts of luggage, visas, school supplies and learning Spanish.
In fact, this may come as no surprise to some of you, but I am already starting to make lists. I have started planning what needs to be planned. That list looks like this:
1. Flight/travel
2. Classes
3. Supplies
4. Shots :/
5. Paying for school
6. Missions fundraising
7. Packing
8. Learn Spanish!

Then there is the list of what I would like to/am required to have for school. It looks like this:
1. LAPTOP
2. IPOD
3. Digital Camera
4. Bible Software
5. Bilingual Bible
6. Books
7. "Chuck Tracks"

Then there is the list of toiletries that I will need while I am there.... I haven't decided yet which ones to buy extras of here, and which ones to bring one of and buy more there. That's really a space issue.
1. Tooth brush (ok, that one is coming on the plane)
2. Tooth paste (ditto)
3. Contact solution (checked luggage for sure)
4. Shampoo/Conditioner
5. Shower gel/soap
6. Lotion
7. Curling spray for my hair (that's the first thing in my checked bag after contact solution)
8. Deodorant
9. Razors
10. Make-up (foundation, lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner)
11. Hair accessories (pins, rubber bands)

The final list is clothing, since I already have bedding and linens taken care of... This list will be made as it gets closer, since I really do still need to wear these clothes. For now, I think I will start stocking up on toiletries so it doesn't come as a big expense in August. I will probably pack and repack all summer! I love packing... yes, I'm a weirdo. But God has so designed me for travel. I am certain that is why I don't care about make-up, using public restrooms doesn't bother me, and I love to learn languages and try new foods (most of the time; just don't ask me about what I ate on my birthday in Ethiopia).

"80 grand later and I found out all that I had learned"

2009-04-23T00:31:00.002-07:00

"Is that you should show up to take your finals and your midterms."

So, again my life reflects a Relient K song. But its really my sister's fault. She gives me these CDs she burns with catchy tunes. Today (well, I guess it is yesterday now) I picked up all my stuff for graduation... YAY! One less thing to do. In just a few weeks I will have my Associates. I'll be the first in my family, too. It's weird and exciting.
I guess what is so weird is that I feel like in some classes I didn't learn much. Like in the song, I just showed up. However, I guess I learned enough to keep a 4.0, so I can't complain.
In 2 years at EMCC, I have taken:
-1 Math (After testing into Calc, I decided on MAT142, the lowest level they allowed me to take.)
-2 Lab Sciences (They both were Biology, the only science I ever understood)
-2 Computer classes (I abhor these classes, so I took them online over winter breaks)
-2 English classes (Reasons 1 and 2 why I decided not to become an English teacher, which had been my dream since I was 8)
-3 Religion courses (My favorite. Fun classes, fair teacher, lots of learning via discussion)
-1 Mythology (I agree, it should be considered a religion course.)
-2 Psychology classes (In which the instructor tried to convince me to switch majors.)
-1 Sociology class (Gender and Society, which I affectionately referred to as Feminism 101 (ok, so it was really affectionate)
-2 Communication classes (which taught me that talking to people usually means convincing them you are right)
-1 Story telling class (I read them The Tale of Three Trees.)
-2 Sign Language classes (which are not helping my attempts to learn Spanish)

And now, I get to take the classes I have been waiting to take since my second semester here, when I finally admitted that I secretly wanted to go to Bible College. I really don't want to major in English. I really don't want to live in the same spot my whole life with a comfortable income. I want to recklessly abandon this world and live an extreme life of faith. Why? Because one day, I realized something.

When I was fourteen, and in eighth grade, I learned a lesson more valuable than anything I learned from school. I was at a youth camp. We were all worshiping God, and learning about how great He is. We were getting convicted and rejoicing together. For the most part, we all new our Savior. It was then that it hit me. We are so blessed. We KNOW Jesus. We have the opportunity to worship, and to be convicted and rejoice together because we know HIM. But what about the rest of the world? I realized that a majority of the people I saw everyday were going to Hell, and that I was doing nothing to stop them from dying in their sin. I was afraid to share my faith. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of getting to close to sinners. I was just plain scared. But I felt what one author refers to as the Blow Fish Feeling. I knew what I needed to do, but I didn't know how. I knew I couldn't do it myself, but I felt like a blow fish about to explode if I didn't.
God has taught me that He wants to use me. He'll do all the work through me, I just have to be willing. This is true for all Christians. Maybe you don't feel called, like me, into full time ministry as a career, but you have been called by God to reach others for His Kingdom. And when you come face to face with that fact, and the real gravity of it, I believe it will drastically change your life.
I want to present a challenge to you. I don't know how many people read this blog, but I am doing to do this, and I would like you to join me.

My challenge is this: Ask God to show you what it will take for you to be the person He wants you to be. When He shows you--do it.
It sounds simple, but trust me its not. I have been saying this prayer for a few weeks now: "God, what do you want me to do for you, today?"
I told you in my recent post, He asked me to give up television. He has asked me to give up dreams. He has asked me to love people who are hard to love. He has asked me to find time for Him first. These are not easy things. But I find that when I just do them, I find peace with a God who loves me more than I could imagine. And He is more than able to take care of me, despite what I think.

Set Apart

2009-04-17T19:09:00.003-07:00

Ok, so I've been thinking and pondering about what I should include in this blog. I hope you all can understand my ramblings; lately, I have started to feel that sometimes, when I talk, I come across like a cross between an extremist and a lunatic. And, perhaps, I am somewhere in between normal and crazy, but I promise, there is some validity and logic behind my speech... most of the time.
My last two posts have been about my college group, and let me just say thank you for all who have been praying. We, also, have had regular prayer meetings, which have lent great encouragement and growth to this young body of believers. Please continue to pray for us as we seek individual and communal direction.
Over my last two years in this adventure known as college life, I have been consistently forced to examine myself. I examine my attitude, relationships, lifestyle, diet, homework habits, everything constantly and for various reasons and with various scrutiny. Lately, God has been gently pushing me to look deeper.
It started, I'm pretty sure, when I finally sent in my application for Bible College. I had still been thinking, "God, I know you have called me to ministry, and I can't wait to learn more at school next year so I can finally answer that call."
God stopped me. And very lovingly, He inspired me to remember what I already knew about the life of a Christian: No matter where we are "called" in the future, ministry begins where we are. Here and now. So I prayed a dangerous prayer: "Lord," I said, in fear, but full of faith, "show Yourself to me, and use me in my here and now. Please do whatever you need to do to me to make me the woman you have called me to be. I am not worthy of this calling, but I know you can work beyond my weakness. I am your servant."
I caution you, if you are thinking about praying a prayer such as this, you will never regret it, but it will change your life.
God answered this prayer.
For a while, God had been challenging me to let go of this world and the things that have attached me to it. I had felt a conviction to give up something many of us worship: my TV time.*
It started when He began to gently call me to His side. When we did speak, the conversation went a little like this.
"Rachael,"(yes, when I pray, I know God calls me by name, and no, it's not audible) "Rachael, why don't you stay with Me a little longer. I have so much more to show you about Myself and where you need to be as My child."
"But God," (I'm sure you can hear the inner 7-year old as I whine to my Heavenly Father) "I've already spent hours at school, and at work, and doing homework, and working on ministry, and spending time encouraging Your children. All of these things You have asked of me. All of them, I have done for You."
And sometimes, God was quiet, allowing me to think, in my own ignorance, that I had somehow fulfilled an obligation by my service. And that this somehow meant that I could spend my time how I wished as long as I was upholding my commitments.
However, recently, I was reminded of a great truth. God cannot be repaid. No matter what I do, I can never fulfill any obligation or debt I owe Him. He paid my debt in full, and I accepted His life in exchange for my own.
The problem is, I have been trying to live my life as if it was my own. God had so much for me that I had been missing because I chose to do some things on my own.
Upon the realization of this fact, I claimed a new, set-apart life. And I have become more aware that my life, my time and my energy are not my own. "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. This life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (Gal. 2:20 NIV)
Through a sometimes painful process, God has begun to shape me into a woman He can use. This has been battle between flesh and spirit, and often, I allow flesh to win. This has meant a lot of changes for me, the least of which is a indefinite fast from my television*, and a constant questioning of motives.
God has changed my perspective, and in light of His great love and sacrifice, I now find myself asking, "How can I serve God more? How can I bring Him more glory? What else can I give Him?" Not out of obligation, but out of gratitude.
I have laid all my life down, piece by piece. All my hopes and dreams (many which I still believe He will fulfill). And I pray each day as catch myself reclaiming bits and pieces and repent over and over. I want to say with the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego: "If [I] am thrown into the blazing furnace, the God [I] serve is able to save[me].But even if He does not, [I] will not serve [other gods]."(Dan. 3:17-18)

*Please don't misunderstand this and think that I believe that television, in itself, leads to a life against God. I simply meant to convey that my attachment to television instead of God was sinful.

Entry 2: "Some one plaese save us"

2009-04-06T23:17:00.003-07:00

The words to "College Kids" by Relient K ran through my head over and over again this weekend as I was constantly reminded of how desperate "us college kids" really are for direction. A typical conversation with my friends often leads to at least one dilemma we are facing at the present time. Sometimes, it's something as simple as what to eat for lunch, or whether to actually go to class(the right answer of course is "yes", just in case a mother or professor asks). And sometimes it's not so simple. Do I live at home, and save money? If I have a choice, do I get a job? What major should I pick? What school should I transfer to next?

This weekend, my dear friends and I were removed from our normal set of questions and introduced to something new, and to be honest, a little frightening. This weekend we took part in AZ Fuzion, which is a program that brings college students from all over AZ to help plant churches in Tucson. Now, right now, my parents are serving along side some dear family friends in a church plant in Peoria. So, I have some knowledge of what this might entail. And my home church is still sharing space, so I understand some of those frustrations. But this weekend, our challenge was not the activities we helped with at these young churches, but rather what thoughts came along with this.

We were challenged by the pastors and leaders to take what we learned this weekend and pray about planting a church at our college.... now! A crazy and completely impractical, totally illogical by almost any standard, and absolutely a God-inspired thing to challenge us with. Personally, I am no more inclined to start a church now than I was before I went to Tucson on Friday. However, I am totally encouraged that I can do what God has called me to. I believe beyond a doubt He has called me to something much greater than myself (the details of which are still fuzzy), and most of the time I am terrified. But this weekend, I met some college kids who planted a church! Four college students, one pastor, his wife and their two kids, in the middle of Tucson. They planted a church!

And then I am reminded. A young girl and her husband raised the God of the universe for a few years. I am reminded, a young man slayed a giant and became a war hero. I am reminded of so many young ones called by God to do His work. It only took Him six days to build the Earth, just think of how much He can do with me in a couple years.
My prayer for my dear college students is that we don't lose track of whatever God has revealed to us because of all the daily questions college raises, but we focus on what really matters. That we follow the path God has laid out for us with the thought always on our mind that God loves all the lost people around us, and His desire is to use us to reach them.

I often ask God why He chose us to do His work. He still hasn't answered that one yet, but I suspect it is for the same reason He sent His Son: He loves us, and He wants us to love Him. By allowing us to show His glory, we also show Him our love. This is His delight. If that idea doesn't humble you, you must not have the same picture of God that I do, because this revelation continuously brings me to my knees.
I feel often like the lowest person among people when I approach God about His call on my life. I see all my faults, and everyone else seems less hole-ly and a lot more holy. She has more experience, and he a better testimony. She has more money, and he more faith. They definitely know their Bible better, and the others have more love for the lost. Why me, my Lord? I am willing, honored, really, but why? Is not their a less faulty servant that you could use?

But God reminds me, in my weakness He is strong. In my failures, His success more easily shows itself. So again I surrender to the Most High God and pray that I do not fail Him.

And, now, we move forward, together, my friends and I, on our at once separate and united journeys toward Eternity. Desperately, we strive for more to join us, and so provide them with the Key that unlocked our chains. And we question new things? Does God want me to plant a church? Is God calling me to move in order to better serve Him? In what way can I be most effective for Christ while my when and where is now and here?

Again, I ask for your prayers. And I challenge you, if you haven't already, ask yourself these questions. You may be surprised by what you discover, about God and yourself. I certainly was.

Maranatha--
Missionary Hicks

Life as a college student: Entry 1

2009-03-26T21:02:00.002-07:00

Ok, so for those who don't know, on top of my involvement in Children's Ministry at church, and my job, and classes, I also am very involved in a ministry on campus at my school. I sing on the worship team, and am generally an extra pair of hands when they need me. And if you are sitting around wondering, "Hmm, What should I pray about?" I have the answer.
Pray for us. As you probably know, college can be a very difficult time. So far, I can see how it could be "the best time of my life", but it is definitely a very difficult time also. Most of the leaders in my group not only are full time students, but honor students. Many of us work, some more than part time. All of us are involved in our churches, and all of us have family obligations, whether or not we live at home. On top of this we are bombarded daily with messages that directly contradict the Word of God, and sometimes required to regurgitate such lies in order to pass our classes. We are faced with a very hard balance: How do you love the students on campus and show them that you are not judging them, and at the same time live a life pleasing to God?
And while all this is going on, we are faced with one big question that kind of looms over our heads all day, every day: What do I do next? We want to go and do and be something greater, and we just don't know where it starts.
Thankfully, God has blessed me and my friends with each other, and His presence among us on an almost daily basis. I am so thankful, that I am overflowing. This group has impacted my life in a way no others have. They have been a constant encouragement and a spout from which God has poured His love on me.
And right now, we are facing struggles. Like the Thessalonians, we have had a great season of Joy and Growth, but it seems to be time now for pain and testing. Our group leader is struggling with some things, and setting a great example to us, but still is a very broken servant of God. Our worship leader is going through some tough stuff and is struggling with insecurity. Many of us seem to have schedules and commitments that overwhelm us. It seemed that this week it was all coming to a head, and I feared we might fall apart. But God is in control.
Today, we surrendered ourselves to God, and He moved among us in a powerful way. I hope He breaks us all just a little bit more.
Today a young man who is pretty new to our group shared on a passage that has meant so much to me: 1 Timothy 4:12.
Generally, when doing in depth studies, I shy away from the common favorites, just in an attempt to learn something new, but this verse has shown up everywhere, by God's grace, and He has used it to break me and build me up again, and again, and again. So I praise God that He used it again today to touch so many of my beloved friends(and me as well).
"Do not let any one look down on you because you are young" I am the youngest member of the Children's Ministry Leadership Team at my church. God has used this passage to teach me that He has called me, and equipped me to do a work in His name. So no matter what my age, I need to follow through and obey Him. This is not easy when you know that everyone you work with is older (and seemingly more experienced). But do not be fooled by thinking that this means that you will not receive godly rebuke. Certainly, there are things for which people rightly "look down on you", but youth is not one of them.
"but set an example for believers" See, this is the hard part. As a leader, and a woman called to ministry, it is my duty to set an example. Of what? Of Christ. I bare His name, and now, as I often tell my dear Serene, I must live up to the name I have been given. How?
"in speech" The book of James gives us enough on speech to last forever, and I recently went through a study with the women at our church on this. This is tough stuff. I have recently been called out on my grumbling. It is a continuous battle.
"in life" Well, can you be more general? In life? I'm sure Timothy thought, 'Really Paul, could you help a brother out here?' But think about this, Paul reminds us that "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Gal 2:20-21 NIV) To set an example in life is to be completely dependent on God spiritually, and completely aware of your physical dependence on Him. We are all, literally, desperate for God. We need Him to ordain every beat of our hearts.
"in love" The Bible says over and over that love is so incredibly important. In fact Paul says nothing else matters without it. Yet, I see this struggle to love in myself and others. It is so hard for our flesh. Which is why we must, MUST live by the power of God. Because "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10 NIV) So now, we can be called the sons and daughters of God. Why? To love. Wow.
"in faith" This one cut me to the quick today. God has kind of worked on my life in the order of this verse since He called me to ministry. Se often revisit the areas I have already learn to polish me up, but we are moving on. Today, He reminded me that I have been learning about faith. I have tested God, and asked Him to prove Himself. I thought I now knew better and could trust Him completely, today, He revealed my heart to me, and it hurt to learn how I have doubted my Lord. The One who provided so much so recently. I cannot let go and trust Him. But that is what He calls us to do, especially leaders, but all of us. In Matthew 17:20, we learn the power of faith, and God has given it freely, so we need only to use it.
"and in purity." Of this I am certain, complete and utter purity is impossible for any sinner, and we are all sinners. In fact, I would love to challenge Paul for the title of chief sometimes. However, I work with God for this purity because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And He would not call me to something He didn't wish me to accomplish. And so, I know He who began this work in me will complete it.
This is the life I have been called to live, and so I am living it to the best of my ability. As are my friends. We live among and corrupt and depraved generation, in which we hope to shine like stars. So pray with us and for us.

I'm back, for real

2009-03-17T13:18:00.003-07:00

I was only gone for a week, but it took me a month to recover. How does that happen? I was certain I had spoken to everyone I knew about my trip already, and then there was a church picnic. Full of people with questions. Especially the hardest question I've ever been called upon to answer: How was your trip? Well, I answered to the best of my ability, but the tolerant, slightly confused espressions showed me that my dear friends couldn't possibly relate to my week away from myself. So I sighed and encouraged any desire to go. Yes, please go.
I am excited for several reasons this week. First off, my school is out for Spring Break! Yay. No class, much needed sleep, and some homework catchup. Yesssss.
Also, today is St. Patrick's day, fun and green in a mostly Irish family. (And no I will not be drinking green beer. ugh. Another question I hate to answer, but for a different reason.)
I am also excited to say that I have officially applied for Calvary Chapel Bible college, and am now waiting on a few secondary items that I must send in. Then, of course, I will wait for a response. So, its becoming real. And really quite scary. I need to trust God in this one. I know He can do it, but I also need to believe He will. So pray with me on this one.
The other reason I am excited has little to do with me. Our youth is doing the 30-Hour Famine. Which is an awesome program that has a two-fold prupose. It not only raises money for World Vision, but it teaches jr. high and high school students what hunger is. It's awesome. And I have decided to support a few of the kids I know who are going hungry for a day and 6 hrs. So I am excited to see what God has for them.
I am now going to end this blog with a request. I ask that you would pray for Erica and David as they are hoping to lead a trip to Ethiopia next year. I know of several people who are already interested, and so my prayer for the year (and I hope yours as well) is that God would provide in all ways for this to take place. Financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually, that He would prepare each person He calls to this trip.

tagged

2009-02-16T16:28:00.001-07:00

I guess its what the cool thing to do is... so here is the fourth picture from the fourth row of the fourth folder (I hope that's right.) It's from Suessical the Musical as done by Willow Canyon High School in 2007. I'm one of the creatures in the back somewhere.

How God is Moving

2009-02-13T14:37:00.003-07:00

So, I have returned from the birthplace of coffee. My family was happy that I came bearing many gifts. However, I have very few pictures. That was a disappointment to many. But, never fear, Erica took many, so talk to her for the visual experience of a life time. Or at least the best you'll get from this trip. I did manage to steal a few from her and Sarah. If you'd like to view a nice video, visit our trip blog. David did a great job.
This post is not really about pictures, though, so I will move on. On Thursday, I went to the meeting for the Christian group on my campus and our leader approached me about sharing a testimony about the trip. Immediately, my face turned red, my palms began to sweat, and my heart rate increased. So, of course, I said what anyone would in my position, "Um... uh.. OK." I then went on to explain to him that I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say, or what I could say about the trip. His idea of clarification was, "Just tell how God is moving." Hmmm... I don't know what you would have done, but if you do, let me know because next Thursday, I will be standing in front of a jury of my peers explaining how God is moving in Ethiopia.
So now, I have to answer the question I really hadn't asked God yet. So I began to pray, God, how are you moving in Ethiopia? And I kept praying, and well, God hasn't really told me the answer to that one yet; so I don't think that's what I am going to talk about next week.
You see, I'm sure if you poled the 24 different people on the trip, you would get 24 different answers on how God is moving in Ethiopia. You would also get 24 answers on how God has used this trip to move in the lives of those individuals. So, I'm going to do my best to address my own answer to those questions.
First of all, there is no doubt in my mind that God is at work in Ethiopia. I believe God loves every orphan and street child very much. I believe He is grieved by the prostitutes and the slaves. I believe He is excited to work through the willing hearts of His people there (and here) to make a difference in that country. I believe it so strongly, that I am very honored to have been a small part of it, and would love to see many more people allow God to use them in His work there.
Secondly, I believe God is working just as much right here in Arizona. I believe there are just as many people in my area that need the love of Christ as there are on the streets of Addis. Their physical needs may not be the same, but their spiritual needs are just as real. And God is just as real here as He is there.
Now, I hope I have not offended anyone involved in foreign missions by this statement. My point was in no way to belittle the importance of us meeting the urgent needs of the people I met in Ethiopia. Indeed we are called to serve God by meeting the physical needs of those less fortunate than us. I simply want to clarify that if you do not feel overly burdened to leave the country and surround yourself with orphans that does not exclude you from being part of God's work. There must be someone to share the good news with the rich man as well as the orphan.
Also, some of God's work here is to shake up the church, or as Erica said, "To light a fire." God is working in the hearts of many "Western" Christians to give us an awareness of the needs of our brothers and sisters around the world. And I am very glad to be part of the group chosen to go so that I might return to share. In this way God is moving universally to unite His people across the nation and around the globe. It is very exciting, for the needs are great, but our God is greater. That is something He proved to me on this trip over, and over, and over again.
Finally, God is at work in me. Through this trip He has shown me a little more of who He is. He is, in a very tangible way, a Father to the fatherless. He is a Strong Tower, a Shelter. He is the Great Provider, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physiologically. He provided money. He held back many tears. He provided faith. And He healed sickness.
Through this trip, God also showed me a little more of who I am. And who I am not. Some of this was encouraging. Some of it was heartbreaking. And some of it was downright terrifying. You see, for awhile, I have known God has called me to live the life of full time ministry. There are parts of that I find really exciting. In church, people love that person, and I truly cannot imagine a more enjoyable or rewarding life than one spent serving God as a career.
However, God has asked me to sacrifice a few specific things that I don't want to give up. Some things that are very near and dear to me. He has promised me that He will fulfill the desires of my heart if I follow Him. He has promised that His plans are so much greater than mine that I can't even imagine them. But the price He has asked me to pay at times has seemed just too high.
I didn't tell anyone, but I was about to give up, and give in to my own desires and put God's plan on hold. I just didn't think I had what it takes to follow God into this scary world of ministry. Then, I put God to the test. Not once, but twice. I asked Him to prove Himself to me and through me.
I would not recommend my course of action to anyone. It is a scary thing to test the Almighty. It puts your spirit through great turmoil that takes toll on every aspect of your being. But if you follow my bad example, know this: God is faithful. Even when you fail Him, and test Him, and refuse to submit, God is undeniably faithful. And He will prove Himself. But never on your terms. And that is what He did for me.
You see, God is alive and moving. Here, in a small community just outside Phoenix. And half way across the world in a city swarming with homeless and abandoned children. And God is the same here and there. And He will always be faithful to Himself, and to His people.
And that is how God is moving.

So Long

2009-01-22T16:57:00.002-07:00

By this time tomorrow I will be well on my way to Addis. If you still don't know, I am headed to Ethiopia for a week. There, along side Erica, Sarah and other faithful servants from the States, I will be helping those far less privalaged than we. I am glad to know that so many of you have supported us with prayer and financial gifts. Please continue to pray. We do so need it. I dont' think I can stress how much your prayers mean to us.
If you wonder what to pray for, pray that we are ready physically, emotionally and spiritually for what God has waiting for us.
Pray that we won't get in the way of His blessings.
Pray that we trust in Him and see Him as He moves.
There are many other things you can and should pray if God leads, but this is what is on my heart, so I wanted to share it with you.
I've got a long day of travel ahead of me, so I'll keep this brief. I'll post more in February, and hopefully lots of pictures.

Nothin' Stoppin' Us Now

2009-01-20T17:55:00.002-07:00

(This has also been posted on the Addis blog.)
Ok, so today is just a few days before we fly out and at this point Erica and Sarah have already suffered trials the kind of which I could deem only attacks. I, today, was just excited as anything. We had some exciting news from D. and are almost all packed. Passports are ready, and all signs are go....
And then...

I was driving, not on my phone, seat belt secure, came to a full stop a car length behind the car in front of me...(I'm sure you can guess where this one is headed.) Seconds later my rear windshield, my cute little hatch, and my precious "prayin' girl" were gone. I searched frantically for my cell phone, but to no avail.
As soon as the police had been called and all important documents had been retrieved, I waited for an hour with the other two involved parties. And when we were given the "all clear", I did what any rational college student who is a week away from her 20th birthday would do, I drove a mile to my brother's house, cried like a baby and tried to break in, and then he showed up just in time to stop me from breaking something.

Now, my dad is dealing with the insurance (I love that man!) and I am asking all of you to pray. Pray the prayer I have been praying since I got hit:

God, we know that you are in control and that you have allowed this for a purpose. I don't know what that is, but I pray that you will be glorified by your faithfulness in this situation. I know you love me and have the best plan for Erica, Sarah and I on this trip. I pray that you would hold us close and keep us focused on you. -- Amen

It's Official!

2009-01-16T14:38:00.002-07:00

Ok, so this has been yet another crazy-wonderful week. My brother's birthday was on Monday. Wednesday, I went to my post-op appointment and my mouth is healing right on schedule. And so, I spent the day half the day with my friend and the other half with my brother and his family. All the while chipping away at small tasks that are yet to be accomplished so that I can start school on next Tuesday and leave the continent on next Friday.
Thursday was my mom's day off so we went grocery shopping, and I picked up some stuff at Wal-Mart, a typical Thursday, except that I left my phone at home. Upon arrival, I realized I had not one, but two missed calls from Erica. Well, as much as we love each other, Erica and I do not spend hours chatting away, so for her to call me twic, something was up. So, certain something was terribly amiss with our travel plans, I immediately called her back.
I was relieved and excited to learn that Sarah is now joining us on the amazing, God-inspired trip. YAY!!!
So, I was whisped off to my family January-birthday dinner in honor of my brother and I. Yummy Chinese food, followed by Thrifty's ice-cream and a night of watching princess movies on my bed with my niece snuggled up beside me. It was good.
Then this morning came, I was getting ready and trying to see if I had enough clothes to last me through the coming week and my trip with out doing laudry when the phone rang... This time not exciting fun news. No, bad news. One of my classes had been dropped. I needed it to fit three different requirements so I could graduate on time. Panic Mode engaged! Now, I have scheduled my classes very carefully weighing several factors (including likelihood that they would get canceled). And all this was done, oh so long ago. I had a plan, a system. It was figured out. All my problems had been solved. To this my Heavenly Father just shook His head and held back a chuckle as He watched the fret and fury of a desporite college student as she raced around the house, grabbing the book she had already bought (and began to read) but would no longer need. I said a quick prayer and left for the school. As I drove down the road, my prayer continued a little something like this:
Lord, I know You can do anything. I know YOu have said You have all this under control. Help me now to believe it.
I waited in line and the waited in a waiting room. Then I saw the advisor. Of course there were no more Shakespeare classes. Of course, my first choice was full. And the second? Well, go figure. Yes, keep looking, please. Ok. Monday-Wednesday-Friday will have to do... unless. And then, God reminded me He was in charge... I asked the advisor to check to see what was available at the time of my canceled class. And, to my amazement, there was another class that fit all the same requirements. The only downside: an instructor I do not know.
But I do know this: God wants me in that class. There was a reason for this. If not only to prove to me, once again that He is in control and He has my best interest in mind. I should not doubt Him. Especcially after His amazing faithfulness in this trip to Africa.
So, now, I am officailly on track to graduate in May! And I am officially going to Ethiopia in one week! And I am praying I make it there in full sanity and return to school ready to learn.

Inspired

2009-01-12T18:35:00.002-07:00

Right now, I was reading Erica's blog and was inspired. To say thank you. To blog. And to face the reality that in a very short time I will be headed to Ethiopia.
Inspiration is a funny thing. It hits suddenly and because of different things for everyone, but we all at some point are inspired to do something. And this may sound like rambling, as is often the case with my blogs, but I promise there is a point.
On Wednesday, I had my wisdom teeth removed. All four. It was painful, and horrific, as promised, and I was all dopey for quite awhile. In fact, This morning, I went ahead and took that Vicodin, since I don't work today. And I was laying around all week feeling miserable, and not really attempting to do much else. And then, the phone would vibrate, and my world would change. Maybe, it was Erica, and I needed to DO SOMETHING!
Let me just say that as far as this trip to Ethiopia is concerned, I have done very little. I am just willing to go. There was little inspiring needed, and not much that took place. I decided God could do this and started saving and praying and it just came about... So I don't know why Erica's call always seemed to inspire me to do the few things I knew that needed to be done on my part, but they did.
Now, the point. This is a lot like my life as a Christian. When something discouraging happens, I stop doing much of anything and start waiting for God to call me to action. Sometimes, there is a necessary healing process, but that does not prevent us from continuing to do our best for Christ, to follow His call, and to do that which we know we should. Just as I could have been on my computer, or gathering my checkbook and passport before the awaited call, in life, I can be praying, reading the Word, witnessing and just willing to go, all the time. I should not need constant "inspiration" to get me moving. Yes, I should be keen in listening to the voice of God and following His direction, but that doesn't always mean a blaring alarm of conscious....
Well, this is what convicted me, so I am sharing...

Lord, hold me closer to You that I may hear Your whispers, feel Your touch, and see Your face. Let me grow to be more like You by the example of Your Son and the people you have placed in my life. Let me be worthy to be called by Your name as I daily claim to be a Christian. I want to follow you. And I am ready to go!
Amen.

Down down up up down

2009-01-06T08:07:00.002-07:00

So, it's been awhile since I've posted anything, so I thought it was about time. I have been so busy. I always think that next month will be the month things slow down, and I am constantly surprised that I continue to have things to fill my time with. Last month that included finals, a play, and two major holidays. This month it would seem is full of school, oral surgery, birthdays, and a trip to Africa. Not to mention work, family, and trying to find time for friends. And so is the life of a college student.

However, I am excited to say that funds have been raised, mostly. And this list was emailed to me about acceptable donations for my trip:

1.Queen white sheet set sold at Walmart…brand is Canopy.
2.Bible Flannel Graph (tells Bible stories with felt figures)
3.Puppets and portable puppet show
4.Bible puppets if possible
5.Coloring books and colored pencils (they have crayons in ET)
6.Bubble wands, bubble guns, bubble machines (no need to carry bubbles as they are heavy and we can make them over there)
7.Kids Parachutes (the kind with the handles that kids can hold on to)
8.Pop-up tent style play forts (some have tunnels that connect boxes together that kids crawl through…light weight, etc) The kids have so much fun with these!
9.Deflated soccer balls
10.VBS and/or Awanas type supplies…craft kits, etc.
11.Lincoln Logs (a lot of people have these laying around…used ones are fine)
12.Children’s Bible DVDs of any kind…again, used are fine…with or without the case is fine

So, today, I am going shopping! Soon we will be on our way, so please keep me, Erica, and the other 19 people on this trip in your prayers as we head across the globe to share Christ's love with the people of Ethiopia. I could not ask for a better birthday present! (Let's just hope all my instructors are understanding.)

Mission Ethiopia Trip Update

2008-12-15T13:02:00.004-07:00

So, today I registered for my trip.
Erica and I had a garage sale at her home on Friday and Saturday and we raised a little bit in that way. However, we are still in need of quite a bit of fundage. I know that nobody likes to be asked for money, and let me assure you it is not fun to be on the asking side either, but the time has come (and probably passed) for me to ask. So, I would ask that if you would like to donate money this Christmas to a charity or mission organization that you would think and pray about donating to this trip. We both still need to pay for our airfare and a few other expenses. I don't expect anyone to make it their responsibility to personally sponsor mine or Erica's trip single-handedly. However, we are selling bracelets for $2, and Erica is planning on posting a list of things needed by the Guest House and Orphanages in the area which you could donate for us to take. However, as space is limited in our suitcases, we plan on bringing a monetary gift to the people of Ethiopia, and we would love it if you could help us make that gift even greater.
Please pass this message along to anyone you know who is mission-minded. Thank you all for your prayer and support.

A Month of Thanksgiving

2008-12-01T00:00:00.009-07:00

Here's a Summary of my Thankfulness list from last month:
1.Freedom in Christ.
2.My parents.
3.My sisters.
4.My brother, his wife, and his two children.
5.My dear friend, Amy.
6.All my friends at CCS.
7.My brothers and sisters in Christ at EMCC.
8.I live in the United States of America.
9.My job.
10.My car.
11. The Military!
12. My legs.
13.Technology.
14.The Bible.
15.Coffee.
16.Calvary Chapel Surprise, my church.
17.Little things that remind me of God's love.
18.God chose me.
19.Education.
20.Celebrations!
21.Old friends.
22. Mrs. Swinney
23."Flea" people.
24.Things that beep.

Fleas!!! Days 20 - 24

2008-11-24T14:03:00.002-07:00

20. Thursday was an awesome day full of things to be thankful for. So, mostly, I will just say that I am thankful for celebrations and everything that they entail. From the thrill of seeing a long-planned project come together, to the simple joy of consuming delicious foods made by good friends and the laughter and smiles and silly anecdotes. Thursday was a medley celebration pot-luck at Christian Challenge. It was also the longest day of my life. But it was fun!

21. Friday, also a long day, I am thankful for a special family. I saw some friends on Friday that I have missed. A family with whom I was very close, and am now barely connected. So I am thankful for them despite our somewhat strained relationship.

22. On Saturday, I was very grateful for Mrs. Caroll Brown Swinney. She was my high school theatre teacher, and as a chaperon for the thespian festival, I was so grateful for her continuing influence in my life, and for her stand against moral compromise amid the craziness of performing arts.

23. Sunday we talked about being thankful for the "bad" things or fleas in life. So, I will be thankful for the people who are daily teaching me patience through their lack of kindness and giving me an opportunity to share the concept of unconditional love.

24. Today, I am thankful for things that beep. I hate them so much, and often wish that I could live in a world without alarm clocks and kitchen timers. There are at least half a dozen beeping apliances at my house. Thankfully they have probably prevented some terrible things in my life.

Thanks!

2008-11-19T09:44:00.002-07:00

Okay, so today, day 19, I am thankful for Education. That may sound silly, but I really have been trying to focus on all the things that I am least thankful for and turning them around to see why God has brought them to me. So, as I finish up my silly essay about how Hinduism relates to "The Matrix", I write down my praise to God for allowing me the opportunity to learn more about how others think so that I may reach them for His sake. So I am thankful.

Thankful for...

2008-11-18T11:23:00.002-07:00

Day 18:
I am thankful that God has decided that He will use me for His service. I am thankful that He sees me as worthy of persecution. I am thankful that my ability to serve God is in no way based on my ability.
Right now, I am trying and trying and trying to do the right thing. Over and over I am reminded that I need to just let go and trust that God can do this (with or without me) and that He has chosen me as the vessel.
Thank you, God for choosing me. I don't know why You did, but you did.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed what God has planned.
I only know at his right hand
Stands One who is my Savior.

Days 15-17, thank you

2008-11-17T13:05:00.002-07:00

15. Saturday was a long day of work. A lot of work. I pretty much drove home on auto-pilot. So, thank You, Lord, for coffee. It really is wonderful. I love it, and I am so glad God created it.

16. Yesterday, I was so thankful for time to just relax and worship God. I was thankful for our Pastor and his faithfulness to preach the Word of God, no exceptions... We finally finished Galatians! I am thankful for my church.

17.So now, today. Today, I am thankful for little things that remind me of God's love. For flowers, sunsets, and the voices of small children. For the extra quarter in the tip jar and the smile of a stranger. For my favorite song playing just when my day was going all wrong. For the feeling of a soft pillow and sincere peace... I am thankful.

Day 14 already...

2008-11-14T09:26:00.002-07:00

Today, I am thankful for the written Word of God. It blows my mind to think of how many details throughiout history were carefully laid out so that I could have an English Bible. Yesterday at Christian Challenge, we had aquired, finally, a few more Bibles. I was thrilled. Since it is usually my duty to pass out Bibles to those who are lacking, I have been rather depressed lately at our slim supply. But yesterday there was a giant stack. Since then, I have been thinking about the fact that in so many places, Bibles are not only in short supply, they are often illegal, sometimes unheard of. So today, I am thankful for the Bible. For my little blue personalized Bible. And for all the Bibles we have printed in all the languages so far, and the ones to come.
I am also thankful for my favorite passages of Scripture and how faithful God is to speak directly to me through His Word.
I Timothy 3:16&17 -- "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped for every good work."

Oh, yeah... about that...

2008-11-13T12:13:00.003-07:00

So, since I woke up today, I have been trying to come up with something I am thankful for... Something that today specifically God has revealed to me that I take for granted.
Well, here it is. I am thankful for technology.... yep, that's right. Me, Rachael, the technologically challenged blogger who took three months to find the picture upload icon is thankful for technology. Me, Rachael, the only person I know under 25 who can't make their own Cd's without help. Me, Rachael, the one who has notebooks filled with poems and journal entries, and yet avoids writing essays when it involves a keyboard.
For those of you who do not know, I can hardly set up a DVD player. However, I have learned (with much coaching from my younger sister and sister-in-law) how to use several programs and websites to get stuff done. And as much as I complain about cell phones and the Internet and cable television (and it's more evil competition satellite) I have become more and more aware that these things are often taken advantage of by me.
Through these, I have been able to keep contact with several friends. I have created beautiful gifts for family members. And I have been better equipped with resources that have helped me study the Word of God.
Also, most recently, they have kept me aware of just how much there is to be thankful for... just how much I have taken for granted...
So that concludes Day 13, the day I am thankful for the things I dread.

11&12

2008-11-12T11:55:00.002-07:00

Day 11: Veteran's day!
I am so thankful for all the Military! I am thankful for my brother (and men and women like him) who have served in our country's armed forces. I am thankful for my grandfather who I have never met and his siblings who all served our country during war time.
Every year in Sacramento, this was a sobering day, as my dad spent this day at the cemetary.

Day 12: My Dad's birthday!
Today I am thankful for my legs. This may sound silly, but recently a dear friend of mine was injured at work. He is now unable to walk or drive for the time being. I am so glad for the full use of both of my legs. Even when they hurt. At least they work. And they allow me to continue all my work for my job, for school, and for ministry.

Thanks to all you who are also posting your thanksgiving. It is very encouraging.

Days 9 and 10

2008-11-10T13:05:00.004-07:00

Day 9:
Yesterday, I did not have the chance to post. But I realize now what I should have been thankful for yesterday: My job.
I was very grumpy about going to work. I was frustrated that I have been working a lot lately. I was thinking, "I got paid much better before. Why did I switch jobs?"
But I know I did the right thing. I actually love my job. I enjoy making coffee and meeting new people each day. I love my co-workers (even though my two friends I knew when I started now work other places). I don't mind cleaning the bathrooms or doing the dishes. It's waaaay less stress than my old job, and just plane ol' fun. Plus, who doesn't love free coffee?

Day 10:
Today, I am thankful for my car. I want to give it a great name. It has been through so much. Let me mention, first, that I have an.... interesting driving history. I got this car not long after my last one had some reverse cosmetic surgery in the form of my "failing to yeild while making a left hand turn" (at least that's what the cop said). It had also suffered a couple garage door incidents and been the weapon in a dog's murder (or so the PETA activists yelled as I cried myself home).
Well, let's just say that my other car had some not-so-fond memories attached to it. So, last Christmas, my parents and I struck a deal, and I got my new car. He's a lovely little thing. I have even adorned him with a Calvary Chapel Surprise window sticker and a girl praying at the cross. My rearview also sports the great charm my mom bought that is pretty fitting, "Take the road less traveled, but don't get lost."
Well, last week, I had an incident involving bushes. My poor car survived with barely a scratch.

Day 8... Thankfulness

2008-11-08T09:52:00.002-07:00

I am thankful that I live in the United States of America. For so many reasons. First, because I can worship God without fear of persecution. (For now anyway.) Secondly, because even our poor are not as poor as most of the world. Because I have clean water, FDA approved food, and medical care available (even if it is sometimes expensive).

PS... I have created a page for my Chip-In account. click here for more information.

It's about that time again..

2008-11-07T13:27:00.003-07:00

I know every one's been asking for pictures of my nephew, but there just aren't very many yet. Soon... soon.
This post is actually about something else. My birthday, kind of...
For those who have been around me for my birthday, you may have noticed that I love birthdays. I know many people who see birthdays as dreadful, and just a day of embarrassment. I, on the other hand, love to have people sing to me, and wish me happy birthday. I love cards that show me that the people I love also love me. I am not big on gifts, but I do enjoy any gesture on my birthday.
In the past I, like most people, have had my share of good and not so good birthdays. Last year was definitely the not-so-good peak. And my 16th birthday was definitely the best.
This coming birthday (as well as the birthday of my friend Amy with whom I shared the best 16th birthday ever) I will be in.... wait for it.... wait for it....
ETHIOPIA!!!
That is if I can raise (well, if God is willing to provide, that is) the funds necessary for this trip.
My friend Erica, who recently adopted from Ethiopia, told me that she was going alone. I just could not allow that. Besides, my passport is getting rusty.
Actually, it was a total God thing. I had been praying about how I could serve God oversees and still do all the things I have already committed to do here. I just kept thinking, "It would be awesome if there was an opportunity in the winter."
Then, a few weeks later, Erica told me about her trip. I told her I would pray about it. And I did. I was not really sure. So I decided to talk to my dad. He was really supportive. Which shouldn't have shocked me, but it did.
Then I told my brother and his wife, only seeking their prayers and opinions. They offered support in "any way they could help."
So, then I went on the Women's Retreat, and returned knowing God wanted me to commit to this. So, I did, but I guess not fully, because it took me awhile to tell anyone (even Erica). So, here is me proclaiming my commitment. And my faith that God will take care of me and everything He has called me to do.
So, please pray for me, and for Erica, as we prepare to follow God to a far off land.
This is my prayer:
"God be gracious to us and bless us, And cause His face to shine upon us-- Selah. That Your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all nations." --Psalm 67:1&2

Ok, and now, here I am about a week late starting this so here is what I am thankful for:
1.Freedom in Christ (Galatians...fireworks...4th of July...yep, those illustrations really stick.)

2.My parents. I truly don't know where I would be without the parents who have given a balance to my life and raised me to love God and His Word. Especially my father, the walking concordanance and my earthly (not quite perfect) example of my Heavenly Father.

3.My sisters. I love them both, and their differences help me to respect and care for others that I might not otherwise love.

4.My brother, his wife, and his two children. In adulthood, my brother has become the sibling that I am closest to, and Stephi is one of my best friends. Their kids are the joy of my life, teaching me so much about the beauty of God.

5.My dear friend, Amy who I miss so much, who has just this week surprised me with a lovely gift in the mail.

6.All my friends at CCS, who pray with and for me, who inspire and encourage me and serve along side me.

7.My brothers and sisters in Christ at EMCC. (And those who no longer go here.) They brought light to a world of darkness otherwise known as Public College.

More to come.

NO More Glass

2008-10-28T11:55:00.002-07:00

This picture was taken a few days ago. Serene got to see her baby brother for the first time. Unfortunately it was with a glass wall between them.

Yesterday, however, she got to see him up close. She could touch him, hear him squeak, watch him eat and sleep. Yesterday, Skyler came home. Praise God. My dear sister-in-law was almost in tears thinking that she could finally bring him home. My brother was practically cheering the whole day.

It was a long day, but it had a happy ending.

My sister-in-law, Stephani, doesn't even know how much of a blessing she has been through this past two weeks of uncertainty. She continues to remind me that she is blessed that Serene is perfectly healthy and that Skyler just 'has a little trouble breathing'. We were talking the other day about the families at my church that are going through cancer treatments with their children.

Considering her circumstances, some might think she has the right to be very self centered now more than ever, but her little experience has helped us all focus on the situation that lasts much longer for so many others.

Now that Skyler is home, there will be no more daily trips to the hospital for the Morss family, but for so many families, that is a reality that they are learning to deal with. One that will not go away in two weeks, or even two months. For some families, this is a reality that they may face for years.

So today, rejoice with me as we praise our Creator for billions of lives sustained around the globe. Most in fairly good health. Some with the need of hospitals. Praise God that we have medicine for so many who need it. And praise Him that He has been merciful enough to remove pain from some, and to remove others from pain.

And pray for the strength of families who are now watching their children fight grown-up battles.

Thanks Monica

2008-10-25T19:37:00.003-07:00

Monica just gave me a blog award. So I am posting this blog to thank her, and to recognize those blogs that I appreciate.

Monica has already recognized most of my favorite blogs. However, I would like to recognize those she has not.

Basically... that means the AZ Mannings. So go check out their page. It is a crazy fun blog written by the various members of one of my favorite families to follow. Sometimes it's serious. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's just strange. Gotta love them Mannings.

And for those like me who don't understand what the award says, I copied this from a friend:

This blog invests and believes, the proximity. [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' -being close through proxy]. They all are charmed with the blogs, where in the majority of its aims are to show the marvels and to do friendship; there are persons who are not interested when we give them a prize, and then they help to cut these bows; do we want that they are cut, or that they propagate?

The official rules say we need to nominate 8 blogs.... so here are the others I will award:

Litten Lamn Academy- That's Monica's blog about homeschooling. Fun stuff. She also has been a real encouragement to me through comments.

Harrell Hearts at Home - Malinda always tells me that my blogs are "deep", but I have only godly women like her to thank for the wisdom I have so far gleaned.

The Road Less Traveled - My first friend at our church, Erica has become so dear to me. I always feel excited to read about her and David's adoption story. I love all their kids so much, and I think Erica is not only a great blogger, but a great mom, and a great friend. Quirks and all.

Meli's Family - Melissa's having a girl.... and we all are excited for her! That's because her blog has a way of making the every day stuff sound exciting and adventerous.

My Blessed Life - I love Tammy's fun style and her sense of humor that comes through in her writing. I love hearing about her fun kids.... both who are very trustworthy.

Sissy23 - Lauren reminds me of myself sometimes. Keep strong in the faith, girl. It's a harder race the longer you run. Thankfully, you don't have to run alone.

Contentment Corner - Julie is the reason I started blogging. She always is an encouragement in the real and virtual world. I love her genuineness, and her desire to learn is inspiring.

So these are the winners.... Love you all.

I'll post a real blog later, but this took all the time I have for now.

Big Sister Serene

2008-10-20T23:39:00.003-07:00

This is my niece Serene. She is a big sister now! And she has been a blessing to me in so many ways. For the past week and a half, her life has been crazy, especially for a child under 3. I have spent several nights with her since her brother was born, and every night she reminds us to pray for her brother, Baby Skyler because she loves him and misses him and wants him to come home.
She reminds me of how important it is to stop and pray and place our cares at the feet of the one who can handle them... Because guess what? We can't.
My word for the year is "Prayer". It is very fitting. In fact, I knew it would be prayer when we picked our words at the retreat. I said, "God, I know that my word is prayer, and I am okay with that as long as it isn't contentment again." And since returning home, I need more prayer than I thought.
My nephew is okay, but not where we had hoped, and he continues to be not at home. This means a lot of trips to the hospital for Mommy, and a lot of inconsistency for Serene.
However, she has benefited with a Big Sister Party and gifts from her Grammy and Papa and all her Tee-Tees. (That's Serenese for Aunts.) It's funny to look at your life and realize that the person you care about and think of the most is your preschool-aged niece. She is also the person that teaches me the most about life. She has started carrying the Bible her parents bought her everywhere. She asks for me to read it to her, and I am totally blessed by her love for God and His Word.
Man, I love this girl.
I just thought I'd share.
Continue in your prayers for Skyler, and for Aaron (3, recently diagnosed with cancer) and Jesse (16, recently diagnosed with Leukemia). I have to say, I think prayers are working now as these families face Job-like struggles.

Skyler

2008-10-15T10:56:00.003-07:00

This is my nephew. Several weeks early, he's our little fighter. Keep him, and his mommy and daddy in your prayers please as we wait to meet him at home.

His mommy got to hold him for the first time last night. Even though he was born on Friday.

13

2008-10-07T09:37:00.002-07:00

This is the title of a song about testimony. The basic idea is that all Christians have their own story of how Christ has changed them and used them. Mine goes a little something like this.

Every Friday was Chapel day at VCA (my school). As a seven-year-old, this was usually a time for me to sing fun songs and to talk to friends without getting caught by the teacher. The pastor was always talking about wisdom and Proverbs. He seemed pretty angry. One week, he got up and was talking about how we were all going to Hell because we are sinners. Well that really scared me. After chapel, our teacher told us about a prayer that could save us. We were learning about Heaven that month, and she said if we said this prayer, we could go to Heaven with God. Well, I may have only been seven, but I knew that Heaven with a loving God was much better than Hell with the devil.
So I raised my hand and said the prayer.
The next week, I knew I had messed up again, and I was certain that my magic prayer should be said again. So I raised my hand.
My teacher promtly informed me that it was ok if I wasn't sure, but that I only needed to say the prayer once, and that God heard me. I wasn't so sure. The magic words must have worn off by this point. So, I repeated them again.
The next week, I didn't tell my teacher, I just said the prayer. I said it every week for a few months.
Then one day my children's choir went to a crusade. The preacher told us about how God loved us even though we mess up. He told us that when Jesus died it was to cover our sins. He said all we had to do was let Jesus come into our lives and be our Lord. To accept His salvation.
I had heard all these words before, but on that day it all made sense. On that day, I knew that God had sent His Son to die just for me. It finally clicked.
Well, this time, when I said the prayer, the words were a little different, and I knew they weren't magic. I just told God how I felt, and I knew that I was set for eternity. And the next week, I didn't have to say the prayer again.
And that is the beginning of my story. It is a long story full of good and bad times. Full of doubt, tears, and fears, but more than that full of Joy, Hope and Grace.

"So, what's your story about His glory?"